B3yond the Report 05.12.09

Posted by Mark Salmela on 05.12.2009

This week Mark goes in-depth about a curse that’s been plaguing B3yond the Report. Also, news on PS1 titles coming to PSN, Duke Nukem Forever, Qore, Plants vs Zombies, Infamous, Trash Panic, Gunstar Heroes, and more when you go B3yond the Report.




Welcome back to another spectacular edition of everyone's favorite Sony news report. I am your host Mark Salmela, and I hate Gamestop. I'm not going to go on a rant as to why Gamestop sucks *I did that plenty back when the column was called the SIXAXIS Report*, but I probably won't be getting a copy of the Infamous demo until it hits the PSN at the end of the month. I have 2 Gamestop's in the area, I know for a fact they have/had the demo Friday due to a friend, but when I called on Saturday both places told me there was no such thing as an Infamous demo at Gamestop. Yeah, it's not like every god dammed Sony first party title gets a Gamestop exclusive demo/beta.

But I'm not here to bitch. I'm here to entertain. Actually my job is to report all of the Sony news over the past week, but there was nothing, again! I honestly don't know what to say. This has to be the most boring build-up to E3 in history. There are virtually no rumors or speculation as to what we'll see. I still think that this will be a crazy E3 with tons of announcements, but either everyone's doing a tremendous job stopping leaks, or someone's dropping the ball in the grapevine. With that said it's time to sit back, relax, and enjoy this news-deprived edition of B3yond the Report.



Hehehehe Oops….



Going back on its word, it's B3yond the News of the Week~!

3D Realms goes under, Duke Nukem really will have to wait Forever



The main headline of the past week is that after 12 years it's finally over. 3D Realms has finally closed their doors, and Duke Nukem Forever has been put on hiatus. For those unaware Duke Nukem Forever is the planned sequel to Duke Nukem 3D, and will/was going to be a first person shooter. While there have been several Duke Nukem 3rd person action/adventure shooters with platforming elements, Forever was going to be the first to return to first person mode since the highly acclaimed Duke Nukem 3D.

As a big fan of Duke I am saddened. Sure, I don't think anyone expected this game to be amazing. I wasn't expecting a perfect ten. But now days very few shooters manage to separate themselves from the pack. Duke was one of those few. With his take-no-crap attitude and potty-mouth only a mother could love, Duke was one of my favorite video game characters. Duke Nukem 3D on the XBLA is one of my favorite downloads, and I was actually starting to look forward again to Duke Nukem 3D. There has been a lot of leaked gameplay footage over the past year for Duke Nukem Forever, and I for one think it looks pretty cool. Once again I don't think it's a perfect ten, but a great game worth picking up.

All is not lost for Duke Nukem Forever. Take 2 holds the publishing rights for Duke Nukem Forever, and may hand it off to a different team. The reason for the cancelation was because 3D Realms requested another 5 million dollars to finish the project, and Take 2 said no. Some are reporting 3D Realms holds exclusive development rights to Duke Nukem Forever, but that begins a giant legal battle which probably wouldn't go in favor of whatever's left of 3D Realms *in this author's opinion*.

Rumors are going around that an official statement regarding Duke Nukem Forever will be made next week. Who knows, maybe the guy who has had an official preorder at Gamestop since 2001 will get his game after all.


That couldn't be more American!

Credit: Shack News


More PlayStation 1 titles heading to the PSN



I've said it before and I'll say it again. Releasing PS1 titles on the PS3 is free money for anyone smart enough to figure it out. I've honestly blown over $60 on PS1 titles, and I can guarantee it doesn't cost $5.99 to put an iso up of an old PS1 game. Besides, free programs already exist that scrub all of the needless padding material in PS1 games *they were put in to speed up load times off the disc*, so I don't see what could possibly be costing publishers.

It appears as if a light-bulb finally light up over at Capcom, as they're promising to release 20 – 40 PS1 titles on the PSN this year. Their first title already went up in Street Fighter Alpha, and the ESRB has already approved titles such as Street Fighter Alpha 2 and 3 to go up on the PSN. I don't think I need to tell you guys all of Capcom's classic PS1 titles, so here's hoping they arrive for download on the PSN sooner rather than later. Come on Capcom, I want to give you free money for classics like Resident Evil.

Thankfully both Sony and Konami have been supporting the PS1 classics, although both companies could do a whole lot more. Sony has already gotten Spyro 2 and 3 approved for download, and Konami has been working on getting some of its RPGs like Suikoden up for download. I don't care what price MGS1 comes out at, I will pay $20 if I have to if it means downloading the original MGS on PSN.

