Punch Drunk Hangover 10.01.07: Your Brews, My News
Posted by Bren Oliver on 10.01.2007
Monday has arrived and with it comes the Punch Drunk Hangover, your quick reference guide to news related highlights from the past week coupled with unfiltered opinions from the Shep Shepard of 411Mania's MMA Zone - Bren Oliver. Always attempting to deliver a more palatable concoction than raw eggs and tabasco sauce, the Hangover should hopefully offer up a "hair of the Nog" to anyone needing a quick MMA fix for the after-effects of this past weekend. Read ahead for commentary on the futures of Chuck Liddell's belly, Roger Huerta's face, Forrest Griffin's forehead, and Cro Cop's schnozz!
It seems as though football, both collegiate and professional, took a page from MMA's 2007 Almanac this weekend. While there was a fairly significant Mixed Martial Arts event on Saturday night in Hef's backyard, the fights went off as planned for the most part while the land o' the pigskin was rocked with upsets Friday to Sunday. I'll leave gridiron reflections to the experts like Peter King, so let me instead turn to the subject upon which this Zone is built and act as your "Monday Morning Quarterback" in review of the past seven days in MMA.
We're still three weeks away from the next UFC event but, as always, the newswire has been buzzing with morsels of information both confirmed and speculatory. In fact, I guarantee the upcoming week will provide similar stories regarding potential fights being made, signings from every corner of the globe, and at least one positive drug test result from the CSAC.
I write the above comment in jest but, as the great Super Heavyweight Homer Simpson once said, "It's funny because it's true." The number of laughs the remark induces may be up for debate but the reality of California's consistent findings is as serious as a heart attack. Or, in the case of the master of D'oh and doughnuts, as serious as four simultaneous ones.
Last week the California State Athletic Commission released information stating a drug test for Kazuhiro Nakumura showed use of marijuana. The PRIDE star was making his debut at UFC 77 in Anaheim. He's not the first fighter to test positive for pot and he won't be the last. If Mixed Martial Arts is genuinely interested in cleaning up the sport they need to address the subject of marijuana use. It is by far the most common drug found in the system of MMA fighters (at least per past CSAC and NSAC results). For every isolated case of the use of an anabolic agent there are at least 4-5 cases of a fighter familiar with both the Thai Clinch and the Thai Stick. I don't think smoking a joint is necessarily beneficial to a fighter immediately prior to stepping into the ring, but I definitely can see how it might assist an individual when it comes to dealing with anxiety related to fighting or the wear-and-tear of training. In that sense I believe it's fair to say pot can be "performance enhancing". Let's hope the MMA community figures out a way to address the issue, especially when it comes to the CSAC, before any of the sport's credibility goes up in smoke.
On to the Hangover we go. Remember, as always, the news report will feature my commentary and be immediately followed by Bobby Fabulous' weekly underground gossip rag. You're also welcome to send feedback/questions/rumors to the email address provided at the bottom of this column.
The following medly of items were reported between September 24th, 2007 and September 30th, 2007:
According to media outlets, "El Matador" Roger Huerta will take on "The Carpenter" Clay Guida as the main event of The Ultimate Fighter 6 Finale on December 8th. Huerta is coming off a win over Alberto Crane at UFC 74 while Guida is coming off a split decision victory over Marcus Aurelio on the same card.
As we all know, nothing is official until it's announced by the UFC and even then it sometimes isn't reliable (at least when it comes out of Dana White's mouth). That being said, I certainly hope this rumor holds true. Huerta and Guida are Top Fifteen Lightweights. Whoever wins will propel himself into the Top Ten as far as I'm concerned. This would be the first test for Huerta as far as a contender in the division. Leonard Garcia and Alberto Crane are both talented in different ways but they, as all of Roger's opponents have been, were stepping into the Ocho-sided ring for the first time when facing him. Guida has fought some of the top 155 pounders in the UFC, impressing whether in victory or defeat and always offering a difficult task to whoever stands opposite of him in the ring. It might be apropos to say "The Carpenter" is tough as nails. His skill level is much higher than anyone Huerta has faced to date.
