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 411mania » MMA » Columns

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The Round Horn 4.18.14: The Half Million Dollar Man
Posted by Koeddy Laemmle on 04.18.2014



Following a busy week in the world of mixed martial arts which included two different UFC events and one of the greatest kickboxers in the world going down with a very unfortunate leg injury we wind down the the final round of our third competition here at "The Round Horn". This ELIMINATION will narrow it down to the final two panel members and the winner of this round will join "The Man Called" O and 411's Jeffrey Harris in the Championship Rounds.

Joseph Santos: 32
Paul Lapointe: 25
Robert Practor: 14


After struggling to accumulate any points this week, and officially becoming the first person to go backwards in score between rounds we bid farewell to 411's own Robert Practor. This also means that Joseph Santos will enter the final round with a 7 point advantage over Paul Lapointe.

You can participate and cast your votes over at The Round Horn Subreddit. Voting is open until Tuesday as always. And now on with the finish:



Following his loss to Roy Nelson, Antonio Minotauro Nogueira's manager claimed he wanted to fight Frank Mir one more time before retiring. Considering both fighters are currently on a downward spiral in their professional careers and Nogueira already lost both of his other shots at Mir, do you see this fight happening or do you think Big Nog's just going to have to settle with never avenging the two most humiliating losses of his historic career?

Joseph Santos: As of right now, Frank Mir has not been released by the UFC but was told that if he lost to Alistair Overeem that he would definitely get his walking papers. A fight with Noguiera, or anyone in the UFC, means giving Mir a chance at redemption that he was not supposed to get. I don't like the chances of this fight happening. Unless the UFC refuses to re-sign Mir, win or lose, I don't see this happening.

Paul Lapointe: Considering how Big Nog's luck was this past weekend and in the cage against Mir, we as fans may have just seen the last of Nog anyhow. Big Country layed the Smackdown so hard of Nog's Noggin that he broke his jiggle handle with mighty fierceness so he should stay on the bench for the next little bit. But he is a known commodity in the fight game and like his brother no matter how broken down and injured they may seem or be they all but acknowledge that they will be stubborn enough to fight again even if their bodies so, Nope! In the end though would anybody really want to see this matchup again? If your Nog you just want something to aspire too given no title run is ever coming his way before his gloves are hung up for good and well Mir could add to his highlight reel if he can in anyway duplicate his previous successes against the man. The question really is though considering both guys are pretty much inconsequential to the UFC's HW division going forward that like matching up Shogun Rua/Dan Henderson a little while ago that a rematch is something that sells itself. 

Historically speaking Nog was finished by strikes for the first time in his career against Mir and then the 2nd go round had his arm snapped like a twig so whose to say what could happen a third time out. Would I really want to see it? Not particularly as I can't see how anything worthwhile could happen in a third try and as for Mir, well he has lost 4 straight and if reliving past success really actually means drubbing Big Nog again well more power to him I guess. I wish the best for these pioneers and though we wish our heroes and gladiators can walk off into the sunset with heads held high most of the time they wind up falling on there own sword. Sad but true, kinda like Nog.




Was joining Jackson-Winkeljohn's camp the move Alistair Overeem needed to make in order to continue moving his career in the right direction and tap into the potential that made him one of the top Heavyweight contenders in the world just a little over a year ago?

Paul Lapointe: A big fat stinking No! For those unaware of a recent interview with Rashad Evans the face of Florida's Blackzillians camp in which he lambasted The Reem so bad for his ill advised attitude that Alistair felt truly like his nickname, that is REEMED let me enlighten you a tad.  In said interview he noted did Evans that given his rocky split from Golden Glory en route to the Zillians sometime ago Al seemed to always be at odds with anybody advising him that was not himself. Now leaving a North American camp for the first time his apparent attitude has come up again as a man who loves to play the blame game and considering when your a renowned Kickboxer who is sculpted like a God and still lose and lose spectacularly it must be easy to blame everybody. So could Greg smarten the kid up and make him feel the brunt of responsibility when it comes to a possible ass handing? Who knows and I don't really care. Reem will always be a juice head with a paper chin and fight ethics that resemble that of a high filutin bully. So when bullies get beaten back it should be heralded and when Jackson and Co. don't take to Alistairs pissing and moaning and toss him on his keester he will have nobody left to blame but himself. Best gameplan coach in MMA can't be blamed if YOU fuck up in the cage. Who knows maybe the boys in New Mexico can screw his head on straight after what Big Foot did to it in such a hilariously brutal fashion some time ago, only time will tell but I'll hold my breath. 