I know I'm cutting into the PlayStation Store update but I will note here that Spyro 2, R-Type Delta, and Bowling for the PS1 went up for download this past week. Spyro 2 was originally put up in 2007 on the PSN but was taken off due to a bug that prevented the player from progressing past the second or so level. R-Type Delta is more of the same R-Type, and Bowling is an abortion. But the key thing to note here is that at least Sony is putting up more titles. Hopefully we'll see a lot more coming over the next week. Titles such as Wipeout XL have been approved and are waiting to go up.


Please?

Credit: Joystiq


PlayStation Store Update for the week of May 7



This week's PSN update revolved around three things. PS1 titles, Qore, and Puzzle Quest Galactrix. I already discussed the three PS1 titles Bowling, R-Type Delta, and Spyro 2 above, so I'm not going to discuss them again. Puzzle Quest Galactrix is the sequel to the original Puzzle Quest, and retails for $20. That right there is my problem. It's $20 for a puzzle game. Sure it's changed up the formula quite a bit from the original, but I just don't have $20 to devote to a puzzle game I consider to be mediocre. I may be mistaken but I swear the original Puzzle Quest was only $15 on the PSN and it had all of the expansion packs from the XBLA version in it.

The other main feature of this week was Qore, episode 12. I've already discussed in the past my issues with Qore. Qore is an online magazine exclusive to the PSN that costs money. Now originally I was OK with this since Qore had exclusive Beta's nearly every month that we would have never gotten into if it wasn't for Qore. Well those days are pretty much over. Sure Qore annual subscribers are getting into the Uncharted 2 Beta, but most people will get into that by buying Infamous anyways. It's not exclusive to Qore.

But I'm not done bitching at Qore yet. Yours truly is an annual subscriber to Qore. $25 a year. Now there have been two free issues to Qore. OK that's fine, it's a promotional thing to increase awareness. I get it. But I better get 2 free issues to make up for it. Well guess what, annual subscribers are only getting one extra issue to make up for it, and not two. It's not a huge deal, but I'm still getting screwed out of a free issue, that normally retails for $3. Why are you punishing people like me who chose the annual subscription on day one? Another thing that pisses me off are the free games. Why are you choosing the free games for me? I already have Velocity Bowling and Calling all Cars. I had those two games long before Qore was ever announced. Why can't I just choose 2 free games for the value that those two cost? It's just frustrating.

The only reason I look forward to Qore is because the host lady is seriously getting hotter every episode. I don't know how the hell she does it. Every episode she's a little hotter. I don't want to be sexist but I would pay money just to know how she does it.

Credit: Sony


Plants vs Zombies = awesome!



The last piece of news that I want to discuss is Popcap's latest game, Plants vs Zombies. PVZ is a game that I thought was actually an April Fool's Day joke since the actual trailer went up on April Fool's Day, but the game is actually real. PVZ is a tower defense game that consists of you placing plants to fight off waves of zombies. The game is absolutely enormous. There are over 40 types of plants that you'll obtain throughout the game and well over 25 different types of zombies that you'll encounter. There are tons of mini-games and other elements that'll change up the gameplay such as pools of water and fighting at night.

I've been absolutely addicted to Plants vs Zombies and have finally completed the 60ish levels in the game. I love it and hope that there will eventually be a PSN/XBLA release for everyone to try out. The game has so much content that it's actually worth its twenty dollar price tag. I don't want to pass judgment yet, but it's the most fun I've had in a tower defense game since Pixel Junk Monsters. Oh, and the last boss is absolutely epic. Boss fights can make or break a game for me and PVZ is an absolute winner.

There is a free demo for both Mac and PC, go here to check it out.

Credit: Me bitches



B3yond the Tabloids!

As a follow up to last week, Gunstar Heroes will be coming to the XBLA and PSN. The game will reportedly be getting an HD remix, but Sega didn't say if they were actually remaking the game in HD or giving the game their usual muddy HD Remix that looks terrible. Sega will also be putting up several new games on the XBLA that were included in Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection such as Sonic 3, but as I just said they will be XBLA exclusives. On a side note: Why won't Sega make a Sonic the Hedgehog 4 as a downloading title on PSN and XBLA?

