The MMA 5 & 1 12.14.11: The 'Horse Meat For Dinner' Edition
Posted by Stewart Lange on 12.14.2011
Edith Labelle is your "& 1" Model of the week, Chuck Liddell takes on Bas Rutten in Vs, Miguel Torres gets fired over a poorly thought-out Tweet, Brittany Palmer is headed to Playboy, Alistair Overeem threatens to beat Brock back to the WWE and more!
Hello and welcome to another installment of the MMA 5 & 1! You know, some weeks, very little goes on in the world of MMA and it's a bit of a struggle to fill the quota for words, which obviously, wasn't a problem when this column was just the Wednesday Superfight. This past week, however, has seen a metric crap-ton of news worthy for one of the hallowed "Five" places, so in the true spirit of the column, I'll take a look at what's been going on, through my "&1 tinted" glasses. Right then? Let's get on with it!
If you don't read the games zone here on 411, I suggest you start. I've just rebooted the Fact or Fiction column on the site, hopefully making it a lot more exciting for you guys. It'll be over on the Games page now.
Feel free to suggest a more suitable image, by the way.
Another sad lack of comments last week. Where are all the usual suspects? Wylun, I'm disappointed in you! MPMoore? Beerslayer? Get the comments in, everyone!
I did it!!! Wow I have never been on here before but it's a little brilliant! nice pics
Posted By: Guest#0543 (Guest) on December 07, 2011 at 05:52 PM
I'm not quite sure what you "did", but congratulations on that anyway! Always glad to have a first-time reader, so I'm pleased you enjoyed it. Hopefully, you're back this week so remember and stop by and say hello!
There needs to be a Chael Sonnen 'How To Piss Off MMA Fighters, Ring Girls and Entire South American Countries' book
Posted By: bossmew (Guest) on December 07, 2011 at 05:07 PM
Next years Christmas top seller. Especially when he tries to argue that Silva didn't whoop his ass twice by that point.
"Yes, the same Keith Jardine that was cut unceremoniously from the UFC"
What was unceremonious about it? If ever there was a justified cut, Jardine was it.
Posted By: Todd (Guest) on December 07, 2011 at 10:10 AM
Yeah, fair enough. Surely, though, that just completely reinforces the point I made along with it?
Rutten is going to win the superfight thing with his biggest win being Randleman
Posted By: Guest#5446 (Guest) on December 07, 2011 at 05:57 AM
If you aren't happy with Bas winning it all, then make sure and vote for Liddell! Speaking of which......
This week:
The second Superfight Grand Prix comes to a close, with "The Iceman", Chuck Liddell taking on "El Guapo" Bas Rutten in a fight I'm sure many would love to have been able to see. But who will win? Who is going to join Anderson Silva in the Versus Banner? Who is going to make up the next Grand Prix table? Vote below and make the suggestions below!
Who wins? It's entirely up to YOU!
Don't read ANY further until you've voted!!!
Missing out this week:
GSP out of Nick Diaz Fight- He must be scared, Homie.
Rousimar Palhares sees Sport Shrink- Good for him, to be honest.
UFC adds 125lb Division- The UFC starts a kids division. Wait, what? 125Lb adults?
Greg Jacksons Words of Wisdom- Get some fans, Bones.
UFC 140 Aftermath!
Who is going to stop "Bones"?
Well, it would seem we are witnessing the reign of one of the most dominant champions in UFC history. Like him or not, Jon Jones was able to get past Lyoto Machida on Saturday night in a fight that while many of us predicted he would win, few of us expected him to take in such a manner. Lyoto clearly had the Champ sussed, as (despite what two mental judges thought) I had him taking the first round from "Bones", even stunning him with a few decent shots. Jones rallied in the second round and mounted a surprisingly inactive Machida. The guillotine that he sealed on "The Dragon" for the win was totally sick and I have no doubt that the image of Machida crumpling to the ground will be as iconic to Jones as the Rashad knockout was for Lyoto during his reign.