Joseph Santos: It's hard to tell. Alistair Overeem's biggest obstacle has always been his own arrogance. He has always been one arrogant moment away from losing any fight. His fight with Antonio Silva is only the latest example. Until Overeem learns to take everyone seriously 100% of the time, I don't see that anything he does will matter. However, Overeem usually does well against opponents that he can predict, and Greg Jackson can put some solid strategies together. So, if Overeem changes his attitude then this is a good move because he won't surround himself with yes men. Otherwise, he's just another athlete changing gyms - just like when Melvin Guillard changed gyms but never improved on the ground.



Nick Diaz asking for $500,000 to come back to fight Hector Lombard is ridiculous and will end any chances of him returning to the UFC in 2014?


Joseph Santos: It's a lot of money for an inactive fighter to get just for coming back, but Nick Diaz does have a way of getting what he wants from the UFC. I don't think this demand would end his chances of returning this year. Maybe this will result in a delay until the fall season which would be best because Hendricks will be back around that time as well. It's in Diaz's best interest to get people talking about him around the fall season since he's looking for a shortcut to a title fight, and it's in the UFC's interest to keep contenders available to the champion.

I believe Diaz will look at the bigger picture, work with the UFC, even if they don't agree with his demands, and focus on that title shot he clearly wants. He has to if he wants to be taken seriously. Obviously the UFC isn't gonna gift him a title shot twice. The old, crusty foot of Dana White is down on gifting Diaz another title shot.


Paul Lapointe: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHA!!!!!!!!! Fuck yes....them Diaz boys are just chock full of hilarious cockamamie smoke laced barbs that the shit that comes out there mouths on a weekly basis is both fascinating and depressingly hilarious. In fact almost everybody in the scrap pack crew has been difficult to work with and deal with when handling money in the UFC lately and instead of fighting to earn any they say there broke and won't fight. Seems rather counterproductive on the whole but who am I to judge them Stockton bad boys. 

 Seriously though boys and girls Nick Diaz must be smoking something a hell of alot stronger then pot if he thinks he can finagle a half million. from Dana and Co. as it just screams self flagulation. Nick Diaz is super fun to watch and is marketable but for pete's sake he's lost his last couple does nothing but bitch and complain and he is to be rewarded for acting like an entitled drug addled brat? I don't think so. Man up Diaz and fight somebody...ANYBODY like the man you say you are and maybe then you can make some demands. I mean shit your ego has transplanted itself into Nate so much lately that he sounds just like you with every passing day. Difference is he is still under contract, only won his last fight, demands a title shot and then after signing on the dotted line says, gimme more. Stop inhaling the fumes boys its making your schtick seem forced and just sad. You call yourself warriors? Fight...bottomline.

Half a million dollars huh? Well if Diaz really wants that kind of money for the crap that spills from his lips the only option I see is for him to set up a reality show with himself, Mayhem Miller and War Machine. With the amount of quotes and bullshit that would be flying it would be hard to look away from that train wreck. C'mon Nick pick up the phone, MTV has got your back.




Do you believe the UFC was justified in releasing Jake Shields even though it could easily be made he was one win away from a possible Welterweight title shot barely even a month ago?


Paul Lapointe: Controversially I actually say, yes the release is just dandy. Saying that does not mean though that Jake was not in the top ten at WW and had he beat Lombard he could be facing Rory next in a contenders bout over T-Wood but he is instead fired. I myself am more of a grappler then striker when it comes to my training and sometimes it is alot less exciting then them strikers if one were to put eyes on it so I respect the shit out of grapplers and even I think Jake Shields is fucking pain drying. Here is why Jake Shields is fired in bullet points as the rant must be saved for question 5.

1) Jon Fitch...he is the new Jon Fitch
2) He conceivably in some peoples eyes...(mine) lost both split decision *Wins* he recently was awarded
3) Failed drug test against Ed Herman
4) Strikeforce just cuz
5) Affiliation with the scrap pack and all that baggage (Nick and Nate Diaz, Cody McKenzie and Gilbert Melendez)
6) $$$

I could invariably go on and add a few to the list I would surmise but really I think it was just a way for Dana to bitchslap Shield's entire camp for all the BS they bring on. Like the previous question the Diaz's bring on more headaches then they are worth. The mouthpiece for the camp is a Gracie and the entire family is pretty much bitter towards and resented by most in the UFC. Gilbert for his part held the UFC hostage in negotiations to get himself what could be Shields pay in his wallet and put an entire division on hold till New Years. The odd man out is a 35 year old top tenner that will still be the same guy somewhere else. A really boring guy to watch and who wants to pay him to do that or pay the UFC to watch it. Not enough. Heck, if Gil was willing to jump to Bellator...Jake you can be the new Askren.


