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The MMA 5 & 1 10.02.12: The 1500 Words on Steve Siler Edition
Posted by Stewart Lange on 10.03.2012



Well, hello and welcome to the fantastic, new look MMA 5 & 1! I say new look, but realistically, it's actually just the 411 comments section that is new look. You should register and try it out, having seen it in full effect in the movie zone, I can say it's pretty awesome. Hopefully, it will increase the number of comments I see.

In other news, I'm still dwelling the vaults. Borderlands 2 is shit house awesome and I'm loving it. Stupid work keeping me from just doing that all day. Speaking of stupid work, I guess I'll give you the........

BANNER!







I return fire on last week's comments!


Since the new comments section was implemented, I have no idea of what the comments were last week. I do know someone came up with a great What If.... and I'm pretty sure the usual suspects showed up to call me an ass or tell me my taste in music is shit, but whatever. Let's get on with this weeks and make some new comments!






Well, the newest Superfight tournament got off to a flying start, with Jose Aldo getting past BJ Penn by 40 votes to 36. A controversial loss that sees the Prodigy out of the running and Aldo progresses to meet the winner of Sakuraba Vs Melendez.



This week, though, Bellator kingpin Michael Chandler takes on under-rated journeyman Jeremy Horn. Who takes this one? Vote with your clicking fingers, people.









The Junk Punch Rant Zone!




The MMA Dick-Tionary
Dick-tionary (adj)- An irrelevant look at MMA terms that annoy our hero for no real reason.


This week:
A "Great Win"


This seems to be one of Jon Anik's favourites. Yes, any wins in the Octagon are great for the competitor, but I always get the feeling he's sucking up a little bit. Especially if the win, in fact, sucked. Take, for example: John Hathaway over John Maguire, any Jon Fitch fight. You get me?

Do you have a nominee for the MMA Dick-Tionary? Be sure to share it in the comments!

Douche Of The Week

Rashid Evans


You want to know the bad news? The most anticipated MMA bout of 2012 has been scrapped, as Dave Bautista's October 6th opponent Rashid Evans is in prison. A replacement has been arranged, but COME ON. You can't expect us to care about this fight without Rashid, can you? Man. Now I'm depressed. More on this story in the Five.




Dana Versus LOVES!


PUUUUUUSSAAAAAYS!


In these turbulent times of civil war, there seems to be a constant theme. If it isn't TRT use, then it's injury plagues. Now, though, it's a bit of a made up one- fighters turning down bouts on short notice. Obviously, this is all Jon Jones' fault, but with Matt Mitrione and apparently Rashad Evans turning down fights lately, they've found themselves in Dana's crosshairs. It "fucking sickens him" so it does. You won't like him when he's angry. Hell, most of you don't like him at all. Again, I'll chat a bit more about this in a minute.




What If.....?


Last week: Randy Couture had never returned to face Tim Sylvia?

Sorry the comments section change wiped out some of the great stuff you suggested, my favourite one involved Brandon Vera and the RISE OF CRO-COP. Good stuff, please, let me know what you think this week.



So, Matt Serra never got lucky in the title fight against GSP, St. Pierre took the victory and went on with nobody remembering the huge upset.

What happens next?






UFC On Fuel!


What a shot.


This past Saturday night, the UFC came live from Nottingham, England- the home of Robin Hood and Dan Hardy. On that subject, Hardy took a home town win against hen-picked opponent Amir Sadollah to further remove himself from the UFC's most famous losing streak. Hardy looked pretty good, but it really shows the gulf in talent outside the top couple of guys within the Welterweight division. Keeping on that note, John Hathaway versus John Maguire. Good grief that sucked. I really wasn't thrilled about watching this. Hopefully, Maguire finds himself back on the prelims where I probably won't see him anyway.

The main event of the evening saw Stefan Struve looking beastly again Stipe Miocic, battering him within two rounds and showing he's a force to be reckoned with. Would he fare better in a rematch against JDS? Probably not, but he's toughened up and looking sharp, not to mention he's never in a boring fight. The UFC could do well to start marketing his fights as can't miss, because generally, they are. In other news, Matt Wiman is a submission machine. Anyone (me) who thought he'd be a higher profile win for Paul Sass were forced to eat their words when he was able to make Sass tap out in a fantastic grappling match.

While ratings didn't seem to show it, this was a really fun show, including the prelims that saw Jimi Manuwa kick the living crap out of Kyle Kingsbury, leading to a doctors stoppage. Manuwa could be a big player at 205 and he fared much better than UK compatriot Tom Watson, who looked sloppy and crap in his bout against Brad Tavares. Neither of them, though, looked as good as Brad Pickett. WOW! If you haven't already, check his win over Yves Jabouin out!




The 5 & 1 Soundtrack



My favourite rapping storyteller Scroobius Pip has a nack of making awesome videos, so getting three decent looking girls to star as him and his friends in a lip-sync of awesomeness was never going to be a bad idea. Enjoy.




The Reverend finally debuts!


Training with the Gracies!


It's finally time, folks! It's nearly time for the 5 & 1 HOT MMA BOUT of the year as Dave Bautista takes on his first opponent in an MMA cage! As I stated above, it's not going to be Rashid Evans (no, not Rashad) as he's been arrested. Or injured, depending on which news outlets you believe. Since it's in my interests to believe the really unreliable ones, I'll go with the funnier one. So, since Evans would rather have jail time against his name than a potential loss against a washed up wrestler, it now falls to 22-22-1 veteran Vince Lucero to fall victim to the Bautista bomb. Lucero is a "never-was" in MMA, but although he does have notable losses to Roy Nelson and Tim Sylvia, his biggest win was over Doris the lunch lady.

