411's UFC: Wired Report 03.30.08
Posted by JB Lederman on 03.30.2008
Inside: I metaphorically punch you in the brain with the power of the written word. Drew McFedries vs. Alessio Sakara, Tyson Griffin vs. Frankie Edgar, and Jon Fitch vs. Luigi Fioravanti are all on tap for this edition of UFC: Wired!
UFC Wired, aired 3/30/08
Welcome to the inaugural edition of UFC: Wired Recap, wherein I review, repeat, and reiterate a recap show.
Joe Rogan welcomes us to the show. Rogan is incapable of letting his arms hang at his sides, have you noticed? Always flexing the biceps. On tap tonight are three exciting fights: Drew McFedries vs. Alessio Sakara, Tyson Griffin vs. Frankie Edgar, and Jon Fitch vs. Luigi Fioravanti.
First fight (205 lbs): Drew McFedries (4-1 MMA record), MFS student, vs. Alessio "Legionarius" Sakara (14-4).
Notes: McFedries was a last minute replacement for Wilson Gouveia. He fights out of the hilarious-sounding-but-probably-very-boring Bettendorf, Iowa. Sakara is a former professional boxer.
Round One: Your referee is the man with the Italian and Japanese name, Mario Yamasaki. Goldberg notes that McFedries is "a bigger version of "Ruthless" Robbie Lawler." Oh, boy. That's some endorsement. Both men swinging away for the first thirty seconds. McFedries is an arm-puncher, while Sakara, as he should, looks much better in the pocket. Sakara is the superior striker. To make me a liar, McFedries lands an uppercut! Sakara falls to his back and tries to pull guard. He stands back up. Looking more comfortable, Sakara starts to open up with standing strikes. A straight right knocks out McFedries's mouthpiece! Sakara with tough body shots. McFedries is bloodied up. Sakara lands combos against the cage and he is just teeing off here. Ha attempts a single-leg takedown while Randy Couture (on color commentary) questions the strategy, as Sakara is dominating the standup. Break in the action. McFedries yells for his mouthpiece. Yamasaki calls time and someone from McFedries's corner hands the piece back to him. McFedries lands two kicks to the body. They are exchanging blows. McFedries with a body lock into a takedown. Sakara fights back to his feet and is still dominating the standup, but the amazingly punches do not seem to be affecting McFedries. He starts to open up and lands an uppercut! Sakara does the MMA version of the Flair flop, as he falls to his back a full second after the punch landed. McFedries punches and begins landing big shots! Yamasaki stops the fight! Sakara was just exhausted and laid down and gave up the fight. McFedries, also exhausted, falls to his back in the center
Winner: Drew McFedries, TKO, 4:07 of round one.
Now, because I had to watch this commercial TWICE while recapping this show, you, too, have to watch it! I have helpfully included the transcribed lyrics.
Mi gente, Optimum Triple Play is in the house!
IO Digital Cable
Watch a lot of channels, whenever you're able.
HD is free, let me put it on the table
For $29.95, you get designer label
877-393-4448!
Optimum Online, so fast so fine,
dial-up and DSL ....you gonna leave it behind.
C'mon mi gente, let's get online
For $29.95, it'll blow your mind.
877-393-4448!
Optimum Voice, call your mom, call your date
Call all you want from state to state,
Puerto Rico and Canada just one flat rate.
For $29.95, do I have to translate?!?
Remember you can get Optimum Voice Worldcall
Talk with anybody in the world, so call!
(spoken by retarded sea serpent)
877-393-4448!
The savings are for real,
The Triple Play is the deal.
Gustamos.
Suck on that.
Second fight (155 lbs): Tyson Griffin (8-0 MMA record) vs. Frankie "The Answer" Edgar (and man with two first names.
Notes: Battle of the undefeated lightweights! If you asked "The Answer" what the fastest animal in the world is, he would say "the cheetah." Griffin looks really big for a '55 pounder, with a huge trunk. Rogan weirdly says that if Griffin were a girl, he'd have a "badunkadunk." Is that the right way to spell that? Edgar looks in great shape.
