The Thanksgiving Hangover 11.27.08: Howdy, Pilgrim!

Posted by Bren Oliver on 11.27.2008

It's time to undo that top button, let your belly flop out, and get sauced cranberry-style! In this special Thanksgiving edition of PDH, Bren Oliver discusses things in MMA he's thankful for as well as similar thoughts from other 411Mania MMA staff. Those things and more, plus a special side-dish featuring Fedor Emelianenko losing in Sambo and Frank Shamrock choking out a skinny white guy, are all just a click away!




Good morning, afternoon, evening, or whatever in-between time your eyes have found their way to this special holiday edition of the Punch Drunk Hangover! There will be no grabbing of nether regions a la Bas Rutten, as I'd say there's a good chance you've got today off and aren't in need of an extra jolt of energy to keep you going! That's right - it's Thanksgiving, the TPS Reports are tucked snug in their folders back at the office, and you're hopefully having a chance to enjoy friends, family, and football while deciding whether or not pumpkin pie makes a good Friday-morning breakfast. And for the record, yes, it does indeed.

That's why I felt inclined to bring a different, equally sweet, Cool-Whip-laden treat to your Thursday grind. So, in the spirit of brotherhood, like DJ Gozma and UFC security getting their lean-on together, I've compiled a list of things in Mixed Martial Arts sans November 2008 that I'm thankful for, as well as gathered additional commentary from my cohorts here at the 411Mania MMA Zone on the same subject. Feel free to chip in as well. The "kiddie table", i.e. the "comments section", is ripe for the taking, so make sure to let everyone know what you are personally thankful about when it comes to the current state of the sport of whose existence we're all grateful for.





I am thankful that Jon Fitch is still employed with the UFC. While I appreciated his initial stance as a man of principle, and told him so when the news of his release broke, his absence from the Octagon would have been a bitter one due to the circumstances surrounding it. It seemed to be in both the best interest of Fitch and his former/current employer to resolve matters after the backlash the situation created. Independently of the fact I do not appreciate the way the UFC puts a premium on a marketing deal rather than the men whose backs the company is built on , I recognize the UFC is clearly the best place for fighters when it comes to long-term financial security. Jon Fitch is one of MMA's elite Welterweights, and his best opportunity for success when it comes to establishing himself as a legitimate superstar is within the confines of the eight-sided cage. Lifetime rights or not, at this time in history, re-signing was the right thing for the Purdue Boilermaker to do.

I am thankful for Frank and Lorenzo Fertitta. While I've always dreamed of having breakfast with the duo, perhaps ordering a "fritatta with the Fertittas", my respect for them goes far beyond their surname making good subject matter for a bad joke. They are the "yin" to Dana White's "yang" and thusly create the necessary full circle to keep the UFC in a Zen-like state. The most recent example of this was Lorenzo acting as the mediating force that brought Jon Fitch back to the UFC. As outspoken a personality as Dana White has, the Fertittas still hold all the cards and are able to reel him in when necessary. At times their personal friendship with the UFC President may allow him to operate with too long a leash but business seems to indicate the company is still operating like a well-oiled machine. Like someone once said, "If it ain't broke..."

I am thankful Rachelle Leah took a phonecall from Hugh Hefner. In the infamous words of Oklahoma State Football Coach Mike Gundy, "I'm a man!" I have no reservations over expressing my enjoyment of a pretty girl being in various states of undress...heck, in full dress for that matter. On "All Access", Leah always appears to be a cool, humble girl who doesn't take herself too seriously and loves MMA. What's not to love? However, after seeing her Playboy spread, they may want to consider renaming the show she hosts "Partial Access", because I clearly got to know her in more detail after seeing the magazine. Of course, I only glanced over the pictures, as I only read Playboy for the articles. And man, Rachelle has some very nice verbage. Her nouns are extrordinary! I assume Arianny Celeste has a lot to say too, so I hope she has the opportunity to express herself in a future copy.

I am thankful for the UFC's current slate of promotional champions. BJ Penn, Georges St. Pierre, and Anderson Silva are consistently ranked three of MMA's top pound-for-pound fighters. "Minotauro" Nogueira is generally the consensus #2 Heavyweight in the world. And Forrest Griffin, who is certainly not the most technically sound fighter, has enough personality and overall ability to fill any arena in the world with screaming fans and have us all tuning in to see what he'll do/say next. Even Brock Lesnar, who I only consider a champion by default (as Couture should have previously been stripped of his title but wasn't because the UFC wanted to use it as legal leverage), provides a never seen before combination of size, power, speed, and raw athleticism. He knows how to sell a fight to the public and has an incredible amount of potential, which is actually a bit frightening to think about considering what he's already achieved in his young career. Politicking aside, it's a good time to be a fan of the UFC.