The "Real Pain" pay per view is probably going to do okay numbers, in it's own little world. I doubt as many people will watch as even took in UFC on Fuel, but I'm sure they don't expect them to. I have to admit, it does have car crash qualities and after joking about this for so long, I'm even intrigued to see how the big guy does.




The 411 MMA Podcast


Mark and the gang with another great show this week!

Listen to internet radio with Mark Radulich on Blog Talk Radio





Big WIMPS!


Fight a 205er? Bah.


Dana has had a couple of fight refusals to deal with this week, but perhaps surprisingly, he's only been vocal about one of them. Matt Mitrione refused a fight against Strikeforce Heavyweight Grand Prix winner Daniel Cormier and well, Uncle Dana wasn't best pleased with his decision. "It makes me fucking sick" he said. "You don't want big opportunities, I hear you." Well. Obviously, it's Greg Jackson's fault, but White was sure to put the boot into Mitrione that his next opponent, Phil De Fries is a 205lb fighter. Well, he isn't really, but okay Dana. Don't let facts get in the way of someone getting in trouble. Fresh from sticking the boot into "Meathead," though, Dana must have been too tired to say the same thing about "number four draw in the company," Rashad Evans (no, not Rashid), who was the latest in a who's who of top names to pussy out of fighting Glover Teixeira. While I have no doubt White was jumping up and down like Yosemite Sam at this news, he knows a lot better than to trash a "top guy" in public like that.

With all these guys refusing to fight, what can Dana do about it? Well, if Daniel Cormier needs an opponent, Dana should do what all good bosses would and step up to the plate. That's right, Dana. Get in the cage against him yourself, you're clearly the right weightclass anyway.




Knockout of the Week!


You can have the full fight this week, so enjoy Brad Pickett battering Yves Jabouin and celebrating it Gangnam style!






UK Marketing plans


God save the Cage


In wake of not only a fairly unsuccessful U.K. Show, but also Dana saying he is dedicated to the growth of MMA in these fair isles, I figured I'd take a look at some common misconceptions surrounding MMA over here and how the UFC can eradicate them and grow in the eyes of the British public.

Too Bloodthirsty: While boxing has always been big in the United Kingdom, MMA brings the media images of "No Retreat, No Surrender" and "Best of The Best" as far as what actually happens within the cage. So, while we could be watching an awesome contest between Struve and Miocic, the Daily Mail (a newspaper that thinks of themselves as highbrow- actually terrible) think we're watching Eric Roberts bludgeon a 15 year old girl with a flail. This could be changed by maybe showcasing amateur bouts, to educate the more cynical people that there is method to the madness.

Too gay: The other side of the coin is people who have tuned in to a UFC show expecting to see Eric Roberts bludgeon a 15 year old girl with a flail, but have actually witnessed the bout between Matt Wiman and Paul Sass. To the educated, it was an awesome grappling contest, but to the guy who thinks it's basically real life "Blood and Sand," it's two guys rolling around in a gay display of dominance. As for fixing this, well, I don't know. Do we even want to call these people MMA fans?

Too overwhelming: I work with a guy who loves watching MMA. He buys the DVDs. He Asks me the results of big cards. I know he reads this column on his way to work every Wednesday. What he doesn't do is follow the sport. Why not? Because there are too many shows, too many fighters and too much stuff to remember. I'll make sure he watches the big fights, but the problem is, that's what he cares about: the marquee match ups. Everything else is just too....... much. While it's clear that the UFC won't be able to only put on Superfights, when these huge bouts roll around, I'm sure they can market them better for people.




Twitter Break!!










Got a twitter? Click the above links for up to date news from across the 411 spectrum, plus, be sure to follow me for ongoing fun and shenanigans!

Image credit: The Five and &1 banners-

Image credit: All other artwork-





Rap Corner at the 5



There's not enough news this week and my back is killing me. Please watch this video and I promise you'll enjoy your Wednesday.






While I've been enjoying giving you hot girls from 90's shows, the head teacher from City Guys wasn't in the best of pictures I could find. As I've been watching How I Met Your Mother, though, this lady fits the bill. I give to you.....



Alyson Hannigan!








The 5 & 1 End Zone!


That's it for another week here in the 5 & 1, so I hope you enjoyed the column! Please, leave a comment below and be sure to check some of the other amazing work here on the 411.

Alex Watt: "Thoughts From Across The Pond"
Jeffrey Harris: "MMAs 3 R's"
Robert Winfree "Locked In The Guillotine"
Jonathan Solomon: "The Juggernaut MMA News Report"
Wyatt Beougher: "Five Quick Rounds"
Scott Kuczkowski: "The View From The Cheap Seats"
Dan Plunkett: "The Greatest MMA News Column"
Jon Butterfield: "Monday Morning MMA"
Patrick Mullen: "The Blueprint"
Jeremy Lambert & Samer Kadi: "Occupy The Throne"
Alex Rella: "MMA Top Ten"

Don't forget the other 5 & 1 columns on the site either!

Jack McGhee: Movies
Greg De Marco: Wrestling

I know I've been running the domestic abuse hotline for a few weeks now, but I'm changing my good cause. Friend of the column and 411er Steve Gustafson has recently set up a website to aid those affected by suicide and having been affected personally, I'll be linking to it for you here from now on. Please, if you need to, visit the site and remember, don't suffer alone.

YouCanEndure.com

Oh, what a quiet week it's been. I almost cracked out Shit Predictions but figured you'd rather see Kate Upton dance in a bikini for the millionth time. I bet I was right. Oh well, how about you try out the comment system? It's easy and allows me to chat back to you instantly. Perfect.






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