B3yond the Report 05.19.09

Posted by Mark Salmela on 05.19.2009

Listen all ya’ll it’s a sabotage! It’s a race to see who’s more insane, Sony or the guy who writes about them. This week Mark lists the top ten PSN games: Wipeout, MegaMan, Street Fighter, Pixel Junk, see where your favorites land. Also talk about new banner, NPD numbers, the PS3 Slim, the next game from Kojima Productions, and more when you go B3yond the Report!



Welcome back to the critically acclaimed B3yond the Report! I am your host Mark Salmela, and after a solid year of the old format I've decided to change up the column. As you can see the incredibly talented and awesome B3yond the Superfan Eric has been at it again, and Snake has been put to rest as the official banner of B3yond. Enjoy your rest good hero.

And now, the new banner!



Sexxxxxxxxxxxxy

Want to make this banner your desktop? Want an HD resolution to use for whatever? Go here to snatch a copy for yourself. Comes in multiple sizes.


Anyways, along with the new banner I'm going to change up the way I post news at B3yond. While it can be negative in that I'll be posting less news and will be getting rid of the B3yond the Tabloids section, it will also be positive since it will allow me to talk more about the bigger stories of the week and allow me to interject more facts along with my opinions. One of the biggest problems I've had with B3yond the Report is managing its length. I think the column goes on for too long and I need to make it shorter. Just because there's no word limit on the internet doesn't mean that journalists can write however much they want. There's still 24 hours in the day. Some journalists around the internet have yet to realize that *hi IGN*.

Anyways, let's see how this works out. If I don't like how it goes or I get negative feedback on the changes I can always revert back to the old style. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the show!



New and improved, it's B3yond the News of the Week~!

NPD numbers released, people panic



The biggest news of the past week was the release of the April NPD numbers, and how everyone's calling for the end of the world. The big winner of the hardware department was the Nintendo DS/DSi, which sold over a million units in April. Here's the numbers breakdown:

Nintendo DSi - 827,000, Wii - 340,000, Nintendo DS Lite - 215,000, Xbox 360 - 175,000, PlayStation 2 - 172,000, PlayStation 3 - 127,000, PSP - 116,000

The PlayStation 2 has seen a resurgence in sales due to the price drop to $100. Will Sony get the hint and drop the price of the PlayStation 3? Nope. Not only does Sony not understand the problem with the PS3, they've gone mentally insane. Here's SCEA's Patrick Seybold's response to the April NPD numbers:

We often hear from our customers that they are surprised by everything the PS3 does in addition to what they purchased the device for - including features like DLNA, free access to Wi Fi and Internet browser. In some ways, this serves as a reminder that there's more we can do to relay the breadth and power of the PS3.

Yeah, how could you not own a PS3 with features such as… WAIT WHAT? What the fuck is DLNA? Seriously! I own a PS3 and I am the official Sony correspondent for 411mania and I don't even know what the fuck they're talking about! How the hell am I supposed to be excited for DLNA? Also, free Wi-Fi? Who the hell carries their PS3 to a Starbucks or McDonald's to get free Wi-Fi? I can tell you right now an internet connection isn't free, and Sony totally doesn't understand what Wi-Fi is. Sony probably meant to say that people enjoy playing games online for free on the PS3, but even then it's not something to brag about in press releases. I don't think anyone actually bought a PS3 because you could surf the web for free. Sony's internet browser sucks.


This picture would be my response to the NPD numbers every month if I were Nintendo. Come on Nintendo, rub it in a little.


NPD numbers on video games



Along with the decline in console sales, sales in the games department are also extremely down. Here's the NPD breakdown:

01. Wii Fit (Wii) - 471,000
02. Pokemon Platinum (DS) - 433,000
03. Mario Kart Wii (Wii) - 210,000
04. Wii Play (Wii) - 170,000
05. The Godfather II (X360) - 155,000
06. Resident Evil 5 (X360) - 122,000
07. New Super Mario Bros. (DS) - 119,000
08. Mario Kart DS (DS) - 112,000
09. Guitar Hero Aerosmith (X360) - 110,000
10. The Godfather II (PS3) - 91,000

That's absolutely terrible. The only game on a Sony platform was Godfather 2? 91 thousand?! Holy crap this was a terrible month. When a 4 year old game in Mario Kart DS outsells everything released on a Sony platform it's time to panic. I don't want to sound like a broken record but Sony needs a hundred dollar price drop and they need it now. If May NPD numbers come and Sony gets destroyed again they're going to look like an absolute joke, and those numbers will be released during the crucial time period of E3.


Sony PS3 Slim in production?



Hot off the presses from the rumor department, Sony is allegedly readying a PS3 Slim for market. This wouldn't be the first time Sony redesigned one of their consoles. Hell, every Sony home console has had a slim version. Both the PS2 Slim and the PS1 Slim were released around 3 to 4 years after the initial launch of the console, so we're not too far off if history tells us anything. The PS3 is 2 and a half years old, and allegedly a lot of money could be saved from the PS3 Slim. I'm not going to get into all of the technical details but by doing certain things such as including a power brick like the 360 and Wii instead of building it into the console the PS3 could be made a lot smaller and a lot cheaper. Could this be the way Sony reaches a $100 price cut that is desperately needed?

After looking at the pictures I think everyone's initial reaction is: "Holy crap that thing is ugly". But what some people fail to realize is that isn't necessarily a final model, and from my end it looks like the console has yet to receive its final coating. I'm sure without the glossy finish the current PS3's don't look so hot. So I wouldn't pass judgment yet. The final PS3 Slim, if it exists, could end up looking a lot different.