A new puzzle game by the creator of Mr. Driller will be hitting the PSP and PSN later this year. Known in Japan as Qruton *weird spelling*, the game will be known in English as Numblast. The game features a grid with a bunch of blocks labeled 1 -4 where users much switch around the blocks to align numbers in order to make them explode.

Virtua Tennis 2009 has been delayed until June. The delay applies to every version of the game, even though it's the Wii version that reportedly is being touched up.

Activision has announced Guitar Hero: Van Halen. I think I've found a worse idea than Lego Rock Band.

Eidos has announced that they are working on a new Hitman game. Personally I've never really gotten into the Hitman games, but I have a lot of friends who do like them.

A new Star Wars game has been announced. The Clone Wars: Republic Heroes has been announced for all platforms, and will be based off the cartoon show. That last part just killed it for me. Look for the game to ship in September.



B3yond the Cinema!



Here's a cute little video. Daft Punk in Little Big Planet.

Infamous PS3 Demo 'Train Rescue' gameplay HD

Here's some gameplay footage of Infamous. This is part of the demo that will be on the PSN on May 21.



Finally, here's a video interview about the new PSN game called Trash Panic. It looks interesting, here's hoping it comes at a discounted price *$5 or $6 anyone?*.



The One Man Water Cooler~!



In this week's column I'd like to discuss something very serious. This week I'm going to go behind the scenes at 411 and discuss something that is very real. There is a curse that plagues anyone who writes a Sony news report at 411. I am the only man who has written a Sony news report at 411 and lived to write to this day. So without further adieu this week we're going to go B3yond the Curse.

You see I was not the first man to write a Sony news report at 411mania. I was the man who renamed "The SIXAXIS Report" to "B3yond the Report" but I was not the original creator of the Sony news report. The original creator of The SIXAXIS Report, 411mania's first Sony news report, was a man by the name of Andrew Mellick. Andrew ran the column for several months and everything went dandy. But then he disappeared. Andrew was never heard from again.

Several months later, the 360 news report writer *Mike Minotti* decided he was going to try to pull double duty and write both the SIXAXIS Report and the 360 news report. Things went well for about 6 weeks, and then something happened. Mike suddenly became discouraged and ended his writing of the Sony news report. And once again the Sony news report went dead.

Fast forward to August 2007, when yours truly joined 411mania.com. I was young, naïve, and without direction. I didn't know what I wanted to do. But after looking around the site I noticed we didn't have a Sony news report to counteract the Nintendo and Microsoft news reports. Without looking into what had happened to the people before me who had written The SIXAXIS Report I jumped at the opportunity to write it.

Things went well for about a year. I had written the column, almost never missed a report *I believe over 1 year I missed 2 weeks in total*, and was doing great. I even changed the name of the column to B3yond the Report. But then disaster struck me as well. I was totally out of commission. I didn't know what hit me. In a desperate attempt to save the column I handed it over to Derek Robbins. Derek didn't know what he was getting himself into.

Derek wrote B3yond the Report for several months. Derek, like Mike Minotti, was attempting to pull double duty as he wrote the 10th Hour and B3yond the Report. Everything was going fine, and just like everyone before him, disaster suddenly struck Derek and he too was out of commission.

There have been 6 people at 411mania to write an edition of a Sony news report.

Andrew Mellick: Wrote for several months but is no longer writing. He hasn't been seen in years.
Mike Minotti: Wrote for around 6 weeks. He's no longer writing, and hasn't been seen in over a year.
Mark Salmela: Wrote for a year, was taken out of commission, and didn't write for 8 months.
Dan Owens: Wrote here for years. But after one edition substituting for me for B3yond the Report was taken out. He hasn't been seen in months and no longer writes.
Drew Robbins: Wrote one edition of B3yond the Report. Disaster struck Drew early. He no longer writes here.
Derek Robbins: Wrote for around 8 months before disaster finally struck Derek. Derek is trying to make a comeback but current status does not look good.

You see? 6 writers and all of them have had disasters that have taken them out of writing. The Sony news report is clearly cursed, and even I have fallen victim before. I managed o make a comeback. Derek is attempting to make a comeback and write the 10th Hour, but who knows if he'll ever be the same again.

So what will the future bring us? What happens if I go down again? What happens if disaster strikes me one more time? Will anyone dare to take over this column? Will anyone dare to take on the curse? Can anyone defeat the curse that has become known as B3yond the Curse? Only time will tell.


So Shaq, what do you think of this curse?



You're gonna fucking die Salmela.

…Thanks Shaqy…



B3yond the Mail!