I am thankful for how accessible people in Mixed Martial Arts tend to be. While I understand MMA is nowhere near the level of professional baseball, football, or basketball when it comes to mainstream attention and annual income, I can't imagine athletes in those sports would be as friendly or available for fans/media as is the case with fighters even if the playing fields were leveled. Have a favorite Mixed Martial Artist who isn't a megastar like Chuck Liddell, Georges St. Pierre, or BJ Penn? Drop him/her a line on MySpace and there's a good chance you'll hear something back unless you're asking some sort of ridiculous question. I once got a response in relation to a question I sent Gina Carano about her grooming habits. Sure, the email I received was from a lawyer, but the point remains - I got a response! Beyond the ability to keep up with your favorite purveyors of punch through various online outlets, going to live events is another great way to see fighters you follow when they aren't busy strapping on five-ounce gloves. Training centers are very familial and, as you've likely noticed before, fighters in the same camp tend to support each other cageside. In truth, MMA as a whole is a community of sorts, where well-known fighters will even attend shows in their region without working a teammate's corner. Additionally, it's my experience most Mixed Martial Artists are engaging and open to discussion when approached in a polite manner, so don't be afraid to ask for a picture or ask for a short anecdote. We as fans are lucky to follow a sport whose athletes genuinely appreciate the support we lend and it's something that shouldn't go unrecognized.

I am thankful for EliteXC's offerings...and I'm thankful for EliteXC going out of business. I have nothing personal against the promotion, and enjoyed attending Kimbo Slice's debut in Corpus Christi, but it was poorly managed and looked eventually start doing more bad for MMA than good. Making Slice look like the top fighter on their roster, Jared Shaw's behavior as a Vice President, threatening to auction off contracts, and the Noons vs. Diaz post-fight fracus were just a few of the embarassing moves the company made in 2008. Given their mainstream exposure on CBS it was possible the public might have actually started to believe EliteXC was representative of what MMA is all about, and that would have been an extremely bad thing where the sport's growth is concerned. All that being said, EliteXC did put on some memorable fights and had talented fighters at its disposal. They deserve credit for getting Mixed Martial Arts on network television and allowing athletes like Jake Shields, Gina Carano, Robbie Lawler, and so many more the opportunity to make money and gain fans. I try to find the silver lining around every dark cloud, and it's really not very hard at all when it comes to EliteXC in 2008.

I am thankful for the Coutures, both Randy and Kim - the "Brangelina" of MMA. Does that make the XTreme Couture heads "Rim" or "Kandy"? I'll leave that up to the reader to decide. Now, I know some fans will say Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson are the power-couple of the sport, and they do have the Coutures at a loss in the sense Jenna being pregnant with twins is very "Jolie" of her. However, I like to think Ortiz and Jameson are more like Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes than Brad and Angelina. Like Cruise, Tito is prone to strange behavior and once starred on television working opposite of a "slow" individual, Ken Shamrock, a la Dustin Hoffman in "Rain Man". And, in the case of Jenna, we all know the importance of the last name "Holmes" in her previous line of work. I've seen both couples at live events and my personal experience is that the Coutures demand more respect, and less curious glances, from onlookers. I'll never forget seeing Randy and Kim backstage at "HDNet Fights: Reckless Abandon" taking the press conference, leaning back against the wall and holding hands. They seemed like a genuine couple without frills or any demand for attention from the media. Beyond their demeanor, XTreme Couture is one of the top training centers in the world and is home to multiple championships (and Gina Carano), so the Coutures certainly know how to run a good business. They also back up their love of MMA by both being competitive in the ring. Randy's legend in the sport goes without explanation and Kim, who was by no means a fighter when she met her eventual husband, has given it a go. While her performance at the recent "Strikeforce" event wasn't much to talk about, mainly thanks to her opponent's habit of turning away from punches and closing her eyes, Kim Couture is clearly not afraid to throw down in the cage and should continue to gradually improve as she goes forward in her career. She's also proven her heart matches her husband's after having her jaw badly broken in her first professional fight and weathering the storm for the three five-minute rounds. The Coutures are good for Mixed Martial Arts and the sport benefits from their hard work and dedication.

I am thankful for my compatriots at 411Mania. I wouldn't know Dustin James, Jeremy Lambert, Adam Tool, Morgan Marx, John Curry, Larry Csonka, Jonathan Solomon, Jeffrey Harris, Scott Kuczkowski, Matt McEwen, Dan Plunkett, Todd Bergman, Alex Mattis, or Chris Robinson if I was purchasing a beer alongside one of them at a MMA event, but I guarantee you I'd buy each a brew if I did recognize them. I think we do an excellent job as a group of guys who share two particular passions - writing and Mixed Martial Arts. Those worlds collide here in our Zone and I challenge anyone to show me a site as detailed in coverage as 411Mania that operates on such a minimal budget. The interviews we set up, shows we attend, and thousands upon thousands of words we submit on a weekly basis are all out of pocket and without financial reward. They are open to giving and taking criticism on how we can improve things here and for that reason, plus so many more, I'm very appreciative of my surroundings.

And, last but not least, I am thankful for my readership, whether they be a long-time follower of my "Punch Drunk" antics or a newcomer to my thoughts on all matters MMA. I always enjoy reading the comments you provide at the bottom even when they're meant to call me out on an issue or correct a mistake. Furthermore, seeing that you enjoy the things I jot down on these pages or that it's something you look forward to reading on a weekly basis helps provide the motivation that keeps me wanting to deliver. I assume most writers feel that way so never be afraid to let them know you enjoy what they do.