I wouldn't be surprised if this fight is put off until the December 29th PPV card in Las Vegas. My gut feeling is Dana White will want to promote a bout with Welterweights on the Ultimate Finale 6 to match up with the show's designated weightclass. Zuffa also likes to stack the traditional New Year's PPV so it makes sense to put Sports Illustrated coverboy, Huerta, on a deep card when the fight against Guida should definitely deliver another standard Lightweight Division "UFC Fight of the Year" candidate.
The following is an excerpt from an interview that Chuck Liddell's trainer John Hackleman had with TheFightNetwork.com:
"[Chuck has] already said he'll be back in the gym next Monday," said Hackleman, who has coached Liddell for 16 years. "He's going to fight again, hopefully as soon as possible, maybe in December. We're looking at ‘Shogun.'"
I would be very interested to hear about what Chuck did in the Gym last Monday. Watch tape perhaps? I guarantee he wasn't running around or training. After the beating his ribcage and legs took from Keith Jardine's shin-bone he was lucky to be walking with a limp let alone preparing for his next fight. I'd actually like to see a rematch with "The Dean of Mean" at some point before Chuck retires. I ultimately think the judges' decision boiled down to about seven seconds of the fifteen minutes in the fight, specifically the ticks on the clock involving Jardine's fist giving Liddell a case of rubber legs. Beyond that I felt the fight was very even.
The best thing Dana White can do for Mauricio Rua and Chuck Liddell is have Joe Silva work on putting together some good stylistic match-ups. It's important to offer marquee fights but 2007 has shown us it's also important to build your superstars. Liddell needs to get back to fighting someone who prefers to take it to the ground as opposed to stand. Rua needs to heal from his injury, get himself in top notch shape, and take a step down in competition to acclimate himself to the cage. After another two fights I would put him against a name opponent.
MMA powerhouse Bodog Fight has signed on to become a Presenting Sponsor of three upcoming Strikeforce promotions, including the first-ever mixed martial arts event to be held at the world-famous Playboy Mansion in Beverly Hills, California on Saturday, September 29.
A "Presenting Sponsor"? That's the equivalent of an "Assistant to the Manager", isn't it? Bodog has never impressed me outside of landing Fedor for a night. Strikeforce on the other hand is no joke in the American MMA game. Ultimately this pairing on any level is good news. The best thing that can happen to this sport we love is for smaller promotions to keep getting in bed together, as they have been under the ProElite banner, and for the group to function as an alternative to the UFC. Competition tends to bring out the best in all parties involved. Look at Major League Baseball, the National Football League, and the NBA - all three major sporting entities have roots similar to the path we're presently seeing in MMA (relating to the AL/NL, AFL/NFL, CBA/NBA).
The following salary information was reported by the CSAC. It does not include money from PPV bonuses or promotional work:
Keith Jardine ($14,000) def. Chuck Liddell ($500,000)
Forrest Griffin ($44,000) def. Mauricio "Shogun" Rua ($150,000)
Jon Fitch ($44,000) def. Diego Sanchez ($22,000)
Lyoto Machida ($50,000) def. Kazuhiro Nakamura ($20,000)
Tyson Griffin ($24,000) def. Thiago Tavares ($9,000)
Rich Clementi ($24,000) def. Anthony Johnson ($5,000)
Jeremy Stephens ($6,000) def. Diego Saraiva ($3,000)
Christian Wellisch ($14,000) def. Scott Junk ($4,000)
Matt Wiman ($16,000) def. Michihiro Omigawa ($5,000)
These numbers are always fun for a few reasons. First, they don't necessarily reflect the amount a fighter took home from the event, because they lack bonuses relating to PPV buys or specific fights. For example, Tyson Griffin and Thiago Tavares each took home an additional $40,000 for "Fight of the Night". It used to be $10,000 for such a prize so it's good to see the figure expanding. It's definitely a shame if Keith Jardine made the same money beating Chuck Liddell as Christian Wellisch did defeating Scott Junk. Secondly most UFC guys are on multi-fight contracts where they're making a flat rate regardless of the competition faced. By the way, if someone wants to total the amount Zuffa has spent on the 2007 losses of Chuck Liddell, Mauricio Rua, and Mirko Cro Cop I'll be glad to post it in next week's column. Let's just say it's at least a small villa in Tuscany...