Rod Oracheski said: I think staving off piracy might have been a side benefit from Blu Ray, but Sony's primary reason is obvious - to push for a win in the format war against HD-DVD.

This could be a long debate all on its own. Now I don't want to have a huge debate, but I was always pretty certain Blu-Ray was destined to win just to its support from the movie studios. Now maybe I have revisionist's history, but it seems even without the PS3 more movie studios supported Blu-Ray than HD-DVD. I'm not saying you're wrong, Sony clearly wanted to win the format wars, but I highly believe piracy was just as important an issue to Sony.

Wii60 (Guest) said: Even if BR dies off, Sony can use the PSN abilities to drive the console forward. Can you imagine if the PS3 didn't include BR? Sony would be seen as having zero confidence in its own format. They had no choice.

You are 100% right. As I was saying with Rod piracy was in no way the only reason Sony chose to use Blu-Ray in the PS3. But as others were saying Sony's been constantly spending millions, perhaps billions on developing new technology against piracy, and they keep getting burned every time. Oh, and as much as I like the PSN, there's no way a home console could rely on something like that to drive a console forward right now. It's unfortunate but true. Damn data-capping!

shockmaster (Guest) said: As the price of HDTV's keeps dropping Sony will gain ground, and they can defer the cost of making PS4 longer than Microsoft and especially Nintendo can ride their current systems. The question is whether Sony can afford to take a beating for two or three more years before their technology separates itself from the competition.

Had the economy not been in the crapper, I would have imagined a new Microsoft console in late 2010, maybe 2011. But due to the success of the Wii and the decline of the world economy, I think all plans for a new console from Microsoft have been put on the backburner. 2012 maybe, but definitely not 2010 anymore.

Oh, and HDTV prices can't drop soon enough. As we saw at this year's CES in January all of the big manufactured have finally stopped trying to develop the biggest screen ever and finally make some cheap but good HDTVs. I mean a 100 inch plasma was cool 2 years ago, but I don't need to see a new one 2 inches bigger every year when no one can afford it.

Steve307 (Guest) said: What happened to the MvC2 demo having online? Last Thursday, I went from giddy fanboy to disappointment as soon as I realized that can ONLY play it with local multiplayer.

Sucks doesn't it? Capcom has been the most interesting company to me this generation. Sometimes they do amazing things like Megaman 9, and sometimes they just plain piss me off like Megaman 9 DLC. One day I will love Capcom *Street Fighter 4, Bionic Commando remake on PSN*, the next I will hate them *Street Fighter 4 costumes, Resident Evil 5*.

Andy (Guest) said: Fighting piracy works just as well as the War on Drugs. That is to say, not at all. The money spent on fighting piracy is likely more than the real loss. There is no way to prove that anyone who steals a product would have legally purchased it. Blu ray is pirated constantly, and will continue to be, just like every other video or game format forever.

Companies would be much better served by producing a product good enough that the majority of people WANT TO BUY IT, create basic copy protection, and then ignore the slim minority who steal.

Can I have some of your drugs? But seriously, while Blu-Ray movies may be pirated, Blu-Ray games are not. Also, as long as it costs money, people will pirate, no matter how great the product.


As I said before I always read what you guys send me and I appreciate the comments, even if they're sometimes filled with hate. If you wanted a response to your comment and I didn't respond I apologize.



The 411mania Empire~!



The Full Circle by Joe Roche.
Nintendophiles by Theo Fraser.
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly by Armando Rodríguez.
411 Games Top 5 by Todd Vote.
411 Fact or Fiction Games by Ramon Aranda.
Achievement Unlocked by Rod Oracheski.



Signing Off!



What do you think? My B3yond the Report Super fan Eric is back with a vengeance. I must thank Eric for all the hard work he's put into this column. Every banner I have with the exception of "Going B3yond Pop Culture" and Buzz Light-year have been made by Eric. Anyways let me know whether or not you think I should stay with this, or go back to Buzz Light-year. I can be reached by the comments section below, or by sending an email to [e-mail].

With that said that's it for this week. I don't want to spoil everything, but it looks like yours truly is going to E3. I'll be sure to diary my adventures here, as well as provide a lot more in terms of E3 predictions in the coming weeks. Be sure to add me on the PSN, my name is Fester. I'll be back next week. I don't need no F'N breaks. Cya in 7!




And I think to myself…. Whaaaaaaaaat a Wooooooooooooonderful wooooooooorld!