The MMA 5 & 1 08.29.12: The Finkel and Einhorn Edition
Posted by Stewart Lange on 08.29.2012
Anne Rivera is your "& 1" Model of the Week, GSP takes on Fedor in Vs, fallout from UFC 151 being cancelled, Chad Mendes gets into trouble, Ken Shamrock batters a woman and more!
Hey, it's you! You were here last week, right? Yeah, well so was I. You know the score. It's time for another MMA 5 & 1! It's a glorious week here in sunny Edinburgh, mainly because the Festival is over and all of the tourists are back to London to watch the Paralympics. So, not only do I have my city back, I'm also taking over Hong Kong with my bi-annual new release game purchase, Sleeping Dogs. It's good. But the combat is weird and the driving camera is..... shaky.
Worth a rent for a week.
But if you wanted to read my opinion on a game, you'd be over in the game zone, right? Right. But you'll not find me over there, I'm just too damned busy to write a review. So, 7/10, must try harder.
Condensed reviewing. That's what the world needs. No shit, no opinions, just a number out of 10. But what else does the world need? You got it.
BANNER!
I return fire on last week's comments!
3 THINGS:
1. Why the hell are people so hung up on Sonnen? I just don't get it. The man is very clearly delusional.
2. Is Laura Celeste related to Arianny? Either way she is very easy on the eyes.
3. "but if you get up quickly it'll be just like removing a plaster."
I'm just going to assume that is french for band-aid. Keep up the good work Stew.. With The Ultimate Writer gone, I can always count on the 5&1 for a few chuckles.
Posted By:Todd Vote (Registered) on August 22, 2012 at 11:57 AM
1- Sonnen, like him or not, is pretty much the only interesting personality in MMA. Unfortunately, playing the bad guy works and he does it so well.
2- She isn't, which means they'd have no excuse both joining me in a hot tub.
3- Yes, plaster is the correct way to say "Band-Aid" since that's a brand.
Thanks for the TUW comparison, Todd. I'm flattered, but don't tell Dustin.
Good column this week Stewart.
One thing though. I don't really think it is an insult for Dana White to say he didn't really know Julie Kedzie before the fight with Tate considering White doesn't really run Strikeforce and few people knew who Kedzie was. Going into the fight, Kedzie was like a 16-10 fighter and she was 0-1 in Strikeforce and has more or less helped the more prolific female fighters get famous with a win over her. Women's MMA is so underdeveloped I think it is hardly an insult to not know as much about her compared to Gina Carano, Cyborg, or Ronda Rousey.
Posted By:Jeffrey (Registered) on August 22, 2012 at 04:26 PM
Jeff, it's fine for Dana to not know her star sign or her vital statistics, but come on. The guy is a fight promoter. Even to say something like that is an A-grade dick move.
LOL, hendo is going to win the whole tournament~ its already set.. unless idiots pick gsp to beat fedor and hendo
Posted By:wylun (Guest) on August 22, 2012 at 04:27 PM
In event of a Fedor/Hendo final, I have a continuity plan. Please, please, vote GSP.
When you say "Pride era" Hedno which guy do you mean? We talkin' the Hendo that was getting gift decisions over Yuki Kondo, Bustamante & Ninja Rua & split wins with Misaki or the one that started TRT & held 2 belts at once?
Posted By:Guest#9882 (Guest) on August 22, 2012 at 10:14 PM
Be pretty funny if I said the first one, right?
Dan Henderson advances to the final of the Grand Prix, but who will he be facing? GSP or Fedor?
Yes, Fedor and Hendo have already fought, we all know what happened. If Fedor advances, there will be two fighters given wild card chances, chosen by you guys. We'll worry about that should it happen.
The Junk Punch Rant Zone!
The MMA Dick-Tionary Dick-tionary (adj)- An irrelevant look at MMA terms that annoy our hero for no real reason.
This week:
"Looked great against"
Another Goldie special, "Looked great against" usually indicates nothing nice to say after a loss. Or trying to cover up a strange judging call.
Either way, I didn't really think this out this week. Any suggestions for next?
Do you have a nominee for the MMA Dick-Tionary? Be sure to share it in the comments!
Douche Of The Week
Everyone!
There's so many candidates this week; Jon Jones, Dana White, Greg Jackson, Ken Shamrock and more, so I'm going to declare a national "Douche Week."
That's right, everyone in the world of MMA is guilty this week. Come back next week to see me cop out again.
Dana Versus!
Greg Jackson!
So, this week, Dana has been targeting Greg Jackson. He's called him a "fucking sport killer" and been pretty vocal on his views about Jackson. Whichever side you're taking on this argument, it's clear where White's frustrations lie, but he is talking about a trainer with a bit more than a vested interest in the UFC and it's fighters. Maybe not too bright to upset him that much.
Rachael McMillan is a few weeks away from making her pro-MMA debut. Join her as she prepares for the fight, week by week, only in the MMA 5 & 1!
I always hate people that make stupid excuses after losing. I won't lie I'm crushed that I lost and it will probably take a while for me to feel better. Lesson learnt that if you don't feel 100% mentally or physically its not fair to yourself, or coaches and team mates, to go into a fight that you've already lost before you've even stepped into
the cage.
