411’s TNA Impact Report 3.01.07
Posted by Larry Csonka on 03.01.2007
Getting a Dodger Dog with Christian sounds pretty cool actually.
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TNA Impact Begins…NOW!
-Cage and Tomko join JB backstage. Joe demanded a match with Tomko. Cage says Joe isn't smart enough to realize he made a mistake. Cage says this is like old times, while Tomko doesn't look impressed. Cage says they can catch a ballgame and have some Dodger Dogs. Tomko says this isn't about the team since he will be alone. Tomko says he wants to know how this will help him. Cage says if he beats Joe and takes him out, he will give Tomko the shot at the title. They shake and he promises to get the job done. Cage then says he is dense as he walks away.
-We get a video recap of last week's show, with clips of Angle getting stitched up weaved into it. Pretty cool actually.
-Tenay and West welcome us to the show. Apparently we are in for a "6-Man X-Division Classic." Isn't a bit cheesy to announce a match as a classic that way? I hope it gets more than 2-minutes.
-30-minutes before the show, Angle and Steiner brawled through the crowd as Angle was seeking revenge.
-Tenay and West hype the rest of the show.
-In Cornette's office, Cornette yells at Angle for jumping Steiner. Cornette says If he can't control himself he'll have to go. Angle grabs Cornette and Cornette goes off and says not to ruin his show. Angle says he will do what he has to do and Cornette can do what he has to do.
Senshi, Jerry Lynn & Jay Lethal vs. Chris Sabin, Alex Shelley & THE Austin Starr
Alex drops off a DVD to Tenay, which I bet we'll see later. The heels pep talk each other as Dutt and Nash come to the ring. He wants Jay to do his Macho impression. The crowd chants for him to do it and he does. The heels attack after what was a rather pointless deal. Senshi and JL gets dropkicks and clear out Sabin and Starr. Senshi tosses Sabin now, and we get a triple dive spot onto the heels. MR. BOB BACKLUND is out to watch the match as we head to commercial @ 0:50. Yeah, not even a minute in.
Back from commercial @ 4:23 as Starr gets a nasty dropkick on Jay and covers for 2. Backlund joins commentary as Starr works over Jay and covers for 2 again. Tag to Sabin and he works over Jay with jabs. Alex in and a sweet double team series on Jay, and Alex goes for a Jericho like pin for 2. Backlund is crazy on commentary and they spend more time on him than the match as Alex covers for 2 after a move I would guess. Tag back to Sabin and a double whip, Jay avoids and fights them both off and Alex sentons Sabin. Tag to Senshi and Starr in, CHOPS to Starr. Rights by JL, forearm by Senshi and a side kick to Alex. Stiff kicks to Starr, Sabin in and tries the shock and gets it. JL in with a dropkick and he gets the TKO on Sabin. Cradle piledriver try, stopped and Alex gets he sliced bread #2. Jay in and a flatliner to Alex. Starr in, STAR BUSTER on Jay. Backlund attends to Senshi and then he grabs Starr. Senshi in, rolls up Starr and that is all.
Winners: Senshi, Jerry Lynn & Jay Lethal @ 8:20 (About 5:00 shown) via pin
-After the match Backlund tries to attack Starr and he runs. Backlund wants to shake, but Senshi leaves.
-A Day in the life of Eric Young runs. He is a slave for Roode and Brooks. Roode has a big list of chores for him like vacuuming and washing the car. Eric then says his friend says he doesn't have to do this, and they show him the contract. They own him.
-Tenay hypes the Text vote for who will take the fall in the Elevation X Match. SPOILER…AJ will.
-We get a video package for Elevation X. Rhino says it will be AJ's demise. Hey Rhino, goring A off of that might not be the best of ideas.
-We get a video package of Sting hyping the Last Rites Match with Abyss. He says Abyss will die, but can be reborn. Not if James Cameron finds his tomb…SCANDAL!
-JB tries to talk to Abyss again. He is stupid. Abyss looks at a picture of Mitchell. He then attacks a random backstage guy.
Scott Steiner vs. Chase Stevens
Angle is here to attack Steiner. They brawl at ringside and the X-Division goofs hit the ring to try and break it up. Cornette is out and tries to calm down Angle, which fails. They drag Angle away, Senshi should have kicked him in the head.
Steiner attacks Chase now. Sets him up top, HUGE belly to belly. That's all. JIZZOB~!.
