Punch Drunk Hangover 06.02.08: Must See TV or Prime Time Crime?

Posted by Bren Oliver on 06.02.2008

Read ahead for Bren Oliver's thoughts on EliteXC's memorable maiden voyage on the CBS airwaves, the ever-changing UFC 85 card, Dana White's bullheaded satisfaction with the UFC roster, Jamie Varner's first WEC title defense, and Karo Parisyan's addition to UFC 87 making an already-great show even better. Those things and more, plus this week's "Monday Morning Moment of Zen" featuring JZ Calvancante and Joe Lauzon are all just a click away!





Good morning, afternoon, evening, or whatever in-between time it is that your eyes have found their way to the Punch Drunk Hangover! As is the case every week, I'm here with another one-stop shop for catching up on Mixed Martial Arts news, hoping as always to help you escape from the doldroms of an average Monday by giving you a good grab in the nether-regions to wake you up and make your day that much more exciting! Have no fear...the technique is Bas Rutten approved!!!





Mixed Martial Arts' network television debut is in the books and by most accounts it was a relative success. From what I've heard, the early ratings are coming back positive, with viewership increasing from start to finish and the second-half of the EliteXC/CBS event being the most watched show during its time period. While I wouldn't give the broadcast a blue ribbon, I will say that the turnout where I watched the card was nearly twice what it is for the average UFC PPV. I'll also add there was a friend-of-a-friend there who was a boxing fan, but had never watched a MMA event, and he said he was very impressed by the athleticism, technique, and lack of violence comparitively to what he expected to see. So, in my own personal experience, I would concur with the overall "thumbs up" in terms of what I assume EliteXC and CBS hoped to achieve.

There are clearly areas EliteXC/CBS could improve in and I don't believe anyone outside of the Shaw Family Tree would tell you the event was perfect. For one thing, EliteXC needs to do away with their dancers. It gives the show a professional wrestling feel moreso than the women coming off as a legitimate sports-related drill team. Choreographed hip-hop routines simply have no place in MMA other than perhaps on "Iron Ring: Season II". I thought Frank Shamrock and Gus Johnson both did an excellent job, with Renallo being as consistent as he usually is, but I found the show a bit "overproduced" and it was annoying fans had to wait thirty minutes before seeing Brett Rogers and Jon Murphy finally step into the circular cage. For a show running two-and-a-half hours, it would have been nice if EliteXC had worked in a way to show a bout from the undercard. After all, who doesn't love an unadvertised opportunity to watch another exciting match between talented fighters? My final criticism of the overall presentation has to do with the fighters' entrances. For a show where production should have been as good as it gets, because we all know what they say about the importance of first impressions, EliteXC/CBS opted for generic music and the same lighting/pyro a regional promotion would put together.

And, of course, there were the fights...


Brett Rogers def. Jon Murphy - KO - RD 1


First and foremost, I was grinning from ear to ear when I saw Brett Rogers was being led to the ring by none other than Christopher "Big Black" Boykins and the rest of the "Big Black" security team! I can only explain Rob Dyrdek's absence as due to an intense training session with Mini-Horse. Back to the fight, Rogers looked a little flabbier than I remember him being in previous fights, but he clearly retained his power and made short work of Jon Murphy. The win was no surprise, as I've been a fan of Rogers ever since sitting next to him for about 2/3 of "EliteXC: Renegade". "The Grim" had destroyed his opponent, Ralph Kelly, in less than two minutes and he came out to watch the remainder of the card. While the conversation I had with him was purely casual, I can certainly say Rogers was soft-spoken, humble, and generally seemed like a very nice individual. The guy is huge, a true Heavyweight in the sense he weighs over 260 pounds, and I believe he has the explosiveness to knock out any fighter he faces.

It seems as though perhaps a bout with Kimbo Slice is in the works, especially given Rogers claim to have knocked out James Thompson on the previous EliteXC card, as well as the war of words transpiring at the post-event press conference between Rogers and Kimbo. Essentially the verbal, and nearly physical, altercation occurred when Brett Rogers referred to Slice's performance as "garbage" and accused him of tapping out in the night's earlier main event. If Gary Shaw puts together a fight between Kimbo Slice and Brett Rogers, I am almost 100% certain Mr. Ferguson would be looking at his first professional defeat. Rogers has comparable striking and power, plus I think Brett would have an opportunity to use his size advantage to outwork Kimbo (as James Thompson was able to for most of two full rounds).


