The MMA 5 & 1 02.01.12: The Guns Don't Kill People Edition
Posted by Stewart Lange on 02.01.2012
Kyra Gracie is your "& 1" Model of the Week, Chuck Liddell takes on GSP in Versus, thoughts on Rachas Evans' win and the rest of UFC on Fox 2, Overeem's brush with the law and more!
Hello and welcome aboard another MMA 5 & 1! It's a very exciting week for MMA as for the first time in years, we are right at the start of a new era in the UFC's Welterweight division as Nick Diaz and Carlos Condit will fight for the chance to be called the "UFC Champion". While I don't really agree with interim titles, I don't have as much a problem with them as other people do so don't have an issue with this going down.
Anyway, Call of Duty isn't going to play itself, so let's get on with this!!
It's the Evan Rachel Wood mailbag!!
You're not the only one who had a hard time telling Anik and Florian apart, I also had a hard time hearing them at all at parts.
Oh, and Franklin via decision.
Posted By: Robert Winfree (Registered) on January 25, 2012 at 01:31 AM
Anik and Florian both suck. It's like listening to Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler. NEXT.
shame that hardy is on a losing streak otherwise him and ebersole could have been coaches
Posted By: Matt (Guest) on January 25, 2012 at 03:26 AM
I've said before Dan Hardy would be a great coach, but he's just too inconsistent/low level fighter to really do it. If Brian Ebersole was on my TV every week, I think I'd gouge my eyes out.
I also didn't understand why everyone thought the Easton/Papazian fight was so good. It was good for 10 seconds followed by three minutes of not much and then 20 seconds of action. Anik and Florian were talking about what a great pace they were setting and I didn't see it all. Just seemed like they were dancing around more than actually doing anything.
Posted By: Jimjoebob (Guest) on January 25, 2012 at 07:33 PM
I'm really glad to know it wasn't just me that hated it. It would have been right in place on the UFC on Fox 2 card.
How about I get a few more comments this week? Let me know how you feel by clicking the "add comment" box!
Matt Hughes once again comes out on top against Rich Franklin, so really in my mind it's over between them. You'll never see them face off in the Superfight Octagon again. But let's see who we have this week?
The MMA Dick-tionary
Dick-tionary (adj)- An irrelevant look at MMA terms that annoy our hero for no real reason.
This week:
"Virtually Identical"
Isn't it amazing that two fighters who are scheduled to weigh in at the same size have similar attributes? I know, I know, some fighters, such as Jon Jones or Stefan Struve hold crazy advantages in the height or reach departments, but let's be honest, it's not a total anomaly that two 170lb guys are going to be "virtually identical" in their stats. So then, why does Mike Goldberg insist on using this term so much? Because he's an idiot and enjoys annoying people? Perhaps.
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UFC on Fox 2 is Card of The Year
I'm Lying. It wasn't.
When I say card of the year, it was barely card of the week. Yes folks, amazingly, three fights including four wrestlers, a jiu-jitsu guy and an Englishman were boring. Who would have guessed THAT? Anyway, as far as results go, Rashad Evans dominated Phil Davis to earn himself a shot at Jon Jones in what is likely to be April. Will one of them get injured? Probably. Will anyone miss the fight should it be delayed? Unlikely. It seems to be one of these "fore-gone conclusion" kinda match-ups, which is fine because I do enjoy Rashad Evans getting knocked the hell out.
In a very close co-main event, Chael Sonnen took a narrow decision victory over Michael Bisping. I think the result was right, but realistically, I wouldn't hold anything against a 29-28 victory for either man, it was that close. Chael proceeded to cut yet another weird promo after the fight, coupling it with his strange "Ultimate Warrior" style vignette before the fight was shown. Can Sonnen be the first fighter who could be "Hailing from Oregon, Fighting out of Parts Unknown?" I'd like that.
Demian Maia and Chris Weidman both gassed out in the 185lb equivalent of a Rob Broughton fight. Not an awful lot happened, to the point that at this exact point in time, I don't even remember who won. I think it's actually that irrelevant too.
