The Tool Review 09.05.08: The Ultimate Fighter Season 1 (Disc 1)

Posted by Adam Tool on 09.05.2008

See where it all began as the UFC enters the world of reality television and changes the sport forever. The guys enter the house, teams are picked, challenges are taken on, and fighters compete to see who will advance and become the first ever “Ultimate Fighter!”

Welcome to the very beginning of my newest venture here at 411mania. I will be reviewing every episode of every season of “The Ultimate Fighter.” It all starts here:

THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER: SEASON 1 (DISC 1)

Episode One - “The Quest Begins”

A rock riff montage sets the stage in Las Vegas, followed by shots of the gym. The fighters enter and walk around to check out the facilities and talk about how nice it is. Cut to our host, Willa Ford, who addresses the fighters. Hey, that guy looks suspiciously like the current light heavyweight champion. There’s also some guy who looks like the fat kid from Bad Santa. Ford introduces UFC President Dana White, who looks a little weird wearing a suit and with his head at only 91% baldness. White shows a video package about the two coaches, UFC light heavyweight champion Randy Couture and current #1 contender Chuck Liddell. The coaches enter the gym and the fighters give them a round of applause. White says that the coaches will spend the next three days watching and evaluating the fighters for their teams. There are sixteen fighters, eight middleweights and eight light heavyweights.

In a moment that seems strange in retrospect, White tells the fighters to look around the gym at the faces of the guys that are legends in this sport. Four of the five fighters shown (Couture, Ortiz, Belfort, and Arlovski) are no longer with the UFC.

As is a standard with any reality show, the guys get into the house and talk about how nice it is. Chris Leben immediately finds the liquor cabinet. Forrest Griffin calls Leben “a character” and some of the other fighters talk a bit about him. Cut to Diego Sanchez doing his yoga, saying that he’s not here to drink and party. Cut to later as Leben calls everyone else in the house “boring.” Leben drinks more and tries to give everybody nicknames. Jason Thacker gets a majority of the teasing because he’s Canadian (and apparently smells pretty bad), and Leben gives him the nickname “Strange Brew.” Josh Koscheck talks about how he doesn’t really like Leben and he wants to fight him. It’s 2 am and Leben is still awake and annoying his new housemates. Leben tries to steal Kenny Florian’s green pillow (while he‘s using it), then decides to steal everybody’s pillow. Diego gets his back and laughs it off.

Leben asks if Thacker is going to take a shower, and while he’s in the shower Chris Leben pees on his pillow. A class act all the way, that kid. Thacker goes to sleep, blissfully unaware.

Couture and Liddell show up at the house at 5 am telling everybody to get up because it’s time to train. They take the vans to the gym and Couture introduces the light heavyweights to the trainers. Each fighter will go through four stations in the gym, focusing on grappling, Muay Thai, boxing, and conditioning. Dana says the workouts are three hours long, twice a day. He says the workouts will be brutal but if guys can’t make it through those they’ll never make it into the UFC. Forrest impresses the trainer on the grappling station. Thacker has some trouble on the treadmill. Chuck and Randy send the guys home and they all talk about how sore they are. Thacker gets a leg cramp getting out of the van and admits he wasn’t prepared enough before coming here.

Time for the middleweights to train now, and once again they’ll be moving around to the different stations. Nate Quarry talks about the learning opportunity they all have here. Josh Rafferty has trouble on the treadmill and has to throw up in a bucket. He then pukes while training in the octagon. Thanks for showing me that, SpikeTV! White points out that both coaches are watching the treadmill sessions very closely. Leben has trouble in training and says that maybe his strategy of getting everybody drunk last night backfired on him. When they get home the guys turn the bath tub into an ice bath and take turns hopping in.

The next day in the gym Willa calls everybody over and explains how the show will work. The next day Chuck and Randy will pick teams and then each week the teams will go head to head. The loser is eliminated. The fighters continue training and Chuck takes NOTES~! Nate Quarry gets a small cut on his chin during training and he’ll have to get a few stitches. Mike Swick trains with Thacker and Swick talks about how Thacker isn’t really cutting it at this point. After training ends Thacker tells Couture that he doesn’t think he’s going to be able to make it and Randy tells him to stick it out.

