Punch Drunk Hangover 07.28.08: Off the Road, Again...

Posted by Bren Oliver on 07.28.2008

Read ahead for Bren Oliver's thoughts on Matt Hughes' injury, Affliction's second show featuring Arlovski vs. Emelianenko, Keith Jardine fighting Brandon Vera at UFC 89, Leonard Garcia facing Jens Pulver at WEC 36, a trio of exciting additions to the UFC 88 card, and his experiences covering "Affliction: Banned". Those things and more, plus this week's "Monday Morning Moment of Zen" featuring UFC Ring Girl Arianny Celeste rolling around with a hot blonde, are all just a click away!




Good morning, afternoon, evening, or whatever in-between time it is that your eyes have found their way to the Punch Drunk Hangover! As is the case most Mondays, I'm here with another one-stop shop for catching up on Mixed Martial Arts news, hoping as always to help you escape from the doldroms of an average Monday by giving you a good grab in the nether-regions to wake you up and make your day that much more exciting! Have no fear...the technique is Bas Rutten approved!!!





Though it would seem an occasional break from pumping out weekly columns would do wonders for restocking one's creative juices, I've found I'm truly a creature of habit and always struggle a bit to settle into the snug underbritches of PDH after taking a weekend or two off. Compounding matters are the three significant Mixed Martial Arts events taking place the weekend before last and my desire to keep my fingertips intact, and my readers awake, as opposed to submitting a 25,000 word breakdown of DREAM 5, "Fight Night 14", "Affliction: Banned", in addition to "EliteXC: Unfinished Business" and all the other goings-on of last week. I'm certain my peers have satisfied your desire for a detailed breakdown of the week-old events, so I'll instead offer a few abbreviated thoughts on the conclusion to the DREAM Lightweight Grand Prix, the Tonya Harding-inspired UFC event on July 19th, and then wrap things up with a glimpse into my surreal personal experience covering "Affliction: Banned" live in Anaheim.

DREAM 5 came with a little less hype than its predecessors, mainly due to its airing live on a Monday morning in America and the lack of overall starpower outside of the Lightweight tournament. I did by best to watch the event live, though I was only a few hours removed from my trip to California for the Affliction event and a bit tired to say the least. I was able to keep my eyelids open for the Semi-Final matches and Hansen's alternate bout against Kultar Gill. I then got a few hours of sleep, woke up for the ill-fated conclusion to the Grand Prix, and quickly returned to the land of numerical sheep, the ability to fly, and Rachelle Leah in a Princess Leia costume being pelted with sweet pickles.

Aoki looked very sharp against Caol Uno, as did his tights, and very much deserved his unanimous decision victory after a physically demanding bout. The "Baka Survivor" may not have taken a lot of damage, but the various transitions, submission attempts, and defensive maneuvering over the entire fifteen minute period had to be grueling on his body. I don't think enough good can be said about Eddie Alvarez after his showing in the Grand Prix. His performance against Tatsuya Kawajiri was inspirational and earned him a well-deserved spot on 155-pound "Top 10" lists everywhere. The last minute or so of their fight was as exciting a period in MMA as you'll find in the sport. Alvarez and Kawajiri each made a subconscious decision to end the fight, whether in victory or defeat, and laid it all out for the Japanese audience to see. Unfortunately, an injury to Eddie Alvarez's eye prevented him from competing against Shinya Aoki. You can now consider me amongst the group of people who dislike the notion of a major championship being awarded in a two-fight, one-night format. DREAM's decision to handle the Lightweight Grand Prix in such a manner resulted in a worst-case scenario where a guy who had lost in the tournament, and ultimately fought an easier opponent than either semi-finalist, took home a title he never should have been fighting for. No disrespect to Hansen either, as he is certainly a terrific Mixed Martial Artist and someone who does not get as much attention as he deserves. The ending to the Grand Prix just happened to stink like a Spicy Tuna Roll left in the sun for a day. Hopefully DREAM 6's conclusion to the Middleweight Grand Prix will run a bit smoother.

I didn't get a chance to watch "Fight Night 14" until early last week and, for the most part, I was not impressed. Steve Mazza-gots-to-go's decision to award Kevin Burns a TKO win over Anthony Johnson was a disgrace. I understand he may have missed the obvious eyepoke when it happened, even though he'd warned Burns about it multiple times before, but he should have been able to make a determination based on replay footage giving Johnson the "Disqualification" win or at least calling the bout a "No Contest". I contacted Nevada State Athletic Commission Executive Keith Kizer about the board's intention to review the fight and the possibility they might change Mazagatti's ruling. His response was that he's "unsure the commission has any grounds to overturn the decision" but will review his appeal nonetheless. Cain Velasquez is clearly the "real deal" and has a bright future in the UFC. As I said in last week's "MMA Fact or Fiction", I see the American Kickboxing Academy Heavyweight continuing to build on his abilities, both learned and natural, and eventually finding himself a UFC Champion. There is no other Heavyweight in MMA at his age who has his size and skill. Dollaway's "Peruvian Necktie" submission of Jesse Taylor was muy impressivo, and showed "Koko the Monkey" has done little to improve since appearing on the Ultimate Fighter Season 7. Frank Edgar looked good, and Hermes Franca looked like a guy who hadn't fought in a year, though I think Edgar will be limited as a Lightweight due to his size and could be Faber-esque were he to drop to 145-pounds and compete in the WEC. Brandon Vera did not look particularly good, though I think he'll improve as he grows more comfortable fighting at Light Heavyweight. He damn well better, given how deep the 205-pound division is, and who his next opponent is rumored to be. And, of course, there was some guy from Brazil fighting in the main event...Ander....hmmm...Anderson...Sil....Silva...or something?!? Perhaps you've heard of him?

