The Verbal Submission 04.07.09: Torres Impresses, Dana White Explodes!, Diaz vs. Shamrock, and a New Celeste?

Posted by Chris Robinson on 04.07.2009

Oh Dana White, you've got some 'splainin' to do! Fresh off a weekend filled with beer and broads, I bring you the latest MMA news. WEC 40 went down on Sunday and that main event was a barn burner! Speaking of burning barns, and bridges, Dana White is a man with plan, and that plan ended horribly. Plus, should Lashley compete on TUF? Who's to say! All this, and a beautiful lady with the last name Celeste, but it's not Arianny! Come on in!

It's getting harder and harder to write this column on a weekly basis with fa****s like Loretta Hunt, and all these pu***** flapping their gums. Wait. Sorry, Dana White grabbed my keyboard. Zing! Welcome one and small to The Verbal Submission. I am your gay friendly host, Chris Robinson. This week's column is going to be brief because I'm pressed for time once again. I was able to check in with my thoughts on Fight Night last week, but failed to materialize predictions for WEC 40. I failed to see most of WEC 40 because Vince McMahon suckered me into yet another Wrestlemania. Cue the "queer wrestling fan" comments. Until they pass a constitutional amendment banning people from enjoying MMA and pro wrestling, I am who I am. Today's column will cover a myriad of topics including the main event of WEC 40 (which I got to see), Dana White's big mouth, Jens Pulver returning, the impact of Diaz vs. Shamrock, and a few other nuggets of MMA chocolate. Plus, two NSFW photos of a delightful young lady who is apparently a ring girl for several regional promotions. You can thank me later. Let's do this!

UFC 97 is on it's way!


FIGHT NIGHT 18/WEC 40: KAMPMANN BY A NOSE/TORRES SURVIVES
The WEC followed up Fight Night 18 with a solid show on Sunday, according to what I read! I DVR'd the show, but haven't had a chance to watch undercard just yet. I did watch the main event in its entirety, and I must say it's probably the match of the year so far (at least in the WEC). Miguel Torres was met by a tough opponent in Mizugaki, which Frank Mir could barely pronounce correctly during the fight. C'mon Frank! Pronunciation counts! Mizugaki took it to Torres for five rounds with an insane amount of strikes, most of which missed, but it seemed to catch Torres off guard. Torres answered back strong and survived what looked like a nasty forehead cut.

This fight did two things for my opinion of Miguel Torres. First, it showed that he is a true champion and still arguably one of the best pound for pound fighters in the world. He fought a guy ranked #5 in the world, and kept the fight standing virtually all five rounds, even though his ground game might've finished the fight. Mizugaki, of course, wanted NO part of Torres on the ground. Second, it made me think that any sort of ego or cockiness that Torres might've had concerning his abilities, were washed away when that fifth round rolled in. I think the reason Urijah Faber lost his title to Mike Brown several months back was due to a small feeling of invincibility. Once you're on top of the world for a certain amount of time, you're bound to feel untouchable. Hopefully, the fight with Mizugaki showed Miguel Torres that focus is the number one weapon a champion needs. Without focus, that belt is as good as gone.

So now the next challenge for Torres will be Brian Bowles, once he's healthy. Bowles likes to keep a furious pace, and as he saw from ringside on Sunday night, Torres can handle a fast pace. He can also handle that pace for five full rounds. If Miguel Torres can get past Brian Bowles, which will be no easy task, then the inevitable "super fight" talks will probably increase quickly. Urijah Faber is already talking about Miguel Torres, which again proves my point about focus. I know Urijah wants to be hip, and keep his fans excited and speculative. He should, however, not even entertain the question of another fight of any magnitude until he dethrones Mike Brown.

Heart of a champion! Mullet of a hillbilly.

Credit: MMAWeekly.com

DANA WHITE: NO CAMERAS PLEASE
You know how when you step in dog poop, and you look down at your shoe, and then you probably yell out some profanity. If you're out in a park or at the beach, people will look, see you holding your own foot, and realize what happened. They give you a free pass because we've all been there. Now if you step in dog poop, and you're inside a church (which would be ridiculous), and you yell out "God damn it!", you'll probably get those same looks, but people will be kind of pissed off at you. Then they'll politely ask you to leave.