Quarry comes back to the house after getting seven stitches and talks about how tomorrow they’ll be sparring together for the first time. Everyone starts sizing each other up and Thacker gets a big target on his back. Leben says he likes Thacker but the guy sucks shit as a fighter.

The next morning Thacker doesn’t have his gear and is saying that he’s not going to the gym with the other fighters. Bobby Southworth gives him an inspirational peptalk and Thacker eventually makes it to the van. And the bullseye gets bigger…

MONTAGE~! time as the guys spar in the gym. We see Leben spar with Koscheck and Leben gives an interview where he says nothing nice about the guy. Griffin spars with Swick and Griffin is surprised that Swick was able to take him down two times. Randy has to tell Griffin to pull it back a little, and then he tells Chuck to keep an eye on Forrest because he’s been “on” all day. During sparring Griffin accidentally head butts Stephan Bonnar and Bonnar has a big cut above his left eyebrow.

Chuck and Randy look at pictures of the cast and talk (through the magic of voiceover) about what they’re looking for in a fighter. Everyone gets together in the gym and Willa says it’s time to pick teams. A flip of the coin gives Chuck the first pick and he takes Southworth. Couture takes Quarry for his #1. Chuck takes Koscheck and Randy takes Leben. Sanchez goes to Liddell and Bonnar goes to Couture. Chuck picks Sam Hoger next and Randy takes Swick. Chuck gets Forrest and Randy gets Lodune Sincaid. Florian goes to Liddell and Alex Karalexis goes to Couture. Chuck picks Alex Schoenauer while Randy picks Chris Sanford. Chuck gets Josh Rafferty and we hear Rafferty in a voice over saying that he was picked second to last and he’s going to think about that every morning when he goes to the gym. Finally, that leaves Jason Thacker to go to Randy.

Willa wishes everybody good luck and Thacker gets the last word as he says he “thinks he’s gonna go through with this” and not quit anymore.

Oh yeah. That guy’s gonna make it.

Episode Two - “Team Challenges”

Dana explains the show for anyone that missed the first episode. The guys are all standing around in the kitchen working out the food situation while voiceovers from several cast members talk about the difficulties of living in the house with 15 other fighters. Diego takes some of the best food to make a protein shake and Forrest is NOT AMUSED.

Couture says he picked his team because he wants fighters with character and guys that will gel as a team. Couture and his team train, with highlights of Chris Leben and Mike Swick. Randy says that Chris Sanford is a pretty good fighter that showed up in terrible shape. Thacker flaunts his confidence and says that he’s in “sink or swim” mode.

Chuck and his team take their time in the gym and Liddell says that he tries to train guys to their strength while Randy will train to his. Chuck talks positively about Koscheck, Florian, and Forrest.

Back at the house Bonnar gets into a confrontation with Sanchez about asparagus. Diego tells Stephan to, “Shut up,” and says, “I ain’t listening to you.” Sanchez says that they may be in two different weight classes but he’d still kick Bonnar’s ass.

The teams get in the vans and head off to their first team challenge. They meet up with Willa Ford (remember, the host of this thing?) near a lake. Here’s how the challenge works:

1. Two recliners are set up on carrier platforms and each team has to carry one member through an obstacle course.
2. The obstacle course consists of several hurdles of various heights.
3. After passing the hurdles the teams have to carry their guy into the lake and circle a buoy.
4. First team to make it back on land and cross the finish line wins.
5. The losing team’s coach has 24 hours to decide which team member will be eliminated.

Huh? You’re going to get professional fighters together on a show like this and have them do Survivor-lite obstacle courses to determine who goes home? WTF?

To ensure fairness the light heavyweights will be the only ones participating. The coaches will be the guys sitting in the armchairs.

We’re off! Team Liddell gets out to an early lead. They maintain that lead and are the first ones to make it to the water. Team Couture drops their platform a few times and Team Liddell crosses the finish line pretty easily. Willa tells Team Couture that one of them will be going home in 24 hours. Jason Thacker just happens to be standing right next to Randy as they’re told this.

