The Verbal Submission 12.23.08: UFC 92 Preview, Arlovski 360, Tito Cosell, and Fights!

Posted by Chris Robinson on 12.23.2008

It's the last Verbal Submission before Santa Claus sneaks down your chimney and leaves every season of The Ultimate Fighter under your tree. What a guy! I've also got my highly suspect thoughts on UFC 92: The Ultimate 2008, Andre Arlovski's foray into the world of web video, Tito Ortiz keeping that spotlight firmly planted on his giant head, and more! So get some hot cocoa, throw some chestnuts on the open fire, and calmly read my personal brand of insanity.

From a rain and snow soaked apartment at the Jersey Shore, it's the latest edition of the Verbal Submission and I am Chris Robinson. With Christmas just days away, Hanukkah in full swing, and Kwanzaa right around the corner, the UFC is having their own holiday celebration at UFC 92: BUY THIS CARD. In today's column I'll go BALLS DEEP into the triple main event along with the other two televised matches. If there's one thing I know in MMA, it's the rivalry between Rampage and Silva from PRIDE. If there's two things I know, it's that Minotauro Nogueira can't be beaten unless judges are involved. If there's three things I know, it's that Rashad Evans likes to prove people wrong. Also on tap for today, I'll provide Andre Arlovski with a little cinematography advice as he presents his new web docu-series "Arlovski 360". I was really hoping it was just him spinning around really fast and then vomiting, but you can't always get what you want. I'll take a look at Tito Ortiz's foray into the world of announcing for that dreaded t-shirt company whose name I dare not speak. All this and the UFC has decided to go fight announcement CRAZY with lots of big names stepping back into the cage in 2009. So let's jump into the news! CANNON BALLLLLLL!!!

Make the bad man stop!


UFC 92: SERIOUSLY, BUY THIS CARD
So after two top notch free cards in the month of December, the UFC decided to play it safe and give us a card with only one decent fight on it. NOT!!! (Yeah, I pulled out "NOT". Jealous?) The triple main event features five fighters who have all held championships in the UFC or PRIDE (can we count winning TUF as a championship for Rashad? Sort of, right?). The undercard isn't filled with slouches either, but for the purposes of my column I'll only be reviewing the televised card. I might actually participate in my first 411 Round Table for this card, but no promises.

CHEICK KONGO VS. MUSTAPHA AL TURK

This fight features perennial top heavyweight contender Kongo trying to stay on the winning track so he can eventually fight for the UFC heavyweight title. Kongo's two losses in the UFC were via decision so no one has really dominated him. Plus, he holds a win over Cro Cop, but lately it seems having that on your record is like having a win over Tank Abbot. Al Turk is making his UFC debut and he holds a win over Mark Kerr. Again, that's really like having a win over Tank Abbot (What's with all the Abbot bashing?) Al Turk's experience is all based in the Cage Rage promotion and he's a ground & pound guy. So this fight is probably going to the ground and punches will be thrown. Hopefully, someone will lose consciousness. Clear cut enough? Since I've never seen Al Turk fight, and I can't come up with a clever nickname for him, I'll predict Kongo by decision.

Cheick Kongo has a highlight reel? Well I'll be damned.


CB DOLLAWAY VS. MIKE MASSENZIO

This fight features CB "Arm bars be damned" Dollaway trying to pick up his second win in the Octagon against New Jersey native Mike "Um.. Master of Disaster...really?" Massenzio. Massenzio had an impressive UFC debut when he submitted Drew McFredries via armbar at Fight Night: Diaz vs. Neer. Dollaway and Massenzio actually faced off before but it was inside an amateur wrestling circle, and they weren't allowed to throw punches (what's the point!?). Dollaway came out on top in that match, so Massenzio is looking for some retribution and to actually profit from the outcome. I'm sure he'll be looking for an arm bar (who wouldn't), but this fight could be tricky. There's been a pattern lately that when two skilled wrestlers fight each other they tend to abandon the wrestling thing and go with the punching thing. I can't bet against a fellow Jersey native, especially one with such a solid submission game, so I'll go with Massenzio by submission in round two. Sorry CB, I just don't see that potential that other people apparently do.

She's thinking, "How could someone so pale be so susceptible to an arm bar?" He's thinking, "If I smack her ass once, is that considered tapping out?"