"The Spider" is clearly as venomous at Light Heavyweight as he is when smashing in nasal cavities at 185-pounds. The additional pounds had little effect on his physique, as many suspected it wouldn't, and he made quick work of a very tough James Irvin. I honestly believe Anderson Silva could be UFC Light Heavyweight Champion if he received the opportunity, though even then he would likely turn it down with a shy smile on his face and defer to friend and fellow Brazilian Lyoto Machida as the soon-to-be LHW title-holder. Silva may not be as big as Griffin or "Rampage" Jackson, but his striking is second to none and he is certainly tall enough, with a good enough reach, to exchange shots in or out of the clinch. Do you think Forrest's chin would hold up to a flurry of Silva's shinbones, knees, or fists? I certainly don't.

That brings me to "Affliction: Banned", an event that initially flirted with me like a pretty girl who turned out to have a boyfriend, as the super-show went from three-hours away (in Dallas) to two Time Zones away (in California). I remained persistent, but patient, and she came a'callin after a big fight with him and a few glasses of vino - access granted!

For those expecting a rant about a crying baby or annoying passenger in the seat next to me, prepare to be disappointed, as my flight into Anaheim went without incident. I was even lucky enough to have a thirty minute layover in Las Vegas and ended up winning $25 on the airport's slot machines. It was a good thing too, as the cab ride from John Wayne Airport in Orange County to the DoubleTree in Anaheim ran around forty bucks! Well, at least depending on who your taxi driver is, pillllgrim, as the trip back from the hotel only ran around thirty dollars (which I got to split with a producer from HBO Sports who'd worked the Affliction event). The hotel was nice and had clearly been taken over by Affliction. There were banners in the lobby, P.R. representatives fumbling through papers and boxes of T-Shirts, and a number of fighters hanging out in and around the area. I caught Aleks Emelianenko and Randy Couture eating in the restaurant, Frank Trigg schmoozing it up with staff, and Pat Miletich coming out of the elevator looking like no more than your average tourist to those who don't follow MMA. I only had about an hour between arriving in Anaheim and the start of the show so I relaxed for a few minutes, changed clothes for the show, pinched myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming, and then headed off to the arena for "Affliction: Banned"!

Affliction informed the media they should arrive around an hour before the arena doors opened. I had a feeling things might be running a bit behind, plus saw no reason to show up close to two hours before the first fight, so I arrived close to 3:00 Pacific Time. The media were grouped to the side of the "red carpet", no doubt made from the finest crimson material in Southern California so international superstars such as Don Johnson and "Stoned" Steve Austin could arrive to suitable accommodations. I'm not sure if they expected photographers to line up like Hollywood paparazzi and pelt the pseudo-celebs with flashbulbs, but the group of media I observed to all sides was more interested in getting to their seats than gawking at attendees. I happened to bump into 411Mania alum Randy Harrison, now with NoKaut, who seemed to be doing quite well and had a three-person staff in tow. It should also be said two of the three were attractive Asian females who no doubt were good at their jobs (which appeared to be photography and something related to a laptop). I've filed a request for a similar support group, with the third party being a midget, but Larry Csonka won't return my phone calls for some reason. Hmph!

My seat was close to the production center which was on the opposite side of the arena from the entrance ramp, but very close to the media lounge and backstage area, and put me on the floor approximately 30-40 feet from the ring. I was fortunate enough to be in the front row of tables and parked in the midst of a guy from MMARated who kept me updated on "Fight Night 14", a friendly (possibly Arabic) man covering for his friend, and a crabby Russian media representative in his 50s-60s who barked out orders at event security and demanded people not stand in front of their seats. How could it not have been a good time? The Affliction staff treated everyone well, providing media with bottles of water and soft drinks, as well as pulling the unprecedented move of offering food! I suppose we folks in the media are easily swayed, and I'll be damned if the pizza didn't have me appreciating the show a tad bit more...plus wishing I hadn't spent $6.00 on a mediocre hot dog (that tasted quite a bit better due to the draught Bass I drank with it).