That's sort of the pickle Dana White is in right now. For those unaware, Dana White released one of his infamous video blogs this past week and went OFF on Sherdog editor Loretta Hunt for one of her recent articles. She basically accused White and the UFC of being ridiculous for banning certain people from the backstage area at certain events. Well, our old pal Dana took exception to her article and went on a profanity laced tirade in front of a camera, put it on YouTube, and now the people at GLAAD are all upset. Dana then issued an apology on YouTube, and took down the original tirade.

So here's where things get silly. Now it appears that Dana will no longer be taking part in a new reality series about his life, titled "American Promoter". He'll also no longer be doing video blogs. I'm guessing this season of the Ultimate Fighter will be his last one in terms of multiple appearances. I'm sure they could EASILY get Mike Goldberg or Joe Rogan to fill in any hosting duties. If there were any problems in the house, Lorenzo Fertitta is more than capable of playing peacemaker. So Dana has basically stuck his foot in his mouth, and is paying for it. Frankly, what he said isn't anything you haven't heard in a locker room, at a frat party, or just chilling with your friends. We all use certain language in private settings that we wouldn't use in public. Dana has fortunately learned very quickly that when you head up a giant company that's constantly attracting mainstream media attention, YOU CAN'T MOUTH OFF WHENEVER YOU WANT. It's bad enough that there are still a bunch of states that haven't legalized MMA. It's bad enough that MMA fans are seen as a bunch of Affliction T-shirt wearing, hair gel abusing goombas that get into bar fights. We don't need to be labeled "homophobic" too.

Hopefully a year or two out of the spotlight will be good for Dana, and after this eventually blows over he can slowly return to his role as the face of the UFC. Until that time though, I hope this teaches other MMA promoters that the FIGHTERS should always be at the forefront of the organization. Promoters should be happy behind the scenes.

Check out my new web series, "The UnFamous Chris Show", where I go into more comedic detail about Dana's recent vlog problems.


ZUFFA NEWS BITS THAT DON'T INVOLVE PROFANITY
The tryouts for the next season of the Ultimate Fighter took place on Monday and three former NFL players were among the wannabes. I didn't see anywhere that former WWE superstar Bobby Lashley made an appearance. Late last week, Lashley made it known he was considering trying out for the show, but would make a final decision after discussing it with his management. With a paper thin heavyweight division right now, I don't see why Lashley wouldn't tryout for the show. He's constantly harping on the fact he wants to be considered a top guy when he enters the UFC fray. What better way to get the spotlight on yourself and face top competition? Lashley still has a long way to go to get to a championship level, and he's also already in his thirties. The window of opportunity on his MMA career is closing! Now I'm sure there will be more tryouts for the show, but I really think he needs to strongly consider giving it a go.

Jens Pulver will return to the cage for the WEC on June 7th as he takes on up and comer, Josh Grispi. Grispi is 2-0 in the WEC, with both wins coming in the first round. This does not bode well for Jens. After his last two crushing defeats at the hands of Urijah Faber and Leonard Garcia, I was pretty sure the end was near for Little Evil. After he showed up as a color commentator for the WEC, I was certain he was going to call it a day. NOPE! I'd have to say this could be his last hurrah. If Grispi gets by Pulver, consider it a Shamrock vs. Franklin moment, and put Grispi's name in the 145 title picture. If Jens wins, there may be gas left in the tank, but that tank might be inside a Ford Mustang from the mid 1980's.

Really hope this picture doesn't become a reality again.


At UFC 102, Chris Leben will return from his steroid suspension to face off with another former WEC fighter, Jake Rosholt. If Leben is off the juice and training to his potential, Rosholt is in for a world of hurt. I was thoroughly unimpressed with his one fight in the WEC, and he's coming off a loss in his UFC debut to Dan Miller. Just because a guy has an impressive amateur wrestling pedigree, doesn't mean he's ready for the MMA game, especially the UFC.