ANTONIO MINOTAURO NOGUEIRA VS. FRANK "THE DOUCHE" MIR

That's not his nickname? Weird. Where as the billing for this match features the phrase "for the Interim UFC Heavyweight Title", we all know this match is to determine who faces Brock Lesnar next. The winner of that fight will be the true heavyweight champ. Everything I've read leading up to this fight hypes it as the most feared submission artist from PRIDE vs. the most feared submission artist from the UFC. I tend not to think Mir fits that billing, but that's just me. Another common belief is that if the fight leaves the first round, Mir will gas and lose. Here's how I see it. They'll come out, trade jabs, Nogueira will slip in a puddle of Mir's hair product, but still somehow catch Mir in a submission and win. Seriously though, I know many fans want to see Brock Lesnar get another crack at Mir and those people are called Brock Lesnar Fans. I would like to see Lesnar tested against someone with the durability of Nogueira to really cement his place as the top heavyweight not named Fedor. The UFC can always market a Mir vs. Lesnar rematch down the line with no problem, but a Nogueira vs. Lesnar title unification bout at UFC 100 would be swEEEt. So to be clear, I predict Nogueira winning this fight by third round submission. Frank Mir will then ride off on his motorcycle and....

Let me count the "What Ifs?". One. Two. Three. Crunch. Are we still talking about Tootsie Pops?


FORREST GRIFFIN VS. RASHAD EVANS

It's the light heavyweight title fight that couldn't possibly carry a show on it's own! It still amazes me that they threw this fight on this card when they could've put it on the Dublin card, but I'm no Joe Silva. I've followed both of these guys since their days on TUF, and their paths up to this point have been ridiculously similar. Forrest lost a controversial decision to Tito Ortiz. Rashad went to a draw with Tito. Forrest defeated Stephan Bonnar twice. Rashad took Bonnar out as well. Forrest holds big victories over Rampage Jackson and Shogun Rua. Rashad made Chuck Liddell forget his ABC's with one punch.

So now they meet to determine the championship at light heavyweight. Griffin has been training with Wanderlei Silva lately so you know he's had a snorkel in his mouth and several ice baths. Griffin's conditioning was already top notch, but it's probably insane now. Rashad has never been in a five rounder before and that could be an advantage for Forrest, but I doubt it. These two are going to stand and bang. Granted, Rashad's coaches, Jackson and Winklejohn, will come up with the perfect plan for this fight, but I doubt it involves much on the ground. Constantly taking Forrest down and working ground & pound is effective on points, but it also creates fatigue. If the fight goes to the fourth or fifth, it might be a great idea, but standing and trading with Forrest is their best bet. For Griffin, I don't believe he can knock Rashad out (although anything can happen), so I see him trying to grind out a decision. That's just the way he fights. The big question is can Rashad knock Forrest out? I'm going to give that a big hell yes. Keith Jardine knocked Griffin out and guess who Keith Jardine trains with? No really, guess. It's been great seeing Griffin go from TUF champion to World Champion, but unfortunately it's looking like a one and done situation. My prediction for this fight is Rashad Evans by second round TKO. Up next for Rashad could be Wanderlei Silva.

Does he mean Geddy Lee? Bass player from Rush? That guy doesn't quit either.


WANDERLEI "THE AXE MURDERER" SILVA VS. QUINTON "RAMPAGE" JACKSON

For those that don't know, these are my two favorite mixed martial artists. I've been a fan of Silva since his days in PRIDE when he would knock Sakuraba out every couple of months for giggles and yen. I've got most of those fights on VHS. VHS! I've been a fan of Rampage since his days in PRIDE as well ever since I saw him powerbomb Ricardo Arona. Then I found out he had already faced Silva and been knocked out. So I was psyched to see the rematch, but less psyched when I saw Rampage go headfirst through the ropes like an unconscious person. (I started collected PRIDE tapes in 2005, so yes I know I saw things a bit out of order.)

Fast forward to 2008, and these two are on a collision course once more. The winner will most likely get a shot at the 205 title. Even though Silva is coming off his first win in the Octagon since 1999, his impressive destruction of Keith Jardine (and his star power) has landed him just one win away from a crack at the gold. For Rampage, MMA fans are still debating his decision loss to Forrest Griffin, so his place as top contender is justified.

