The Verbal Submission 02.24.09: MMA in PA, UFC 97 Back on, Koscheck Cries, and More!

Posted by Chris Robinson on 02.24.2009

You can't please all of the people all of the time. You can, however, still elbow someone in the face in Montreal. Pennsylvania is down for that too! Hooray for capitalism! This week's VerbSub is also chocked full of newsy goodness, my briliant opinions on UFC 95, and a commentary on fighter websites. This week I skewer Brian Bowles' website. Why would I do this? Why not!?!?

Clad in my Back to the Future t-shirt and my Justice League of America pajamas, I bring you the "Verbal Submission". I am your very comfortable writing host, Chris Robinson. The past week in MMA news has been dominated by the pre and post UFC 95 festivities. Today's column will focus on all the crying and whining that has taken place since that show went down. Also, Pennsylvania is allowing MMA in their state! Hooray! Let's introduce the Amish to the UFC with an old fashioned Lancaster Death Match! Expect Ken Shamrock to face the most slovenly Amish guy he can find at "SHAMROCK VS. JEBEDIAH: BEARDED & CONFUSED". Also in today's report, you angry Canadians finally decide that UFC 97 is A-OK, UFC 99 & 100 continue to take shape, and what is that pesky Fedor doing? All this, and a new feature I like to call "FIGHTER WEBSITES". I haven't come up with a witty name for that feature yet, but there's still time. Let's do this thing!

I just saw "...RAMPAGE VS. SUMO..." and then I blacked out.


PENNYSYLVANIA: WE GOT MMA BEFORE NEW YORK!
The big story on Monday was the state of Pennsylvania and their underfunded Athletic Commission passing a law to regulate MMA in the state. This makes them the 37th state to officially regulate the sport, which means nothing really. Chuck Liddell commented fictionally on the regulation by saying quote, "Let's get some cheesesteaks.... and whores", end quote. I haven't heard much about Dana White clamoring to get into Pennsyltucky, but I'm sure he's ecstatic to be able to run shows in Philly and Pittsburgh. Plus, local and regional promoters can open up shop now and continue to grow the sport.

This pretty much makes New York look bat shit retarded now that Jersey and Pennsylvania both regulate the sport and benefit from the revenue it brings in for big time shows. I'm sure Strikeforce will eventually promote a show in Pennsylvania, but not in NY!!! We've got to make sure to tax the crap out of soda, rape the state's healthcare budget, and let a blind cocaine snorting womanizer run the state on a goof, BUT we just can't let two men fight in a cage. Makes sense to me!

Who doesn't love a politician that falls blindly into office thanks to another politician thats addicted to prostitutes.


OH CANADA: NO STOMPING!!!
After my mildly offensive rant last week, it seems Montreal has decided that UFC 97 can take place after all with only one minor rule change. No foot stomps! Who cares! I doubt Chuck Liddell planned on stomping his way to victory over Shogun Rua anyway. Thales Leites took the news pretty hard though, fictionally claiming "If I cannot stomp Anderson Silva, then my children will go hungry. I will be homeless soon." Wait, maybe that was Karo Paryisan who said that. That guy is all hopped up on goof balls anyway.

The funny thing is that early reports stating that Dana White was headed up to Montreal to "take care of things" wre apparently false. Instead, the UFC sent Lorenzo "Good Cop" Fertitta to the Great White North along with Marc Ratner. I hope Montreal enjoys UFC 97 because you can be damn sure it's going to be a while before they see another UFC show.

I'm pretty sure this is what happened when Fertitta and crew arrived in Montreal.


UFC 95: DADDY GO BYE BYE, KOSHECK WHINING, & MAIA IS READY FOR GOLD
UFC 95 took place this past Saturday in jolly old England and if you were unaware of that then you must've been asleep since Friday. Spike managed to cram 9 of the 10 bouts that took place onto the card, and with good reason. The opening match and the main event were the only two matches that went to a decision, which was friggin' SWEET in my book. The big controversy coming out of the show was the issue with premature stoppages in both the Koscheck/Thiago fight and the Struve/Dos Santos fight. The internet message boards have been abuzz with people picking sides, with some even forgetting their hatred for Josh Koscheck, and declaring the stoppage an early one.

