The Ultimate Writer 02.16.09: And So This Is Goodbye.......
Posted by Dustin James on 02.16.2009
It's the final edition of "The Ultimate Writer" on 411mania.com so let's make it a good one! Join 411's Dustin James as he discusses Karo Parisyan's failed drug test, the latest UFC releases, and much much more......
Welcome to the FINAL edition of "The Ultimate Writer", not just on 411mania.com.....but anywhere. I have been writing this little column for around 5 months now and I have thoroughly enjoyed delivering MMA news, views, and a whole plethora of other delicious goodies, but it's time for me to move on. What's happening? Where am I going? Has 411 finally had enough of Dustin James and given me the boot? All these answers and more can be found at the end of this article. So for now, enjoy the final edition of "The Ultimate Writer!".........
LET'S GET IT ON!!!!!
The Week That Was:
UFC
Karo Parisyan....who wants some pain meds?
"Don't worry....after I'm done beating you, I got something that will make you feel a million times better."
In what can only be referred to as a "SHOCKING" story (at least in the eyes of many in the UFC), UFC welterweight Karo Parisyan has tested positive for the painkillers Hydrocodone, Hydromorophe and Oxymorphone. Wow. Now THAT sounds like a good time (if by good time, you want to basically be in a medicine-induced coma on your couch with bits of saliva dripping from your chin). The big question everyone has with this is, is this considered cheating? These aren't really performance-enhancing drugs, unless you believe that by taking painkillers, Karo's body can take more physical abuse. Is that true? I don't know. I have taken plenty of Vicodin in my day and all I can say is, if someone punched me while I was in a Vicodin-induced coma.....I would probably still feel it and cry like a baby to boot. So, what do you do if you are the NSAC? Do you overturn the decision and rule the fight a "no contest"? That would be fantastic news for Dong Hyun Kim who would get his first official loss wiped clean from his record. The bottom line is, Karo screwed up. The dude has some big time mental issues going on inside his head (panic attacks anyone?) and truly shouldn't fight again until he feels he's 100%. Get your head on straight and then return to fighting Karo......
UFC Releases
"I'm way too good looking to be unemployed.....!"
Oh man. A lot of UFC fighters joined the unemployment line this week. Let's take a look at some of the guys who will be fighting in a local armory near you real soon........
-Rich Clementi: I have to admit. This one took me by surprise. Clementi was a very good gatekeeper for the UFC and was almost always entertaining whenever he stepped foot in the Octagon. I highly expect Clementi to get some victories on the smaller MMA scene (with the way he fights, he might have fought during the time it took me to write this paragraph) and then rejoin the UFC by year's end.
-Luigi Fioravanti: This one didn't really surprise me that much. I said last week that I wouldn't be shocked if the UFC released Luigi or gave the guy one more chance. Needless to say, the UFC thought it would be best to go their separate ways. I highly expect Fioravanti to join Strikeforce. Why? So they can feed Jake Shields some former UFC welterweights.
-Eddie Sanchez: Not surprised at all by this one. Sanchez is an exciting heavyweight to watch. However he is extremely inconsistent and the UFC hates that.
-Derek Downey: Who? Exaccctly.
-Christian Wellisch: Wellisch now knows what it feels like to be released twice in the span of 4 months. Put this man on suicide-watch.
-Nate Mohr: No surprise here. Mohr was 1-3 in the UFC and that's just not going to cut it in the world's biggest MMA organization.
-Matt Arroyo: The former "Ultimate Fighter" cast member gets dumped after losing to the very green Dan Cramer at UFC 94. No surprise here. While Arroyo looked like he had potential while on the sixth season of "TUF", he never reached it and probably never will.
All in all, no shocking releases by the UFC. The only guys I could see the UFC bringing back would be Clementi and possibly Luigi. As for the other guys? McDonald's is always hiring.
UFC 97...in Jeopardy???
"GROSS! Put a shirt on Trebek!"