Round One: Standup to start. Edgar stays in the pocket and moves well. Griffin looks a bit more clunky. In a neat move, Edgar fakes a shot, pulls up and lands a left uppercut. He catches a leg kick and takes Griffin down. Griffin tries a guillotine, but Edgar transitions to side control. Rogan notes that a guy would not tap out to a guillotine in side control "unless he really sucks." Griffin works to his feet and tries a double-leg on Edgar. Both men scramble and transition with neither getting the better of the other. Both back to their feet and they exchange again in the center of the ring. Interesting sequence when Edgar tries a Superman punch, Griffin counters with a knee, and Edgar is so fast that he grabs the leg and takes Griffin down again. Edgar is in Griffin's guard. Not much damage being done. Both men back to their feet. The previous Superman punch/knee sequence is repeated but without the takedown. The round ends with both men exchanging on their feet.
Round Two:
Griffin lands an uppercut that sends Edgar into the cage, though it was almost more of a push with a closed hand than a damaging strike. Edgar looking for a hip toss. He is warned for grabbing the fence. Both men on their feet as they separate. The speed of the fight is slowing from the torrid pace of the first round. Edgar catches a leg kick and turns it into a takedown. He is in Griffin's guard. Griffin is looking for a kimura. Edgar transitions to Griffin's back and is landing hammerfists. Both men stand up. Griffin tries three consecutive leg kicks. One lands, one is checked, and the third knocks Edgar off his feet! Edgar stands up. He catches another leg kick and takes Griffin down again. They scramble, and Griffin again looks for the kimura. Scramble again and Tyson now has Edgar's back. He tries a suplex but ends up dragging Edgar down instead. Edgar scrambles to the mounted position! He is landing some shots. Griffin gives up his back. The round ends with Edgar in Griffin's half guard, landing punches as the crown cheers.
Round Three:
Both men look exhausted. Griffin is now throwing arm punches with no real power. They accidentally butt heads, no damage done. The pace has slowed considerably. Edgar tries a knee and the top of his foot connects with Griffin's groin! He grimaces in pain as the insensitive jerk Mazzagatti says, "Fight on!" Does he not have man parts? Edgar now pressing and trying to take advantage! Griffin fights him off and seems to have recovered. The round is nearly over as Edgar lands a double-leg and takes Griffin's bacl. Griffin rolls through for a kneebar! It is sunk in deep. Edgar will not tap! Griffin traps his foot under the arm for even more leverage and cranks! Edgar still not tapping! He lands hammerfists to Griffin's thigh as the round ends. What a fight! Buffer announces the winner.
Winner: Frankie Edgar, decision, 29-28. 30-27, 29-28.
30-27 seems wrong. There's no way Griffin lost all three rounds. The decision, however, is correct.
Third fight (170 lbs): Jon Fitch (17-2 MMA record) vs. Luigi Fioravanti (11-1)
Notes: Fitch won his last 11 fights. Fioravanti had previously defeated Dave Menne, former UFC Middleweight Champion.
Round One: Not much action as both men feel the other out. About 90 seconds in, Fitch scores a takedown and ends up in guard. Not much happening as Fioravanti effectively neutralizes Fitch's offense. Some standup, nothing much lands. The round ends with Fitch pressed up against the cage by Fioravanti.
Round Two:
Fitch picks up Fioravanti for a big slam, but Fioravanti grabs the top of the cage! The blow is considerably softened. He is warned. He fights back to his feet. They scramble as Fitch takes Fioravanti's back, looking for a choke. He lands some lefts to the ear. He gets a body triangle! Fioravanti spits out his mouthpiece as Fitch continues to work for the choke. He cinches it in and that is all!
Winner: Jon Fitch, rear naked choke, 3:05 of round two.
That's all for this week. Shout out to Kyle C., the self-proclaimed "Toughest man on Long Island," though I'm pretty sure I'd kick his ass. And yours, too, for that matter. It's been proven that watching MMA makes you ten to twelve percent tougher than the average person.
See you in a few days with a recap of UFC Unleashed.