BG Says: PWG Beyond the Thunderdome
Posted by Brad Garoon on 01.24.2008
We just ride giraffes and wear bicycles for hats.
March 18, 2006 Ė Los Angeles, California
Disco Machine and Dino Winwood tackle commentary, and as usual be sure to switch the audio channel over to hear them.
Bino Gambino, Alex Koslov & Topgun Talwar VS. Disco Machine, Nemesis & Ronin
Gambino and Ronin start. Ronin puts Gambino on the floor but Gambino comes back with a headlock. Ronin hits a forearm. Gambino hits a head scissors takedown. They trade armdrags and Gambino hits a legsweep for 2. Disco and Koslov tag in. Disco does a Russian dance so Koslov kicks his head. Disco hits a dropkick and a back bodydrop. He gets a roll up for 2. He gets a jackknife pin for 2. He hits a head scissors takedown and kicks Koslov to the floor. Nemesis and Talwar tag in. They have a super posedown and then lock up. Something goes wrong before Nemesis hits a bodyslam and an elbowdrop for 2. Talwar puts on a sleeper hold and tags to Gambino. They hit a double back elbow. Gambino hits a monkey flip. He hits a butterfly suplex for 2. Koslov tags in and hits a vertical suplex and an elbowdrop for 2. Talwar tags in and gets caught with a neckbreaker. Ronin tags in and chops Talwar down. He hits a running forearm for 2. Disco tags in and hits a bodyslam. He hits an elbowdrop for 2. Nemesis tags in and hits a bodyslam. He drops Disco onto Talwar for 2. Ronin tags in and puts on a chinlock. Talwar fights out and tags to Koslov. Disco tags in and slugs him down. He hits a clothesline and a snap suplex. He hits a huge DDT. He hits the ugliest tiger driver ever for 2. Gambino hits him with an enziguiri and a butterfly slam. Nemesis hits Gambino with the Death Penalty. He and Disco hit stereo suicide dives onto Koslov and Gambino. Ronin hits Talwar with a forearm and the DVD for the win at 14:08. This was fine, but these gay six-man tags (thatís what PWG is calling them) have no point whatsoever. After the match Koslov lays out Gambino with a superkick and helps Ronin beat up Talwar. Disco and Nemesis try to cool Ronin down but he responds by beating the crap out of them. Maybe we can get an angle at this end of the card now.
VS. TJ Perkins VS. Mr. Excitement
Excitement and Perkins are wearing very similarly patterned tights. Itís Zebra vs. Tiger, in a manner of speaking. Perkins hits an armdrag to start. Excitement goes after his leg so Perkins hits a vertical suplex. Excitement grabs a front facelock but Perkins counters to an armbar. Perkins holds a cravat and hits a kneedrop for 2. He hits a head scissors takedown and Excitement bails. Back in the ring they knuckle up and Perkins hits a monkey flip for 2. He puts on a stranglehold but Excitement comes back with a back suplex. Excitement hits a bodyslam and a pair of elbowdrops. He comes out of the corner with an elbowdrop for 2. He hits a butterfly suplex for 2. He hits a drop toehold and puts on the Mexican surfboard. Perkins fights back and hangs Excitement in the corner. He hits a dropkick for 2. He hits a slingshot senton for 2. Excitement whips him upside down into the turnbuckle and gives him a purple nurple. Perkins comes back with a brainbuster for 2. He hits a pair of hurricanranas but gets greedy going for a third. Excitement blocks it and hits a backbreaker. He hits the exploder for 2. Perkins gets a roll up for 2. He hits a vertical suplex and a springboard splash for 2. Excitement hits a pair of forearms for 2. Perkins blocks the exploder into the corner but gets stuck in a leglock. He gets to the ropes. They knuckle up and Perkins rolls Excitement up for the win at 14:16. This was pretty dull and Excitement looked blown up two minutes in. The match basically restarted right before the finish too, which was just weirder than all hell.