Joey Villasenor def. Phil Baroni - TKO - RD 1


It pains me to say this, but Phil Baroni needs to take a long, hard look at himself after Saturday night in regards to his future in professional Mixed Martial Arts. The reason I feel Baroni needs to consider hanging up his sequinned robe is because he's lost five of his last seven fights, and in his last three bouts he's received fairly vicious beatings. He's now 10-10 and truly at a crossroads in his career.

He's a charming guy, and I think he could have a future in broadcasting given his comfort with the camera, ability to sell a fight, and extensive experience in combat sports. I know Baroni is typically viewed as a meatball, but if you've ever seen his appearances on "Inside MMA", "The New York Bad Ass" is actually a relatively insightful person who speaks with his heart. Baroni would also likely act as an excellent trainer in the proper environment. At 32 years old, he's not quite over the hill in MMA, but as someone who relies on his striking and who has only won half of his professional fights, it's unfortunately looking like Baroni's best days are behind him.

Villasenor looked good in the little bit he was able to show, but was in a way robbed by the stoppage in the night's EliteXC Middleweight Championship fight because it's clear Robbie Lawler and Scott Smith need to lock horns again before the winner can move on to defend the title against other contenders. I personally think a fight between Villasenor and Cung Le would make for some exciting action, as Le is a property Gary Shaw would be wise to unveil in front of a national audience and it would still give "Smokin' Joe" a chance to win a shiny golden beltbuckle (in Le's Strikeforce Middleweight belt). It would also give EliteXC an opportunity to promote their belief cross-promotion is a healthy, essential part of the MMA business. If not Cung Le, I believe Evangelista "Cyborg" Santos was originally scheduled to face Villasenor at the March 29th Strikeforce/EliteXC "Le vs. Shamrock" event, so why not throw in the scary-looking Brazilian to hold Joe over until he can fight Lawler or Smith? Like the Baroni fight, you'd almost be guaranteed a knockout based on the similar striking-based styles of Villasenor and Santos, and we all know KO/TKOs make for good television.


Gina Carano def. Kaitlin Young - TKO - RD 2


I want to start out this segment of the event re-cap to say I don't understand the fuss over Gina Carano weighing in heavy. Save the preaching about double-standards and Carano getting a pass because she's as cute as she is talented, which is to say she rates at a sky high level in both departments. The fact is, there are as many die hard womens' MMA fans visiting this site as there are hairs on Dana White's head. Outside of Gina Carano, and maybe the last two or three women she's faced in EliteXC, I would openly challenge anyone without Google to name three other top female competitors. It's nothing against womens' MMA, because Carano and Young were every bit as entertaining as any of their male counterparts, but the deeply-routed interest in Mixed Martial Arts is clearly focused on the mens' side of the sport. People online were comparing her to Travis Lutter, a fighter notorious for missing weight against Anderson Silva, but I find the analogy to be apples and oranges. One involves a person who fans spent an entire season of the Ultimate Fighter watching, who went from nowhere to a UFC title-shot, and blew the opportunity by coming in overweight. The other involves no UFC Championship, literally the gold standard in the business, plus Gina Carano against someone 95% of the audience had never heard of prior to her being made Carano's opponent. How are those situations close to being the same other than the issue of weight being involved?

What also made me sick were the people who instantly went from adoring the very adorable Carano to wanting her looking like a post-Gonzaga Mirko "Cro Cop", or terminated from her contract, simply because she showed up a few pounds overweight. Was it an embarassing thing of her to do? Absolutely, and I guarantee Gina would agree with every single person who was disappointed in her conditioning. In fact, I'd wager it affected her in a much more personal manner than any individual pretending to be emotionally invested in womens' MMA as a means to verbally snipe her for coming in heavy.