UFC 97 "Silva vs. Leites" may be in Jeopardy......why? Well, here's 411's Dan Plunkett to fill you in on the details:
"Last week, Strikebox ran its inaugural show in Montreal, the idea for the organization that it would eliminate ground fighting, so you could only strike, take your opponent down, and attempt "flying" submissions. The rules for the event were not passed in time, so the event would take place under MMA rules, so once the fights went to the ground the referees couldn't just stand the fighters up as originally planned. So the fighters took it upon themselves to have a gentleman's agreement to just use the original rules. All was well until the main event, which saw James Thompson, the man who had his ear exploded by Kimbo Slice, took his opponent, former hockey enforcer and fan favorite, Steve Bosse down and unleash some ground and pound. With the referee not allowed to stand them up, the fans became restless and started throwing beer and other items into the cage. Due to the near riotous situation, the fight was stopped, and the event is reportedly causing the Quebec Athletic Commission to re-evaluate the rules of MMA within the province.
Some rule changes that could take place include requiring cages to be smaller, that is smaller than the octagon the UFC uses. Other potential rule changes include making knee and elbow strikes illegal, and when a fighter is knocked down the referee must halt the bout to make sure the fighter is okay."
Yes....James Thompson, the man who helped KILL EliteXC (I don't care what you say, the Thompson/Slice fight put the death wheels in motion for EliteXC) could be partially responsible for UFC 97 not being in Montreal. Now, as for the fans being restless and throwing beer and shit into the ring....that's ridiculous. You don't waste good beer on someone like James Thompson. That's the difference between Canadians and Americans. The Canadians will throw their beer in the cage. Us Americans....we know how tough the economy is right now. We would throw our kids into the cage before we wasted a good $5 beer.
All jokes aside, this story is incredibly retarded. The rules that the Quebec Athletic Commission are trying to abide by are completely retarded. Here's an idea....it's suppose to be an MMA show featuring MMA fighters. Let the guys fight in their elements. As for UFC 97? The show may be saved. Why? Because SUPERDANA White is heading to Quebec to see if he can get the rules changed (no knee or elbow strikes). Nothing new has come out of the situation yet, but it's my personal opinion that White should just say "BLAME CANADA" and move the show to Portland, Oregon. We would never throw beer into the ring here.....
Junie Browning's Brother.....likely to appear on next season of "TUF"
Did you know that this guy has a brother?......Uh oh!
Robert Browning, the brother of Junie, has been confirmed for the ninth season of "The Ultimate Fighter" which is scheduled to start airing in April. Now, I know NOTHING about Robert Browning, but if he's anything like his brother Junie....we are in for a treat here. Junie was solely responsible for making everyone's life on last season's "TUF" miserable. He was an alcoholic with mental issues. Nothing is scarier than that. Why? Because an alcoholic with mental issues has a tendency to get drunk and blame all their problems on the world. I'm not saying Robert Browning is anything like his brother, but I sure as hell hope not. Junie was a disgrace to the show and made the MMA world look incredibly stupid with his presence on "TUF" last season. I'm sorry, but showcasing an MMA fighter who likes to get drunk and then fight anyone who looks at him cross-eyed isn't exactly doing a whole hell of a lot of goodwill for the sport in general. If Robert Browning can take this seriously and is actually looking to make a name for himself in MMA, then I wish him the best.
However, if he's looking to become more of a "reality TV star" than his brother was....I have absolutely no interest in seeing him on the show. Let's just hope the UFC officials learned their lesson and will replace all the glasses in the house with plastic cups. Imagine if Junie would have thrown a plastic cup at Shane Primm rather than a glass one.....I would still be laughing!
Affliction
Affliction's next show......in May????
Time for another Affliction show already???