Kevin Steen comes out and gets on the microphone. After losing to Ryan heís only fallen one rung down the PWG ladder, as tonight heís in a number one contender match against B-Boy. All his life heís only been afraid of one thing. The fans think its Super Dragon, but itís actually black sheep. He pulls out a picture of himself as a three-year-old cowering from a black sheep. Heís going to conquer his fear in So Cal, because Joey Ryan is the black sheep of PWG. Ryan hits the ring and lays Steen out with the PWG World Championship belt. Steen tries to fight back but heís been knocked loopy. Referees help him to the back. How will this affect his match tonight?!
VS. El Generico & Quicksilver VS. Scott Lost & Chris Bosh [Number One Contenders Match]
Before the match Bosh complains about Joey Ryan and Super Dragon interfering in their match on the last show. Lost says heís tired of hearing Bosh complain about them and wants him to simply focus on the match at hand. Playing off of last monthís match Generico catches Lost trying to attack him before the bell and hits him with a leg lariat. He hits a back elbow. He hits a series of armdrags and Lost bails. Generico dives out onto him, getting 2 back in the ring. Quicksilver tags in and hits a back elbow for 2. He hits a dropkick for 2. Lost hits a knee to the gut and tags to Bosh. Quicksilver gets an awesome sunset flip for 2. He hits a hurricanrana. He hits a head scissors takedown and a leg lariat. Generico tags in and gets caught with a neckbreaker. Lost tags in and kicks Generico down for 2. Bosh tags in and bites Generico. Quicksilver tags in but Lost catches him with a gutbuster. Lost hits a vertical suplex for 2. He blocks a standing moonsault with his knees for 2. He hits the Superman Spear and tags to Bosh. Bosh hits a fisherman suplex for 2. He puts on a chinlock. He hits a Stun Gun and tags to Lost. Lost hits an Ace Crusher onto Boshís knee for 2. Quicksilver hits the Silver Slice for 2. Bosh and Generico tag in. Generico hits a back elbow and a clothesline. He hits a back bodydrop. Bosh hits a back elbow but Generico comes back with the swinging DDT. Lost hits Generico from behind but Generico catches him with a dropkick to the head. Lost bails so Generico dives onto his with a springboard moonsault press. Generico climbs the ropes and hits a crossbody on Bosh. Quicksilver tags in and hits a backbreaker. Generico hits the guillotine split legged moonsault for 2. Quicksilver sets Bosh up top and puts on the Cristo. Bosh escapes by dropping Quicksilver down onto Lostís knee. That gets 2. Lost tags in and hits a spear and a northern lights suplex onto Boshís knee for 2. Quicksilver comes back with a boot to the head and Generico hits a Lionsault for 2. Generico tags in and hits a small package driver for 2. Bosh tags in and hits a stunner. Quicksilver hits him with a spinebuster and dives onto Lost on the floor. Generico gets 2 on Bosh. He sets Bosh up top but Lost attacks him from behind. Quicksilver gets in the mix so Lost suplexes him to the floor, falling out himself. Bosh blocks the BRAINBUSTAH but a sunset bomb is beautifully countered to a dropkick. He hits the Yakuza kick and goes for the BRAINBUSTAH again. Lost runs in to cut him off but Quicksilver makes the save. Quicksilver hits Lost with a climbing enziguiri and Generico hits Bosh with the BRAINBUSTAH for the win at 14:58. The way they played off the last match was nothing short of brilliant. The match ran at a slower pace but the breathtaking finish really puts this on par with their previous encounter.