On to the fight, it was nice seeing two women duke it out and I'm not just saying that because I have issues with a few females in my life. Carano and Young put on an incredible performance and, by the end of the fight, left it all inside the cage. I thought Carano's strategy of front-kicking Young paid off, as body shots are an underutilized aspect of MMA, and it was clear Gina's striking was more precise than Kaitlin's though perhaps not as powerful. "Conviction" Carano certainly lived up to her nickname and threw punches with that very quality. I thought I saw a Liddle-esque overhand right or two, plus her jab would have made BJ Penn proud (and Sean Sherk shiver). If there had been more time in the second round I feel fairly certain Carano would have finished the choke. Young, though giving a valiant effort, was overmatched and exhausted. I cannot fault the doctor for stopping the fight as Young's eye looked bad and three more minutes of pounding on it wouldn't have done her any favors. I'm not sure who EliteXC will line up next for Gina, but if I had my choice in the matter I'd give 15-0 Megumi "Mega Megu" Fujii some serious consideration in terms of a super-fight in womens' MMA.

And hey, you didn't think I'd deprive readers of a few event-related GIFs, did ya?





Robbie Lawler vs. Scott Smith - Ruled "No Contest" (Eye Poke)


This was a very enjoyable fight ruined by a bad stoppage, though one it's hard to fault the doctor for making. Smith and Lawler came out throwing as fans expected and, as I felt might be the case, I swear I saw a smile or two of the faces of each man as they exchanged brutal blows. I was impressed that Scott Smith was able to recover from the kicks to his body that came towards the end of the first round, as it appeared Lawler may have broken one of Smith's ribs based on Scott's reaction and way his arm was hanging. When the eventual inadvertent poke to Smith's eye occurred, I thought it seemed minor enough to where things would be set back in motion after a five-minute break, and I was among the disappointed viewers who felt the stoppage was premature. However, by Smith's own admission, he told the official he wasn't able to see out of it. Scott may have wanted the full five-minute period before throwing in the towel, but he risked having the bout stopped the second he mentioned his visual impairment. He would have been better off stating he wanted to wait the full five minutes before answering the question. A rematch betwen Lawler and Smith is inevitable and I'll definitely be tuning in to watch the mayhem unfold whenever it takes place.

On a finishing note, what I disliked even more than the end result was the behavior of certain members of the New Jersey audience who booed sixty seconds into the fight. It made fans of the sport look bad on what was supposed to be a special night for Mixed Martial Arts. You have some serious issues if you can't enjoy a championship clash between hard-hitting strikers without seeing a knockout in the first minute of a bout. Couldn't those morons have just cruised around in their Pontiac Firebirds like usual instead of showing up to embarass MMA by crapping on two warriors feeling each other out in the opening round?








Kimbo Slice def. James Thompson - TKO - RD 3


For starters, what was up with James Thompson's ear? Did he decide to grapple with one-sided protective gear? Was it bitten by some sort of strange, exotic spider? Was he perhaps abducted by aliens and his ear impregnated with their blood-thirsty spawn? No matter the reason, the swollen, cauliflower-going-on-bowling-ball ear was disgusting and the way it jiggled will haunt my dreams for years to come.

Regarding the fight, it was amazing how poorly Kimbo defended Thompson's takedowns. It was clear Slice had the edge when it came to standing but had no answer for James' lackluster ground attack. I understand Kimbo gave up thirty pounds in weight to the enormous "Colossus", which likely added to the difficulty in staying off of his back, but Thompson had no problem controlling Slice on the ground outside of a rather impressive reversal early in the first round. I felt either man could have been given the round, though perhaps I'd give it to the huge Brit based on a guillotine (which some in attendance claim Slice tapped to), but no matter the scoring it was clear Thompson owned the second frame of the fight. He dominated Kimbo and was very close to having the match ended when he secured somewhat of a crucifix position and began to rain down elbows/punches. Some people may have felt the referee should have stopped things, but I personally didn't feel as Slice was taking much damage even though he was clearly immobilized. If Thompson had been able to posture up and rain down strikes I might have seen things differently. In retrospect, I'm sure if the fight had been ended with a few seconds left in the round, people would instead be pissed Kimbo wasn't allowed to sweat out the time and would argue he wasn't knocked out, or even hurt, when the referee called for the bell.