Renato "Babalu" Sobral was fined $25,000 on Monday by the Nevada State Athletic Commission for excessively maintaining a submission hold on opponent David Heath at UFC 74
Baba-booooo! Okay, so I understand the fine, and I am not condoning Sobral's behavior against David Heath. I just think the UFC messed up releasing Sobral. He took a major financial hit from both the NSAC and the UFC for his actions. In the NFL a five-figure fine might not mean much but in Mixed Martial Arts it proves a point. Very few fighters are pulling down major cash (as evident in the commentary above this segment). The extended submission didn't even catch bad press on any mainstream news outlets. Sobral is an exciting fighter with tremendous talent. He also brings personality to the table in a sport where charisma counts for a lot. Keeping Babalu around, even suspending him as an alternative to termination, would have kept depth in the LHW division and given Shogun a chance to avenge a loss.
After some uncertainty due to visa issues, Hector Lombard (11-2-1 MMA, 0-0 UFC) will be permitted to enter the U.S. to take on welterweight contender Karo Parisyan (17-4 MMA, 7-2 UFC) at UFC 78.
Always good to hear Parisyan has a fight on the horizon. He's often lost in the depth of the UFC's Welterweight division. People tend to forget he was in line for a title shot before succumbing to an injury and losing his place in the shuffle. The loss to Diego Sanchez hurt him but it wasn't as if he got his ass kicked in the scramble-fest. His tooth on the other hand...well, knee'd and not kicked if we're being specific. Still, Karo is both an elite combatant and a top shelf personality. He's the kind of fighter who you want to see fight whether or not you like him. I don't know much about Lombard except that he's in for a rough night come UFC 78.
The UFC's latest marquee addition, Wanderlei Silva, a former teammate of Rua's, is the leading name to be mentioned following Griffin's upset of Rua. The possibility of that fight, however, appears to be questionable.
Silva was expected to face Chuck Liddell on Dec. 29, but that was before Liddell was defeated at UFC 76 by Keith Jardine. On his website Monday, Silva stated that he now wants to fight Griffin after Griffin defeated his friend Rua in Anaheim.
Griffin, who specifically asked for the fight with Rua, suffered a large cut on his forehead during the fight, however, and required stitches to close the wound. Because of the injury, a fight between Griffin and Silva on Dec. 29 may not happen either.
The UFC has planned on Silva debuting on the late December event in Las Vegas.
"It kind of would, yeah," said Griffin about a December date with Silva being too soon. "I'd love to fight him if I didn't have a giant hole in my face right now.
"We were in the hotel lobby and I was doing an interview with someone and they're like ‘Wanderlei just said he wants to fight you' and I was like ‘Right now, really, right now? He wants to fight me? I know he's a Chute Boxe guy, but right now?' And they were like no, no, no … in December."
I would love for this match to happen but I don't think Griffin will be ready to fight come December. Rua's elbow casted the killing curse on Forrest's forehead leaving a mark rivaling Harry Potter's scar. If Griffin vs. Silva does somehow come together for the December card it needs to be for the #1 Contender to "Rampage" Jackson's Light Heavyweight belt. The other option for Griffin, in my mind, is a rematch with Jardine for the honor in early 2008.
Fresh off his victory over Din Thomas at Fight Night XI, Kenny Florian announced his future intentions earlier today:
"As I am committed to becoming the best 155 in the world, next week I will resume my training. Although, I won't be taking time off from training, I will be taking time off from fighting. Most likely, I will be fighting sometime early next year (probably February) and look forward to another challenge."