The 411 on this card seems to be that everyone is angry that they talked it up to friends, which backfired and made them look like a dick. I've been there before, and there is nothing worse and more de constructive to MMA than a boring card but it's a lose/lose situation. People want live fights, but you can't guarantee that they will measure up to expectations. Maybe next time.
Finish Of The Week
Just watch all of it. It's awesome.
What happens in Vegas.....
.......rarely stays there.
It's pretty much late breaking news for me, so apologies if further details about Alastair Overeem being arrested in Vegas have come out. Basically, on the 2nd of January this year, Overeem was reported to have shoved a woman in the face, causing her to "stagger back". Now, I don't know how hard he DIDN'T push her, because quite frankly, I'm sure that he would have knocked her clean off her feet. Regardless, charges have been pressed and if found guilty, he could face up to six months jail time.
I can only imagine the fight started something like this:
Now, reports are still vague on how exactly Overeem will fight Junior Dos Santos from within a county jail, but I would expect the fight to be changed, once again throwing the Heavyweight division into disarray. I'm quite interested to see what exactly Dana White says on the subject, I would imagine for him to have addressed the subject by the time you read this.
So, a little while ago, Dana White found that his phone number had been posted on Twitter. Except it hadn't. The number belonged to one Julie Breeler. This poor woman has since found herself harassed by prank callers, no doubt looking to give Dana White a piece of their mind. The drama since unfolded when Dana went to Mrs. Breeler's door, looking to apologise for any trauma she has experienced.
I say drama, basically Julie Breeler has taken a baseball bat to the door with her, oblivious to who she was about to answer the door to. While she never had (a chance?) to hit Dana, the apology was given and all is well. I'm pretty certain this would have been a whole lot funnier had she hit him, because in all honesty I'm not entirely sure how this even counts as news.
It's cool though, because it killed one of my 5 and gave me a couple hundred words.
Douche Of The Week
He's the one with the glasses.....................on the right.
Evgeni Kogan wins this week's Douche of the....well, week award because I'm sticking up for my friend here on 411 Mark Radulich. Down play rumours of Lashley and Fedor, will you? Crush the heavyweight encounter of Mr. Radulich's life, will you? Enjoy your award, you douche!
Med guys don't get MMA
For lack of a better image, of course.
Now, as we all know, MMA as a sport is governed my the Athletic commissions of the relevant state for each event. Medical consultant dude, Johnny Benjamin (who?) has this week been giving us his two cents/pence worth about how the UFC should keep up with the NFL and so on by conducting all of its medical business in-house. Again, as we know, this isn't allowed so what is this guy talking about?
Don't get me wrong, he does make a few valid points but overall I think he's being pretty short sighted. Here is the interview again, make your own mind up!
On UFC's track record with fighter safety: "They're right up there with all these first-tier sports. But you know what? You need to start handling your fighter safety issues just like the first-tier sports...First-tier sports don't go to the states and say, 'You know what, guys? You implement this for us,'" Benjamin said. "When's the last time the NFL says, 'OK, we're going to let the state implement these safety policies, and (monitor for) performance-enhancing drugs. [The UFC says], 'No, no, we do that because boxing does it that way.' Well, I thought MMA never wanted to be compared to boxing."
On the NFL's monitoring of officials and health/safety issues: "One of the things they do is after all the games, they watch the videotape to see what kind of job the referees do, or what kind of job the medical personnel do. Did they see that guy who had a concussion or did they let him back in the game and no one notice it? So you know what? After the fight, it's pretty easy to watch the tape to see what kind of job someone did. Everyone says, 'Well in the heat of battle, such-and-such a thing happened.' Yeah, but you still have to grade them. If you look at the NFL referees, only the best referees get to go to the playoffs and get to do the Super Bowl. The same type of thing should happen for any type of referee. You have to grade the referee afterwards."
On whether the UFC will catch up with their counterparts: "To me, what you have to say is all these fighters are our fighters. They work for us, just like in NFL, major league baseball, NHL – all these major-league sports of which you are now one – they all control that internally themselves. The UFC can do it themselves."
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No Headbutting, No Fish-hooking, No Guns
So, he's not a fighter anymore. Doesn't make this less awesome.
