411's MMA Soup 07.05.10: Brock-tastic

Posted by Todd Bergman on 07.05.2010

Brock Lesnar, UFC 116, Dana White, Scott Coker, and Fedor are just a few of the ingredients this week! Plus, Brendan Schaub is the Douche of the Week and Arianny battles Natasha Wicks in this week's Tap That!

In a world of ‘roided-out douche bags who wear tin foil t-shirts and have awful tattoos, I, Todd Bergman, have stepped forward to point out the comedy and un-funny moments of the week. The name of the column is horribly unoriginal and the attempts at humor will be ill-advised and often not funny. So don't take too much serious here and just sit back and enjoy the week that was MMA here on 411mania.com.

---

Monday

-Monday started with the same way that the weekend ended. Talk of Fedor's demise and how he is overrated and all of that crap. A dude loses once in 10 years and it's the end of his career. Good thing that people didn't write Brock Lesnar off after losing his second career fight.

-Fresh off of his submission defeat of Fedor, Fabricio Werdum stated that he would rematch Fedor in Russia in 6-8 months if Strikeforce or M-1 approved.

"I want to fight against Fedor from 6 to 8 months from now in Russia, Rocky Balboa style. I believe that the crowd will be with him, bur people will respect me and I'll bring my guys. I'm sure that the Brazilians can make much more noise than a million of Russians. It's hard for anyone to believe on a guy who's getting in there as the underdog against a guy who's considered as the best of the world, and now I want to send a big hug for those who cheered for me and for those who didn't believes in me so that they understand that you can never underestimate someone."

The analogy of Werdum being Rocky is a big fail here. Rocky was American and if he were Brazilian then Rocky would be pronounced "Hocky" and that would be another sport or at least a version of spit that dominated porn now.

-The UFC announced that at UFC 120 in London, Dan Hardy will take on Carlos Condit. If you follow my articles at all then you know that Condit talked a lot of shit about Chris Lytle and wanting to fight Lytle in Indy at UFC 119. I understand that Lytle still has to compete this weekend but I truly think that after having his ass handed to him on a daily basis while training with Lytle months ago, Condit and his weird nipples opted out. I'm not sure that Dan Hardy is exactly the best choice but Condit might have success on the ground. Let's hope that Condit keeps up with Jackson's Training instead of doing RNC on his Mom in their basement like he did in his WEC days.

-Coming off the brutal fist to face raping that Chris Leben gave to Aaron Simpson, "The Crippler" recently stated that he thinks Akiyama will be an easier opponent then Simpson. I'm not sure about the logic of the statement but I know that if rumors are true, Akiyama will be all for the Leben crotch grab that Aaron Simpson hated.




Monday 411 Links

MMA 3R‘s played on the concept of R's. Sadly no pirate references were made.

MMA SOUP had the usual boobs and nonsense. There was also some political hate that a man named "Tim" was offended by.

---

Tuesday

-Word got out that the state of New York was pulling MMA sanctioning from an upcoming budget bill. I truly get tired of hearing MMA columnist say that the sport needs to be legalized because it will bring a ton of money to the state. I HATE that columnist are using this reason for the bill being passed. The bill legalizing MMA should be passed based on acceptance of the sport not because it will bring a couple of bucks to a shit-hole city. So for the time being, the only MMA that you will see going on in New York is two bums fighting over a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon.



Where‘s Kimbo?

-Following the absolutely brutal KO of Rosi Sexton, Zolia Frausto took time to take a nice little picture of herself. Zolia didn't make the Tap That Tournament but there's always Season 2 kids.



-The UFC added another Dong as they added standout South Korean Middleweight Dong-Yi Yang. I've got to be honest and say that I've never heard of this dude but I've been told that Dustin James loves him. It should be noted that Dustin is a huge fan of dong (HI-YO!).

-Shane Carwin continued on his no charisma bad pun tour.

"Beating Brock does not make you Brock. I will still need to insult most of the fighters in my division, flip off the fans, insult the biggest sponsors the UFC has and then and only then will I renegotiate with Zuffa. Dana and Lorenzo have taken good care of my family and I. They have given us more than they are obligated to and we are happy. My manager always says it is not about making money when you fight but to make money when you are not fighting. We really do not have our hands out for anything more – if it comes we will take it and smile. I love fighting for the UFC and for me I choose to do this, I do not have to fight to survive. I am honored to be working for the UFC and representing them in the 'fake' champions category."

Man, I really hope that Lesnar smashes this dude because I can't take his "fake" company man approach. If Carwin does win, I'm sure that he's going to have a major problem making less then the challengers to his title. Maybe then the "real" Shane Carwin will come out and this crap will blow over.


Tuesday 411 Links

411 Lightweight Rankings went live and I didn't vote again. Sorry everybody but still playing Red Dead Redemption. Damn cougars keep killing me, which is not cool.

"Cowboy" Bill Wannop broke down the legacy of Shane Carwin. Yeah, KO'ing all but two bums is most certainly a legacy.