The show suffered from a production flub at the start, where Buentello and Goodridge came out to fight (without any sort of real entrance), then stood around for awhile before being told to go to the back and continue warming up. It was at this point I realized my camera was going to run out of batteries and I hadn't had the foresight to bring backups. Live and learn, right? See, what wonders a cute Asian photographer would do for me, Csonka? Anyways, I asked the nearest security person if there was a gift shop in the arena that might have some for sale and she informed me there wasn't, though there happened to be a hotel across from the Honda Center that likely could help me out. I resigned myself to the fact I was going to sacrifice watching a bout in order to take pictures of the bigger fights and immediately headed for the hotel in hopes they might have the four AA batteries my camera requires. It was probably a half-mile jog in the California heat, but I was not about to let an opportunity to take pictures of such an epic event slip away without at least giving it a shot. I walked into the hotel and, as if fate was teasing me, the gift shop had exactly four AA batteries left! I double-timed it back to the stadium, trotted back down to my seat, and inquired as to what action I had missed. Again, destiny winked, and I was informed there hadn't been another fight due to the company setting up to go live on FoxSports! Truly, I was the MMA-version of Forrest Gump in this situation, albeit with less ping-pong skills, and I lucked my dumb self into seeing every fight and being able to take pictures (which you can see here and here.

The fights were as entertaining as could have been asked for, with Vitor Belfort, Josh Barnett, and Andrei Arlovski delivering highlight-reel knockouts and Fedor Emelianenko smashing Tim Sylvia to bits in less than a minute. Lindland, Sobral, and Nogueira were impressive but on a secondary level when compared to the afore-mentioned fighters' performances. The audience was particularly into Belfort, Arlovski, and Emelianenko and their enthusiasm in general added to my enjoyment of the event. So often crowds boo and any lull in action, but the fans in Anaheim seemed to be quite savvy and even cheered a grappling exchange between Matt Lindland and Fabio Negao. I'm not sure if it was audible on television, but there was also a dueling "White-head" vs. "Bab-a-lu" chant going during the Light Heavyweights' three-round brawl. I also have to send my respect out to the Russian fans who were there in large attendance and quite a boisterous bunch. My only criticism of the crowd in Anaheim would have been the abundance of 50+ year old men wearing "Affliction" shirts. Sorry guys, but that's not a good look for anyone approaching AARP status.

There were a number of fighters in the crowd, though I only saw many of them as they walked by as opposed to them mugging for photo ops. In particular, I remember seeing Josh Burkman, Vlad Matyushenko, Heath Herring, Jacob "Stitch" Duran, Chris Horodecki, Jay Hieron, Roy Nelson, Tito Ortiz, Aleks Emelianenko, and Jason "Mayhem" Miller. There was a cool moment I was able to snap a picture of where IFL star Roy "Big Country" Nelson had his girlfriend approach Emelianenko and ask if he would take a picture with him. If you didn't know already, fighters are often fans too. I actually sat within ten feet of Aleks for the majority of the show and had an opportunity to talk to his Sharapova-hot wife for a few minutes. She said that, though he may not have outwardly shown it, Aleks was nervous for his brother as you might expect a sibling to be when on the cusp of a fight. A few other memorable non-fight moments came in the form of Terry Martin's choice of Michael Jackson's "Beat It" as entrance music, seeing Michael Madsen in attendance, dressed from head to toe in black leather as though he'd been dipped in a vat of Hells-Angels-Meets-High-End-Fashion, Fedor Emelianenko saying in the post-event press conference that he was going to Disneyland to check out "Space Mountain", and briefly meeting Don "Sonny Crockett" Johnson. Tom Atencio should also be mentioned here, as he was as hard-working an individual as you could have found that night, and was a constant presence on the floor with his walkie-talkie in tow. It was definitely not a night where he had a chance to sit back and enjoy the fruits of his labor, and I commend him for putting business first instead of sitting ringside and soaking in the spotlight. After the show I made my way back to the DoubleTree, but avoided the after-party going on in the hotel lounge mainly due to my lack of Affliction T-Shirt and overwhelming exhaustion (as my body's internal clock was nearing 3:00 AM due to the time difference between Texas and California). I apologize for not having any pictures of post-event shenanigans, but I am able to provide you all with never-seen-before footage of Anderson Silva and Rashad Evans a UFC shindig...





I woke up bright and early, downed an overpriced breakfast, and started my trek home. There were a few fighters in the lobby, also preparing to fly out, but the group was rather subdued and little worth reporting took place. I hopped on my Southwest flight back to Austin, killed a two-and-a-half hour layover in Phoenix with a superb bacon cheeseburger, a few beers, and ESPN News, and made it home in time to do a bit of laundry and sleep for an hour or two before DREAM 5 fired up from Japan. It was an exhausting 48-hour stretch, and certainly one that put a dent in my pocketbook, but I wouldn't have traded the experience for anything...other than perhaps for one accompanied with a paycheck, travel expenses, and attractive Asian assistants! But seriously, it was an honor to go, I had an amazing time, and I truly owe my thanks to all you readers (and 411Mania) for providing me an outlet with which to spew my MMA-based lunacy that promotions acknowledge as journalism. God Bless America, folks. God Bless America.

