The MMA 5 & 1 01.11.12: The Postive Outlook Edition

Posted by Stewart Lange on 01.11.2012

Bellator girl Jade Bryce is your "& 1" Model of the Week, Brock Lesnar takes on BJ Penn in Vs, a look at Cyborg failing a drug test, CM Punk cornering Chael Sonnen, the results from Strikeforce's show and more!

It's Wednesday so that can only mean one thing...... It's time for your favorite MMA 5 & 1! I hope you've all had a great week, I'm trying hard to keep a positive view of things in 2012, despite the fact that the car I bought needed work done so I had to delay picking it up by almost a week. I'm pretty pissed at the delay, but the good news is that it's getting the work paid for by the garage coin, not mine, so it's pretty good in the long run. See, it's all-good when you look at it the right way.


Does this positive mental attitude work when confronted by a slow news week and a lack-luster Strikeforce card? Let's get cracking with the HAPPIEST 5 & 1 OF ALL TIME, shall we? Yeah. Let's do that.

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It's the Evan Rachel Wood mailbag!!

Jacare had a submission match against Randy Couture in Los Angeles a few years back. If he wasn't able to submit Couture there is no way Royce would be able to. Since that is the only Royce could win, Randy gets my vote.
Posted By: rubenberendo (Guest) on January 04, 2012 at 01:05 AM

I really miss getting comments like this. Please, if you have views on a particular weeks Superfight, let me know! I always love reading stuff like this so please don't be shy in sharing your opinions!

"I don't think there is much more that he can start and give up on, since wrestling, the NFL and MMA are out the window. Maybe soccer next?"

Someone else agrees with me. Sucked in the NFL (lack of experience), quit MMA early because he wasn't winning like he wanted to, and didn't like WWE because of the schedule and wear and tear. When the going gets tough...well Brock quits.

It's not Miguel Torres who should get the Douche of the Week it should be Dana White for firing him in the first place. Then again Dana wins on a regular basis in my book.
Posted By: MadLib (Guest) on January 04, 2012 at 10:43 AM

Yeah man, Dana pretty much finds himself ineligible for the Douche of the Week award via a "loophole."

With regards to the Brock Lesnar thing, I don't have anything against the guy, or even what he achieved in MMA. I just wish we could see the side of his character that accepts losing. I know certain people struggle with it, take Matt Hughes as an example, but surely you find greater glory in victory having tasted defeat?

There was nothing hypocritical about Torres being reinstated. The incident was embarrassing and humiliating the way it came out. Torres performed his mea culpas and was brought back in. Simple as that.
Posted By: Jeffrey (Registered) on January 04, 2012 at 09:34 PM

Stewart we missed you on the show, but you're dead on with the hypocritical nature of the Miguel Torres situation.
Posted By: Patrick Mullen (Registered) on January 04, 2012 at 11:02 PM

So, it looks like I split the staff on the Torres situation. Having thought about it even more, I couldn't care less he's been reinstated as no doubt Uncle Dana will bury him on a UFC on FX undercard anyway.

It's a WIN WIN SITUATION, FOLKS!

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Here we go with the first Grand Prix of 2012! For those of you unfamiliar with the concept, we throw weight and age out the window to see who you think would win a battle for the ages! So without hanging around, let's get to the first fight of the biggest Grand Prix ever!


Brock Vs. BJ. I know what you're thinking, but this was the only mismatch in the table




Please, don't berate me for this mad open-weight match up. Hopefully, it's the only one I have in this tournament. Just vote based on skill-set. Brock in 2009, BJ in 2006 BTW.

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Missing out this week:

• Gina's movie- Who cares?


• Sean Sherk returning- I'm struggling to write 10 words, let alone a couple of hundred


• Overeem pisses clean- He's literally just a beast- no 'roids included.

Sigh..........Strikeforce


Blink and you'll.......fall asleep

Well, I knew I was worried about this Strikeforce card for a reason. Initially, I suspected that Keith Jardine was going to win the Middleweight title. That would have been pretty horrible in itself, but instead we just had a pretty stinking MMA card.

We got two knockout wins for Luke Rockhold and Mohammad Lawal, a much needed knockout win for Robbie Lawler and a "performance of the year" award from Tyron Woodley. Seriously, this guy bores the piss out of my piss. Shit, I said I'd be positive at the top didn't I? Ok- positive......let's see...... At least we won't see Woodley take on Jon Fitch any time soon. I think time would start going backwards.

One judge scoring the Saffiedine fight in favor of Tyler Stinson mad me chuckle as well. I know, I know, Strikeforce can't pick the judges and bad decisions are just as likely to be made on UFC or Bellator cards, but damn, it just gave the night an extra special "minor leagues" feeling. I hope that isn't being harsh. If it is, then you are the ONE person that enjoyed Saturday's card.

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Finish Of The Week

Is this not one of the coolest things ever?

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What's Scarier Than a Cyborg on Steroids?


That's a handsome woman......

In news I can't decide I'm shocked by or not, Strikeforce Women's 145lb Champion Cristiane "Cyborg" Santos failed a drug test last week, testing positive for steroids. While this seems to be her first dirty test, I can't say I'm shocked but to me, it's a "chicken and egg" argument. Was she always a total beast (I mean that not as a slight on her looks or femininity) but took the drugs to stay on top, or did she always take the drugs but successfully filter them?

It's a horrible situation for the women's division though, as instead of them now suddenly having a vacant title belt, Dana White is now talking about losing the 145lb division all together. Hopefully this doesn't happen, but I don't think White really needed any more excuses to start binning the WMMA divisions as we all know his stance on the female fight game.

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The 411 MMA Podcast

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Fight Announcements Galore


Whoever he is, he's a lucky man

We have a hell of a lot of fight announcements this week, so in a one-off, I'm going to quickly have a look at some of them and give my predictions!

