The Ultimate Writer 10.12.08: Round 2 - Petruzelli/ vs. Slice, Arlovski vs. Fedor and More!

Posted by Dustin James on 10.12.2008

It's the second edition of "The Ultimate Writer". Come inside as 411's Dustin James discusses the fallout of the Petruzelli/Slice fight, the Arlovski/Fedor main event, and so much more!

Welcome back to the second edition of "The Ultimate Writer". I'm personally glad to see you back. Let's face it, on Sunday all we have is the NFL, Entourage (which has been on a roll recently, last week's "shroom" episode was top notch!), Family Guy (don't you know that the bird is the word?), and of course.....my awesome new column. I got plenty of good feedback from last week's effort which is always better than reading "d00d, ur colum suks". I'd like to thank my Uncle Donald who told me recently that he was proud of me for "putting my spare time to good use by writing a boxing column instead of getting drunk like I usually do." Remind me to kick Uncle Donald in his bag when I see him at the family Christmas party. OK, Uncle Donald doesn't actually exist, he's just a figment of my imagination....I just always wanted an Uncle Donald.

Enough with the jibber-jabber.....LET'S GET IT ON!



(Hey look, this cheesy banner I made is still here. Why is that? Because none of you buttholes made me a new one. Yes, I kept that free dinner at Red Lobster and took my girlfriend out to dinner with it. Too bad she doesn't run that fast because now she's broke!)

Biggest News Items Of The Week:

This feature is self-explanatory. The biggest news item of the week goes here, duh!

Fallout of Seth Petruzelli/Kimbo Slice Fight

This is no doubt the biggest news of the week. ESPN.com is reporting that the Florida Athletic Commission is currently looking into allegations that EliteXC tried to fix the Petruzelli/Slice fight from last weekend. Now, before you get all huffy puffy about this news the bottom line is, the Florida Athletic Commission is 100% correct in doing this. Under no circumstances should a promoter tell you how to fight or bribe you to fight a certain way. If EliteXC offered Petruzelli a substantial amount of money if he kept the fight standing, then EliteXC deserves to be punished. Bottom line.

EliteXC was in a no-win situation last weekend. It's in my opinion that they HAD to have Kimbo Slice fight in order to obtain a good rating for CBS. There were rumors abound that if EliteXC didn't pop a good rating that would be the final nail in the coffin for the company. So basically when they heard Ken Shamrock couldn't fight, what do they do? Do they put Kimbo in against another MMA fighter and risk having him suffer his first loss against a relative unknown? Or do they just take Slice off the card and risk losing over half of their potential TV audience? EliteXC did the right/wrong thing all in the same night. Meaning it was the correct decision to keep Kimbo on the card, they just put him in against the wrong fighter.

According to reports Frank Shamrock had offered to fight Kimbo and he even got approved by the Florida Athletic Commission to fight. EliteXC should have thrown Frank in against Kimbo before Petruzelli. What was EliteXC thinking? That Frank could easily beat Kimbo thus exposing Kimbo's lack of MMA skills? That Kimbo would have a better shot against Petruzelli? At least if Frank defeated Slice you not only have the great storyline of the "brother stepping in for brother", but you also have excuses as to why Kimbo lost. Frank is way more experienced and is an overall better fighter than Ken. Not to mention a loss to Frank Shamrock is just way easier to get over than a loss to Seth Petruzelli. And Shamrock is just more marketable (sans braces) than Seth. You could immediately have Shamrock fight either Robbie Lawler/Joey Villasenor in early-2009 on the next CBS special and the casual fan would no doubt come back to see the guy who just defeated Kimbo fight for the EliteXC Middleweight Title.

If EliteXC is considering abandoning the Kimbo Slice Experiment, you may as well try for one more ratings pop. Have Slice fight Brett Rogers on the next CBS special. That is the fight everybody wants to see just due to the fact that the two guys hate each other. At least you can market Rogers and hope the casual fans will grasp on to him. By the way, I wonder what Rogers thinks of the Slice/Petruzelli fight. Has anybody heard from him? I'm sure he's still laughing. Either that or he's pissed off that it wasn't him who ended the Kimbo Slice Experiment.