Still, the event brought some really great people together and I am happy my team mates and friends all did so well and showcased just how talented they are. Big well done and thank you to Emma Smith and Gary
Bond for making the event happen and Izzy Carnwath for tireless work in matchmaking and promoting. Thanks to everyone that supported the first event of its type in the UK. Keep posted for reviews and post fight interviews on Cage Queen and the Women Fight Back facebook page.
I am hoping my knee will be better in time to fight in November and will be helping all my team mates get ready for South Coast fighting Championships on October 5 in Eastbourne.
Follow Rach on Twitter for up to the minute updates: Follow @kimurakoi
UFC 151. Ghost show.
I've said for months, this was a one fight card.
Come on, what else was I going to talk about?
Last Thursday, the shit hit the proverbial fan, as reports filtered out that Dan Henderson was injured and out of his upcoming title fight with Jon Jones. When the UFC held an impromptu press conference, most expected there to be an announcement made surrounding who Jones would fight, especially in the UK as we had all day to trawl the rumour mills before our 7PM press conference time. When Dana entered the call, few expected what would come; the UFC were cancelling UFC 151. Now, we all know the rest of the story. Sonnen wanted the fight, Jones refused on Greg Jackson's advice, Dana White called Jackson a "fucking sport killer," White announced Jones would instead face Lyoto Machida at UFC 152. So far, we're following.
Now, for the next few hours, we were looking at this as what was happening and the internet was having the mightiest of arguments about who we hated more. Jones for not taking the Sonnen fight, or Dana for blaming him for the cancellation of the whole card as a result. This was, anyway, until Lyoto Machida decided he was having none and pulled out, so we now end up with Vitor Belfort in the title fight and a new look UFC 152. Or are they calling it UFC 151? Who knows. All I know is that, ironically, Jones is up against an opponent that is a totally different beast from Team Quest "doppelgängers" Sonnen and Henderson (albeit with Hendo having the harder shots) and frankly, I not only think Belfort has the better chance of beating Jones than Sonnen ever did, but I'm now cheering for the Brazilian, whoever I blame in this whole mess.
Which, for the record, is Dana White. If UFC 151 even had a fairly decent co main event, it could have quite easily been a substandard, but at the very least, GOING AHEAD pay per view.
The 5 & 1 Soundtrack
A fine song from the awesome soundtrack of one of my all time favourite movies. Also a top driving soundtrack, by the way.
Lois Einhorn?
Google "Viz- Up the Arse corner" and you'll see more like this.
I almost wasn't able to write about this for laughing about it. Shamrock, lifted, for battering a girl he thought was a man? Come on. You couldn't write that sort of story for this column but yet, I almost couldn't do it. It's just too funny. In fact, I think it's even caught my fabled "funny fuse."
I'll never laugh at anything else again. Anyway, while they were breaking up a "brawl at the mall" (WCW PPV, anyone?) Ken Shamrock smacked a woman. His defence? HE thought SHE was a HE. You following? Now, TMZ released pictures and that is one handsome woman so could Shamrock be let off for his mistake?
I think not. Whether it's a manly woman, or a womanly man, people with whatever fleeting level of celebrity shouldn't really be hitting people in shopping malls. As for the victim, look for her on an upcoming season of celebrity Big Brother.
The 411 MMA Podcast
Another week, another great show from Mark and the guys.
UFC featherweight Chad "Money" Mendes has been charged for his part in a bar brawl that took place a month ago, despite his representatives denying it never took place.
Now, I'm not one to throw stones, but aren't the "Alpha Male" camp exactly the sort of guys who would end up mixed up in something like this and then deny all knowledge? If he's been charged, there's obviously some evidence against him. All this could mean a hefty fine and a six month jail term. Which would put a dent in any rematch with Jose Aldo.
With any luck, Chad is celled up with someone he can easily take, just so his time passes a little easier. Like Cody Mackenzie. Or wait, isn't Ian McCall in jail? Yeah, just put them in together. Remember kids, there's no weight classes in the big house.
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Women Fight Back!
Our own Rachael McMillan
The 5 & 1 approved Women Fight Back card when down on Saturday night and as you'll know, Rach McMillan lost her boxing match against Kate Jackson, but going in with an injury was a brave move. She'll bounce back. The night itself was a resounding success, with the event making a lot of money for Victim Support for Women, but the real winners being the fans in attendance, witnessing a boxing undercard, followed by great performances including an awesome encounter between L.J. Adams and Paula Donnelly, with Adams walking away after a war with a unanimous decision.
Emma Watson scored a crazy 11 second knockout win over Andrea Gladiatrix, which shocked a lot of people, including me. Not because she shares a name with a Harry Potter actress, but because it was over someone with arguably the MOST fighter surname in the world.
The night was a big success and they now look to add more nights to the banner, which would no doubt do big things for charity and women's MMA growth in the UK. Hell, British girls love fighting out in the streets and bars, so they might as well put them in a cage and do it properly.
That's it for another week here in the 5 & 1, so I hope you enjoyed the column! Please, leave a comment below and be sure to check some of the other amazing work here on the 411.
I know I've been running the domestic abuse hotline for a few weeks now, but I'm changing my good cause. Friend of the column and 411er Steve Gustafson has recently set up a website to aid those affected by suicide and having been affected personally, I'll be linking to it for you here from now on. Please, if you need to, visit the site and remember, don't suffer alone.