The Massachusetts native deserves some time off. Three fights in five months is no joke even when you go 3-0 as Florian did in his bouts against Dokonjonosuke Mishima (4/5), Alvin Robinson (7/7), and Din Thomas (9/19). There are a ton of great opponents in the Lightweight division who will be available when Kenny returns in 2008. Personally I'd love to see him face Joe Stevenson or Tyson Griffin. Din Thomas also deserves a rematch whenever he's healed from his knee injury.
Nick Diaz has been hospitalized with a severe staph infection that he contacted a few days prior to his EliteXC fight. He was admitted to the hospital when he arrived in Las Vegas to watch his brother's fight. He has been on an antibiotic IV since Tuesday and will probably remain so through the weekend.
The waning moments of 2007 are around the corner and something as simple as "staph infection" continues to plague gyms across the nation. We can transplant hearts, stop cancer, and clone animals, but we can't find an alternative to Lysol. Nice. Get well Nick Diaz! Your friends at "N.O.R.M.L." wish you a blazing fast recovery!
UFC.com has officially announced Josh Burkman (19-4) vs. Forrest Petz (18-4) for UFC 77: Hostile Territory. UFC.com has also confirmed that Alan Belcher (10-3) will be fighting Kalib Starnes (10-2-1) at UFC 77 (on October 20th).
UFC 77 looks to be a decent card. I'm intrigued by Rich Franklin's attempt to avenge his facial deconstruction at the hands, and kees, of Anderson Silva. Who won't be jacked the first time Silva attempts to lock Franklin up in a Thai Clinch? I also like Brandon Vera taking on Tim Sylvia. I'm a little worried Vera might be hesitant to throw after such a long layoff, and we all know Sylvia's no workhorse in the Octagon, so it certainly has the potential to be a tentatively contested three-round snoozefest. Still, I have faith in Brandon's earlier fighting style which calls for lots of striking and a great ground game for a Heavyweight. Burkman should dominate Petz. Belcher vs. Starnes should be very competitive. Still, I'm unsure of how far either man can go in the UFC Middleweight division which isn't saying much considering how thin it is. Speaking of 185 pound fighters, there's also talk of Jason MacDonald facing Yushin Okami at UFC 77. If this goes down I look for Yushin to dominate. I don't believe the slick Canadian, MacDonald, will be able to deal with Okami's strength in the same way he had trouble against Rich Franklin (and other fighters have had against Okami).
Matt Hamill posted the following on his website (in reference to a rematch with Michael Bisping):
"While training for UFC 75 I developed a knee issue. My knee would lock up whenever I bent it past parallel. I was able to work through it and wanted to wait until after UFC 75 was over to get it taken care of… The day after I returned from UFC 75 I had a consultation with one of the best orthopedic surgeon's in the country… It was a relatively minor arthroscopic procedure. I was diagnosed with a partially torn meniscus. This is why my knee was locking… I am happy to say that on 9/20/07, I underwent successful arthroscopic surgery to remove the torn piece of the meniscus. I am feeling better already and began my 2 to 3 weeks of rehab before going back to full time training. The UFC did offer the rematch in November which I would love to take, however it's just too close and I don't want to rush it. I did tell the UFC that I would be ready by late December and would love to do it in Vegas on 12/29."
Everyone wants to be in Vegas for New Year's Eve apparently. If Hamill's doctors clear him to fight, and he really wants to face off against the UFC's UK poster-boy in December, then I'm all for it. I seriously doubt Michael Bisping will turn down the opportunity to attempt a better showing than he did in his very questionable win at UFC 75 as long as he's also healthy. This would be a good bout for the Ultimate Finale 6 card given the feud between both men dating back to their stint of TUF 3.
Chute Boxe fighter Evangelista "Cyborg" Santos confirmed that he would return on Dec. 1 to the Cage Rage promotion. He has signed to fight Golden Glory fighter Paul Cahoon.
