The MMA Top Ten 07.23.09. Bloopers, Blunders and Complete Idiots

Posted by Brandon Longe on 07.23.2009

This week's MMA Top Ten takes a look at the lighter side of the sport. From Kalib Starnes running scared to accidental burps. From brain farts resulting in broken bones to animal urine. 411's Brandon Longe lists his favorite MMA bloopers.

This week I'm focusing on the lighter side of MMA. This is a list of ten stupid, moronic and idiotic blunders from the sport. There were plenty to consider. The criteria was basic, to make the list you have to have done something stupid that makes me laugh. As far as the ranking goes I've ranked the ten by which ones made me laugh the hardest. So here we go…





10. Brock's Beer Blunder

This whole Brock Lesnar thing has been beaten to death since UFC 100 so I won't get into too much. My take on the situation is that Brock was disrespectful to Mir when he rubbed his victory in his face after pulverizing it. The whole flipping off the fans thing was fine in my book. If Brock wants to play the bad guy than that's fine with me and that's a great way to do it. Where Brock really made his big blunder is when he took a shot at UFC sponsor Bud Light by saying he was going to go home and drink a coors light. Come on Brock, It's not you against the world here. Don't bite the hand that feeds you is my advice. Maybe Brock was a little amped when he talked smack to Mir's face, and maybe he was just trying to play the bad guy when he flipped off the fans, but what the hell was he thinking when he attacked a huge sponsor of the UFC? A sponsor the UFC fought long and hard to get. They say that humans have the largest brain mass to body mass ratio in mammals, maybe Brock's huge body, topped with a relatively small head, has something to do with this blunder.





9. You're about to see something you've never seen before…

This was certainly the birth of UFC bloopers, the first in a long line of commentary mishaps. Bill Wallace was only seconds into his introduction of UFC 1 when he had a little trouble getting out the name of the venue.





8. Canseco must be broke

I've never seen Jose Canseco look so small. I don't know how they got Canseco to sign-up to fight but they did. I'm pretty sure he pissed his pants when he found out about who he was fighting. God bless Japan for letting these lop-sided, David and Goliath matches commence. Yeah they are a little less entertaining than a good competitive bout, but you can't say they aren't entertaining. Jose Canseco is a complete idiot for taking this fight. I don't realize what exactly he expected to accomplish. The only explanation I can come up with is that Canseco must be broke.





7. Forgetting to tap

On December 10th the UFC held UFN 16: Fight for the Troops. UFC new-comer Steve Cantwell was facing Razak Hussan. I'm pretty sure Razak was explained the rules before fighting, but somehow it seems that it may have slipped his mind that when you are in a submission you may tap-out to end the fight. Whether it was a losing isn't an option mentality or a pride thing, it was one of the worst displays of brain prowess I've seen in the octagon. Every fighter knows... wait, scratch that. Anyone who knows anything about MMA knows that if you get caught in a solid armbar and your opponent starts cranking the shit out of your straightened arm only one of two things is going to happen. It's a tap or snap situation. Did Razak think it would be sweet to have his elbow bent backwards on national television? You've got to be kidding me! He is probably still in rehab for his exploded elbow but you have to admit, it's his own damn fault.





6. The most incredible victory in the history of Mixed-Martial Arts

I posted a vid of the entire match since it was pretty short. The dumbass in this entry is Gus Johnson. At 1:25 in the video is when the verbal defecation begins. Gus apparently was under the impression that Kimbo Slice was the greatest fighter in the world, and that Seth Petruzelli was some poor noob coming in to get crushed. Fact is that Seth had been training martial arts since 7 years old and had been through 13 MMA fights prior to the Kimbo fight. I think most serious MMA fans picked Seth to win this fight. I sure thought he was going to take Kimbo down and expose his ground game. When Gus Johnson exploded into his rant of, ROCKY! GREATEST BLAH BLAH!!!, my jaw hit the floor. Not much more I can say about this one except that Gus is a moron.



5. Mentally Challenged Referee

This clip is from a K-1 Hero's event. I searched long in hard to find out which event it was from but came up with nothing. I still wanted to include it on my list because it is truly one of the dumbest moments that I've witnessed in MMA. I'm not sure if this is a language barrier issue or if this ref is just mentally challenged. Enjoy.





4. Golden Gaff

On 10/21/06 Kevin Randleman fought Mauricio Rua at Pride 32. Unfortunately for Kevin he lost in the first round due to a kneebar. Even more unfortunate was the fact that Kevin failed a drug test after the bout. He didn't piss dirty for steroids or for illegal drugs. He failed the test because there were no human hormones in the urine. The urine had to come from an animal or a dead human. I really wish I could post a picture of Kevin obtaining urine from an animal or dead human but I couldn't seem to find one. You have to be a moron to think something like this would work. He had been taking antibiotics and painkillers that he had found out were on the list of banned substances and had to make a choice. He chose to use urine from an animal or dead human.






3. Running Scared

If you haven't seen the Nate Quarry-Kalib Starnes fight than you missed one of the worst performances in MMA history. In a nut shell, Kalib Starnes realized he was an inferior fighter in this match and decided he couldn't do anything but run, and try not to be knocked out. Some of Nate's antics were pretty fun to watch. It was obvious he was getting bored from chasing Starnes around. Oh, I almost forgot to mention that this was Kalib's last fight in the UFC.





2. Hello Japan

David Gardner is fighting Shinya Aoki at Dream 7 in Japan. Shinya Aoki, who is a top-notch submission master, manages to get back control on the American. David starts to get a little bored while defending the rear-naked choke. So I guess he decides to play the crowd a little. It turns out to be one of the most embarrassing things I've seen in a fight. Show-boating is fun, but it sure can back-fire. What an amateur idiot.





1.Kiss of Death

I'm sure everyone has seen this video before. It tops my list this week because it never gets old. Make sure you watch the whole thing so you can hear Heath's comments at the end, and see how long the guy is on the ground. It's really not appropriate to kiss your opponent before a fight, and I think Heath sent that message very clearly.


Thanks for reading this week and I hope you enjoyed my column. I'd love to hear your feedback and feel free to post your favorite bloopers in the comment section below. Now I'd like to include another MMA kiss. This kiss is performed by a very dominant and prominent fighter. He also lost the fight. So I don't think kissing at the stare down is a good idea for anyone.