Winner: Scott Steiner @ 0:30 via pin
-Steiner has a mic now. He left Angle in a pool of blood, he embarrassed him and made a fool of him in front of all the rednecks. Most importantly, he embarrassed him in front of him family. When Angle went home, his wife told Steiner he was only half the man he used to be. On Angle's best day he isn't half the man Steiner is.
-Angle is back and attacks, security and the guys are back to try and separate them which worked so well the first time.
-Cornette says that Angle has lost his mind he must have heard a radio interview. He says Angle cannot do this and Angle attacks Cornette and tries the ankle lock on Cornette! They pull Angle off and Cornette says he is Angle's best friend in TNA and all these guys would cut off his balls for his spot. He knows Angle means big business. The hell with you, security, all of you, get him the hell out of my building! THERE IS A DON HARRIS SIGHTING~!
-Tenay and West discuss how uncontrollable the situation was. During commercial DON Harris and the X-Division guys tell Angle he has to leave.
-Leticia is with Chris Harris, pre-taped, and we get an update. He is at 35%for his vision, and he doesn't know when he can get it back. No one will clear him to wrestle, but Storm better watch his back because he will get a piece of him, he promises.
-Paparazzi Director Alex Shelley makes his way to the ring. Shelley says he has brought us many films, now he brings us "Massacre in New York." We see LAX attacking Devon's trainer Johnny Rodz in his wrestling school. Cide destroys an old pic of Devon as he puts the bad mouth on Rodz. Shelley asks what we think about it. Right now he will bring out the stars…but no, Ray is here and this does not bode well for @lx. Shelley says it was a project as he went to art school. Ray says to shut up right now punk. He insults Shelley and says that film made him sick. Shelley drops the mic and Ray says that Rodz was a father to Devon. Rodz is a legend, who are you Shelley? A nobody. Ray asks why he would do that? He says they have no heat because Ray doesn't know who he is. Shelley says it wasn't his idea. Ray then says he is at a loss for words. Ray says he is a shining star but wants answers. Here comes Nash! Ray says to stay out because they have no business with each other, it is between Ray and Nash's but buddy. LAX Attacks! Ray lays out LAX and @lx low blows Ray and LAX now gets the heat. LAX beat him down as @lx films it all. Konnan gets on the mic and says we will all be speaking Spanish and told LAX to get the tables. Hernandez sets it up and then spine-busts Ray through the table.
-Apparently Ron Killings was injured during the filming of Rambuck. What a shame.
-JB hypes the text poll for the Elevation X match. He then brings in Joe. Joe says Cage knows he will lose the title. Joe's work and sacrifice culminates when he takes that title at Destination X. Tonight he eliminates Tomko, as he will pay for the sins of the father. We see Abyss attacking a guy and Joe stops him. He discusses morality with Abyss, and says he can be a puppet or get over it and listen to Sting. Stand up for yourself. That was…random.
Samoa Joe vs. Tomko
Tomko attacks as Joe enters the ring. Rights to Joe, Irish whip and a clothesline by Tomko and he is in control. Forearms to Joe, who fires back now. Big boot by Tomko and Joe back with a high kick. Clothesline to Joe takes Tomko to the floor. ELBOW SUICIDA FROM JOE~! Cage watches on and is concerned. And here it comes, wait for it, we head to commercial @ 1:16.
Back from commercial @ 4:46 with Tomko in control. Joe fights out, but eats a spine-buster for 2. Neck vice of mild discomfort by Tomko. Joe escapes, back elbow to Tomko and a big boot. 2nd rope leaping knee by Joe gets 2. Jabs by Joe, Tomko back with a right. Off the ropes, snap powerslam by Joe for 2. Irish whip and a reversal… Tomko misses and a high kick by Joe. Sets Tomko up top…Cage is out and nails Joe with a chair as the ref was tied up. Tomko covers and that's all? Wow.
Winner: Tomko @ 6:57 via pin
-Cage bad mouths Joe and Tomko celebrates. Tomko pick sup Joe and Cage tosses the ref. Cage slaps Joe, who fights back and gets the choke on Cage! Steiner is here and he jump sin and betas down on Joe. They triple team him and Cage gets the unprettier on Joe.
-Abyss now comes out an clears the ring of Christian's Coalition. BLACK HOLE SLAM on Joe. Abyss stands tall.
-Closing everything video to end the show.
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