The Verbal Submission 07.22.08: T-shirt MMA, UFC: We're Not Panicking, and ProdigyTube
Posted by Chris Robinson on 07.22.2008
July 19th has come and gone, but MMA fans are still buzzing about the events. Fedor is dominant, Silva is dominant, and somewhere, Jesse Taylor is covered in urine. It's a great time to be a MMA fan!
Don't call it a comeback. I was just here last week. This is the latest edition of The Verbal Submission, and I am Chris Robinson. So apparently over the weekend a T-shirt company put on a MMA show, a spider put a sandman to sleep, and Rampage regained his sanity (hopefully). It's been quite the week in the wacky world of MMA, and even though it's Tuesday, and you're probably tired of reading about all the action from July 19th...what the hell else am I supposed to write about! Here we go.
Mistake #1: Never try to out drink a Brit. It just ends up in a car chase with the police. Then your sanity is questioned. What I'm saying is Michael Bisping will ruin your life. And he doesn't call you even if he says he had a good time, and you're special. Look, just don't get involved with a guy like that.
IF A MAINE-IAC FALLS IN THE FOREST, AND EVERYONE SEES IT, DOES IT MAKE A SOUND?
Well WAMMA me surprised! Granted, I completely forgot about the 411 Roundtable due to my new hectic work schedule, but I would've predicted Fedor winning this fight. I wouldn't have expected it to happen in 36 seconds thus making Tim Sylvia look like someone with no formal mixed martial arts training. Good lord! For now, people can say Fedor has finally proven himself against a Top 10 heavyweight. Of course, until he beats Kimbo, he's unproven. Right? That's how it works right?
This is all Fedor did to train for Sylvia. Can't say it didn't pay off.
Two other fights that affected the FUTURE of the heavyweight landscape took place at BANNED. In a twist of irony, none of the fighters were allowed to wear UFC t-shirts. Weird. Andre Arlovski dismantled Ben Rothwell thus proving once again the IFL was full of wonderful gentlemen with sub par MMA skills. Oh no! I've offended IFL fans! I hope all three of them don't get upset. And in a quick side note, here's a quote from the second edition of The Verbal Submission on June 17th, 2008:
SHOULD THE UFC BUY OUT THE STRUGGLING IFL?
The IFL cancelled their August 15th show as the promotion continues to struggle financially. They recently announced the switch to a six sided ring to try and liven up their shows. What are they TNA? I've actually watched the last two seasons of the IFL, and while the fights were somewhat amateurish compared to UFC shows, I enjoyed the team concept. I'm not saying the fighters were all at a lower caliber, but there was a noticeable difference in pacing and action in IFL fights. I came up with an idea though, that if executed, could continue to grow the sport and help the UFC.
It starts off simple. The UFC would buy the IFL.
YOU ALL LAUGHED AT ME! Hate to say I told you so, but this week it was announced that the UFC is looking to buy the IFL. SHOCKING! They've already locked up a couple of their fighters, they've been using IFL footage, and flat out acknowledging that they exist. You folks have to start believing my crazy ideas. Other people do.
Back to Affliction Colon Banned, Josh Barnett avenged his loss to Pedro Rizzo with a solid KO, which pretty much sets up Arlovski vs. Barnett at a future Affliction show, or on a boardwalk somewhere. Poor Ben Rothwell. he should've gone to the UFC. They would've given him a nice easy opponent like a former world champion, or....wait. Damn.
That looks like a great prize package. Hold on....God I hope he cashed that check.
Also on the big T-shirt extravaganzasm, former IFL star Savant "Don't call me Trenell" Young....wait. Former IFL fighter, Savant Young got choked out by Mark "Homina Homina Homina" Hominick. This fight has no bearing on anything, but here's a great pic from the fight courtesy of MMAweekly.com, which is ironic to me because this site is always up. Was MMAdaily.com taken?
Overall, I think the Affliction show was solid. It had all the elements of a good show for me: solid knockouts, some submissions, and a few decent 3 rounders. I would like to see them mix in some more weight classes for future shows, and I've heard that's in the plans. Of course, that might be the UFC sheep in me, but hey, if Dana White says they're not panicking, then they're not panicking. Although, I think someone should still check on Rampage.