The big question is will this fight provide a different outcome than the first two. Silva still utilizes the KO power he has in both hands and knees to absolutely brutalize his opponents. Combine that ferocity with his unquestionable conditioning, and Silva can pretty much win a fight any way he wants to. Rampage is coming off perhaps the most peculiar year of his career. He lost his title, stopped sleeping, sort of killed a baby, fired his money hungry coach, and went off to train in England. Now he's fighting a man he's never defeated, and mentally you have to question how that will affect him. Also, what will his strategy be to actually defeat Silva? Will he implement the same jab and defend strategy that teammate Michael Bisping used in his fight against Chris Leben? Will he be aggressive and come right at Silva to neutralize any game plan Silva tries? Will he kiss the hard side of a Brazilian knee en route to a third straight loss to the Axe Murderer? I'm hoping this fight goes the full three rounds and these two give us a fight of the year candidate with destructive strikes, big slams, and blood, blood, blood. My prediction for this fight, unfortunately, is Wanderlei Silva by TKO in the third round. Evans vs. Silva anyone?

He's Jifferent. I'm Jifferent. Who the hell is Jifferent?


ANDRE ARLOVSKI: 360 DEGREES OF SOMETHING, SOMETHING...dark side
In Fedor Emelianenko's second bout with a former UFC heavyweight champion, Andre Arlovski will step in the ring with the "Last Emperor" at Affliction: We Swear This Isn't Our Last Show. Now over the last several months, I've stated several times that web video production is a great way for individual fighters to help build hype. Anyone can throw together a video blog (Hi Mike Swick!), but if they take the time to produce what I call a "hype-umentary", they can really glue the eyeballs to the screen. In the first episode of "Arlovski 360", Arlovski's production people borrow some elements from HBO 24/7 (which I've never seen because I don't follow boxing or have HBO) and portray the upcoming fight as the biggest fight in MMA history. Whoa there tiger! I said create hype, not a fantasy land!

Now I'm not going to go into the actual fight. I want to focus more on the highs and lows of Episode 1. I understand the stylistic approach they're taking here. They're trying to portray Andre as a normal guy with incredible abilities that puts his shoes on one at a time. They did this by showing Andre making his bed and walking his dog. Then they get into the documentary style by interviewing friends, coaches, Big John McCarthy, and a Lithuanian midget named Ebbett. Ok, you got me. No midget. This is all followed by Andre going to church, staring blankly at his laptop, and running in the snow. We get into more training footage and then former NBA player Kendall Gill shows up to hype up Arlovski. When did Kendall Gill become a MMA personality?

Overall, the production value was top notch. The story was a little weak, but it's an episodic series so I'll let that slide. Hardcore fans won't take away any earth shattering revelations about Arlovski. New fans with little knowledge won't learn much. It basically came off as a fluff piece, or an introductory segment. I think limiting it to just under four and a half minutes was done with consideration to people's attention span, but they could've done a bit more. I would've liked to have seen more time spent with Andre to get his thoughts and then bringing in the other people's opinions in Episode 2 (which will focus on his training according to the tease at the end of Episode 1). Hopefully Affliction can convince the fine folks at ESPN to give this some coverage, or even convince YouTube to feature it on their main page. Only that kind of mass attention will turn this web piece for diehard fans into a mass marketing tool for the fight.

Here's the full episode for you to watch all by yourself. Check out the artsy bench shot at :14 seconds in.


TITO ORTIZ: HE PUTS THE ANAL IN ANALYSIS
So the fine folks at Affliction announced that Tito Ortiz will be a apart of their broadcast team at Affliction: Anything to Survive. I'm sure Tito will focus on the fights and not on shameless self promotion. There's also the latest project his girlfriend is working on, but I'm sure that won't come up. There won't be any bashing of "that other organization" either. No, you can expect the Huntington Beach Boy to be a class act all the way.

PLEASE!

Everyone knows this is just another ploy by Tito to keep his face in the farts and minds of MMA fans, while showing the UFC that he doesn't need them. Then when June rolls around, that's the month Tito claims he'll be ready to fight by, Affliction will get ready to sign him to fat contract they can't afford. Then, the UFC will swoop in (Lorenzo Fertitta not Dana White) and give him more money to return to the UFC. Think I'm wrong? Wait and see. Besides, Tito actually rambled off the entire list of 205'ers that Affliction has to MMAJunkie.com and none of those fights are overly exciting. Tito vs. Babalu? Babalu is the better striker. Tito tries to take him down. Three rounds of who cares. Tito vs. Matyushenko? Not going to waste my time. Tito vs. Little Nog? Intriguing, but still doesn't get my blood pumping. Tito vs. Sokoudjou? Probably the most interesting of all the potential match-ups, but I doubt it could garner any extra buys for an event.