There's my three cents on those particular matters - now on to my spin on a handful of other subjects gracing the headlines this past week. I'd love to hear your thoughts on things so feel free to shoot me an email or leave a comment at the bottom of the page.


The following medley of items were reported between July 21st, 2008 and July 27th, 2008:


MMAJunkie.com is reporting that Jens Pulver will face Leonard Garcia at WEC 36 on September 10 at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Hollywood, Florida. The fight is expected to take place on the televised portion of the card which also features Urijah Faber defending his WEC Featherweight title against Mike Brown, as well as Paulo Filho defending his WEC middleweight title against Chael Sonnen.


On paper, WEC 36 is shaping up to be one of the promotion's best shows to date (though I wish Bantamweight juggernaut Miguel Torres was also scheduled for action). Faber vs. Brown should be entertaining, as most bouts featuring the 145-pound WEC Featherweight Champion with a jaw even Superman is jealous of. Rumor has it Urijah's chin-dimple is the spot where his mother held him when dipping her Balinese-mafia-beating baby in the river Styx to cement his immortality, meaning it is also his one spot of weakness as was exploited by Tyson Griffin in Faber's one professional loss. Take note, Mike Brown! It will also be nice to see Paulo Filho back in action, who should be in a better place both emotionally and physically than when last competing, and I'm equally glad Sonnen will get a chance to avenge an earlier loss to the tough Brazilian. As you may recall, Chael was dominating the fight until Filho locked in an armbar and the referee stopped things, claiming Sonnen had verbally submitted. While it appeared as though he did in fact give in, the Team Quest veteran argued he hadn't, and thus a hint of controversy remains as to whether or not he clearly lost the fight.

The addition of Leonard Garcia vs. Jens Pulver drops an already deep card down a few feet further. Both men are world class 145-pound fighters. Each man have exciting styles with an emphasis on a willingness to stand, exchange strikes, and watch his opponent eventually crumple in a heap. Each straps on gloves that come with a special doctor's warning - "One dose will cause drowsiness." It's also an important fight for Garcia and Pulver, as I think it's safe to say the winner will find himself next in line to face the winner of Faber/Brown. Pulver's first title-fight against "The California Kid" was exciting, and Faber's biggest test to date, and Garcia has shown flashes of brilliance in his young career. A win over "Little Evil" would absolutely catapult him into the championship spotlight.


Matt Hughes recently posted a blog on his website where he states that he could be out of action for up to 7 months due to a torn MCL and a partially torn PCL.


I'm no fan of Matt Hughes, though admittedly I've never spoken to him on a personal level and my opinions are purely derived from how he's portrayed himself in the public. He claims to have torn his knee to shreds during his fight against Thiago Alves. I tend to believe the injury actually occurred after a particularly grueling session of masturbating to a picture of himself. However, ligaments are no joking matter, and from that standpoint I hope his rehabilitation runs as smoothly as possible. He is as hard-working as he is an egomaniac, and yes that is a back-handled compliment, so I have no doubt he'll be back in action is less than the diagnosed period of rehab time and more ready than ever to tell the world all about his accomplishment.


The UFC has officially announced that Rich Franklin vs. Matt Hamill, Dan Henderson vs. Rousimar Palhares, and Karo Parisyan vs. Yoshiyuki Yoshida have all been added to UFC 88. The PPV is set to take place in Atlanta, Georgia on September 6 and will feature a main event of Chuck Liddell vs. Rashad Evans. All these bouts are expected to be on the televised portion of the card. The UFC has yet to confirm the undercard bouts however.


UFC 88 is looking like a beast! That trio of bouts alone feature three of the company's top athletes in competitive match-ups against up-and-coming fighters. In a way, they are smaller versions of the evening's main event between UFC icon Chuck Liddell and rising MMA star Rashad Evans. Hamill, Palhares, and Yoshida can solidify themselves as viable contenders with a victory, while Franklin, Henderson, and Parisyan all have reputations to protect and questions to answer resulting from recent losses. On top of that, all six men are well-rounded with elite-level skills in particular disciplines such as wrestling, judo, and jiujitsu. I see Karo Parisyan having the most difficulty, as Yoshida is aggressive and powerful, yet also possesses the technical skill to keep things interesitng on the mat. He's finished eight of his ten opponents, including TKOs over Akira Kikuchi and Tatsuya Inoue, while you have to go back more than two years to find a win on Parisyan's record that wasn't influenced by the judges' scorecards. Karo's conditioning has been questionable for some time, where he seems to suffer from "BJ Penn Syndrome" and relies on his natural talent so much that he omits the finer points of what it takes to become a world champion. His physique against Alves was case in point. Penn diagnosed himself with the disease and cured it by dieting, increasing his training, and taking a heart-attack serious attitude about being a professional fighter. And, as a result, he's now seen as being virtually unbeatable at Lightweight. Like Baby Jay, Parisyan was given an immense talent (in judo as opposed to jiujitsu) and it has carried him to great heights. However, it takes more than God-given skill to be the best Mixed Martial Artist on the planet; it takes dedication.