LATER THAT NIGHT, Leben and Swick sit around the table with some of the other guys and talk about their previous fight against one another in the WEC. We even get highlights as Leben knocked out Swick. Swick says he’ll do anything to get that rematch.

Lodune Sincaid walks around in his underwear and pretends (?) to be gay in front of the other guys. Lodune gives an interview where he says it’s all part of his mental strategy. The four light heavyweights on Team Couture sit around and wonder who’s going to be heading home. The next day they all pack their bags and speculate on what Randy will do. Like they don’t already know. C’MON!

Willa brings the light heavyweights from both teams in and it’s time for Randy’s decision. He names off each fighter that will be staying, starting with Stephan Bonnar and followed by Mike Swick. It’s down to Dead Meat Thacker and Sincaid. Willa gives them the chance to say something and Thacker says he’s working hard to get better. Sincaid just says he wants an opportunity to show what he’s made of.

Randy addresses both guys and says Sincaid will stay. Yes, Jason Thacker is going home. You can’t see my face right now but the surprise is definitely there.

Thacker hugs the other guys and cries. See ya!

Back at the house, Leben has nothing nice to say about Thacker. He says that the guy didn’t belong there and there’s no reason to feel sorry for him. Leben sits around with a forty while Diego drinks wine and poses for the other guys. Swick says it’s hard to be on the same team with the guy that gave him his only loss. Swick and Leben get into a mild verbal confrontation and Swick has to be led away by Nate Quarry. Leben says he’s not a pussy and he’ll fight anybody at anytime.

Leben stands in a corner with Sincaid and hatches a plan to escape from the house. He goes out to the fence and some of the other fighters talk about him breaking the rules. Southworth and Sincaid get into a little altercation. Sincaid decides to quit drinking, and he pours out a forty in honor of Jason “Strange Brew” Thacker.

The next morning at training Sanford and Quarry talk to Randy about how Leben is messing things up at the house. Randy addresses the guys and tells Leben, “that shit isn’t gonna fly.” Leben tries to defend himself and says he won’t drink or talk shit for the rest of the show. Sincaid also speaks up and tells Randy that he’s been causing some trouble as well, and he says he had a moment of clarity about turning things around.

The next days the guys meet up with Willa in the desert for the middleweight challenge. Here’s what they’re in for:

1. Each team has to carry a large wooden pole up to a designated point.
2. At that point they’ll grab saws and each member will have to saw the pole into several pieces.
3. Once the pole is cut the team will have to carry all the pieces to another point. There they will put the pole back together.
4. They will then carry the entire pole across the finish line. Once again the losing team’s coach will have 24 hours to decide which team member to cut.

Both teams are neck and neck at the start. They make it to the sawing point and each man takes his saw and starts…sawing. Koscheck is the first one done and he takes over for another member of his team (I think it was Florian). The Liddell guys are done and carrying their pieces to the reassembly point. Team Couture finally gets their pole apart and head to the next station. Team Liddell is the first one to bolt their pieces together and make it across the finish line.

BACK AT THE HOUSE the Team Couture middleweights speculate on who will be going home. Leben says he’ll have to step up and show Randy something special if he wants to stay in the house. Quarry and Sanford both think Leben will be the one going home. Koscheck mocks Leben in front of Team Couture member Alex Karalexis.

Everyone meets in the gym for the next elimination. Like before, Randy addresses the guys that will be staying, starting with Nate Quarry. Alex Karalexis is second to keep his spot, leaving Sanford and Leben. Willa gives the final two guys a chance to speak. Sanford uses his time to run down Leben, while Leben admits to misbehaving in the past. He says he knows he’ll be in the UFC no matter what.

Randy addresses the two Chrises. Randy admits that Leben is the better fighter and chooses him to stay. Sanford admits he should’ve come into the show in better shape.

Willa says this is the end of the coaches’ eliminations and from here on out each man will have to fight to stay in the house. Thank God.

Episode Three - “Making Weight”

Both coaches meet with Dana and the fighter’s weight issues are addressed. Dana voices my own opinions and says he’s ready to see these guys start fighting. White says that the light heavyweights will be fighting first and the coaches need to start getting on them to make weight. Dana specifically points out several guys on Liddell’s team and Chuck says they’ll make weight.