We also saw what could (at time of writing) be the final fights in the careers of two legends, Tito Ortiz and Big Nog. They both lost in spectacular fashion, with Ortiz looking like he was in tears of pain after his defeat, ironically to Little Nog. It's the second time in as many fights Ortiz has been finished by body shots and while he claims to want to have one more fight, his abdomen will no doubt have a massive target on it. The heavier Nogueira was submitted in a battle with old rival Frank Mir, with his arm visibly dislocating under the pressure of the kimura Mir locked on him. While it could be argued that Nog was fighting on borrowed time after knocking out Brendan Schaub in Rio, it does show how tough/stupid he is, refusing to tap out until his arm gave up on him.
I can't really justify spending much time talking about Chan Jung Sung smashing through Mark Hominick, but it was crazy. I think Hominick was going for the Bruce Campbell approach to Zombie killing, but left his guard down and paid dearly for it, as Jung is now tied for the (official) fastest knockout in UFC history.
Brian Ebersole also won on this card. Still, nobody cares.
Finish Of The Week
I could never get bored of this. Classic.
Everyone Likes Surprises
SURPRISE! YOU'RE FIRED!
Despite the fact I was able to make a Faith No More reference below my image, this is a pretty serious matter. As you will no doubt be aware, Miguel Torres was released from the UFC following this remark on Twitter.
"If a rape van was called a surprise van, more women wouldn't mind going for rides in them. Everyone like surprises."
While there is a lot being said about the inconsistency of the UFC in light of similar remarks made by Forrest Griffin and Rashad Evans. While Griffins remarks were misconstrued due to the fact they were limited to 160 characters, Rashad's joke about Penn State was pretty damned stupid. You all know all this, you all have your own view on it and no doubt, you'll have read a lot more opinion pieces on it than this one, but it comes down to a further point. Twitter and Facebook are public forums and let's be honest, all of us have sent something stupid on one of them. Whether it's a message to an ex, photographs from a night out when you phoned in sick to work the next day, or just randomly offensive crap, we've all been guilty of misusing the social networks. The reality of this day and age however, is that you can't really get away with it anymore. Everyone and their mom has a Facebook or at least knows someone that does. We have to watch who we're upsetting. Do I swear on Twitter? Sure. Am I rude on Facebook? Probably. But I wouldn't say anything racist, or intentionally offensive to anybody.
The UFC have created a double edge sword here, in that they created a bonus system for the use of the social networks, so all of a sudden, fighters can't afford NOT to have a Twitter account. Those who were active and established suddenly upped their game, firing out continual Tweets about everything from the weather to their lunch. In this competition to prove "funniest" however, we've seen people take things to far and this must just be the straw that broke Dana Whites back. It's a shame for Torres, but he's a big name and I'm sure he'll do fine for himself elsewhere. Just remember, think about what you're writing before you hit that "post" button!
Some stories require very few words. This is one of them. When it was announced Brittney Palmer, the 5 & 1's second favourite Brittney, would be posing for Playboy early next year, you had to all know that the news was destined for this column.
I'll actually save you the words, and just give you a quote from her biggest fan, Jeremy Lambert from fiveouncesofpain.com:
"" I took her far. I made her a star. Now my dick approves. Of Brittney Palmer's naked boobs."
Just beautiful.
Douche Of The Week
Dennis Hallman
In a new feature I've shamelessly stolen from Tony Acero (check out his Low End Theory in the music zone. If you're a hip-hop fan, it's essential. I'm not and still read it every week) and Alex Watt, I'll look at who has been, in my eyes, the biggest douche of the last week.
This week, we saw both Miguel Torres and Rashad Evans make decent attempts at being the first DOTW, but instead, we get Dennis Hallman.
Having narrowly avoided being fired by the UFC for wearing "those" trunks, he decided the best move after that would be to make a ridiculous weight cut and come into his UFC 140 fight overweight. Luckily for him, he put on a dominant display, but really, if he'd lost, he'd be gone.
Beat Him Back to the WWE
There goes the pain?
In a statement on his blog, Alistair Overeem claimed that he was going to beat Brock Lesnar "back to the WWE. While it makes for a pretty good sound bite to build the fight, the run up to this fight has not been lacking in controversy. Just a few weeks ago, Alastair traveled back to the Netherlands to be with his unwell mother, but as a result did not make a drug test. No big deal really, except for the fact that everyone and their mother has at one point or another linked the 'Reem to the 'Roids.