MMAWeekly.com is reporting that the UFC has signed IFL Middleweight Champion Dan Miller as well as his brother Jim Miller, a highly touted Lightweight. Dan is currently 8-1 as a pro and won the IFL Middleweight title from Ryan McGivern in his first fight with the company. His brother Jim is currently 11-1 and he made his IFL debut back in April when he defeated Bart Palaszewski via decision.


This further goes to show the IFL is done as a fight promotion. It is absolutely in the process of being sold, or folding completely, as was made clear in an email to me from an executive with the company. The message seemed more personal than meant for publishing is the reason I'll withold the name, but essentially he was stating his thanks to all the media for their support, moving on in his career as he is soon to be out of a job, and made clear the state of failure the company is currently experiencing. Jim and Dan Miller are talented young fighters and would be well-served by a stint on the Ultimate Fighter, though it could be more difficult with Dan as he's had a bit more exposure due to his time in the IFL. Jim Miller, however, is also an extremely talented fighter and his one professional loss came via decision to UFC Lightweight Frank Edgar. I've seen him fight a few times, including against Palaszewski and in "Ring of Combat", and I've been impressed every time by his ring-control, conditioning, and work on the ground. I think both Millers will do well in the UFC and will continue to progress as fighters through the experience they gain in the organization, plus it makes a nice story any time you can feature two siblings competing at the same event in any sport. MMA is as much a business of entertainment as it is combat, so additional angles a company can take to sell one its athletes or events are icing on the cake the promotion shouldn't ignore. I'm certain the UFC won't in the case of the brothers Miller.


During an interview with an Albuquerque radio show today, Keith Jardine announced that he would be fighting Brandon Vera at UFC 89 on October 18 at The NIA in Birmingham, England. Jardine last fought against Wanderlei Silva at UFC 84 where he lost via KO in the first round. Vera recently fought at UFC Fight Night 14 where he earned a decision victory over Reese Andy in a very lackluster performance. The UFC has yet to confirm the bout however. UFC 89 is currently rumored to be shown on Spike TV and will feature a main event of Chris Leben vs. Michael Bisping.


I'm sure Keith Jardine is excited for a few reasons. First, he's getting a chance to redeem himself for the loss against Silva by facing a tough opponent with significant name value in the form of Brandon Vera. Secondly, he'll be one step closer to fulfilling his post-TUF contractual obligations and breaking free of the horrid "$10,000/show" salary he's being paid. I'm certain Jardine is getting some scratch in bonus-form, such as a small share of PPV revenue, but I cannot understand why the UFC wouldn't tear up his old deal and offer him a new one after "The Dean of Mean" beat both Chuck Liddell and knocked out current UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Forrest Griffin.

I expect Vera to look much better against Keith Jardine than he did at "Fight Night 14" against Reese Andy. It was Vera's inaugural fight at 205-pounds and cutting weight for the first time affected his output against the tough IFL alumnus. The experience will have no doubt taught "The Truth" a few things about how to approach the process in the future and I don't suspect he'll look so lackluster at UFC 89. I also think an opponent like Keith Jardine might motivate Vera to train a little harder than a man few fans had heard of prior to July 19th. It should be a firefight when the two battle in Birmingham, and even better, on relatively free television!

I applaud the UFC for working out a deal with Spike to show UFC 89, though I assume it will still be available during the afternoon on PPV for MMA junkies who want to watch the event unfold live. I personally think I'll stay away from the internet for a few hours that Saturday, take in the show on Spike, and pocket the $10-$50 I'd normally spend on an event. I assume the UFC is motivated to show UFC 89 on Spike TV due to the volume of high quality MMA that's been shown recently in a similar format. "Affliction: Banned" offered two entertaining fights, with a highlight reel knockout for the ages courtesy of Vitor Belfort, on FoxSports, plus the DREAM promotion seems to be picking up steam on HDNet and EliteXC offered a very solid event with this past weekend's "Saturday Night Fights" on CBS. The UFC counter-programmed two of those shows, so Dana White and the Fertittas are clearly paying attention to what their competitors are doing. And, if "Fight Night 14" was any indication of the current climate of MMA, I expect UFC 89 to draw record-high ratings on Spike when they broadcast it mid-October. Happy Halloween, indeed!


Kevin Iole of Yahoo! Sports has confirmed that Fedor Emelianenko vs. Andrei Arlovski will headline the next Affliction card which will take place on October 11 in Las Vegas, Nevada. Both fighters just competed this past weekend at Affliction's debut PPV entitled "Banned". Fedor was victorious over Tim Sylvia in 36 seconds, while Arlovski defeated Ben Rothwell via TKO in round 3. Affliction is expected to announce the bout next Tuesday.