Couture says that his guys are fired up to start fighting. Quarry says that they didn’t come here to lift logs and carry guys around in armchairs. Sincaid says that the light heavyweights on Team Couture are smaller than Liddell’s guys. Chuck says he’s got the only two actual light heavyweights in the competition, and he talks specifically about Sam Hoger and Bobby Southworth. Forrest says that making weight is the worst part of fighting.

Back at the house, the middleweights sit around eating whatever they want while the light heavyweight guys are all on a diet. In a bit of cruelty, there are pies and cakes placed all around the house.

Several of the fighters sit around and complain about fighting for free. Alex Karalexis talks about the possibility of injury and how that can affect a fighter’s income.

All the guys are called to the gym at night and Dana walks in, looking like someone just shit in his cereal. He calls the guys in for a chat and says he’s not happy. Dana says he’s heard some of the guys here don’t want to fight and that’s pissing him off. He asks if anybody came here not knowing that they were going to have to fight. Southworth says that some of them didn’t think they were going to have to fight until the finals. Dana gives the “Do you wanna be a fucking fighter?” speech. This is the moment the legacy of Dana White truly begins. Obviously he’d done some big things for the sport long before this, but the persona that he now occupies today was born right here.

The fighters are in the vans and heading back to the desert for another godforsaken elimination challenge. Willa tells them that this week they’ll be competing individually. This will be light heavyweight only. Here we go:

1. Each fighter will be sitting in a kayak, and dragging themselves along the desert with a rope.
2. When they get to the end of the rope there are two large buckets.
3. They will then have to pick up ten ten-pound weights and place them in the bucket.
4. Once the buckets are filled they will carry them across the finish line.
4. The winner will be safe from elimination while the loser will pick his opponent to meet in the octagon.

They’re off and Mike Swick gets to an early lead. Bobby Southworth is the last one to make it to the buckets. Alex Schoenauer of Team Liddell wins. Swick says that Alex hasn’t moved like that since he got there and that shows Swick that he (Alex) didn’t want to fight. Sincaid comes in second to last and Southworth eventually makes it (after stopping along the way a few times). Liddell tells him to get ready to start cutting tonight. Southworth gives Chuck some words and Chuck bitches about him to Dana. Dana questions Southworth’s heart. Willa says that Team Liddell has until 6 pm to choose their opponent.

Team Liddell meets up and talks about who will face Bobby. Chuck says he wants Bobby to take out one of their stronger guys but it could be a risk. Team Couture also discusses it and they think Bonnar may be called out because he’s already got a cut from training.

Dana meets with the guys in the house. Team Liddell announce that Lodune Sincaid will be the one fighting Southworth. Dana tells the guys the weigh-ins are tomorrow, and Sincaid is already at weight.

Koscheck helps Bobby cut the weight and explains the process a bit. Southworth tries to get out of the sauna and Chuck has to hold the door closed on him. We even get a convenient clock in the corner showing how much time is left until the weigh-ins. Back at the house Sincaid amuses the guys in the house with more of his pseudo-gay sense of humor. Southworth crawls out of the sauna and Kos tells him to get up.

The next morning Chuck works out with Bobby as the deadline draws closer. Bobby’s still four pounds over when time is nearly up. If he’s over at the weigh-ins he’ll have two more hours to try and make weight. Instead he’s lying around on the ground and asking Dana if it’s okay if he’s over. Dude, did you not hear a word of that f-bomb laden speech Dana gave you guys the other day?

Dana updates Sincaid and Couture on the situation, saying that they can either agree to let him be over or he can have two more hours to cut. Randy and Lodune discuss the matter and they agree that Southworth is going to have to cut.

WEIGH-INS~! Sincaid is at 202 ½. Southworth is 3 pounds over. Dana gives him the choice to cut the weight or quit right now. Bobby agrees to cut. Once again Koscheck and Liddell are there to keep on him. Chuck puts Bobby in there and sits in front of the door to keep him in. 23 minutes left and Koscheck is literally dragging Southworth back into the sauna. Dana explains that in Nevada they give you a pound over the limit. They make it to the final weigh-in and Bobby comes in at 206. Southworth gets busy re-hydrating.