A lot of people think this is the end of EliteXC. Well, I personally don't think that EliteXC isn't going out of business anytime soon. They will last. They have built up a solid enough name amongst casual MMA fans that those fans will more than likely tune in to see Kimbo fight again. The only thing I would recommend with Kimbo is, don't push him like he's the next best thing. A main event slot is not something Kimbo needs to see. Have him fight in the 3rd or 4th fight on the card against unknown guys like Petruzelli and just pray that he wins. Don't invest your whole company into him. Also, EliteXC should really think of a full-time partnership with Affliction. It would only help both companies in the long run.

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Fedor Emelianenko vs. Andrei Arlovski to headline next Affliction show

When it comes down to it, this was the best main event fight that Affliction could offer. Arlovski is kind of hot right now coming off two huge wins over Ben Rothwell and Roy Nelson. When you look at Affliction's roster, he just makes the most sense. Josh Barnett isn't a big name amongst casual MMA fans, but Arlovski is. Arlovski was recently the UFC heavyweight champion, fought at the first Affliction event, and just fought on CBS. The guy's name is more well known amongst the casual fans. Do I think Arlovski stands a chance? No. Fedor will win this fight in the first round. However, I will still pay for it.

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It's all in a name!

In this section I'm going to discuss fighter's with crazy names in MMA. You know you guys have searched Sherdog.com's "Fight Finder" and seen some wacky name that has just jumped off the page at you. Well, in this little section I'm going to grab a name each week and take an in-depth look at that fighter! Trust me, it will be fun.......

This week we will be looking at:


George Bush

Yes folks. There is a fighter that goes by the name of George Bush. This may not exactly be the most popular name a fighter could have, but it may be the only time in our life that we can see a George Bush get knocked out or submitted. This Bush will never be President of the United States, but that doesn't mean he can't one day be a UFC champion! Bush currently sports a 5-1 record as a pro and last fought on April 11 of this year at the wonderful MMA show called "YAMMA Pit Fighting 1". Yes, THAT YAMMA Pit Fighting. That is where Bush suffered the first pro loss of his career when he was beat by Ricco Rodriguez via unanimous decision. Bush has taken a few months off, due to failing a drug test, but HE WILL BE BACK!. My sources tell me that EliteXC officials are currently negotiating with George Bush to see if they can lock him up for a MMA "dream fight" against:


Lil Bush

Ain't gonna do it, wouldn't be prudent.....

You can view "George Bush's" fighter profile here.

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Where are they now?

This feature looks at fighters who have been inactive for some time. Where exactly have they gone? I don't know and I'm reaching out to you guys to help us find these missing MMA stars......

MISSING


Tank Abbott, Tank Abbott, where art thou Tank Abbott? Ever since he was spoon fed to Kimbo Slice at EliteXC "Street Certified" last February, Tank has basically dropped from the face of the Earth. I'm not saying that's a bad thing by any means, it's just, somebody needs to find him. What MMA needs more of is people who you can count on to lose a fight everytime out. In pro wrestling they are called "jobbers". MMA needs more jobbers, therefore MMA needs Tank Abbott. What's that? You don't think Tank Abbott is a jobber? Haaaa! Have you seen his record? Since 1998 the guy is 1-8 and hasn't seen a second round in a fight this millennium. That's horrible. Especially considering at one time, Abbott was one of the most recognizable stars in MMA. It just goes to show you that you can get famous by growing a goatee that makes you look like white trash. Hopefully Tank is doing fine and is making enough money working as a high school janitor that he doesn't have to worry about making rent. Here's to you Tank.....

If you know the whereabouts of David "Tank" Abbott, please contact Dustin James at [e-mail], or go to his myspace located here.

Do you have a fighter that you are concerned about? Let me know in the comments section and we will see if we can help find the guy.

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Random Top 10 List Time!

Here you will see a random top 10 list put together by yours truly. It may be Top 10 submission fighters, Top 10 stand-up fighters, or hell, even Top 10 ways that Anderson Silva could kill you. Seriously, don't mess with that man. He's dangerous.

My top 10 favorite fighters who have appeared on "The Ultimate Fighter":

ARE YOU READY?

(PS: This list is in no particular order)

10) Chris Leben - The first season of "The Ultimate Fighter" was by far my favorite season and this man had a lot to do with it. His drunken rampages and emotional breakdowns after losing a fight were something you can't write. Not to mention his feud with Josh Koscheck and Bobby Southworth alone were worth the price of admission (and the show was free!).