I also have no problem with the finishing sequence. Thompson may not have been nose-down on the canvas but he was out on his feet. In fact, I'm not sure I've seen a better collection of goofy faces than the caricature-worthy looks "Colossus" displayed after getting rocked by Kimbo's brick-like fists. When Thompson's massively swollen ear exploded, I halfway expected tweety-birds to fly out of the wound and start circling his head. James fought with a lot of heart, and he deserves a ton of credit (and maybe even a win) based on his performance, but given the way the fight went I cannot fault the referee for ending it when he did.

As far as Kimbo goes, his conditioning was finally tested and he failed with flying colors. He was beyond winded when it went to the post-fight interview segment and needed his cornermen for additional support in order to stand. His wrestling/jiujitsu was nowhere near the level some fans thought it might have progressed to, though I'm willing to recognize Slice may have reverted to instinct over technique when he realized the bout was not going his way. EliteXC is in an interesting position where Kimbo is concerned. They're running out of semi-respectable, relatively-beatable opponents to feed Slice on his mainstream ascension into greatness. I think Gary Shaw would be wise to make Kimbo's next fight his hardest so the potential loss doesn't look as bad as it might against another fighter of James Thompson's caliber.











Here's the controversial moment where some in attendance are claiming Kimbo tapped, but those at home couldn't see due to a peculiar decision by the production crew to transition into a wide-shot. Some are saying it's due to the plumber's butt Thompson is displaying, and I'd say there's more "conspiracy theory" to the subject matter than there is factual basis, but it definitely was a curious move for the cameras to cut away with a tape delay in effect...



There's my three cents on things - now on to my spin on a handful of other subjects gracing the headlines this past week. I'd love to hear your thoughts so feel free to shoot me an email or leave a comment at the bottom of the page.


The following medley of items were reported between May 26th, 2008 and June 1st, 2008:


Undefeated English fighter Neil Wain has been removed from the UFC 85 card due to a broken nose. Wain will be replaced by Eddie Sanchez who will now be facing Antoni Hardonk on the preliminary card. Sanchez last fought at UFC 79 where he earned a TKO victory over Soa Palelei.

In addition, MMAJunkie is reporting that Kevin Burns will be replacing Ryo Chonan against Roan Carneiro at UFC 85 on June 7th. It's not immediately known why Chonan has been pulled from the card. Burns has a professional record of 4-1 and would be making his UFC debut at the London, England event.


Word is coming out of the Zuffa offices that the company well never-again book a show in the presence of black cats, while underneath a ladder, or after Dana White slaps around an elderly gypsy woman. When the headlining bout undergoes three transformations before landing at Hughes vs. Alves, and only about a third of the originally scheduled fights are taking place, I don't think I need to go into any more detail other than to say UFC 85 has had the worst luck of any MMA event in recent history. Chonan and Wain being removed from the card is merely another example of the black cloud that's been floating over the UK show since it was initially announced.

I think Burns and Sanchez are both suitable replacements, and while his fellow Brits would likely disagree with me, I think Wain's injury-based removal has actually provided a better pairing of Heavyweights than would have been the case without Eddie Sanchez being slotted in to face Antoni Hardonk. Don't get me wrong, because neither Sanchez and Hardonk are elite competitors, but their match is more appealing to me than one featuring a debuting fighter in the same way stubbing my toe on a rock is preferential to having it hacked off in a lawnmowing accident. I'd prefer neither to occur, but if given the choice, I'll take a smaller dose of pain in comparison to a bloody stump.


The Visalia Times-Delta is reporting that former WEC light heavyweight champion Doug Marshall has signed with Palace Fighting Championships. Marshall remains under contract with the WEC but was granted permission to sign a one-fight deal with PFC. Marshall has since been added to PFC 9 which takes place in Lemoore, California on July 18th. His opponent has yet to be named.


In the past I've stated I have an issue with Doug Marshall, as I have an intense dislike for his concept of "knocking dead" opponents - to "KD" fighters as opposed to "KO" them. It's nothing against him personally or his skill inside the cage. It's a simple observation on a gimmick he promotes. However, I'm starting to realize Marshall isn't alone in his desire to proverbially kill and maim those he steps into the cage against, as "Razor" Rob McCullough recently stated his interest in seeing Kenneth Alexander's "dead body" carted from the arena after their WEC 34 bout. I understand the sport is violent in nature, and smart fighters know how to self-promote through the media, but I find it highly irresponsible to incorporate death, on any level, into one's gameplan. Not only are fighters genuinely risking their lives, as tragically proven in the case of Sammy Vasquez, but the public relations fallout from an unfortunate combination of a fighter stating his intention to mortally wound an opponent with an actual death would potentially be of a nuclear nature. There are plenty of people in authority who are salivating at the opportunity to get on a soapbox and rally against the evil of MMA. I'd like to see Mixed Martial Artists make an effort to avoid building that very platform by putting as much thought into their soundbytes as they do into preparing for a fight.