With the recent news that Affliction heavyweight Andrei Arlovski is looking to make his professional boxing debut in April, rumors have surfaced that Arlovski may have to put his boxing debut on hold due to the fact that Affliction could hold it's next PPV special in May. After the success of "Day Of Reckoning", many insiders mentioned that Affliction's next PPV special could come in either June or July. However, Affliction has mentioned that they are interested in holding up to 4 shows this year and by holding a show in May which could feature Fedor vs. Barnett, that would leave them with enough time to book another show in August/September and then in November/December. Of course, all this relies on one Fedor Emelianenko. It's pretty obvious to anyone with a pulse that if Affliction doesn't feature Fedor....then the overall interest in the show drops dramatically. Affliction really needs to build up some new stars in hopes that they can promote a PPV around someone not named Fedor. That is going to prove to be a difficult task in today's economy. Let's face it, people aren't willing to shell out $40-50 to see an Affliction PPV with a bunch of UFC cast-offs on it. Affliction needs to build some new stars and work on building a fan base. The company is doing a decent job right now, but they will have to step it up if they want to make a long lasting impact in the MMA world.
Strikeforce
Strikeforce interested in Kimbo Slice???
I know this picture isn't Kimbo....but it could be!
Yes, in news that should shock no one.....Strikeforce has confirmed that they are interested in Kevin "Kimbo Slice" Ferguson. I personally have nothing against Slice, I just had a problem with the way that EliteXC promoted him. EliteXC promoted Slice as if he was just as good as Fedor, if not better. Now anyone who knows how to breath oxygen (minus $kala!) knows how far from the truth that is. Slice is a one-dimensional fighter with no cardio who will knock you out if he connects. That's it right there. That is Kimbo Slice in a nutshell. Strikeforce is nowhere near as moronic as EliteXC was though. Strikeforce has revealed that they plan on giving Slice some developmental fights before even considering putting him into a main event slot. Wow! Now that's GREAT booking 101. Are you paying attention Gary and Jared Shaw? Someone not named Dana White knows how to book an MMA promotion. It's not rocket science people.
As I previously mentioned. I have no problem with Slice competing in Strikeforce, as long as Strikeforce knows how to promote the guy.....and it seems like they do.
Frank Shamrock vs. Nick Diaz set for April 11 show
Bet you didn't know that this guy has braces.......
In what could be considered HUGE news for Strikeforce fans, the company has announced that former Strikeforce middleweight champion Frank Shamrock will face Nick Diaz on the April 11 show on Showtime. This is a fantastic fight in my opinion. These two guys always bring it and since a title shot against Cung Le could be on the line....both of them WILL bring it. I'm pulling for a Diaz victory as I would really love to see if Strikeforce would give Diaz a shot against Le. Either way, Strikeforce is on a roll right now. The April 11 show currently looks like this:
-Frank Shamrock vs. Nick Diaz
-Gilbert Melendez vs. Mitsuhiro Ishida (RUMORED!)
-Josh Thomson vs. KJ Noons (Could be off, could be on....who knows!)
-Scott Smith vs. Benji Radach
Ummm.....yes please! Add a few more names to this card and you have a potentially fantastic card on your hands. Count me excited!
Where are they now?
This feature looks at fighters who have been inactive for some time. Where exactly have they gone? I don't know and I'm reaching out to you guys to help us find these missing MMA stars......
MISSING
Cung Le
Ahh yes....good ol Cung Le! Where oh where is Cung Le hiding at? I had heard rumors that Le is possibly hiding out in Hollywood filming movies and such, but that has to be bogus rumors right. I mean, what kind of name value does Cung Le have in the mainstream world? I mean, outside of people in Vietnam and the kickboxing world....who knows of Cung Le? The man is only 6-0 in his professional MMA career, so it's not like he is considered a future hall-of-famer or anything. It's all good though. I'm sure Le is too busy training to further his MMA career rather than acting in a Tekken movie that 12 people want to see. Hurry up and get back Le....show the world that when you broke Frank Shamrock's arm it wasn't a fluke!
If you know the whereabouts of Cung Le, please contact Dustin James at sickboyv1@aol.com, or go to his myspace located here.
Random Top 10 List Time!
Here you will see a random top 10 list put together by yours truly. It may be Top 10 submission fighters, Top 10 stand-up fighters, or hell, even Top 10 ways that Anderson Silva could kill you. Seriously, don't mess with that man. He's dangerous.