It was only a matter of time before Affliction made their way into Las Vegas and the UFC's backyard. In true "Sin City" form, Tom Atencio covets his neighbor's wife, and she is a ruby-red and diamond lighted mistress in the middle of the Nevada desert. Arlovski vs. Emelianenko is excellent matchmaking for a few reasons. It gives Fedor another well-known opponent to face, and thus creates additional American exposure for the world's consensus top Heavyweight, as well as provides Affliction with the opportunity to have their crown jewel best two of the UFC's most-recognized Heavyweight Champions (with Couture likely a candidate for a fight in early to mid 2009). The UFC has always boasted a claim of having the best fighters under contract. If Emelianenko were to beat Tim Sylvia, Andrei Arlovski, and Randy Couture in succession, how could Dana White claim his company's champion was the top Heavyweight in MMA - a champ who likely will be "Minotauro" Nogueira and who was twice a victim to the stoic Russian's impressive abilities? I also think the timing is significant, as the UFC has a "Fight Night" less than a month prior to it, and a PPV event on October 18th, meaning it will be difficult for Zuffa to counter Affliction with a live show as they did on July 19th.

I've heard people say Andrei Arlovski should be a more difficult opponent for Emelianenko than Tim Sylvia based on Arlovski's background in sambo and impressive striking skills. I tend to agree, but only in that it might take Fedor thirty-seven seconds to beat "The Pitbull" as opposed to the thirty-six ticks he needed to finish off Tim-meh. I do not see Arlovski knocking Emelianenko out or submitting him, while the Belarusian has been put to sleep a few times, including in his professional debut against the less-than-impressive Viacheslav Datsik (who has a professional record of 4-9). I see Fedor frustrating Arlovski on his feet, then taking him down and working a submission. Still, what the bout lacks in terms of being competitive will be made up for by the build and mere fact two stars like Emelianenko and Arlovski are going to duke it out. On top of that, Affliction will no doubt stack the televised portion of the PPV, and maybe even throw a few nice names on the undercard to satisfy those in attendance and a potential FoxSports viewing audience. I don't think it's realistic to expect 90% of the fights to feature a significant player in the MMA world, as was the case at "Banned", but I'm certain fans will be satisfied as long as there are entertaining fights and a handful of stars in action on the upper-half of the card. With rumored fights to choose from like Matt Lindland vs. Vitor Belfort, Paul Buentello vs. Pedro Rizzo, Rogerio Nogueira vs. Mike Whitehead, and Renato "Babalu" Sobral vs. Tito Ortiz, I'm certain the crew at Affliction will put together something special on October 11th. I just hope I get to go again!


After the Affliction "Banned" PPV last weekend, it was reported that Fedor Emelianenko only earned $300,000 for his 36 second victory over Tim Sylvia (who earned a reported $800,000). However, NBCSports.com has revealed the reason for Fedor's salary, stating "a sizable part of his Affliction contract (was paid) up front in the form of a signing bonus," as well as Emelianenko being given ownership of the rights to footage from his bouts in several European countries.


...and he deserved every Ruble. The crowd's reaction to Fedor Emelianenko was deafening and he was clearly the man 12,000+ people paid to see in action. There were parts during the evening's events where the audience stood for a short while, then sat down and went back to enjoying the action. However, fans were on their feet from the first note of Fedor's entrance music and remained there until after the ring cleared out and Emelianenko disappeared from view. In a world where so often things are an illusion, where a Big Mac is made to look like a Filet Mignon on a freshly baked bun, Fedor Emelianenko is the one thing you can count on being as advertised. He took a 26-5, two-time UFC Heavyweight Champion and reduced him to a flopping mess in less than a minute. The plain-faced Russian did what Randy Couture could not in twenty-five minutes of action against Sylvia and what took "Minotauro" ten minutes of beatdown to achieve - finished Tim Sylvia in dominating fashion. If that's not worth whatever ridiculous sum Emelianenko was actually paid beyond the three-hundred grand, I'm not sure what else would have earned him the paycheck outside of perhaps armbarring a bear during the post-fight interview...





From "EliteXC: Unfinished Business"...


EliteXC and CBS' second joint offering was far superior to their first foray into MMA on network television. They clearly listened to feedback concerning the "Porky's"-style production of the debut event and did away with the tacky booty-shorted dancers being a focal point of the night. Sure, the lovely ladies were still present, but were predominantly shown as ring-girls as opposed to rap-video robots. I expect the event to draw lower ratings than the "Saturday Night Fights" featuring Kimbo Slice, as I assume the promotion-heads do too based on how little advertising the show got, but I think EliteXC/CBS will make up for the decreased numbers with an improvement in the public's perception of their product. It was done quite professionally and showcased the men (and women) on the card instead of the "spectacle" of MMA. The announcing team was no worse than Rogan/Goldberg, though Shamrock talked about himself a bit too much and Gus Johnson made an obvious flub calling Anderson Silva the UFC Lightweight Champion, but let's not forget Mike Goldberg's "(Silva's) precision is precise" line from "Fight Night 14" or the other countless miscalls he's made. With a huge card on the horizon featuring Kimbo Slice, Gina Carano, and Nick Diaz vs. KJ Noons, I'd say EliteXC and CBS are in a great position to establish themselves in the mainstream public assuming they can continue to improve and build upon the many positives of this past Saturday night.