As far as Marshall goes, I'm surprised the WEC let him go, because he has a nice following in California and he had won three fights prior to losing his Light Heavyweight title to rising star Brian Stann. He should do well with Palace Fighting Championships, a company who has also recently signed another mildly surprising Zuffa castoff in the form of Heavyweight Jake O'Brien. As I said before, Marshall is popular in Cali, even being a native of the Golden State, and I imagine PFC well set him up with winnable fights in order to please the crowd. If he racks up a win or two, don't be surprised when the WEC scoops him right back up.


DREAM has announced that Mirko Cro Cop will be facing Ralek Gracie in a special-rules grappling match at DREAM 4 on June 15th. The match will not be conducted under mixed martial arts rules.


Um...how exciting? Truth be told, I actually do enjoy submission-grappling matches, because I enjoy the technical nature of Mixed Martial Arts and I also love the crossover encounters the sport produces. Where else can you see, among countless other unique pairings, Matt Serra vs. Takanori Gomi, Matt Hughes vs. Tito Ortiz, or Jon Fitch vs. Jake Shields? Filipovic locking up against Ralek Gracie may not have the same appeal from a finesse standpoint, and it would be out of place on any MMA card other than a Japanese one, but I still think it will be interesting to see how Mirko's wrestling/jiujitsu compares against Rorion Gracie's 22-year old son, Ralek. I remember reading somewhere that Ralek was teaching jiujitsu at a Gracie Academy by age 13. Clearly he is no slouch when it comes to tapping opponents out. "Cro Cop", on the other hand, relies on his striking when it comes to his success in combat sports, and while he may train BJJ with Fabricio Werdum, it's still highly unlikely his jiujitsu skill is anywhere close to Gracie's, a kid who has been learned how to lock in an armbar before mastering his potty training. If submission-grappling isn't your thing I understand, and a quick nap may sound nice if you're watching things unfold live early Sunday morning, but I think people who appreciate the finer points of MMA (such as the Japanese fans in attendance) will enjoy seeing an exhibition of sorts between Mirko and the next generation of Gracie Fighter.


MMAWeekly is reporting that Jamie Varner will be defending the WEC lightweight title against Marcus Hicks on the August 3rd WEC card. Varner last fought at WEC 32 in February where he beat Rob McCullough by TKO and won the WEC lightweight title. Hicks is currently 8-0 as a pro, and 3-0 in the WEC where he has finished all of his opponents with a guillotine choke.


I'm not completely sold on this fight, as I feel McCullough was hosed by Steve Mazagatti in his championship loss to Varner, and I dislike that "Razor" won't necessarily get a chance to avenge his loss to Varner without risk of "The Worm" dropping the title to undefeated Marcus Hicks. If you're wondering what I'm referring to, he-of-the-legendary-moustache allowed Varner a timeout after McCullough rocked him with a punch that sent Jamie's mouthpiece flying. As I understand rules, the fight shouldn't have been paused until there was a lull in action, and at the time Varner was in the midst of potentially getting finished by "Razor" Rob. Then again, my deadline for submitting PDH happens to fall before WEC 34 will be over on Sunday night, meaning it's possible McCullough could lose and make everything I just said a moot point.

Hicks is a worthy contender and has won three WEC fights in a row. He's primarily a ground-fighter, claiming most of his victories by way of submission, so his style is fairly similar to Varner's in that regard. Don't expect a lot of punches, kicks, or knees when it comes to these two mixing it up in August.


MMAJunkie is reporting that former WWE star Bobby Lashley has signed with the American Fight League and will be introduced during the promotion's "Bulletproof" show in Atlanta, Georgia tonight. Terms of the deal were not announced but it is believed to be a non-exclusive deal. His first bout is scheduled to take place in October 2008.