I suggest people who aren't familiar with Evangelista Santos get their hands on a few of his fights. His epic brawl against Melvin Manhoef is a goot starting place. He's not the greatest Mixed Martial Artist, suffering from both a general lack of strategy and conditioning, but he's the kind of guy who fights to either knockout his opponent or end up face-down himself. "Cyborg" also has a very unique look. It's almost as if he stepped out of a "Street Fighter" game or perhaps a Don "The Dragon" Wilson movie.
Former UFC welterweight champion Matt Hughes says he will likely fight no more than "two or three" times in the UFC before retiring from the sport.
The comments were made in a teaser for the third episode of "The Ultimate Fighter: Team Hughes vs. Team Serra," the latest installment of the Spike TV reality series. Various media outlets received an advanced copy of the season's second episode, which contained the teaser.
Now that I've seen the tease a few times courtesy of repeated airings of TUF on Spike TV I'm not so sure I believe Hughes is referring to actual retirement from the Octagon. It comes off to me as being in the context of Hughes telling a story about something earlier in his career. I get the impression it's a case of clever editing by the production staff. I guess we'll all have to tune in this week to find out, i.e. another reason to believe it's an editor's trick.
If Matt Hughes was to retire after a few more fights it would be interesting to see who his final opponents would be. Georges St. Pierre and Matt Serra are the obvious selections. Perhaps BJ Penn or Jon Fitch in the third slot? Actually, given Randy Couture's retirement and then return to glory (plus subsequent annointment to god-like status in the MMA community), it might just be the kind of scenario Matt Hughes' ego has dreamt up for himself.
In speaking with a representative with American Top Team, 411mania has learned the latest on Din Thomas and his injury situation. Din faced Kenny Florian on September 19's UFC Fight Night on Spike TV, losing by rear-naked choke after sustaining an injury while shooting for a takedown.
After having an MRI, doctors have determined that Din tore his meniscus, bruised his femur, and stretched his ACL. Din is currently set to have surgery in two to three weeks.
The talk is that Thomas is going to miss four months as he rehabs from the injury he sustained at Fight Night. It's always a shame to see a fighter go down for an extended period of time. Din is one of the sport's good guys, both entertaining in and out of the cage. Hopefully his recovery goes off without a hitch and he's back in the Octagon doing "The Chills" dance after a win.
J-ROCK, which is Kazuhiro Nakumura's management team issued a press release on Thursday firing back at the California State Athletic Commission. The company released a statement on behalf of Nakamura, denying that he was guilty of using marijuana and that they are appealing the ruling. They want a drug test re-examination and are considering the current ruling a mistake.
It's come to the point where fans are expecting at least one positive drug test result when an event takes place in California. It's a comment on both the state of Mixed Martial Arts and the CSAC. I like how the standard suspension time for a fighter testing positive for marijuana is approximately four months. Just about the time guys usually take to prepare in-between fights. Nice how that works out, isn't it? I suppose there's a possibility some supplement Nakumura uses during training might possess THC (the active ingredient in marijuana), especially given the looser rules he's used to training under in Japan. I just don't see Kazuhiro sparking up a doobie and mellowing out to some Pink Floyd...
The Ultimate Fighting Championship® today announced that it held the number one selling sports DVD in the nation for the fourth week in a row, as reported by Nielson Videoscan week-ending September 16, 2007. UFC 69: SHOOTOUT, which took place April 7, 2007 at the Toyota Center in Houston, went straight to the number one position in its first week out. UFC 68: THE UPRISING has held the number two spot for the last three weeks after holding the number one spot previously for two weeks.
I'm not surprised at all. Is there really any other competition besides World Wrestling Entertainment? Steroids, Speedos, and hot-dog oil with a pre-determined finishes or real, action-packed bouts between exceptionally skilled athletes where anything can happen.....hmmm....which one to choose...
American Top Team, one of the premier mixed martial arts camps in the world, recently announced the addition of Yves Edwards to their team. Edwards has fought all over the world for a number of promotions including both the UFC and PRIDE.