Fedor isn't answering one question until you explain why your T-shirt says "Emelianenko, Emelianenkyes"
SILVA vs. IRVIN: I SAID WOW A LOT
Before we talk about the main event, someone want to tell me where I can pick up a Peruvian Neck Tie? Maybe Jesse Taylor can tell me. I'll ask him. Oh I've never laughed so hard. I know some of you will be like "He put his life back together, he's not drinking, blah, blah, blah". Don't care. They shouldn't have let him back for like a year. Oh, but everybody loves a comeback story especially when a guy overcomes adversity. Nope! He disrespected the sport and the UFC just as much as admitted steroid user Hermes Franca. Franca sat out a year, and Taylor should've also. Hit up the "local shows", get some wins, prove you can go a year without kicking out car windows, and then we'll talk. So to see that drunk meathead get submitted by CB Dollaway was just gravy for me. To anyone that disagrees, I don't care!
C'mon jackass, let's see you pee your pants now!
The only disappointing fight on the UFC show was Brandon Vera's win over Reese Andy. First of all, I don't think Reese Andy has a chance at 205. The dude is just small. Second, Brandon Vera needs to learn how to cut weight better. If he had gassed like that against a more game opponent, say a Houston Alexander or a Keith Jardine, he would've gotten knocked the hell out. Watching Reese Andy try to throw punches was like watching the Lollipop Guild try to knock out the Tin Man. Does that reference work here?
Behold the power of my open hand slap to the ribs. I should teach this to Kevin Burns
I also thoroughly enjoyed more karma being handed out as Jersey's own Frankie "The Answer" Edgar pounded out an exciting win over Hermes "Tainted Pee" Franca. Edgar looked overwhelmed by Gray Maynard in his last fight, but in this match he was the one doing the whelming. I hope Edgar gets a match with the loser of the upcoming Huerta/Florian match because he's ready for more top level guys. I'm not saying Franca isn't a top guy, but I am saying that Franca isn't a top guy.
Finally, what is left to say about Anderson Silva. The guy is unstoppable right now. To hell with Couture vs. Fedor, I want to see Silva vs. Fedor in a catch weight fight. Let's stop all this "pound for pound" nonsense and just put them in a cage or a ring, or in a Volkswagen, I don't care. Seriously though, Silva destroyed Irvin, and I have a feeling that some top guys at 205 are going to start calling out Silva more often than not. Imagine Anderson Silva vs. Chuck Liddell, and when your MMA boner goes away, let me know. If it lasts longer than 4 hours, call a doctor.
Pound for pound the gayest glasses he's ever worn.
MMA LIVE on ESPN.com
If you're not watching this show by now, then you either hate ESPN, or you're scared of Kenny Florian. Just watch it. Your girlfriend does. You don't have a girlfriend? Well get one and watch this show with her. KENNY FLORIAN MAKES BITCHES WET.
BJ Penn has too much free time
So as anyone who has checked out my YouTube page knows, my buddies and I produced a web series about MMA and pro wrestling with a comedic twist. Some found it funny, some didn't. Whatever. But during my constant YouTube watching, I stumbled across this video with UFC Lightweight Champion BJ Penn in it.
Now, I don't find this video funny. It's corny. My problem is that if I actually had the chance to make a YouTube video with BJ Penn in it, I would've put a little more time and effort into it. Whatever. I'm just jealous I guess. Watch and let me know what you think.
END OF THE THIRD ROUND
That ends the seventh edition of "The Verbal Submission". The Empire Hardcore Podcast is always available at Podomatic.com and on iTunes. We're going back to just doing shows once a week because my new work schedule is hectic. Did I mention that already? Also, be sure to check out my latest comedy vlogs on YouTube. Also, be sure to head on over to my bloggy blog here. I'll be back next Tuesday with my thoughts on UFC 87, the July 26th EliteXC show, and anything else that tickles my fancy. I know this column was a little light on actual writing, so I'll try to correct that next week.
To choke out a 6'8 monster and become Undisputed World Heavyweight Champion one must play with ducks in a pond.
Posted By: 同一个世界& on July 22, 2008 at 12:15 AM
The Scropion stance! Bj Penn approved, try it out in your next fight and see the difference it makes! Remeber its BJ Penn approved! And he's a prodigy, are you?
P.S. Post Pictures please, vids would be better!!
Posted By: Guest#9025 (Guest) on July 22, 2008 at 12:49 AM
I dunno... I think those glasses make Silva look a little like Saumel L. Jackson...
Anyway, another fine column this week. lol @ Fedor/Kimbo! Seriously, who can stop "The Cyborg"? Couture? Arlovski? Kimbo?
Nope. Fedor will reign as WAMMA champ for as long as he wants.
Good to see that Rampage has come back to his senses... we hope.
Affliction: Banned was a very good showing for a 1st time. I just hope they continue to focus on the Heavyweights and leave the other divisions to the other organizations that have the talent (UFC, WEC, Elite XC, DREAM)
So Long Jesse Taylor. No Big loss to the division... or to the UFC.
