Forrest Griffin’s Book Be Ready When the Sh*t Goes Down Comes Out August 3rd
Posted by Larry Csonka on 07.30.2010
Description included…
- On August 3rd, Forrest Griffin's second bookBe Ready When the Sh*t Goes Down: A Survival Guide to the Apocalypse will be released. Here is the promotional blurb from the publisher…
Do you really need to buy this book? You gotta ask yourself one question: Are you going to be ready when the sh*t goes down? Here is a quick checklist:
1. Have you dug up your wife's rose garden and built a fallout shelter, equipped with a prison where you can lock up annoying family members?
2. Have you mapped out an escape route to your safe zone?
3. Is there a vehicle of death sitting in your garage?
4. Have you filled your go bag with all the needed instruments, including waterproof matches, postapocalyptic goggles, and at least one sexual party favor?
5. Have you learned how to milk various types of animals, including a giraffe?
As you can see, you need this book more than you even know. Without it, you're roadkill. Lucky for you, Forrest Griffin is the perfect apocalyptic chaperon. When he was in the womb, his mother had visions that the world would soon crumble, and Forrest would be the messiah of all mankind. He learned of these "visions" at the age of ten, and although they led him to believe that his mom had just been watching Mad Max and eating bad Mexican food, nevertheless he began his postapocalyptic training—a part of which involved his becoming a proud member of the Webelos, which is just one step below Boy Scout. And you know what the Boy Scout motto is. (Well, I hope you do, because Forrest doesn't have a clue). Another part involved hoarding ketchup packets, which he sucked down in the darkness of his room while listening to Nine Inch Nails. Hey, don't judge ... hoarders are survivors. Just look at squirrels, they have been around longer than sharks.
If you want to survive the end of the world, and then avoid ending up in a government holding pen suffering from a bunch of diseases and listening to crying babies, you've got some skills to master. But don't worry—Forrest has you covered. From spotting the signs of the global downfall, to alienating your loved ones now so they don't come looking for you after, to hot-wiring a car to starting a religion in your own image, he provides you with all the hot knowledge you need to survive the downfall of civilization. Simply put, this is the most important book about the apocalypse that you will ever read by a UFC fighter from Georgia.
- Here is a listing of Forrest Griffin's book signings…
Aug. 3 (7PM Local Time)
Book Revue
313 New York Ave.
Huntington, N.Y.
Aug. 4 (12PM Local Time)
Borders
100 Broadway
New York, N.Y.
Aug. 4 (7PM Local Time)
Barnes & Noble
232 E. Ridgewood Ave.
Ridgewood, N.J.
Aug. 5 (7PM Local Time)
Barnes & Noble
301 Main St.
Exton, Pa.
Aug. 6 (7PM Local Time)
Barnes & Noble
2200 Eastridge Loop
San Jose, Calif.
Aug. 7 (12PM Local Time)
Barnes & Noble
5604 Bay St.
Emeryville, Calif.
Aug. 9 (7PM Local Time)
Borders
1072 Camino Del Rio North
San Diego, Calif.
Aug. 10 (7PM Local Time)
Borders
3700 Torrance Blvd.
Torrance, Calif.
Aug. 11 (7PM Local Time)
Borders
6521 Las Vegas Blvd. South
Las Vegas, Nev.
Does it have a section on how to survive Anderson Silva???? Oh wait a minute...
Posted By: Guest#4021 (Guest) on July 30, 2010 at 11:27 AM
Dude, I've been needing a new book to read....I have found it.
Posted By: Guest#2025 (Guest) on July 30, 2010 at 11:50 AM
Gotta love that cover.
Posted By: AG Awesome (Guest) on July 30, 2010 at 01:13 PM
So Forrest was preparing for the least likely circumstances while he wasn't preparing for the embarassment that everyone knew would be handed to him by Anderson Silva.
Posted By: Guest#2046 (Guest) on July 30, 2010 at 01:28 PM
uhhh...ok
Posted By: ha (Guest) on July 30, 2010 at 01:59 PM
Um...what?
Posted By: jarule (Guest) on July 30, 2010 at 06:10 PM
"Dude, I've been needing a new book to read....I have found it."
Great Expectations is better.
Posted By: Guest#7985 (Guest) on July 30, 2010 at 11:03 PM
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