Joseph Santos: I do. I believe the UFC is trying to set higher standards and make room for more dedicated and complete competitors. Shields has solid skill in everything he does right, but where he is lacking he has almost no merit at all. His refusal or inability to improve makes him an unwelcome addition to the UFC roster.

Since coming to the UFC, Shields has won an unimpressive and controversial split decision match against Martin Kampmann, was given a title shot for this unimpressive victory, lost the fight with the champion without making a good impression, he was knocked out by Jake Ellenberger without putting up a fight, and won two fights unimpressively before losing to Lombard. Let's also keep in mind that Shields did fail a drug test somewhere in that recent winning streak. All of this after the UFC fought very hard with Strikeforce to win Shields over. The UFC was very kind to Shields. He was given 7 chances to deliver in the UFC and he certainly did not.



FACE TIME!: This is where (doesn't have to be MMA in any way at all). In Canada this is known as "The Lapointe Special" due to his uncanny ability to talk about 50 different things at once.

Paul Lapointe: Awww, I feel so special now with all the praise and love and recognition from our beloved host about my uncanny ability to babble profusely ad nauseam (Removes single manly tear from eye). Ok for my namesake, my future children and for the power of Gray Skull I will have to channel all pieces of the Triforce to pull this one out. "Rocket Fire" rant so forth commence:

(MMA) Bellator's upcoming PPV may have an already sure to be awesome main event but with the WWE style booking of Alexander Shlemenko against Tito Ortiz being lined up does anybody else find that matchup more intriguing? Granted, not for the fight value as Tito will invariably pull out with kidney stones or something but if it does indeed come to pass the sheer curiosity of the shitshow that will transpire. Oh Tito you make me giggle.

(Sports) I am a Toronto Maple Leafs fan...ugh. Moving on the NHL playoffs something my guys are seemingly allergic to is commencing and I got the Hawks repeating, any takers?

(Film) Friday the 13th is to be rebooted from the reboot? For christ sakes people I am a horror hound and continuity is really not the biggest thing to worry about from film to film. Jason+Machete+Hacking= Win! Not hard math. Of course this is a company ran by and operated by Michael Bay...math without explosions is hard.

(Comics) Batman Eternal...so far so good. A little clunky in exposition for a pilot issue but anything with Snyder's input will undoubtedly bring more mythos to the Gothamverse.

(Comics 2#) GRAYSON??? Dan Didio you frackin' turd. He always wanted to KILL Dick and now he invariably has to a point. Forever Evil kiboshed him as Nightwing, Flashpoint retconned him as Batman and editorial has duped him into a hybrid Winter Soldier/Black Widow spybuster. Kyle Higgins work with the young ward always seemed to be cut off momentum-wise and now I know why it was seemingly all for moot. I will give it a chance come July of course but Mr. Tim Seeley why did you have to end Hack/Slash for this?

(TV) Game of Thrones!!! FINALLY...I am colour blind to a degree and I have trouble identifying purple most of all but geezus H moses did I find that PURPLE WEDDING truly gratifying.

(TV #2) Currently watching tail ends of Arrow (Awesome as is its DC counterpart), Supernatural (10th Season guarenteed), Person of Interest (Always felt like a Comic Book Show), Hannibal (Beautiful Violence), Orphan Black (WATCH IT), S.H.I.E.L.D (Finally picking up, bless you Bill Paxton) and counting down to 24: Live Another Day...and Desperate Housewives. My girlfriend is making me. Fine. Yeah snicker, I have a vagina.

(Wrestling) Meh-Evolution. But the reality era is HHH's fight against IWC.
Blah, blah, blah....I am tired of typing. Fight hard, play fun and carry a big stick...or is that boomstick? I always get those mixed up. Anyhow, carry on people its been a blast.


Joseph Santos: Thank you, Koeddy, for proving that seasoned writers can make basic grammatical errors whenever they get around to it while thoroughly not giving a shit that they 'dun nit.

This was a very fun experiment that I hope gets a lot more attention, and I look forward to being part of future editions. Thanks for having me!

Since this is just ramblings, I want to thank all of my friends simply because I can. I could not have asked for better people in my life. At all... well, I wish Rob didn't loudly suck his fingers in between bites of food and chew with his damn mouth open but other than that, definitely the best people to call friends. Wouldn't trade them for anything less than a pet dinosaur(please happen).

Everyone be sure to watch the first ever Redditor vs Redditor MMA match this September. Joseph Santos vs /u/Sexual_tyrannosaurus at 205 is gonna be the best fight on the card without fail. See /u/DreamerMMA for details!





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