My Top 5 411mania.com Moments: (Since this is my last time doing this here....I figured I would deliver to you, my top 5 memories here at 411mania.com's MMA zone!)
ARE YOU READY?
(This list is in no particular order)
5A. Getting hired to do the rankings - I use to have a list of the top 20 pound for pound fighters in MMA on my personal MySpace page for my friends to see. Then I got word that 411 was looking for an MMA rankings guy, so I threw my name in the hat and the rest is history!
5B. Breaking the story about EliteXC stripping KJ Noons of the EliteXC Lightweight Title - I was the first one to report it! Check it out for yourself!
4. My Evan Tanner story running in Texas Fight News Magazine - I'm ALONG way from Texas, so it was awesome to hear that a magazine in Texas was going to run my 411 fighter profile on the late-Evan Tanner!. They even sent me copies of the magazine to show off to my dogs!
3. Breaking the story of Rashad Evans vs. Chuck Liddell at UFC 88 - Who said that 411mania.com doesn't break exclusive stories? I was the first one to report that the UFC 88 main event would be Chuck Liddell vs. Rashad Evans. Don't believe me? See for yourself!.
2. Interviewing Sean Sherk & Ed Herman - You can't go wrong with interviewing the former UFC lightweight champion. He's actually a pretty mellow and soft spoken dude. And of course I'm going to throw Herman on there seeing as he's my boy and all.....
1. Getting to know all of you - Seriously, the only reason I wrote this article every week was because it was a great chance to get to share some of my MMA knowledge with you, as well as learn new tricks from you guys. Getting to know the guys here at 411 was outstanding. I have seen this little MMA zone grow from a little zone on 411, to perhaps the best zone currently running here. If you are an enthusiastic MMA fan who loves to write, I highly recommend throwing a piece together and sending it into Ashish and Larry. They are two of the greatest guys you can work for and I have had nothing but good times here in 411's MMA zone!
Current Champions:
This feature is pretty self explanatory. I list the current champions in each relevant promotion, and you guys sit and read. Easy enough for ya?
Brock Lesnar - UFC Heavyweight Champion
Won the title from Randy Couture back on November 15, 2008 at UFC 91.
Frank Mir - Interim UFC Heavyweight Championship
Won the title from Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira back on December 27, 2008 at UFC 92
Rashad Evans - UFC Light Heavyweight Champion
Won the title from Forrest Griffin back on December 27, 2008 at UFC 92
Anderson Silva - UFC Middleweight Champion
Won the title from Rich Franklin back on October 14, 2006 at UFC 64
Georges St. Pierre - UFC Welterweight Champion
Won the title from Matt Serra back on April 14, 2008 at UFC 83
BJ Penn - UFC Lightweight Champion
Won the title from Joe Stevenson back on January 19, 2008 at UFC 80
Won the title from Bobby Southworth back on November 21, 2008 at Strikeforce: Destruction
Cung Le - Strikeforce Middleweight World Champion
Won the title from Frank Shamrock back on March 29, 2008 at Strikeforce: Shamrock vs. Le
Josh Thomson - Strikeforce Lightweight Champion
Won the title from Gilbert Melendez back on June 27, 2008 at Strikeforce: Melendez vs. Thomson
Gegard Mousasi - DREAM Middleweight Champion
Won the title from Ronaldo "Jacare" Souza back on September 23, 2008 at DREAM 6
Joachim Hansen - DREAM Lightweight Champion
Won the title from Shinya Aoki back on July 21, 2008 at DREAM 5