VS. B-Boy VS. Kevin Steen [Number One Contender Match]
Steen still looks out of it. They lock up and trade holds on the mat. Some fan gets annoying so both Steen and B-Boy agree to get in his face. Back in the ring Steen puts on a headlock and starts his own holy sh*t chant. He hits a shoulder tackle for 1. B-Boy hits a dropkick. He hits a leaping clothesline for 2. He puts on a chinlock and dodges a chinbreaker before hitting a dropkick for 2. Steen ducks the Shining Wizard and hits a Gory backbreaker for 2. He hangs B-Boy in the Tree of Woe and hits the Cannonball for 2. B-Boy comes back with a neckbreaker. He chops Steen to the floor. They brawl around ringside until B-Boy hits a back suplex, getting 2 back in the ring. He hits a back elbow and comes off the second rope with a double stomp to the neck for 2. Steen blocks a blind charge and hits a lariat to the back. He hits the somersault legdrop twice for 2. He threatens a boot scrape and pokes B-Boyís eyes. He sets B-Boy up top but B-Boy fights him off and hits a crossbody. He blocks a blind charge and hits Steen with a head scissors takedown. He hits a springboard dropkick sending Steen to the floor. He climbs the ropes and follows Steen out with a moonsault. Back in the ring B-Boy climbs again and hits a kneedrop for 2. Steen hits an inverted lungblower and a senton. He hits another senton for 2. They avoid each otherís finishers. B-Boy hits an enziguiri and a powerbomb for 2. He misses a double stomp but hits the Complete Shot into the corner. He hits a dropkick and a back suplex for 2. Steen hits an enziguiri and the fisherman neckbreaker for 2. He hits the Michinoku Driver for 2. He powers through a backdrop driver and hits a lariat. B-Boy turns the package piledriver into a roll up for the win at 21:29. Like many B-Boy matches, this did little for me. All the head drops at the end didnít put Steen down, which is ridiculous given that Steenís head was in bad shape before the match. A roll up finish was completely out of place in this match. The fact that heís the number one contender now doesnít set my world on fire either.
The Human Tornado vs. Scorpio Sky match is apparently cancelled due to an ankle injury to Tornado (happened at a Lucha Va Voom show). Sky wants him to come out and forfeit in person. Tornado and Jade Chung come out and Sky talks them down. Sky is so disappointed in Tornado that heís pulling him out of his MySpace Top 8. Tornado responds by saying that he already took him off of his Top 8 and he hopes both he and his computer get a virus. He then takes off his jacket and pimp slaps Sky, showing he can compete after all.
VS. Scorpio Sky VS. Human Tornado
Tornado controls to start. He catapults Sky to the floor. He follows him out and beats him about ringside. Back in the ring Tornado hits the House party, using his bad foot to finish him off. Tornado keeps from taking a back suplex but lands hard on his bad foot. Sky hits a chop block to take control. He picks apart Tornadoís leg. Tornado comes back with a cross armbreaker but a dropkick to the leg quickly puts him at a disadvantage. Tornado fights back with right hands. He hits a dropkick but collapses in pain. Sky hits another chop block. He hits a kneedrop on the ankle. He rams Tornadoís ankle into the post repeatedly. Sky gets on the microphone and taunts Tornado while kicking his ankle. At the same time Disco mixes up Sky and Tornadoís names, prompting Winwood to call him a racist for being unable to tell them apart. Tornado comes back with a clothesline. Sky simply goes back to the ankle and hits a shinbreaker for 2. Tornado hits a spinning roundhouse kick. He hits a leg lariat for 2. He hits a vertical suplex for 2. He hits a Yakuza kick and Sky bails. What the hell is going on here? Tornado follows Sky to the floor with a dive off the top, getting 2 back in the ring. Sky grabs an anklelock but Tornado gets to the ropes. Sky grabs Tornadoís crutches from Chung and goes for an ankle shot. Chung grabs them back and Tornado hits the Pimp Slap. He goes for the DND but Chung hits his ankle with the crutch and Sky puts on the anklelock for the win at 12:47. Tornado hitting all those kicks and a vertical suplex at the end kind of took me out of what was a really dramatic match up to that point. The Jade Chung heel turn was effective however. After the match she reveals that she aligned herself with Sky because she sees more talent in him than in Tornado.
Highlighting the EXTRAS button on the main menu will reveal the following backstage shenanigans
Kevin Steen may have lost to B-Boy, but he thinks he would have won had Joey Ryan never laid him out. I disagree Mr. No-Selling Head-drops. Coming up Steen is wrestling Matt Sydal. He lost to Sydal in the Ted Petty Invitational finals, and again blames it on someone else (Arik Cannon this time). He doesnít hate Sydal because heís too nice, but he wishes he hated him. He becomes my favorite wrestler by cutting a Matt Sydal promo. Itís pure gold. When heís done with Sydal heís going after Ryan again.
Joey Ryan brags about beating Chris Sabin. He didnít do it for himself though; he did it for the disabled children in Mesa, Arizona. Now how am I supposed to crap all over him when he says stuff like that?