It's good to hear Yves Edwards is still out there competing. He may be somewhat polarizing, but Edwards is always entertaining and one of MMA's classic personalities. ATT is a great unit and the relationship between Yves and their group will be mutually beneficial. Honestly, the last time I saw the self-professed master of Thugjitsu fight, his dome was busy spurting blood against Joe Stevenson at UFC 61. Apparently Edwards has lost twice since so the move to American Top Team could be a blessing sans disguise.
During the live broadcast of Strikeforce at the Playboy Mansion, Renato "Babalu" Sobral joined for commentary and stated he'd signed a contract with Strikeforce.
UFC's loss is Strikeforce's gain. I already stated my thoughts on Babalu in this news report. I think it's a great move and brings another recognizable name to the ProElite talent pool.
Mirko Cro Cop recently underwent nose surgery for a deviated septum. The deviation was obstructing his intake of oxygen. This is said to be the reason that he was gassed in his last fight against Cheick Kongo.
Did Mirko start training with Brazilian Top Team?!? An excuse like this seem to imply so. I have a hard time buying a deviated septum as the cause for Cro Cop's fatigue against Cheick Kongo. It wasn't as if Mirko was cruising through the first two rounds of the fight. He got outworked and still isn't used to the Octagon. I have a feeling Kongo's offense had a little something to do with the obstruction of Filipovic's oxygen intake.
In a recent interview with a Brazilian newspaper Shogun Rua announced that he tore a ligament during his training for the Forrest Griffin fight at UFC 76. He is set to have surgery on the knee on September 28. He will miss up to 3 months of training, but mentioned he hopes to fight again in January or February.
September hasn't been a good month for knees. It's good to hear the injury isn't major and won't recover an extended period for rehabilitation. I suppose it's possible it could have affected Rua's training, or fight against Griffin, but I'm not buying that line of thinking. My instinct is Shogun underestimated Forrest as well as the impact a change to the UFC would have on fighting. I'll be very interested in finding out who Rua's return bout will be against.
From The Ultimate Fighter (Episode 2)..
Matt Arroyo def. Dorian Hughes - Submission - RD1
Dorian Hughes has the personality of a UFC fighter so I'm confident we'll see him again come Ultimate Finale time. That being said, I was impressed by Matt Arroyo as far as not only his attitude, but his ground game and ability to recover. The knee he took in the opening seconds of the fight was brutal!
Mac Danzig is definitely the stand-out so far. He's a class act based on what I've seen so far and brings a lot of skill, and heart, into every fight. Danzig is the kind of kid who is good for MMA. Joe Scarola is a meatball. Being on TUF is an incredible opportunity to secure his future in the UFC. It's something thousands of guys across America aspire to participate in. At this point I'd rather they threw him off the show than allowed him to voluntarily leave.
Matt Hughes' Sunday School was inappropriate. I have no problem with his faith or enthusiasm about sharing it with others. However, I thought his "Bible Study" session was disrespectful to guys there who were not necessarily Christians, and I'd be surprised if there was a scene left on the cutting room floor where Hughes asked what religions (if any) his team practiced.
From "Strikeforce at the Mansion"...
Daniel Puder def. Richard Dalton - Judges' Decision
It's good to see Puder get a win but I don't think he's anything special. His fifteen minutes of fame are on life support...
Josh Thomson def. Adam Lynn - TKO - RD1
Thomson is a solid Lightweight who I'd like to see make a return to the UFC. He's 1-1 in the Octagon but holds career wins over Duane Ludwig, Rob McCullogh, Hermes Franca, and went a hard twenty-five minutes against Clay Guida in March 2006.
Bobby Southworth def. Bill Mahood - TKO - RD1
Mahood apparently tapped out due to broken ribs sustained during the fight. While his days in the UFC are probably long behind him, I'm somewhat surprised Southworth never got more of a chance to build off his TUF fame. I've never really liked him as a fighter but he was memorable enough on the show to where I wouldn't have minded seeing him compete more than once before moving on.
Joe Riggs def. Eugene Jackson - TKO - RD1
Good to see "Diesel" pick up a win. Jackson was coming off of a three-fight win streak so that says something about his ability. Riggs was the superior fighter walking into the ring and it's no surprise he came away victorious. He's another guy I'd like to see make his way back into the Octagon.