Jamie Varner - WEC Lightweight Champion
Won the title from Rob McCullough back on February 13, 2008 at WEC 32
Mike Brown - WEC Featherweight Champion
Won the title from Urijah Faber back on November 5, 2008 at WEC 36
Miguel Torres - WEC Bantamweight Champion
Won the title from Chase Beebe back on February 13, 2008 at WEC 32
Fedor Emelianenko - WAMMA Heavyweight Champion
Won the title from Tim Sylvia back on July 19, 2008 at Affliction "Banned"
Shinya Aoki - WAMMA Lightweight Champion
Won the title from Eddie Alvarez back on December 31, 2008 at FEG FieLDS Dynamite!! 2008
Jorge Santiago - Sengoku Middleweight Champion
Won the title from Kazuo Misaki back on January 4, 2009 at Sengoku 7
Satoru Kitaoka - Sengoku Lightweight Champion
Won the title from Takanori Gomi back on January 4, 2009 at Sengoku 7
Upcoming Events:
Here are a few of the upcoming events in the wonderful world of MMA:
UFC 95: Sanchez vs. Stevenson - February 21 at The O2 Arena in London, England
-Diego Sanchez vs. Joe Stevenson
-Nate Marquardt vs. Wilson Gouveia
-Dan Hardy vs. Rory Markham
-Demian Maia vs. Chael Sonnen
-Josh Koscheck vs. Paulo Thiago
-Junior dos Santos vs. Stefan Struve
-Troy Mandaloniz vs. Paul Kelly
-Shannon Gugerty vs. Tom Lawson
-Terry Etim vs. Brian Cobb
-Mike Ciesnolevicz vs. Neil Grove
WEC 39: Brown vs. Garcia - March 1 at the American Bank Center in Corpus Christi, Texas
-Mike Brown vs. Leonard Garcia (WEC featherweight title)
-Rob McCullough vs. Marcus Hicks
-Bart Palaszewski vs. Richard Crunkilton
-Mike Budnik vs. John Franchi
-Johny Hendricks vs. Alex Serdyukov
-Jose Aldo vs. Chris Mickle
-Douglas Lima vs. Justin Haskins
-Damacio Page vs. Marcos Galvao
-Danny Castillo vs. Phil Cardella
-Alex Karalexis vs. Greg McIntyre
-Rafael Rebello vs. Kenji Osawa
UFC 96: Jackson vs. Jardine - March 7 at the Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio
-Quinton "Rampage" Jackson vs. Keith Jardine
-Gabriel Gonzaga vs. Shane Carwin
-Matt Hamill vs. Mark Munoz
-Brandon Vera vs. Mike Patt
-Gray Maynard vs. Jim Miller
-Kendall Grove vs. Jason Day
-Tim Boetsch vs. Jason Brilz
-Pete Sell vs. Matt Brown
-Shane Nelson vs. Aaron Riley
-Tamdan McCrory vs. Ryan Madigan
DREAM 7 - March 7 at the Saitama Super Arena in Saitama, Japan
-Featherweight Grand Prix:
Wicky Aiko, Micah Miller, Bibiano Fernandes, Masakazu Imanari, Kim Jong Won, Chase Beebe, Hideo Tokoro, Takafumi Otsuka, Daiki Hata, Shoji Maruyama, Atsushi Yamamoto, Joe Warren, Hiroyuki Takaya
World Victory Road's Sengoku 7 - March 20 at the National Yoyogi Stadium in Tokyo, Japan
-Muhammed Lawal vs. Ryo Kawamura
-Featherweight Grand Prix:
Chris Manuel, Hatsu Hioki, Marlon Sandro, Ronnie Ushiwaka, and Nick Denis
UFC Undisputed 2009 Update:
It's no secret that I'm a huge UFC and video game fan. I currently own an Xbox360 and a Wii, and will gladly take a PS3 if it's offered to me. With that out of the way, I can't WAIT for the upcoming UFC Undisputed 2009 video game. Therefore, "The Ultimate Writer" will be your headquarters for all the updates and news on the upcoming video game!
Will Be Released: Spring of 2009
Platform: Xbox360, PS3
Current Updates: This may be the last time I get a chance to push this game....however, due to the fact that my Xbox360 once again got the RED LIGHT OF DOOM anything video-game related at the moment can suck a big fat hairy one.
Current roster for UFC Undisputed 2009: (These are the confirmed fighters in the game thus far. The game is rumored to feature over 80 fighters.)