Plunkett called Fedor fat & it should be noted that Plunkett is a legendary chubby chaser.

---

Wednesday

-Continuing on the piling of Fedor, Dana White said that Fedor doesn't deserve to be in the UFC.

"Nope. Now I don't have to hear about him anymore. I like it.... He has star power? Nobody cares. Do you realize this is something that's been created by the mixed martial arts media? Do you know how many people watched his fight the other night? 400,000 people watched it. The guy has absolutely no star power. They sold no tickets to that fight, either.... Here's the problem, the guy loses and gets to fight one of these guys? I've been saying for years this guy isn't all that. He's not great. Everybody's talking about how great this guy is, no he's not. Now he should deserve to come into the UFC and fight the best? No way!... The guys who fight in the UFC are fighting the very best three times a year. This guy hasn't fought anybody since 2005. The media created him and hyped him up. Not me. What do you want me to say? This is what I've been saying?"

I'm pretty sure that Fedor could beat 98% of the UFC's Heavyweights including the likes of Brendan Schaub, Joey Beltran, and Jon Madsen just to name a few. Maybe Fedor won't be able to hang with Lesnar, Carwin, JDS, or Cain but Dana needs to be a little more logical here. Also, don't blame Fedor for Strikeforce's lack of marketing and understanding of the business side of MMA. Everything else was spot on however.

-Brock Lesnar brought some logic to the Fedor situation.

"It was disappointing. I hate to see a guy like that. Whether his legacy was more of a mystique than it was, he stood up and he was respectful and it was tough to see. It reminded me of my first fight against Frank [Mir] when I got really anxious and fell right into the trap. That's a tough pill to swallow. That's a big pill to swallow and I definitely do not want to try to swallow that pill again. I feel bad for him. I don't think any less of him. We're human beings and we all make mistakes and it's whether or not we can get up and better ourselves. That's what true champions are made of, I believe."

Leave it to the guy who gets hated on just a slight bit less then Fedor himself to make sense of all the stupid shit that every meathead has said the last couple of days. I guess Dana and everyone forgot that Brock lost in his 2 career fight and mistakes happen.

-In something that I love to see happen more often. Fighters gave their predictions for the upcoming UFC event. I don't that many of you who read this fine article, actually remember when the UFC use to do this on their shows. That would be pre TUF days for the most part. I think that the UFC stopped doing this when that Phillips girl was promoting Hostel 2 and way beyond coked out of her mind and predicted "hehe, I don't know, Chuck, hehe."




Wednesday 411 Links

Fact or Fiction featured myself beating the hell out of Dustin James. To be honest, Dustin's answers were actually a lot longer then mine but they weren't better. Anyway, I pissed off the MMA community for picking Lesnar in the fight. I must be some sort of WWE reject because I don't buy into the Carwin hype.

King Solomon put bros before hoes.

---

Thursday

-Thursday started out with a bang and a big bang at that with Strikeforce releasing their Middleweight Champion Jake Shields. I can't imagine the reasoning behind this? Was this an attempt to make Strikeforce seem on the same level as the UFC? Let me assure you that no one thinks that way and this just keeps everyone questioning the people actually running Strikeforce. I've got a great idea, let's not pay one of the best fighters on the planet what he wants, but we will try to go out and sign a roided up 40 year old former pro wrestler. EPIC stuff there.


No Soup For You!

-Cain Velasquez was announced as the #1 Contender in waiting by Dana White. I get that Cain beat down Big Nog but I would still like to see Cain fight JDS before gaining a title shot. I think that the whole reason for Cain getting the #1 Contender spot is because Dana wants the Mexican market and his former ticket Roger Huerta is now fighting in the D-Leagues while making B-movies. Brock vs. Cain at UFC 130 in Mexico City. I can only hope that Paco Smith can give me the exclusive from Mexico.

-Dana White said some really stupid things here.

"Here we go. Alistair Overeem is gonna be the new guy? Alistsair Overeem got knocked out by Chuck Liddell at 205. You know what's funny? Because we don't have him signed he'll be the new guy. The guy that Chuck knocked out at 205. All the UFC haters will be like, ‘oh yeah, this guy is the best.' And all the idiot websites will rank him the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world."

Anyone remember when Dana tried to sign "the new guy" back at the UFC event in Dublin? Just another fine walking contradiction from Dana White. I haven't witnessed any idiot website rank him atop any pound-for-pound list but then again, I haven't checked out Sherdog lately.

-"King" Mo was announced for the upcoming August 21st Strikeforce card. I will be missing this card because I'm positive something better will be on.


This is greater then anything Strikeforce could produce

-Thursday was also "Canada Day" in America's Hat. I appreciate everything that you've done for MMA Canada. I would also like to note that you also gave all of us Americans, Trish Stratus as well. So from me to all of you, thanks!

Thursday 411 Links

"The Professor" Samer Kadi talked about an Emperor being dethroned. Thousands of MMA fans were confused on why Samer was writing about an Emperor taking a dump.