Look. I like Tito Ortiz. I really do, but unless this back surgery really is the solution to Tito's lackluster performances in his last several fights, we're getting the same old Tito back in June 2009. He'll hype his fight as the biggest and the best. He'll win and start to posture for WAMMA to create their light heavyweight title. He'll win that and start talking smack about whoever the UFC light heavyweight champ is. Then he'll peace out on WAMMA and go back to the UFC. One way or another, Tito Ortiz will end up back with the UFC. I'm just saying!

You will never forget this SUIT...bro.


KING MO MO MA MO MA MO MO MO
In an effort to broaden my MMA knowledge, and get more into the Japanese MMA scene, I try to get excited when websites announce upcoming matches for DREAM cards and Sengoku cards. A few months back I read on a message board about a guy named "King Mo" that was allegedly impressive and a product of Team Quest. Team Quest? Well then he must be somewhat talented! So when MMAJunkie.com announced Muhammed "King Mo" Lawal was fighting Yukiya Naito at Sengoku no Ran 2009, I said "What the hell is a "no Ran 2009"? Seriously though, Lawal is definitely a prospect to watch at 205 pounds (Sherdog has him listed at 185 for some reason). With only two fights under his belt, he's no where near the "top light heavyweight" talks, but after watching his last fight against Travis Wiuff, he might be a part of those talks someday. He's a true blue ground and pounder just like good ol' Dan Henderson, and he possesses some KO power in his right hand. So if you're unfamiliar with Lawal, like I was, here's a clip of him destroying Travis Wiuff at Sengoku yes Walk 2008.

There's got to be a better nickname for him then "King Mo". He does come out in a cape and a crown though, so honestly it's hard to argue with him based on presentation.


UFC (and WEC) FIGHT ANNOUNCEMENTS GALORE!
FiveOuncesofPain.com and MMA Junkie.com must have some sort of crystal ball OR a working cellular phone. Those are the only two explanations for the multitude of fight announcements they reported in the past week for UFC 95, UFC 96, Fight Night 17, and a future WEC show. Let's talk about 'em!

UFC 95 will have a co-main event of Diego Sanchez vs. Joe Stevenson, which will mark Sanchez's debut at 155. With Kenny Florian already drooling at the opportunity to show Diego he's a better fight now than he was on TUF, I'm sure KenFlo is rooting for The Nightmare here. Stevenson needs a win in this fight to stay relevant because a loss means a further drop down the title contention ladder. Title contention ladders are available at your local Home Depot.

Hope this isn't a metaphor for his drop down to 155.


Another potential UFC 95 bout will see top middleweight contenders Wilson "I Can Make Weight" Gouveia taking on Nathan Marquardt. After Gouveia's devastation of Jason MacDonald, eyes were opened to the fact that a Gouveia vs. Anderson Silva fight might be interesting at some point. Of course, Marquardt has already played that game (he lost horribly!), so a win for Gouveia here would open eyes even wider. Wider than your mom! These two bouts at UFC 95, which will be in England, will surely be enough to quench that British thirst for MMA action. Unfortunately, no Bisping on the card due to his upcoming TUF commitments, but I'm sure the "Coolest Guy in the UK" will stop by for a crowd cameo.

UFC 96 could feature a bout between rising heavyweight prospect Shane Carwin and falling heavyweight prospect Gabriel Gonzaga. Gonzaga has looked good of late, but he's stepping in front of a freight train named Shane Carwin. None of Carwin's fights have gone past the first round, and fan boys everywhere have already started fantasizing about a Carwin vs. Lesnar match-up. Gonzaga is no push over though, and I'm sure he doesn't want to be a gatekeeper (what happened to Assuerio Silva?). A win for Carwin here probably puts him two fights away from a title shot. It's just that easy!

Shane Carwin wearing a hat. Hmmm.


Another UFC 96 rumor making the rounds is Brandon "The False" Vera fighting Mike Patt. Yes! The Mike Patt! Patt is best known for losing his UFC debut to Tim Boetsch at UFC 88. Brandon Vera is best known for squandering any and all potential he had as a top fighter during his last several fights. Vera has looked horrid since dropping down to 205 and at this point may be looking at a terminated contract if he can't get by Patt. Basically, Patt is a jobber and if Vera can't beat the jobber then Vera is unemployed. That clear enough? UFC 96 is still main event less and honestly, I doubt this fight will even be on the main card.