9) Nate Quarry - Nate was the voice of reason on "The Ultimate Fighter" season 1. He was the one who always had to calm Chris Leben down and was counted on to be the "mature guy" in the house. He got a bad deal when Randy Couture landed on his ankle during training thus taking him out of the competition. Either way he was allowed to stay on the show as an assistant coach just due to the fact that he was mature and had a good knowledge of the MMA game. Not to mention the guy's a pretty damn good fighter. Just ask Kalib Starnes.

8) Diego Sanchez - The weirdness of Diego Sanchez on "TUF" season 1 aside, the guy was amazing to watch when he fought on the show. You know it wasn't going to be boring if Diego was fighting.

7) Rashad Evans - I actually didn't like Rashad much when he was on the show, but overtime I have learned to respect his talent. When he was on the show he was so boring during his fights that it drove Matt Hughes crazy. Good thing he has learned a thing or two since season 2.

6) Mac Danzig - Danzig is an animal lover just like myself, which is why I could appreciate him. However, he took it a little overboard at times. Either way, the dude is a great fighter.

5) Nate Diaz - C'mon! He made his season watchable! Remember that showdown with Karo Parisyan where the two almost threw fisticuffs in the locker room? Classic Diaz TV.

4) Bobby Southworth - "Shut the fuck up you fatherless bastard!". I hated Southworth when he was on season 1, which is why he makes this list. If you hate somebody, you are entertained by them most of the time.

3) Forrest Griffin - Forrest was the comic relief of "TUF" season 1. You could always count on Forrest to bring the funny...that and the guy is a tough bastard.

2) Kenny Florian - Much like Nate Quarry, Florian was just a classy guy while on "TUF" season 1. He got along with everybody and was a great fighter to boot.

1) Ed Herman - Well, let's see....Herman is a friend of mine, so are you REALLY surprised to see him on this list?

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Current Champions:

This feature is pretty self explanatory. I list the current champions in each relevant promotion, and you guys sit and read. Easy enough for ya?



Randy Couture - UFC Heavyweight Champion

Won the title from Tim Sylvia back on March 3, 2007 at UFC 68.

Antonio Rodrigo Nogueria - Interim UFC Heavyweight Championship

Won the title from Tim Sylvia back on February 2, 2008 at UFC 81

Forrest Griffin - UFC Light Heavyweight Champion

Won the title from Quinton "Rampage" Jackson back on July 5, 2008 at UFC 86

Anderson Silva - UFC Middleweight Champion

Won the title from Rich Franklin back on October 14, 2006 at UFC 64

Georges St. Pierre - UFC Welterweight Champion

Won the title from Matt Serra back on April 14, 2008 at UFC 83

BJ Penn - UFC Lightweight Champion

Won the title from Sean Sherk back on May 24, 2008 at UFC 84



Antonio Silva - EliteXC Heavyweight Champion

Won the title from Justin Eilers back on July 26, 2008 at EliteXC: Unfinished Business

Robbie Lawler - EliteXC Middleweight Champion

Won the title from Murilo "Ninja" Rua back on September 15, 2007 at EliteXC: Uprising

Jake Shields - EliteXC Welterweight Champion

Won the title from Nick Thompson back on July 26, 2008 at EliteXC: Unfinished Business

Vacant - EliteXC Lightweight Championship

Title was stripped from KJ Noons due to refusing to fight against Nick Diaz

Wilson Reis - EliteXC Bantamweight Champion

Won the title from Abel Cullum back on September 26, 2008 at ShoXC 8



Alistair Overeem - Strikeforce Heavyweight Champion

Won the title from Paul Buentello back on November 16, 2007 at Strikeforce: Four Men Enter, One Man Survives

Bobby Southworth - Strikeforce Light Heavyweight Champion

Won the title from Vernon White back on December 8, 2006 at Strikeforce: Triple Threat

Cung Le - Strikeforce Middleweight World Champion

Won the title from Frank Shamrock back on March 29, 2008 at Strikeforce: Shamrock vs. Le

Josh Thomson - Strikeforce Lightweight Champion

Won the title from Gilbert Melendez back on June 27, 2008 at Strikeforce: Melendez vs. Thomson