In a deadline buster for this column, Alastair was granted license to compete at UFC 141 under seriously stringent terms- he has to fulfill FOUR drug tests. Now, my understanding is the trip to Holland was never the issue, as Overeem had booked the flight and legitimately didn't know about the original test, so when he found out he actually booked himself into a doctor to get a test done. All credit to him, the results were clean and he's done the right thing here. He has to provide another sample before the fight, followed by two more in the following six months. While this is pretty hardcore and not the norm, Overeem and his camp have agreed to these terms and the fight, at this very moment, will go ahead. Hopefully all works out and win or lose, we'll see continue to see a clean Reem in the UFC.
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War Comes to Bellator
She's relevant because of War Machine, stoopid!
Since signing their new TV deal with Viacom, Bellator have been signing up some recognisable ex-UFC names into the company, adding some much needed depth and fan interest. Arguably the most interesting signing of the recent spree is the "fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver", War Machine. Despite a little bit of jail time and a brief foray into adult movies (hence the picture of Riley Steele above these words), he is a pretty well known fighter after his stint on the Ultimate Fighter, his bloody battle with Jared Rollins and his assault conviction. Since getting out of prison in July, he fought and defeated Roger Huerta and will now test his mettle against potentially Ben Saunders, Chris Lozano and the rest of the Bellator 170 pound division.
The signing of new fighters is a great move by Bellator, as they look to make the move to become the second biggest MMA company above the slowly emptying Strikeforce. Hopefully though, they know what they're letting themselves into with such a polarizing figure as Mr. Machine (that's what his bank card says), because I've got to be honest, the Over/Under on him being voted a future Douche of The Week isn't favourable for him.
This week, we'll take a bit of a step back in time for the one and only Edith Labelle!
The Post-Fight Press Conference
That's it for another week here in the 5 & 1, so I hope you enjoyed the column! Please, leave a comment below and be sure to check some of the other amazing work here on the 411.
"While it could be argued that Nog was fighting on borrowed time after knocking out Brendan Schaub in Rio, it does show how tough/stupid he is, refusing to tap out until his arm gave up on him."
Contrary to what Dana White (0-0 - couldn't resist) said during the press conference after the event that "a BJJ master should know that if you don't tap to a kimura, you get your arm broken", the grandfather of BJJ Helio Gracie himself, DID NOT actually know that. And neither did Royler Gracie, an ADCC gold medalist and multiple time world champion (though the ref saved him in time). So it stands to reason that Big Nog was just continuing the tradition and/or the spirit of BJJ.
Posted By: JK (Guest) on December 13, 2011 at 11:27 PM
Bas wins the superfight via leg kicks. If Jardine was able to consistently land leg kicks, you bet your ass Bas would. And Bas has/had some of the hardest kicks in the sport, when combined with his overall striking prowess I think he picks Liddell apart and takes the decision.
Posted By: Robert Winfree (Registered) on December 13, 2011 at 11:46 PM
I miss Edith and her luscious boobs jiggling around the octagon.
BigNog WAS the best BJJ HW until this lost. It was definitive and clear that FMir is the superior fighter having won the 1st fight via KTFO then by extreme submission "...of the century..." BigNog knew he was locked up, let his PRIDE get in the way and ended up with a broken arm that was ripped out of his shoulder. Not very smart since that kind of injury is career threatening.
Posted By: TheR (Guest) on December 14, 2011 at 01:42 AM
So happy Torres got fired. He's an asshole and a shit fighter. His fight against Antonio Banuelous was a joke, he had a giant reach advantage and did nothing. Like watching A. Silva vs Laittes.
Posted By: Ryan Haseldine (Guest) on December 14, 2011 at 05:53 AM
You were right, it did make him challenging for the MW title in Strikeforce look even more ridiculous.
My bet is Torres will be back within the UFC by the end of 2012.
Posted By: Todd Vote (Guest) on December 14, 2011 at 10:32 AM
I think I could like this site and column. For something that didn't interest me before I look forward to reading now. Pics are a highlight mind.
Posted By: Guest#5168 (Guest) on December 14, 2011 at 03:39 PM
Good column again mate, controversially chose Chuck over Bas! Bet it's a close one though!!!!
Posted By: @Kevokay (Guest) on December 14, 2011 at 04:47 PM
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