I don't have a clear cut opinion on the finish. On one hand, Koscheck was clearly rocked by the two punches that bounced off of his head. On the other hand, he appeared to snap back to reality once his head hit the canvas. I think the reason the referee jumped in for the stoppage so quickly was due to Paulo Thiago standing over Kos and not going in for the kill. In the ref's mind, if the fighter isn't jumping in for the kill, he must believe his opponent is done. I'm just speculating here, but feel free to jump all over my opinion anyway. Honestly, I wanted Koscheck to win this fight and stay near the top of the 170 rankings. Losing to a UFC newcomer doesn't do him any favors. I'm always up for fresh blood in the UFC though, so welcome aboard Paul Thiago!

Holy crap it's Thiago Alves, wait no, it's Thiago Silva, wait no, it's Paulo Filho, no he's 185, oh God where am I?


As for the Struve/Dos Santos fight, Struve was getting destroyed. Granted, he didn't appear to lose consciousness, but he probably would have if things continued. Dos Santos is a BEAST, and needs to be put in there with some stiffer competition. I'm thinking the loser of the upcoming Gonzaga vs. Carwin fight might make for a good opponent (which really means Gonzaga vs. Dos Santos). They're not on the same team, or have the same mom, or went to the same nursery school, did they? We all know how important teams are in MMA. Wait, no, the IFL failed.

In other UFC 95 news, Chael Sonnen found out the hard way that he still can't win in the UFC. Demian Maia is ready for a title shot. There's no question about it. There's only one man left for him to defeat before a showdown with Anderson Silva, and that is fellow UFC 95 winner, Nate Marquardt. The winner of Maia vs. Marquardt deserves a title shot. Marquardt wore down Wilson Gouveia with his impressive wearing down tactics, en route to an impressive 3rd round TKO. I don't think the UFC is too keen on Nate getting another title shot, but if he could pull out an impressive win over Maia, that opinion could change. Impressive.

Hey Chael! Guess you're not the #1 middleweight in the world? What are the odds?


Then there was the main event of the evening, and the Fight of the Night, as Diego Sanchez proved to the world what most of us already knew, "Joe Stevenson hasn't evolved as a fighter". Joe Rogan jumped on that bandwagon pretty quick didn't he? This is Stevenson's third loss in his last four fights, so I think it may be time to switch things up in the old training regimen there "Daddy". One more loss, and there's already been talk of Stevenson cutting to 145, or just losing his job. As for Diego, I'd love to see him finish a lightweight or two, but I don't think he's very far from title contention. I'm sure the UFC will throw him in there with a Sean Sherk or a Clay Guida, but the fans out there probably want to see Florian vs. Sanchez 2. If KenFlo manages to take the lightweight crown from BJ Penn, then a rematch with Diego ascends to a whole other level of awesome. Guess we'll just have to wait and see!

WTF?


UFC NEWS IN SHORT PARAGRAPH FORM, MUCH LIKE THE REST OF THE COLUMN
In last week's Verbal Submission, I said that a Wanderlei Silva vs. Rich Franklin bout would compliment the already stacked UFC 100 card. Well either Joe Silva reads my column, or I just got lucky, as that exact fight is now the co-main event for UFC 99 in Germany. The fight will take place at a catch weight of 195, which is just weird seeing as how Wandy has stated several times that a cut to 185 wouldn't be a huge problem. I guess the fact that he's not fighting some scrub at 185 lead the UFC brass to give him some breathing room on this one. Silva is coming off a devastating loss to Rampage, while Franklin is coming off a controversial loss to Dan Henderson. Both Silva and Franklin are starting to slip into that category of fighter that is out of title contention, but a big enough name to be in a main event. I hope the move to the middleweight division resurrects the tail end of Silva's career, but a loss to Franklin could further diminish the former PRIDE champion's legacy even more.