Southworth says that Sincaid didn’t think he would make weight so he (Lodune) could get an easy bye. The two guys have some tension in the house. Each guy talks about why they want to win and what it means to them.

FIGHT DAY~! Each guy gets ready and Dana tells them both that if they win by stoppage or submission they’ll get $5000.

ELIMINATION FIGHT: LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHTS - Lodune Sincaid (16-3) vs. Bobby Southworth (8-3)

Dana explains that the fight will be two five minute rounds, and if at the end of the fight the judges have it as a draw they will go to sudden victory. “Big” John McCarthy is our referee.

Round 1

Lodune lands an early leg kick and Southworth tags him with a right. Southworth tags him with a left hook and Sincaid drops down for a takedown. Southworth sprawls out and reverses, getting Sincaid down and landing in side control. Southworth lands a few punches and Sincaid gives up his back. Southworth gets a few punches before Sincaid powers up. Southworth keeps a hold of him and tries to drag him back down but Sincaid grabs the fence to avoid the takedown. They stay tied up against the cage with each man throwing a few shots. Sincaid starts to get the better of it and Southworth can’t trip him down. Southworth tries to circle out but Sincaid pushes him back against the cage. Southworth escapes and lands a knee inside followed by a big overhand right. Sincaid hits him with a kick to the body and they circle. Sincaid drops down for a weak shot but Southworth slips and Sincaid tags him with a kick to the head. McCarthy steps in to warn Sincaid about kicking a downed opponent and they restart. Sincaid lands the leg kick and Southworth hits him with a jab. Sincaid presses forward but Southworth starts to unload on him. Sincaid circles out and they move back to the center. Sincaid fakes the superman punch and ties up with him against the cage. Southworth reverses and presses Sincaid against the cage. He throws a few shoulder shrugs and they split apart. Back in the center Southworth lands a left jab and Sincaid tags him with an inside leg kick right as the round ends.

Round 2

Southworth lands a left jab followed by a nice left right combination. Southworth throws a NASTY right hook and Sincaid goes down. McCarthy stops it before Southworth can hit him again.

Winner: Bobby Southworth, KO (punch), round 2, :13

The coaches and Dana recap the fight. Lodune says goodbye to everybody and walks his ass on out.

Episode Four - “On The Ropes”

Sam Hoger of Team Liddell says that while it’s good to be on the winning team, they are now going to have to send a member over to Team Couture so the teams can be balanced. Chuck has to give up one of his light heavyweights and he gives a short speech saying that he didn’t want to lose any of them. Chuck sends Alex Schoenauer to go to Team Couture, saying that Randy can help Alex with his wrestling. Florian says that he understands why Alex got sent over because he was the weakest guy on the team.

The NEW Team Couture starts their training and Alex says that this is a good thing and he’s looking forward to training with Randy. Alex says that he always wanted to learn takedowns so he’s excited about that. He says he’ll miss some of the guys from his team but he’ll still see all of them at the house.

Florian says that tomorrow is the middleweight elimination challenge to determine who will fight next. Alex Karalexis says that coming in last is the most important so that you can pick your fight. Chris Leben says that he plans to throw the challenge so he can fight Josh Koscheck. Leben drinks beer and trash talks with Kos.

VEGAS MONTAGE~! and it’s challenge time. Vans. Desert. You know the drill by now. Leben says everybody will be surprised when the challenge starts and he doesn’t move. Willa explains the challenge:

1. Each guy starts with a 15 lbs. medicine ball.
2. They’ll throw the medicine ball at several wooden boards standing in the desert. They have to knock down each board, but they only get one ball and will have to go back and forth to retrieve it.
3. In the next stage they have to throw the balls over short walls.
4. For the final leg they have to blah blah blah pushing the medicine balls and cross a finish line.

Willa says that only two guys from each team will be competing and the first two guys from the same team to cross the finish line will be the winners. The winners get to decide who fights. Leben says that they threw a twist at him and now they have to win. Liddell picks Sanchez and Koscheck while Couture picks Karalexis and Quarry, deciding to save Leben so he can fight.