Time to talk about the fights?





Gina thinks so, and I am commanded to follow her every wish, so here we go...


Wilson Reis def. Brian Caraway - Judges' Decision


Reis reminds me of a bulldog. He is compact, muscular, and seems to relentlessly attack his foes. He is perhaps the most frightening 5'3 individual in the world other than the countless housewives who stand a similar height and have husbands reading this column. I wasn't particularly impressed with any one aspect of his performance other than ability to take Caraway down, though the attacks led to very little damage beyond the initial push to the floor. He should do well against opponents, though I see Reis getting pushed around as soon as he faces a larger Featherweight with comperable skills or at least an above average ability to sprawl and counterpunch.


Rafael Feijao def. Travis Galbraith - TKO - RD 1


I wonder what your thought process when facing a guy who has "Minotauro" Nogueira and Anderson Silva - two UFC champions and top pound-for-pound fighters - as training partners and standing in his corner. Rumor has it that direct eye contact with Anderson Silva can render a grown man unconscious, so imagine the pressure of knowing he's in such close proximity and you're supposed to be fighting his best friend who happens to be dressed in the trademark yellow-and-black spandex shorts of "The Spider". Sounds fun, eh? Unfortunately for Galbraith, Feijao happens to be a very talented Mixed Martial Artist in his own right, and one who seems to improve with every performance. His striking looked crisp and his jiujitsu is no doubt world class. I expect big things from Feijao now that he's dedicated himself to competition. He's a big Light Heavyweight and almost certainly is going to be one of the contenders fighting for EliteXC's eventual 205-pound title.


Antonio Silva def. Justin Eilers - TKO - RD 2


Justin Eilers was overmatched before the referee brought the fighters to the center of the ring and reviewed the rules. This was a bout put together in order to crown EliteXC's best Heavyweight as the champion moreso than create a competitive fight to determine the top dog. Eilers is no slouch, but he's no #1 Heavyweight contender either. It seems likely EliteXC will either slot Brett Rogers as the first defense for "Bigfoot", though I know there's a possibility Rogers could end up facing Kimbo Slice in October to determine Silva's next opponent. It makes sense, as a win over the popular bald-and-bearded fighter would elevate his status in the mainstream public and a victory for Kimbo would silence some of the criticism he's received for his performance against James Thompson. However, I think Slice would have a snowball's chance in Hell against Silva, whereas Brett Rogers is a far greater threat to the giant American Top Team product's EliteXC strap. The primary difference concerns wrestling and jiujitsu, where I feel "Bigfoot" would have little problem taking Slice down and eventually submitting him, while Rogers has been training Mixed Martial Arts for a longer period of time and has a better understanding of both styles. Standing I would call it a push, with Kimbo and Brett edging Silva out in the power department but lacking the Brazlian's arsenal of kicks/knees. A better option would be bringing in Alistair Overeem to clean out the division, but somehow I don't see EliteXC sharing my enthusiasm for a truly polished Heavyweight running rampant in their big-boy division. Then again, is EliteXC's group that much worse than the UFC's current crop of Heavyweights? I'm not saying it is anywhere equal to the likes of Werdum, Herring, Gonzaga, or Nogueira, but I would put money on Antonio Silva or Brett Rogers beating current UFC #1 Contender Frank Mir any day of the week. Then again, the bulk of the sport's true elite Heavyweights don't fight for either company, so I suppose it's a moot point when you take that into account.


Cris Cyborg def. Shayna Baszler - TKO - RD 2


I am certain I was not the only one impressed by Cristiane Cyborg's performance and equally underwhelmed by what Baszler brought to the arena. Cyborg reminded me a bit of her husband, Evangelista "Cyborg" Santos, in that she looks intimidating, throws powerful strikes, is masculine, and fights with the aggression made famous by her home of Chute Boxe Academy. Baszler looked to be a bit out of shape, but then again it would be hard not to look a bit flabby compared to the ripped physique of Cris Cyborg. Baszler never had a chance and was lucky to not be finished off in the first round. The moment where Cyborg thought she had knocked Baszler out and celebrated was classic, though a definitely mistake on her part as I felt it was clear Baszler was only dazed and not KO'd, and I wondered what would've happened had Shayna gotten up and pushed Cyborg out of the cage. In fact I wonder if there is any rule about a fighter's body exiting the cage at any point during a fight and how it should be handled by the official. It seems dangerous and almost worthy of a "No Contest" ruling based on potential for injury. One thing I am certian of is that Cris Cyborg turned herself into a female MMA superstar overnight. Her eventual fight against Gina Carano will be one of the most-anticipated bouts in female MMA history. The match-up almost seems out of a movie - beautiful girl vs. scary tattooed girl - and sells itself beyond the fact both are skilled Mixed Martial Artists. I'll definitely be tuning in and I'm sure many of you will be too!