Former WEC middleweight Jake Rosholt makes the leap to the UFC for Fight Night 17, which is headlined by Joe Lauzon vs. Hermes Franca. Rosholt proved in his one WEC bout that you can punch him in the face relentlessly, but he'll still take you down and win. The guy has an iron FACE. Rosholt's opponent, Alessio Sakara, is great at beating scrubs, but he's had his problems against big name opponents. Look for Rosholt's stand-up to be improved here (hopefully!), but I think the experienced Sakara will be too much to handle for Big Jake.

Another bout for FN17 will be heavyweight up and comer Cain Velasquez against UFC newcomer Denis Stojnic. Velasquez is another guy whose name comes up when talking about title contenders mainly because his hands are even bigger than Brock Lesnar's. Does size matter? I know nothing about Stojnic, but he does have the nickname "The Menace" (Get it? Denis the Menace? HA!). Velasquez is an absolute beast, so expect him to walk through Stojnic. Oh one other thing, sign the damn video game contract Cain! That is all.

I haven't had my Ariel Helwani fix in a while. Here's an interview he conducted with Cain during the video game fiasco.


The WEC had a big fight rumor solidified as well this past week as Mike Brown will take on Leonard Garcia for the WEC featherweight title. Garcia decimated Jens Pulver at WEC 36, which was the same show Brown took the title from Urijah Faber. While Brown was impressive in his title win, I think Garcia should be considered the favorite. His hand speed and KO power are unquestionable, and I doubt he'll throw a useless spinning back elbow. This one will be a 145 pound stand-up war! WAR I SAY!

The other big rumor which isn't attached to a fight card yet is Chuck Liddell vs. Keith Jardine. We all know how Chuck likes to avenge losses, and a rematch with Jardine is the perfect way to get that ball rolling. It would be an interesting match-up to see if Liddell will stray from his usual style and learn from his mistakes in their first fight. For those who don't remember, Jardine utilized leg kicks to totally bamboozle the Iceman en route to a split decision. If Liddell does get by Jardine, I assume next up would be a third go round with Rampage. I'm glad Liddell realized a fourth bout with Randy Couture would be downright silly, and a super fight with Anderson Silva could be devastating if he loses. This fight with Jardine is definitely the safe path, but it should still garner some interest. It probably would've garnered more had Jardine not been knocked the F out by Wanderlei Silva, but you know, shit happens.

Now that's what I call a SPLIT DECISION.


RANDY COUTURE: SUPERSTAR!
MMAWeekly.com is reporting that former UFC heavyweight champion Randy Couture will have a major role in the new Sylvester Stallone film, "The Expendables". Couture's part was originally written for Wesley Snipes, but who the hell knows where Wesley Snipes is? Am I right? The rest of the cast includes Jet Li (awesome), Jason Statham (sounds good), Dolph Lundgren (the hell?), and Academy Award winner Forest Whitaker (is this a joke?). I imagine the plot line is something along the lines of each actor tells the story of how his career went off track and they ended up in this film. It's either that, or this group of men go on a mission to convince Evander Holyfield to stop boxing. Wait...ok they're mercenaries trying to overthrow a ruthless dictator. Yeap, Stallone wrote it.

This video has nothing to do with Randy Couture! NOTHING!


PHIL BARONI WANTS TO RETURN TO THE UFC
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Seriously? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yeah, not a chance.

If he can do it, so can I? Right? Anybody?


END OF THE THIRD ROUND
That ends your pre-holiday edition of "The Verbal Submission". Thanks to Sherdog.com, MMAJunkie.com, MMAJunkie.com, UFC.com, MMAWeekly.com, FiveOuncesofPain.com, and YouTube.com. Be sure to check out all the latest MMA coverage here at 411Mania.com by our crack MMA staff, and not our MMA staff on crack. Goodbyes and Goodlucks go out to Bren Oliver who's leaving us to head over to FiveOuncesofPain.com. You're a dirty, rotten, sell-out traitor. I've always loved you, Bren.

And in other news, this passes for a MMA fight in DREAM. Oh those crazy Japanese! So much fun they have yes!


The Empire Hardcore Podcast is off for the rest of 2008, but check out our past episodes at Podomatic.com and on iTunes. Be sure to check out my comedic archives on YouTube. Also, I twitter here. I'll be back next Tuesday to review UFC 92, brag about my Christmas haul, make up holiday MMA wish lists like everyone else, and fart on a snare drum.

Kick. Punch. It's all in the mind.

-CPR