It's been highlighted in the last week that Fox are unhappy with fighters being sponsored by The Gun Store, or more specifically, anything "Firearms, Hunting, Ammo or Knife" related. Now, while I hadn't really thought twice about the image portrayed by the advertising, it did surprise me it was allowed in the first place. I know MMA is a violent sport and a lot of guys in it like to relax by hunting or whatever, but to me, a gun is a different kettle of fish altogether.
Maybe it's the culture difference, but guns scare the shit out of me. I can't even comprehend walking along a street populated by people who could be carrying a lethal weapon. I've never been hunting, or even clay pigeon shooting and the closest I've come to shooting a gun is on Call of Duty. I understand the American Constitutions stance as well, but even then, my image of guns in America is more Lethal Weapon 3 than anything else.
The main problem I think is that the whole thing makes MMA look bad. Yes, it's a violent sport, but perhaps distancing itself from things that CAN- not necessarily WILL- create real violence is surely for the best. You don't see sports teams running out advertising weapons, just as the replays in the NBA aren't sponsored by, I dunno, nunchucks. Although that would be wicked.
Now, while we're at it, is there any way to prevent Condom Depot advertising across the ass of a fighter? Brilliant. Just weirds me out.
Now, we have a jiu-jitsu specialist nobody would mind rolling with, Kyra Gracie. Just remember and keep your tapping hand free.
The Post-Fight Press Conference
That's it for another week here in the 5 & 1, so I hope you enjoyed the column! Please, leave a comment below and be sure to check some of the other amazing work here on the 411.
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"Isn't it amazing that two fighters who are scheduled to weigh in at the same size have similar attributes? I know, I know, some fighters, such as Jon Jones or Stefan Struve hold crazy advantages in the height or reach departments, but let's be honest, it's not a total anomaly that two 170lb guys are going to be "virtually identical" in their stats. So then, why does Mike Goldberg insist on using this term so much? Because he's an idiot and enjoys annoying people? Perhaps. "
No, there's no "perhaps", it's a fact. An idiot and Goldberg are virtually identical.
And no, I also never understood how it is possible that (especially in the lower weight classes) in a sport with fixed weight classes you can have two guys who are 28-32 years old, weigh 170-171, have 70-72" reach and are about 5'9"-5'10". OMG that's so uncanny!
Posted By: Reality (Guest) on February 01, 2012 at 01:49 AM
"Virtually identical" is one of Goldberg's trademarks. If he didn't say it all the time, how else would you know you're listening to him and not some other commentator, like Jon Anik (aside from the fact that Goldberg doesn't sound like a 13 year-old girl)?
Posted By: Alan (Guest) on February 01, 2012 at 10:05 AM
man that pic of Brittney at the top is so epic
Posted By: wylun (Guest) on February 01, 2012 at 10:16 AM
"Virtually identical" is one of Goldberg's trademarks. If he didn't say it all the time, how else would you know you're listening to him and not some other commentator, like Jon Anik (aside from the fact that Goldberg doesn't sound like a 13 year-old girl)?
Posted By: Alan (Guest) on February 01, 2012 at 10:05 AM
You're so spot on that your precision is very precise.
Posted By: timmay (Guest) on February 01, 2012 at 01:27 PM
Great work. That picture of Brock with the gun is outstanding.
Posted By: Jeffrey (Registered) on February 01, 2012 at 11:21 PM
"Virtually identical" is one of Goldberg's trademarks. If he didn't say it all the time, how else would you know you're listening to him and not some other commentator, like Jon Anik (aside from the fact that Goldberg doesn't sound like a 13 year-old girl)?
Posted By: Alan (Guest) on February 01, 2012 at 10:05 AM
I would know because a) like you said yourself their voices are different b) because Anik only worked one show so far and c) Goldberg works PPVs
And the "virtually identical" is not his trademark, it's just him having little imagination (and it's hardly your trademark if it makes people laugh at you). Big John's "let's get it on" is a trademark, if anything, Goldie could maybe claim the "and it's all over", but that's it.
Posted By: dang (Guest) on February 02, 2012 at 03:06 PM
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