I personally feel that despite his *yawn*... oh sorry. Must have dozed off. I mean, his win on Saturday, Vera should go back to the Heavyweight Division and give it 1 more honest run. The division is a wasteland at the moment. And a couple of quality wins, and he'll find himself facing Big Nog.
SO glad Edgar got the win over Franca. Too bad he's behind Griffin and the winner of Huerta/Florian for contention. And I am totally with you that Edgar should face the loser of the fight (Florian I think).
And finally, Forget Silva vs Liddell... Try Silva vs. Silva!!! I'm telling you, Anderson vs. Wanderlai = MANY MANY BUYS!
Great job. See you next week.
Posted By: TVS Reader (Guest) on July 22, 2008 at 08:48 AM
Fedor fights at 230. The Spider fights at 185. Have them meet at 207&1/2 lbs and then we will never have a reason to ever watch anything ever again becasue it will all suck in comparison.
Posted By: guest guest (Guest) on July 22, 2008 at 08:52 AM
If he wants to, Silva can run through the LHW division just like he did at MW. Who´s gonna stop him? Liddell? The Chuck Liddell that went 2-1 against Couture and beat both Babalu and Tito - maybe. Chuck Liddell today? No chance. Rampage - maybe, if he gets himself back together? Griffin - all hail the champ, but... no. Wanderlei - assuming he brings the 'Axe Murderer' who shut out Jardine and NOT the guy who went 0-3 against Crocop, Hendo and Liddell - maybe. I think Machida, with his unorthodox style, might be the biggest threat to the Spider, but even so, I can't see anyone having what it takes to beat Anderson Silva at either 205 or 180.
One day, certainly, someone is going to end that streak, too. But short of Silva making a colossal mistake (a la his match against Okami) I don't see it happening anytime soon.
A. Silva vs Fedor at 215? Someone book that fight NOW!
Posted By: woody (Guest) on July 22, 2008 at 09:14 AM
silva walks around at 220, fedor walks around at 230...uh, why ask fedor to cut weight? if we lived in that fairy tale world where dana wasn't in the way, and silva had the testicular fortitude to challenge fedor, why in the hell would it have to be at a catch weight? Also, why is Silva cutting 35 pounds to fight in an inferior division? 185 has always been a garbage division, with average fighters...so what's anderson afraid of? why doesn't the spider fight at 205? Of course, he could always bulk up and fight at heavy...the dude's taller than fedor! Anderson is getting into that Roy Jones territory with me, where just staying in his own division isn't really going to impress me, mostly 'cause it was always a weak division and he's dominating it...show me something, move up!
Now, i'm going to get lambasted about how great the fighters are that anderson has plowed through....the only great fighter that anderson silva has defeated in his career is hendo...say whatever you want about franklin, leben, lutter, marquardt, irvin...whatever, none of them are great fighters.....at 205 Silva would have the opportunity to fight some great fighters and us fans would benefit the most.
Posted By: romano (Guest) on July 22, 2008 at 10:26 AM
Couple things: Doubtful Silva will fight Wandy or Machida, because they all train together/are good friends, and that was his reasoning behind not wanting to fight Paulo Filho.
Secondly, those aren't ducks Fedor's playing with, they're swans. And I only mention that so that I can work in a Billy Madison reference, which seriously should've been the caption for that photo (alas, half the writers on 411 are apparently 20 or younger):
"STOP LOOKING AT ME, SWAN!"
Posted By: Wyatt (Guest) on July 22, 2008 at 11:33 AM
when the Dana White is openly saying the UFC is not panicking than they are panicking !!
Posted By: Frf (Guest) on July 22, 2008 at 12:36 PM
" Doubtful Silva will fight Wandy or Machida, because they all train together/are good friends, and that was his reasoning behind not wanting to fight Paulo Filho."
Maybe... but it is very possible that both fighters (Wandy and Andy... hey, I may be onto something here!) are looking at a $500,000 payday for the fight... friends or not, money will rule in the end!
I say, Make it happen!
Posted By: Guest#7020 (Guest) on July 22, 2008 at 03:37 PM
Maybe it is just me, but none of the pictures seem to be showing up here. The videos are all intact, but not the pictures. How is Sylvia still a top ten heavyweight? He has dropped 3 of his last 4 fights now, and hasn't fought to win since his rematch with Arlovski? Fedor didn't do anything special by beating Sylvia...
Posted By: Toddo (Guest) on July 22, 2008 at 05:15 PM
Fedor Emelianenko vs Andrei Arlovski Confirmed
Posted By: SLAMCORP (Guest) on July 23, 2008 at 05:17 PM