Heavyweight:
Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira*
Brock Lesnar*
Randy Couture
Frank Mir*
Middleweight:
Anderson Silva
Amir Sadollah
Michael Bisping*
Dan Henderson*
Welterweight:
Georges St. Pierre*
Jon Fitch
Matt Hughes
Lightweight:
BJ Penn*
Roger Huerta
Kenny Florian*
Joe Stevenson*
UFC Legends:
Royce Gracie
Non-playable Characters:
Mike Goldberg
Joe Rogan
Bruce Buffer
Mario Yamasaki
"Stitch" Duran
Arianny Celeste
Juanito Ibarra
*You can view this character's stats and profile as well as game model by visiting the official website at www.ufcundisputed.com
Current 411mania.com MMA Rankings:
These are the current MMA rankings as voted on by the staff of 411mania.com. You can catch the updated version every Thursday on 411mania.com!
Heavyweight: (last voted on January 6, 2009)
1. Fedor Emelianenko
2. Andrei Arlovski
3. Josh Barnett
4. Frank Mir
5. Brock Lesnar
6. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira
7. Randy Couture
8. Gabriel Gonzaga
9. Alistair Overeem
10. Cheick Kongo
11. Cain Velasquez
12. Fabricio Werdum
13. Tim Sylvia
14. Aleksander Emelianenko
15. Ben Rothwell
Light Heavyweight: (last voted on January 20, 2009)
1. Rashad Evans
2. Quinton "Rampage" Jackson
3. Lyoto Machida
4. Forrest Griffin
5. Mauricio "Shogun" Rua
6. Thiago Silva
7. Keith Jardine
8. Chuck Liddell
9. Wanderlei Silva
10. Luis Cane
11. Rich Franklin
12. Antonio Rogerio Nogueira
13. Vladimir Matyushenko
14. Tito Ortiz
15. Renato "Babalu" Sobral
Middleweight: (last voted on January 27, 2009)
1. Anderson Silva
2. Dan Henderson
3. Yushin Okami
4. Robbie Lawler
5. Gegard Mousasi
6. Nathan Marquardt
7. Yoshihiro Akiyama
8. Thales Leites
9. Jorge Santiago
10. Kazuo Misaki
11. Vitor Belfort
12. Michael Bisping
13. Ronaldo "Jacare" Souza
14. Frank Trigg
15. Demian Maia
Welterweight: (last voted on February 3, 2008)
1. Georges St. Pierre
2. Thiago Alves
3. Jon Fitch
4. Jake Shields
5. Josh Koscheck
6. Carlos Condit
7. Matt Hughes
8. Karo Parisyan
9. Mike Swick
10. Marcus Davis
11. Brock Larson
12. Matt Serra
13. Dustin Hazelett
14. Nick Diaz
15. Jay Hieron
Pound For Pound: (last voted on February 10, 2009)
1. Fedor Emelianenko
2. Georges St. Pierre
3. Anderson Silva
4. Miguel Torres
5. Lyoto Machida
6. BJ Penn
7. Urijah Faber
8. Rashad Evans
9. Quinton "Rampage" Jackson
10. Shinya Aoki
11. Kenny Florian
12. Jon Fitch
13. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira
14. Dan Henderson
15. Forrest Griffin
At last.....this is goodbye!
And with that, the James-era at 411mania.com is almost entirely over. The big question on alot of people's minds (at least two or three of you, I'm sure) is why am I leaving 411? Well, I never actually planned on leaving, but let's just say a fantastic opportunity came up and I just had to take it. I have enjoyed these last 14-15 months writing at 411, and I will continue to write here (a rumor going around is that it will be me taking over the Saturday morning wrestling news report! GASP!!!) but you just won't see me in the MMA zone....minus the occasional Fact or Fiction. Instead, you can catch all my MMA-related writing over at FiveOuncesOfPain.com!
I'm not gone yet though.....I will still be here tomorrow with my final edition of 411's MMA rankings. But until then, this is Dustin James....aka "The Ultimate Writer"...signing off for the last time!