Miesha Tate Vs Ronda Rousey- This is easily the best looking match-up here, but enough about the contestants. I actually think I favor Rousey here. The youngster has incredible grappling skills and while Tate will be the biggest match-up of her career thus far, it could be her biggest win soon enough, too.

Paul Daley Vs Kazuo Misaki- Daley Smash! Paul Daley is a douche, but he's got incredible power in his hands. If he makes weight for this, I'll be on his side but I think he's going to ugly up Misaki quite substantially.

Siyar Bahadurzada Vs Paulo Thiago- Finally, we get the debut of "The Killer" in the Octagon, but Thiago is a stern test. While this is a baptism of fire for Siyar, expect him to impress, albeit on route to a decision loss.

Jonathan Brookins Vs Vagner Rocha- I can't help but feel like Brookins needs to win here. He's had a lot of problems since his TUF win, but I think he'll be able to make Rocha say "uncle," or we'll see him over in Bellator.

Mac Danzig Vs Efrain Escudero- These are two guys I enjoy watching, more so Danzig so favor him here, but really, this is either mans fight to win.

Papi Abedi Vs James Head- How Abedi wasn't up for "Entrance of the Year," I'll never know. I actually thought what we briefly saw of him against Thiago Alves looked ok, so this will be the bigger opportunity to impress.

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Douche Of The Week


Here we have a picture of total scum, people.

Hermes Franca is a total moron. If you want to know what he's been charged with, look it up. I don't want to sully my column with the words. I don't actually find anything more despicable than what he's been charged with, so I hope he rots. If you disagree, I hope you do too.

Enjoy jail, fuck-wad.

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The Outlaw Versus the Saint


He's better at Tweeting than Wrestling!

Over the course of a week, you see a lot of interesting things on the internet. Women with seventeen children, small children having an adult conversation(in gibberish), cat's playing keyboards (what?) and arrows in knees, but this week what caught my eye was the always vocal Dan Hardy having a pop or three at Matt Hughes and his beliefs on hunting. Now, Hughes, a devout Christian was defending his view that God wants animals killed, but Hardy was pretty sure that if this was true, it would be for food, not for sport.

Now, I'm not wanting to get all deep and philosophical here, as I'm sure you could give a damn on my religious views, since I'm pretty sure you barely give a rats ass about my MMA views, but I don't believe in God. I grew up in a Christian family, I have religious friends and completely respect the choice of the individual but it's not for me. Fair enough. What I don't like is when a relatively stupid argument descends into a public battering of Faith, or somebody using their perceived faith as a weapon. I don't know about God, but I'm sure that'd piss him off. I may be wrong, we'll never know.

Back to MMA. I think that if Matt Hughes is to have one more fight in the UFC, why not make it against Dan Hardy? My views on religion may suck but I don't think that idea does. It'd be a great fight for either man to win, it has an interesting story built in and both of the competitors MMA/UFC careers would be on the line. I don't think I'm being stupid when I say this fight would interest me.

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Twitter Break!!

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Ring of Sonnen


Does this make Sonnen the c**t of personality? Sorry, sorry. Couldn't resist.

For the record, I don't think Sonnen is a c**t. I actually hate that word. It just fits well into Cult of Personality. ANYWAY- it was announced this week, in one of the stranger articles I've read for a while anyway, that WWE star- you may have heard of him- CM Punk will be cornering Chael Sonnen in his UFC on Fox fight against Mark Munoz. I find it pretty nuts, to be honest but Punk is known as a fight fan so why not? Just as long as Sonnen isn't sacrificing an actual USEFUL corner-man for the sake of a few internet hits and a couple of fanboys getting all excited.

The UFC and WWE have been very quick to point out this has at no point been set up between the two companies and is entirely the work of the two individuals. Now, I have no idea how the two met, but no doubt it was probably at a bar, where Punk drunkenly agreed to help out his new pal Chael. I KID. (Note- I haven't watched wrestling properly in almost 3 years. Is CM Punk still "straight edge"? If so, then above was a clever in-joke. If he isn't, then that's probably what actually happened.) This is the night before the Royal Rumble so no doubt a little bit of cross promotion could help both companies, as a good working relationship between the biggest names in both real and scripted fighting could prove to be highly profitable for everyone involved.

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Continuing with the Bellator girls, we have this week Jade Bryce! Enjoy!

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The Post-Fight Press Conference


That's it for another week here in the 5 & 1, so I hope you enjoyed the column! Please, leave a comment below and be sure to check some of the other amazing work here on the 411.

Alex Watt: "Thoughts From Across The Pond"
Jeffrey Harris: "MMAs 3 R's"
Dustin James: "The Ultimate Writer"
Robert Winfree "Locked In The Guillotine"
Jonathan Solomon: "The Juggernaut MMA News Report"
Wyatt Beougher: "Five Quick Rounds"
Scott Kuczkowski: "The View From The Cheap Seats"
Dan Plunkett: "The Greatest MMA News Column"
Jon Butterfield: "MMA on Tap!"
Patrick Mullen: "The Blueprint"

Don't forget the other 5 & 1 columns on the site either!

Steve Gustafson: Movies
Jeremy Thomas: Music
Greg De Marco: Wrestling
Sean Garmer: Games

This week, the Music Zone was spoiled as the 5 & 1 was brought to you by Adam Hill! Enjoy!

Well, by the time you read this I'll hopefully have finally got my new car, which was delayed as it was having a new steering bracket fitted so I'll have probably crashed it into something by the time next week rolls around. If you have any comments on the column, questions for me or just want to drop me a line, comment below, hit me on twitter, or email me at [e-mail]. Have a great week guys!