I'm absolutely shocked EliteXC didn't pick Lashley up, though it's still possible since the former WWE wrestler could fight under the ProElite flag since his AFL deal appears to be "non-exclusive". I don't think Lashley will amount to much in MMA, as his amateur wrestling credentials are completely overblown, but Gary Shaw has shown he knows how to build subpar fighters up as being better than they truly are. And, when I say Lashley's wrestling experience outside of the WWE ring is nothing to gawk at, I'm stating such because he competed at a much smaller weight ten years ago than during his period in the WWE. Also, he was not an NCAA Champion, but an NAIA Champion which is a much smaller collegiate athletic organization. Still, if promoted correctly, he still could act as a moderate draw...a mini-Lesnar if you will...and I could see him eventually finding mild success in the Far East where professional wrestling and MMA go together like Peanut Butter and Jelly or, depending on your level of cynicism, Britney Spears and anti-depressants.


Karo Parisyan has confirmed that he will be fighting on the UFC 87 card on August 9th in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Parisyan last fought at UFC Fight Night 13 where he lost to Thiago Alves. Parisyan was originally scheduled to face George Sotiropoulos, but Sotiropoulos has had to pull out due to injury. A replacement has yet to be named.


Headlined by the UFC Welterweight Championship fight between Georges St. Pierre vs. Jon Fitch, UFC 87 is looking like an absolute beast of a card! With Kenny Florian vs. Roger Huerta, Brock Lesnar vs. Heath Herring, Mac Danzig vs. Clay Guida, and now Karo Parisyan added to what should be an oh-so-pleasing smorgasbord of MMA action, it's hard to argue that, barring injury, the UFC's Minnesota debut could be the most entertaining event of the year.

Opponent-wise, Welterweight is such an incredibly deep division it shouldn't be hard to find an opponent for Karo Parisyan who is ready to compete by August 9th. I think the UFC may be holding out on announcing an individual until after UFC 85 when a few relevant 170-pounders compete (Matt Hughes, Mike Swick, and Marcus Davis in particular). I'm not including Thiago Alves in the equation, regardless of how he performs against Hughes, because I believe it's too early for Parisyan to get his rematch. Both are young fighters who should continue to do well inside the Octagon so Alves vs. Parisyan II is a property the UFC should continue to grow until it's co-headliner, if not main event, worthy. Other Welterweights I could see filling the role of Karo's opponent at UFC 87 are Yoshiyuki Yoshida, Matt Serra, or Anthony "Rumble" Johnson.

By the way, what are the odds former Minnesota Governor Jesse "The Body" Ventura makes an appearance at the event? Probably better than the ones for Prince to show up, eh?


Jibber-Jabber:

The following soundbytes were delivered over the past week...

Dana White, in USA Today, gives his thoughts on talent outside of the UFC...

" "There are, honestly, no guys outside of the UFC that I'm interested in right now. When I say that, I mean in other organizations." "


This comment brings a tear to my eye, though I'm not sure if it's because I'm laughing so hard or sad over the notion the UFC's ultimate decision maker's bald head is so dense that he's willing to publically state a lack of interest in signing a single Mixed Martial Artist who isn't already in the UFC. Dana White is truly drinking his own Kool Aid if he believes the UFC is home to the world's top fighters. It may be true to a large extent, but there is an immense group of elite fighters who aren't in the UFC, ranging from Shinya Aoki to Fedor Emelianenko to Andre Arlovski to Jake Shields to "Fill-in-the-Blank".

Then again, perhaps White is speaking with a forked tongue in that he means he isn't willing to commit any more money to fighters outside of the organization when he's looking at potentially a combined 1-4 record in five fights between Brock Lesnar and Mirko "Cro Cop" at a fee of $250,000 per appearance. That's more than a million dollars for a losing record, a fact that would likely leave a sour taste in any promoter's mouth. Throw in Mauricio Rua's performance against Forrest Griffin and perhaps the picture becomes a bit clearer. White simply may be content to use the roster he's got and continue to build his own stars. When you can pay Keith Jardine a jaw-droppingly bad sum like $10,000 to fight Wanderlei Silva, even after "The Dean of Mean" racked up wins over top stars Griffin and Chuck Liddell, I can't imagine it's more appealing to dish out six-figures for some internationally recognized guy who shows up in the Octagon and loses three in a row. Like the stock market, White may simply want a return on his investment when it comes to his product - UFC fighters.