Jake Shields def. Nick Thompson - Submission - RD 1


This fight certainly went faster than expected and left a lot to be desired. Jake Shields proved himself again as the best Welterweight not in the UFC, and he actually beat current #1 Contender Jon Fitch in a submission-grappling match a few years back. As far as the submission goes, I couldn't help but wonder if Nick Thompson's strange facial hair might have assisted Shields in locking up a one-armed guillotine, as the bizarre grooming technique I can only describe as a "neck-beard" may have provided some additional friction with which to lock up the submission and apply increased pressure. Stranger things have happened, right?





Nick Diaz def. Thomas Denny - TKO - RD 2


I was impressed by Nick Diaz on more than one level. He came into this event as professional a fighter as I've ever seen him, making weight without difficulty and keeping the smack to a minimum. And, even if Gus Johnson would have preferred to ask him a few post-fight questions, Diaz still said all the right things after his win over Denny. It would have been easy for Diaz to call out KJ Noons on live television or disrespect Denny for the trash-talk leading up to their bout Saturday night. Instead, he thanked his friends and dedicated the win to the memories of people in his life he'd been close to. On top of his professionalism, Diaz looked good in the ring and opted to use his reach instead of risking damage by exchanging punch for punch (as he has in the past). He came out and dominated Denny for most of the fight, who looked exhausted midway through the first and was ready to have a fork stuck in him as the second frame opened. Diaz, no stranger to checking brownies for how baked they are, obliged Denny's wishes and left "The Wildman" on the canvas early in the round. It was one of Diaz's better recent performances and creates some nice momentum for his rematch with Noons. Also, kudos to EliteXC/CBS for not exploiting the footage of the Karl Noons Sr. lead scrum against Diaz's camp after KJ Noons defeated Yves Edwards, as it wouldn't have been surprising for the company to loop the footage over-and-over to hype how "controversial" Nick Diaz is. I'm glad they recognized how bad it made their promotion look and chose to avoid even bringing it up during the broadcast.





Robbie Lawler def. Scott Smith - TKO - RD 2


Though he is not as technically sound as Anderson Silva, I happen to think EliteXC Middleweight Champion Robbie Lawler is every bit as exciting as his 185-pound UFC counterpart (who happened to be in attendance at the show). He throws strikes with bad intent, has knockout power in every limb, and also provides a personality in and outside of the ring that people identify with. Lawler smiles while he fights, and enjoys every moment of the combat, but is generally a soft-spoken, hard-working guy outside of the cage. Anderson Silva is similar in that regard, though I highly doubt Lawler owns a "I Fuck on the First Date" T-Shirt as "The Spider" has been photographed in. And, when it comes to fighting, each man is a true warrior inside the cage who looks to dismantle his opponent in devestating fashion and puts forth maximum effort in doing so.

Scott Smith looked good early in the fight against "Ruthless" Robbie, but I got the feeling Lawler was feeling things out moreso than taking any significant damage or ever being in trouble. He picked his spots and let loose on the Californian. I had a hard time believing Scott Smith's post-fight comment about holding off his attack in hopes the referee would stop the bout, as the cut on Lawler's head was not bad and in a safe spot from the perspective of fighter-safety. I understand fighters are often looking for reasons as to why they failed against an opponent, but in the case of Lawler vs. Smith, it was a matter of individual talent as opposed to making a mental mistake and stalling. I'm interested to see who EliteXC will choose as Lawler's next opponent. I would say it's likely a toss-up between Joey Villasenor or Murilo Rua, though I can't get this strange notion out of my head that Frank Shamrock may somehow make his way into the picture.


Jibber-Jabber:

The following soundbytes were delivered over the past week...


Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic blogged the following about Alistair Overeem...

"I was asked by the members of media if I'm willing to fight Overeem since we challenged me twice already. I watched DREAM 5 and I was happy to see a strong Heavyweight match-up on the card, I have no doubts that DREAM will put more match-ups like that in the future. It was a very good performance by Alistair I must say. I'm happy to accept his challenge and I'm looking forward to this fight as I believe that we can deliver an entertaining fight. Now it's up to DREAM to make this fight happen, I'm ready to face my challenger on the next show already."


Alistair Overeem would be an excellent opponent for Filipovic, though at this point I'm simply ready to see "Cro Cop" compete again and stay out of the doctor's office. It seems he's been having surgery on-and-off for the past year if not longer. I think Overeem poses a difficult task for Mirko, especially after a layoff, and I can see the Dutchman giving Filipovic fashbacks to Gabriel Gonzaga with a series of devastating strikes. With Fedor Emelianenko (on New Year's Eve) another rumored opponent for "Cro Cop", it's safe to say the former member of the Croatian Parliament has a steep hill to climb in the latter half of 2008.


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That's about all she wrote for this week's Hangover. Till next time Punch Drunk buckaroos, here's your "Monday Morning Moment of Zen" - video of UFC Ring Girl Arianny Celeste training Brazilian Jiujitsu with a very attractive blonde female. Sorry guys, there's no pudding involved...

I said a video of her doing BJJ! Perverts!!!






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