Gilbert Melendez is the best 155 lbs. fighter the mainstream MMA fanbase hasn't ever heard of. He mashed up Kato's face in this bout while dealing with the adverse effect of a hand injury. Melendez trains with the Diaz brothers and Jake Shields at Gracie Jiujitsu in California so he prepares with some of the best in the game. "El Presidente", Dana White, needs to find a way to sign "El Nino" post haste.
That does it for a review of the past seven days in MMA news. As promised, I will now turn the remainder of this column over to the newest sensation in anonymous sources and insider rumors. Join me again next Monday, as I'm positive the upcoming week will be filled with a wide variety of tidbits meriting some commentary. In fact, you may even find out about a few stories around the corner, but unknown to the majority of the world, by continuing to read on....
DISCLAIMER: The views expressed below reflect those of its author and do not reflect those of the 411Mania MMA Zone or this website. All words beyond this disclaimer will be perused at the reader's risk! 411Mania cannot be held liable for hurt feelings or any soiling of underwear incurred as a result of an individual's voluntary decision to read the jaw-dropping morsels therein.
These answers and more are right around the corner! In three...two...*dramatic pause*...one!
Hola BFFs (Bobby Fabulous Followers)! Thank you all for joining me, new and old, and by that I mean barely legal and barely breathing. By your lack of hate mail I'm assuming you've found my rumors insightful and often as accurate as those more commonly reported by those less Fabulous than me. If this is your first time curling up with...MMAccess Hollywood...then I'll keep this short like Britney Spears' natural hair so you can move on to the sizzle of my column as quickly as possible. I cover insider information people ***REALLY*** care about. You know, lifestyle-related gossip instead of injury reports and contract signings. Mainstream Mixed Martial Arts news tends to be quite drab so I try to Beadazzle it with a rainbow of colors for your enjoyment. Speaking of which, enjoy!
Black Eyes and Little Blue Pills
According to a Los Angeles makeup artist I play Literati with on Yahoo Messenger, there was rampant use of Viagra amongst the crowd at the recent Strikeforce event taking place at the Playboy Mansion. High levels of the drug were seen circulating in the area of Hugh Hefner's entourage. Fear not MMA fans, for I also have an anonymous source at the CSAC who has informed me they will not be testing for use of Viagra. It is being stated that the E.D. assisting pill is not considered to be "performance enhancing" in nature though many Playmates in attendance disagreed with such an assertion. I'm on the Bunnies' side. After all, Viagra certainly is an "upper", is it not?
Shirtless in Chicago
For those who missed it, former UFC Heavyweight Champion Andre Arlovski appeared last week as a guest security guard on the Jerry Springer Show. "The Pitbull" resides in Chicago where the long-running syndicated talkshow is taped. The show dealt with three obese trailer park residents who lived like pigs, each man as comfortable smearing jelly on his own chest as he was devouring it by the spoounful. Unfortunately Arlovski did not have to restrain any guests and seemed relatively shy until the very end of the show when the audience submitted questions. Andre's girlfriend stood up and convinced him to disrobe from the waist up. Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to announce a source of mine in Chicago has texted me confirmation that Andre Arlovski ***WILL*** be joining the Springer show as a full-time security guard and will do so shirtless on every episode!
Wait...I just got another text from him...apparently I've left my TiVo recording of the episode on repeat and it's been showing the same segment over and over. I guess I lost track of the other details after Arlovski went all "300" on the audience. My bad!
Apparently there was more to the helease of Renato "Babalu" Sobral than the extra bit of hot sauce he put on David Heath's submission. According to someone close to the UFC has told me the organization is implementing a ban on all fighters whose names involve a "R" pronounced like an "H". Think it's just a coincidence Royce Gracie only fought a single bout on his UFC comeback tour?
That does it for me! Keep your ear to the canvas-covered street, but know that *IF* it comes to anything slipping through a crack, your favoritist gossiper Bobby Fabulous will be on top of it!