---

Friday

-Scott Coker came out and said that he thinks that Fedor should get the next shot at Alistair Overeem instead of the guy who just submitted Fedor, in Fabricio Werdum. I believe that this follows the general logic of Strikeforce. Lambert & I are still waiting on Strikeforce to get back to us on the idea of running their marketing department.



-The UFC 116 weigh ins took place and for the most part, it was dudes in their underwear with a lot of people taking creepy pictures of them. I've been to numerous weigh ins and generally, it's a bunch of dudes waiting to make fists in pictures with the fighters. Everyone should just learn from me and just point and smile at the famous person. I say this until, I actually see Akiyama and start losing my mind.



-Kurt Pellegrino called George Sotiropoulos a cheater because of George's fighting outfits that he wears. Who gives a shit really, you know? Leggings or not, Kurt should just worry about winning the fight and less about being a fashion designer.

-Frank Mir tweeted about his intentions to stay at Heavyweight and go after Brock Lesnar instead of dropping to Light Heavyweight. Listen, I'm all for the rubber match here but Mir is going to get railed in this fight. I highly doubt that Mir could beat Velasquez, JDS, or even Roy Nelson for that matter. So, I'm not sure how Lesnar fights Mir again but it's got too much money riding on it for it not to happen again.

Friday 411 Links

411‘s "Living Legend" Dustin James produced the Top 10 MMA Upsets of All Time. Dustin forgot some but given the beating that I gave him in FOF, this was the best that he could do.

Matt Welch kissed a girl and he liked it.

---

The Weekend

-Of course the talk of the weekend, was the Brock Lesnar/Shane Carwin fight. Basically, Carwin stunned Brock with strikes early but ultimately tired out and Brock got the submission from there. It's also funny that the entire MMA community secretly loves Lesnar but just won't admit it. I was pretty slow to come around but I think that he's great for the sport. He was super humble post fight and showed the heart of a true warrior during the bout. What more do you want from him? People use to hate Chris Leben but he gets all the love after his recent showing, so why not Brock? Sure, he use to be a pro wrestler but so did Sakuraba and you all love him. I begging for someone to give me a logical reason to dislike Brock and think that he is still bad for the sport.


BROCK JITSU!!

---

Douche of the week

This really wasn't a hard choice for me. I tweeted about this the minute that it happened and for once, people agreed with me. The choice this week is Brendan Schaub and his weak ass post fight antics. I get that Schaub was excited for his finish over a severely overmatched opponent. However, Schaub showed his true colors by being a supreme douche and doing some lame ass brush off the haters pose in the face of his finished opponent. Remember when James Irvin was supremely hated on by everyone for doing that stupid gun thing on Houston Alexander? I truly hope that Schaub gets a legit fighter the next time out and that he gets KO'ed much like did against Roy Nelson. Imagine if Nelson would've acted the same way that Schaub had post fight. The interwebz would've exploded with fat dude hate.

---

Bruno wonders: Where can I get that Chuck Norris game? Oh, and Amber Nicole Miller please.

I hear that Gamestop sells the game but the smell of the people inside the store will probably keep you out of there.

Tim goes into psycho mode: that was amazingly stupid. the part about legalizing mma and rich politicians could possibly be the most uninformed, ignorant, and laughable writing that i have ever read. just as an FYI, we do have a representative government which means the politicians (or licensing agencies) do actually get to decide whether to sanction mma. i just glanced at the constitution and it didnt say anything about a right to decide what is right for you and your kid or whatever nonsense you were trying to say.

I actually appreciate the comment and I mean that. The problem that I have with your statement is that you list that we have a representative but state that politicians do what they want. Actually if they are representatives they represent the people that elect them. So therefore, they do what the people of their delegations want as that's why they were elected. It appears that you work for the Government as I make the Government work for me. Also, if you could provide pictures for whatever you want, I would appreciate it.

T-Bag Fan Club El Prezidente does what he wants: blah.....blah......blah
great read as usual Bergman, Amber Nicole Miller by a small margin over Kim
also, what is your prediction for Sonnen/Silva?? - Winner/Round/Method

I really love what Chael Sonnen is saying and doing leading into this fight but I really like Anderson Silva to TKO Sonnen in the 2nd Round. Thanks for the comment and lets build this fan club thing.

---

Tap That

Last week, Amber Nicole Miller won the special Wild Card Round invite. This week is the first round of the Tap That Tourney. It's Arianny vs. Natasha Wicks. The rules are actually a little different for the tourney as it's a two week competition instead of just one week. The two week format should actually get more votes calculated for the ladies and give more people a chance to vote. You know the drill by now but if your still new to this then please add a comment below with who you think should win.

---

Thanks for checking out the article everyone. In an attempt to gain more readers, I'm allowing all of you to ask me random questions or legit questions about MMA that you may have. It‘s okay to ask some MMA related questions that you may not understand. I will even offer to search out MMA fighters if you have questions for them. Just keep them coming. Remember to support your local MMA and keep your tapping hand strong.