Wanderlei Silva and Demian Maia training together. Gotta love the "Wand Fight Team"!


Another potential match-up fro UFC 99 is Randy Couture vs. a returning Mirko Cro Cop. Various sites are reporting this fight isn't probable due to Couture's blossoming film career. Cro Cop on the other hand just wants to prove he's still a real boy. After a disappointing run in the UFC, he returned to Japan to get his gonads crushed by Alistair Overeem. What a DREAM! Frankly I could care less if Cro Cop returns because the shine is off the apple, and facing Randy Couture isn't the best idea for old Mirko. Granted, he is a lot smaller than Brock Lesnar, so there'd be no size issues, but I doubt Couture would have much trouble with the Croatian Sensation.

Right after this picture was taken, a young Mirko Cro Crop jumped into a Croatian DeLorean, and went into the future to stop his daughter from marrying a black guy.


Another rumor that's being bandied about by Yahoo's own Kevin Iole is a potential Fedor vs. Couture fight at UFC 100. When are we going to collectively let this go? As much as I'd love to see this fight, it needed to happen about two or three years ago to be relevant. Fedor is absolutely dominant right now and Randy is nearing the end of his career. It's like saying, "Hey, let's have Ken Shamrock fight Rashad Evans and see who the best 205'er REALLY is!". It makes no sense! Besides, FiveOuncesofPain.com is reporting that Fedor will be facing Josh Barnett in June or July, or some other month that starts with J. The WAMMA Frisbee World Title will be on the line of course because you can't spell Affliction without money.

In one last bit of WEC/UFC news, Manvel "Sigh...The Anvil" Gamburyan has decided to move down to 145. This comes after a 2-3 run in the UFC, which by all accounts is unsuccessful. I don't see Manny doing much damage in the WEC. His skill level is middle of the road at best. Is there anybody out there that's ever said, "Can't wait to see Manny Gamburyan dominate this fight!" ? I didn't think so. Good luck Manvel!

Just hold me until I fall asleep...or until my shoulder pops out of the socket.


FIGHTER WEBSITES!: #1 CONTENDER AT 135 IN THE WEC, BRIAN BOWLES
I decided to start this feature after watching a replay of WEC: Tapia vs. Torres where Brian Bowles cemented his status as the #1 contender to Torres' title. The ceremonial pre-fight banners were draped over the cage before the Bowles/Ribeiro scrap, and low and behold Bowles' website was smack dab in the middle. So I went to his website. It is an abortion of a website.

Hope he didn't pay for this. Like seriously, I hope he did this himself in his free time.


Now I've said before that using web video and social media tools are important if a fighter wants to increase his popularity. I guess I should've also stated that having a decent looking website helps too. In this case, Bowles might be better off utilizing his Myspace page. His "Bio" page is just a list of his fights. His "Media" page just has pictures. Overall, the site is pretty useless. You can do a Google Image search for the pics, or go to Sherdog to see his fight record. My suggestion to Mr. Bowles, if he wins the 135 crown, is to invest in a new website, or beat the crap out of the douchetard that sold you this one. Unless, again, you created it yourself. If that's the case, GREAT JOB!

END OF THE THIRD ROUND
That ends this writing with a nasty headache edition of "The Verbal Submission". Thanks to Sherdog.com, MMAJunkie.com, UFC.com, FiveOuncesofPain.com, CagePotato.com and YouTube.com. I know the column was a little on the light side this week, but it was a fairly slow news week. Once again I'll be returning to the 411 MMA Round Table for my WEC picks this weekend. Hopefully I won't have another Advil resistant headache like I had while writing this column. My brain is collapsing on itself people!!!! (I'm a complainer)

You can find me on Twitter here or on Myspace here. I'll be back next Tuesday to review the WEC show, make loud noises about UFC 96, and securely bunch up my panties for whatever reason I deem fit.

Kick. Punch. It's all in the mind.

-CPR