Gegard Mousasi - DREAM Middleweight Champion

Won the title from Ronaldo "Jacare" Souza back on September 23, 2008 at DREAM 6

Joachim Hansen - DREAM Lightweight Champion

Won the title from Shinya Aoki back on July 21, 2008 at DREAM 5



Carlos Condit - WEC Welterweight Champion

Won the title from Mike Pyle back on March 24, 2007 at WEC 26

Jamie Varner - WEC Lightweight Champion

Won the title from Rob McCullough back on February 13, 2008 at WEC 32

Urijah Faber - WEC Featherweight Champion

Won the title from Cole Escovedo back on March 17, 2006 at WEC 19

Miguel Torres - WEC Bantamweight Champion

Won the title from Chase Beebe back on February 13, 2008 at WEC 32

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Watch Out For This Guy:

In this feature I will showcase a fighter who I believe is on his way up in the MMA world......


Manny Tapia

On December 3 at WEC 37, Manny Tapia finally gets his shot at making a name for himself in the MMA world. Tapia will face one of the best pound-for-pound fighters in MMA, WEC Bantamweight Champion Miguel Torres. Tapia is currently 10-0-1 as a professional MMA fighter and has been fighting for just over 5 years. Now he will finally get a chance to show the United States audience what he is all about. Tapia is a ju-jitsu stud who also has very good stand-up skills. In his 10 victories, 4 have come via KO and 2 have come via submission. He is currently 2-0 in the WEC and is really hoping to be the guy who can stop the train known as "Miguel Torres". One thing is for sure, if Tapia can become the new WEC Bantamweight Champion.....I know I won't be the only one impressed by this guy.

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Upcoming Events:

Here are a few of the upcoming events in the wonderful world of MMA:

UFC 89: Bisping vs. Leben - October 18 at The National Indoor Arena in Birmingham, England

-Michael Bisping vs. Chris Leben
-Brandon Vera vs. Keith Jardine
-Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou vs. Luiz Cane
-Chris Lytle vs. Paul Taylor
-Shane Carwin vs. Neil Wain
-Marcus Davis vs. Paul Kelly
-Akihiro Gono vs. Dan Hardy
-Jess Liaudin vs. David Bielkheden
-Sam Stout vs. Terry Etim
-Jim Miller vs. David Baron
-Per Eklund vs. Sammy Schiavo

UFC 90: Silva vs. Cote - October 25 at the Allstate Arena in Rosemont, Illinois

-Anderson Silva vs. Patrick Cote
-Diego Sanchez vs. Thiago Alves
-Thales Leites vs. Goran Reljic
-Fabricio Werdum vs. Junior dos Santos
-Sean Sherk vs. Tyson Griffin
-Rich Clementi vs. Gray Maynard
-Spencer Fisher vs. Shannon Gugerty
-Ricardo Almeida vs. Matt Horwich
-Hermes Franca vs. Marcus Aurelio
-Josh Burkman vs. Pete Sell

Sengoku 6 - November 1 at the Saitama Super Arena in Saitama, Japan

-Josh Barnett vs. To Be Announced
-Satoru Kitaoka vs. Eiji Mitsuoka
-Mizuto Hirota vs. Kazunori Yokota
-Lightweight Grand Prix Final

WEC 36: Faber vs. Brown - November 5 at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Hollywood, Florida

-Urijah Faber vs. Mike Brown
-Paulo Filho vs. Chael Sonnen
-Jens Pulver vs. Leonard Garcia
-Rob McCullough vs. Donald Cerrone
-Danillo Villefort vs. Jake Rosholt
-Alex Schoenauer vs. Steve Steinbeiss
-Yoshiro Maeda vs. Rani Yayha
-Ed Ratcliff vs. Danny Castillo
-Jose Aldo vs. Jonathan Brookins
-Alex Serdyukov vs. Johnny Hendricks

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MMA Motivational Poster Of The Week:

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Video Of The Week:

Chris Leben pees on Jason Thacker's pillow on "The Ultimate Fighter" season 1 (at least Junie Browning hasn't sunk THAT far yet)......

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Thank you for joining me again for this wonderful column. I hope you continue to read every week and don't forget to check out the other wonderful columns here on 411mania.com, which is updated daily because unlike Kimbo Slice, we never fall down.