Again, feel free to eventually offer your own thanks at the bottom of the column in the comments section. In the meantime, enjoy the poetic waxings of a handful of the other folks 'round these parts who keep our MMA Zone rip-roaring ready to go!

Larry Csonka:

I am thankful for…

Bas Rutten: While I don't always agree with his opinions, especially on the last Strikeforce card, the man NEVER fails to entertain me on commentary. EL GUAPO is also a savior in those all night events that DREAM provides us. With SIX more of those reportedly coming in 2009, I will appreciate him even more as I struggle to stay awake for 4-6 hours.

HD NET: Speaking of DREAM and EL GUAPO, that brings me to HD Net. As an MMA fan, I love having access to this network. "If it isn't UFC, it is on HD Net," is the mantra, and that's a good thing. Don't get me wrong, I love the UFC and W.E.C. is awesome, but without EliteXC we as fans need another outlet to see the sport we love, and HD Net provided that.

Brock Lesnar: Brock Lesnar has been great for MMA. He has been great for PPV Buys, he has been great for discussion and starting a great war between MMA and Wrestling fans and has been great for MMA writers. Once thought of as the next big thing is pro-wrestling, Brock is now looking to be the next big thing in MMA. Controversy creates cash.

The W.E.C: The W.E.C. has been the most consistent promotion for nearly two years now as far as putting on quality shows. Zuffa not only made a great investment, but they also have done this the right way. In wrestling terms, the W.E.C. is everything that WCW should have been when WWE bought them. Zuffa has kept the identity of the W.E.C., they have upped the production values, they have created good fights and as well as a very successful Pulver vs. Faber event. That event did so well that it helped the W.E.C. get an even better deal from Versus for 2009.

Dana White Video Blogs:While Bas is damn entertaining, I don't think I love anything more than an obscenity laced Dana White Video Blog. While I don't think the death of Pro Elite was as great as some, Dana's blog when this happened was legendary. While he isn't always the best for business, this man entertains me and I appreciate that.

Awesome Beards: I love a good beard, and MMA has some spectacular ones on display. From Kimbo Slice to the late Evan Tanner, Joe Rogan's tribute beard and recently Dustin Hazelett. Rock on awesome MMA beards!

Kyra Gracie: Oh yes…


Gina Carano: Oh yes…again


Michelle Waterson: Lordy yes…


In all seriousness, Women's MMA: Sexy ladies aside, if you have paid attention to my columns, you would know that I am a huge fan of women's MMA. I want to see it grow, I want to see them get 5-minte rounds, I want to see the GINA vs. CYBORG battle and I am praying that Zuffa brings the ladies in and showcases them. Some question the depth of the ladies in MMA, but if it continues to grow and gain support, the talent pool will get deeper and that is a good thing.

The 411 MMA Staff: Some of you hate while you should appreciate them, because I do. The 411 MMA staff has come a long way and they continue to bust their ass on a daily basis to provide content for you, the MMA fans to read. I cannot stress how hard these guys work, and I want them to know that I appreciate their effort; and I hope that you do as well


Daniel Plunkett:

I'm thankful for Gina Carano.

I'm thankful we get to see St. Pierre vs. Penn 2.

I'm thankful somebody came up with this idea. The second paragraph of the description includes the words "from the three-time winner of the feminist porn awards..." which is hilarious in itself.

I'm thankful Seth Petruzelli ended the hype train known as Kimbo Slice.

I'm thankful for Don Frye's mustache.


Scott Kuczkowski:

I'm thankful people have stopped talking about how thin the UFC Heavyweight division is.

I'm thankful Randy Couture is back with the UFC and apparently still has the fire to fight the best guys in the world.

I'm thankful I don't have to watch anymore Kimbo fights on CBS and listen to the announcers call him one of the top heavyweight fighters in the world.

I'm thankful more than one of the remaining promotions left standing has claimed interest in promoting women's MMA.


John Curry:

I am thankful for the following:

The fall of Kimbo. Great guy who was built on a glass is reminded he is human.

Brian Butler and the guys down at Suckerpunch Entertainment.

The WEC for providing some of the best fights in MMA this past year.

The thought of Cane vs. Brock and not saying the WWE's name.

Pat Miletich for being willing to train me regardless of being deaf.

My fellow writers who without I wouldn't have the inspiration to talk about some of the crazy stuff I do.

For finally finishing my BA degree.

...and most importantly...

The readers who read my columns. The Ramano, cyks, Toddo, and everyone else. In this world of writing we are only as good as the amount of readers we have. If it weren't for you our website would not be anything worth mentioning.


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Till next time Punch Drunk buckaroos, here's your "Monday Morning Moment of Zen" extra-serving of MMA-flavored cranberry sauce, tart and sweet all at the same time - proof that Fedor isn't invincible plus Frank Shamrock keeping it real with an enthusiastic blogger! HAVE A GREAT THANKSGIVING!



If it bleeds, we can kill it...





Now *that* is dedication!






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