Well color me excited as I plan on attending UFC 101 in Philly, and the UFC has announced Amir Sadollah vs. Johny Hendricks for the show. Most of you have probably forgotten about Amir as injuries have plagued him since he won TUF 7. Hendricks is a welterweight from the WEC, and he was 2-0 there, so he's not too shabby. Sadollah hopes that his drop to welterweight will make for a healthier Amir, and so do I! I enjoy Amir's biting wit almost as much as I enjoy his fighting. Stay healthy buddy!

Also announced for UFC 101, Tamdan McCrory will face off with John Howard. Both are coming off of wins, and both are looking to climb the ranks in the welterweight division. I've grown very fond of "The Barncat" and this match-up should be exciting. That's all I got.

I don't fight often! Seriously, I don't fight often.


LAURA CELESTE: NOT RELATED TO ARIANNY?
A big thanks to the lovely lads at CagePotato.com for introducing fight fans to Laura Celeste. Laura is a ring girl for Ring of Combat, World Cage Fighting Alliance, and Asylum Fight League. Did I mention she's smoking hot? If the UFC is looking for a fourth girl to round out their stable of beauties, Laura looks as though she's up to the task. And by "up to the task", I mean she has large breasts. Enjoy!

Hot.


Hotter.


DIAZ VS. SHAMROCK: STRIKEFORCE'S FIRST BIG BOY SHOW
This Saturday in old Californey, Nick Diaz will step into the cage against Frank Shamrock under the banner of Strikeforce. From the ashes of EliteXC, comes a promotion with a big TV deal and a big time main event. Is this a good first step for Strikeforce? Is a catchweight bout between two big name fighters the way to re-introduce people to their brand of MMA? I think so.

For one thing, at least it's not Kimbo Slice at the top of the card. Now that that experiment has failed miserably, we can get back to a serious company trying to continue the expansion of MMA into the mainstream. Nick Diaz hasn't fought since July of 2008 when the fine folks at CBS helped catapult the Diaz name to a broader audience. Frank Shamrock hasn't fought since Cung Le broke his arm in March 2008. Most recently, Shamrock accompanied Mickey Rourke to Wrestlemania, and told anyone that would listen that Ken bladed to avoid the Slice fight.

So does a win benefit either fighter? A loss certainly hurts Shamrock's case for a rematch with Le, even though Le is barely a mixed martial artist these days. A loss for Diaz hurts his case for a shot at the welterweight crown, which is sort of held by Jake Shields. Wait. Is that title still legitimate? A win for Shamrock builds his legacy even further and strengthens his case to headline a future CBS show or a Pay-Per-View. A win for Diaz keeps his name in the limelight, even though there's no real time table for a championship match.

I believe this should be the first and last catchweight/big star main event that Strikeforce needs to put on. There's plenty of time down the road for super fights and big money match-ups with your top guys. People need to know that they're watching a solid promotion put on quality, top level fights with legit champions. The days of the Kimbo Circus over. Now is the time to show the world that your champions are as good as the champions in the UFC, Japan, or wherever (even though in some cases that may not be true, that's how marketing works.) Strikeforce needs to continue to build up Jake Shields, Josh Thomson, Cung Le (if he comes back from Hollywood), and to establish new stars as well. I have a feeling that Affliction might not be around past 2009, and they have a solid stable of fighters that could flourish in a properly managed company. My fingers are crossed for you, Strikeforce. Now don't blow it!

WELLLLL, look at you! You big, strong man!

Credit: MMAjunkie.com

END OF THE THIRD ROUND
That ends the latest rainbow brite edition of "The Verbal Submission". Remember to bookmark 411mania.com and make it your home page. If you don't, I'm pretty sure Csonka has a DeLorean, and he can make your life very difficult. VERY DIFFICULT.

The Empire Hardcore podcast has a new episode going up late Tuesday night (we recorded it on Sunday!), so look for that on iTunes or on Podomatic. Be sure to check out my new web series, which I posted earlier in this very column, on YouTube here. Twitter me with your big strong man hands here and on Myspace here. I'll be back next week to type words into TextEdit and then post them here at 411Mania.com. BYE!

Kick. Punch. It's all in the mind.

-CPR