Matt Hughes, during a conference call, mentions that fans should be doubling their "Hughes" intake at some point in the near future...

"This is an unexpected question, I do know that Mark (Hughes) is going to sign a contract with the UFC where he won't compete for anybody else. And that'd be right here coming up. That's all I can really tell you. That's all I can really comment on. There's no fight scheduled, but he is going to sign a contract with the UFC to fight for them and nobody else."




Did the prospect of Mark Hughes in the UFC cause my stomach to churn or was that the bag of Funyuns I just devoured? Double the farmers, double the bull manure. I imagine Hell might be something along the lines of being trapped in a room with the Hughes twins while they take turns giving you wedgies for the rest of eternity. I bet they were troublemakers as children, likely only differentiated by the length of each boy's mullet. But these days, with Matt and Mark Hughes, it's only business up front. There's no party in the back. I have no idea of where Mark Hughes is at in terms of his current conditioning or MMA ability, but I assume it has to be decent given his training with brother Matt, as well as others in that circle of friends such as Robbie Lawler and Matt Hume. It should be interesting, and entertaining (for selfish, snarky reasons), to see how the lesser known Hughes performs when he returns to MMA action. And perhaps I'm being too hard on Mark. After all, for every evil twin, there has to be a good one...right?


EliteXC President Gary Shaw talks to Fightline about putting up Jake Shields against Georges St. Pierre...

"Jake Shields is one of my all-time favorites. He is underrated. He has the passion, and look here's the thing; Dana White runs a pet store. He likes to keep everyone in little cages. I run a jungle. My guys run wild and they fight other fighters and other animals and whatever. So, you know, he runs his company in a controlled environment and I run mine like it should be run. Nick Diaz and Alverez just went down and fought in DREAM. I do co-promotions with Strikeforce. I'm bringing new faces and excitement to MMA. Dana is in the recycling business. And when he gets a good talent like Rampage, he doesn't even know what to do with him. I mean give him a good athlete like Brock Lesnar and he gets him beat in his first fight. To answer your question, I think Jake Shields is a great fighter and I think it would be a hell of a match. We can do it on CBS. It's free. Let the fans see the fight for free. I'll take Shields and they can take GSP. I'll even put on a UFC banner, Dana comes in the cage he gets in the corner of his fighter, GSP, and I'm in the corner of my fighter, Shields. How exciting is that? That's what MMA should be all about."


Isn't Shaw contradicting himself to criticize the UFC for protecting its fighters when he also blasts the organization for putting Brock Lesnar up against Mir - getting him "beat in his first fight"? And furthermore, Kimbo Slice has been coddled in three fights and marketed as a Heavyweight superstar. Isn't that the very definition of a "controlled environment"? This quip from the EliteXC President feels as though he's trying to be the yin to Dana White's yang; he's trying to be another outspoken, rich, fighter-friendly MMA executive, but without the necessary "bleep" every other sentence. It's only a matter of time before he shaves his head and starts wearing skull-n-bones designer T-Shirts. Perhaps it is Shaw's desire to be White's doppelganger that led to EliteXC's head-honcho speaking out of his rectal region?

Shaw's commentary about Jake Shields and Georges St. Pierre fighting each other on CBS is nothing but empty words. It will never happen in the way he proposes, as Dana White is in no need of proving how incredible GSP is or giving a competitor any sense of legitimacy. If Shields and St. Pierre ever fight, rest assured it will be inside the Octagon, and it will absolutely be on a UFC Pay Per View. While I don't disagree with Shaw's assertion of cross-promotional fights being necessary in the sport, and I enjoy the added intrigue they bring to any given match, he's kidding himself if he thinks Dana White is doing anything other than laughing at the thought of cornering GSP at an EliteXC event.


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That's about all she wrote for this week's Hangover. Till next time Punch Drunk buckaroos, here's your "Monday Morning Moment of Zen" - Joe Lauzon vs. JZ Calvancante in an amateur match from early in both fighters' careers.

"JZ" vs. "J-Lau"...





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