The guys chuck their balls. Koscheck finishes first and moves on to the next stage. Quarry is the next guy to move on but Kos is way out in front. Diego finishes next and Karalexis finishes soon after. Koscheck finishes the race first, and Quarry crosses the line shortly afterwards. Diego beats Karalexis to the end and Team Liddell wins the challenge. Leben calls out Koscheck after the challenge. Koscheck says he’s sick of Leben and he’ll shut him up.

Team Liddell meets up and decides who will fight whom. They decide to let Diego and Koscheck have first say and Sanchez says that if Kos wants Leben he can have him. Sanchez says that otherwise he’d be willing to fight Alex Karalexis because Alex is talking shit at the house. Team Couture sits around the house and SPECULATES~! Koscheck says he’d like to get rid of Leben but it would be a tough fight.

Dana meets with the two teams at the house and Chuck announces that Diego and Alex will be fighting. In an interview Sanchez says that he’s tired of Alex and the way Karalexis uses the f-word every other word. Diego stands up and give Alex a little speech in front of everybody and it’s really kind of stupid. Alex says that’s the first complete sentence Diego has put together in the show. Diego says he’s tired of Alex’s potty mouth. Yes, he actually said potty mouth. White tells the guys that they’ll win $5K if the fight ends in a stoppage or submission.

Leben and Koscheck talk some shit in the kitchen. Quarry gives Karalexis a pep talk and Alex says he’s not surprised they picked him since he’s the least experienced guy on the team. Diego says that he was always an aggressive kid and he came from a neighborhood with a lot of gang activity. He talks about his pregnant girlfriend and says he needs this win to put food on the table for his baby. Alex says that he’s Greek, Irish and Italian, so fighting is in his blood. Alex shaves his hairy-ass arms and legs and says that’s part of his pre-fight strategy so he can avoid submissions. Lemme know how that works out for ya.

Training the next day, and Dana says that Diego is clearly the favorite in this fight. He says Diego has a lot more experience and much better submissions, but Alex has knockout power. Team Liddell trains and Chuck talks up Sanchez, saying that he wants to help Diego with his striking. Diego says that he’s had a problem with one of his hips for a while but he’s never had insurance to get it looked at. Team Couture trains and Randy works with Alex on his sprawl. Alex says that he was already a wrestler but working with Randy is making him that much stronger.

Diego goes to the doctor to have his hip looked at. Diego says he may have to have surgery at some point but for right now he’ll have to work through the pain. He says that once he gets in the cage he, “won’t feel nuthin.”

WEIGH-INS~! Dana explains the weight limits for the middleweight division. Alex comes in at 185 while Diego weighs 183. Both guys say what they think will happen and talk up the fight. Diego: “After tomorrow he’s gonna go have to go back to pre-school, and I’m the teacher.”

Before the fight the guys at the house give their predictions. Diego and Alex give their predictions and Alex says he’s gonna “knock this fucking kid out.” Good luck with that.

ELIMINATION FIGHT: MIDDLEWEIGHTS - Diego Sanchez (12-0) vs. Alex Karalexis (4-0)

Dana says the fight will be two rounds and John McCarthy will be the referee.

Round 1

They circle to start and Alex throws a quick combination. Diego ducks that and shoots in for a takedown. Diego lands on top in the half guard but Alex does a nice job keeping his leg locked. Diego drops an elbow to the head and Alex tries to explode out. Diego keeps on top of him and gets the full mount. Alex gives up his back and Diego gets the hooks in. Alex tries to stand but Diego presses him back down. Diego throws a few punches and Alex rolls but Diego starts to lock up a choke. He gets it tight and Alex taps.

Winner: Diego Sanchez, submission (rear naked choke), round 1, 1:48

Diego says he wanted to finish the fight and make it fast so he can make a statement. Randy talks to Karalexis. They hug and it’s adios Alex.

For those of you keeping track Team Liddell is now 2-0 in elimination fights, and 4-0 in challenges.

The 411: This is just the first of four discs in the set, so I’ll be holding back on my score until the whole thing is done. Come back next week for more drama in the house and more fighting in the octagon as I cover disc two.

Final Score:  0.0   [ Torture ]