Do I think the PS3 Slim is real? Hell no. Is Sony testing the waters? Of course. Why wouldn't they be? Sony is always testing out new hardware models to find a cheaper and more efficient way to produce hardware. They do it with all of their products. TVs, computers, of course the PS3 is going to have several re-designs in production. If Sony is going to announce a PS3 Slim it would be at E3. As I said I doubt it'll happen, but it's nice to see Sony is looking for ways to cut costs. Maybe they understand the issue with the PS3 after all.


A console only a mother could love. Hmmm where have I heard that phrase before?


Sorry, but I'm hungry.


Sony PlayStation Store update for the week of May 14



Another Thursday, another PlayStation Store update. This week featured a solid update despite the lack of any blockbuster releases. For new games ZEN Pinball and Texas Cheat'Em went up for download. While I have not tried Texas Cheat'Em I assume it's your standard poker game. It's pretty hard to mess up poker. But on the other side it's also hard to make poker exciting and worth playing on a console. You obviously can't gamble real money, which is the fundamental problem with poker on consoles. ZEN Pinball is the first Pinball game for the PS3, and I will have a review of the game up shortly *maybe by the time you read this*.

In addition to ZEN Pinball and Texas Cheat'Em Spyro 3 and King of Fighters 99 went up for download. These are two solid PS1 games that everyone should check out. I've said it before and I'll say it again PS1 titles on the PSN are free money. There are literally dozens of PS1 titles I would buy in a heartbeat if they went up on the PSN, so it's great to both see and hear that PS1 games are going to be coming more frequently. This makes 5 PS1 games over the past 2 weeks, and this is a pattern I hope Sony continues.

Exclusive to the US, Rag Doll Kung-Fu is free this week courtesy of Sprint *offer expires Thursday*. You know, one could say that I should just be grateful PSN games are being promoted and given away at all, but this is yet another time I'm screwed out of a free PSN game. Qore has given away both Calling all Cars and Velocity Bowling, but I owned both of those titles way before they were ever announced to be going free. The same thing applies with Rag Doll. I'm glad it's free for a limited time, but can't Sony ever just give a new game away for free so early adopters such as myself don't get screwed over?

Finally there is a free expansion pack to Motorstorm: Pacific Rift. While the expansion pack only includes new cars it's great to see that they are free and will be adding new cars for free over the next few weeks. Motorstorm: Pacific Rift is perhaps the best racer ever made in this journalists' opinion. Now before Gran Turismo fans lose their shit and write hate mail be aware that I like a ton of racers, but I prefer arcade racing to simulation racing. Motorstorm: Pacific Rift is everything I could ever want in a racer, and I feel the adrenalin rush every time I play it. I recommend anyone who's a fan of racing games to pick this gem up. It's a damn shame it got buried beneath all of the other titles released last fall.


Chang kicks ass.


Teaser site for Kojima's next game goes live



Finally in the news department is the unveiling of a new teaser site for Kojima's next game. The site is both exciting and un-eventful at the same time. On one hand the site is basically just a java video of a grassy field with wind blowing and lots of clouds. You can watch as long as you want to but nothing ever happens. But on the other hand after exploring the source code of the video key words such as "Metal Gear" were unveiled which hints at a new installment in the Metal Gear franchise. Some people were quick to point out that Kojima has said that he will be stepping away from the Metal Gear franchise, but then again he said the same thing after MGS3.

So is this a new Metal Gear game? I'm not sure but it's pretty convenient that this site has gone live so close to E3. As someone who has a private meeting with Konami at E3 you can be sure I'll be digging away at getting any information I possibly can about this new game. I have a good feeling whatever the next Metal Gear game will be that it will star Raiden, as I believe Kojima that Solid Snake's journey is over.

Edit: Just as I finished writing that the site was updated with a timer and a "5" that flashes every few seconds. The 5 is in the standard Metal Gear font which all but confirms that the site is pimping Metal Gear Solid 5. Oh and there is lightning in the background as well. The time will end on Thursday, so be sure to keep your eye on it.

Kojima's teaser site.



B3yond the Cinema!



Here's the latest video from Uncharted 2. It's 5 minutes of incredible action, and there are some definite throwbacks to previous game such as Crash Bandicoot. The opening 30 seconds of that video is totally a throwback to Crash. Naughty Dog is awesome.



I know the game isn't new, but I love these Team Fortress 2 videos. Here's the newest video released this week, the Scout.



Finally, here's a demo of BioShock 2. I'm still going to reserve judgment of the game, but I must admit the Big Sister is starting to win me over. I still don't understand the whole drill thing though. A Big Daddy's drill is supposed to be his hand. He doesn't hold it or anything, so why does this prototype Big Daddy get to switch between the drill and a gun?



The One Man Water Cooler~!



This week I'm going to make an updated list of the top ten PSN games. I say updated because I've made a list of the top ten PSN games in the Water Cooler before, but it's been about a year since my last one. In that past year there have been a ton of awesome PSN games. Be aware that this list will NOT count games that have been released on a disc. So no Gran Turismo, no SOCOM, no WarHawk, no Siren, ect.

Honorable Mentions: Elefunk, Blast Factor, Super Street Fighter 2 HD Remix, Comet Crash

10.) Ratchet and Clank: Quest for Booty – While it is incredibly short and lacks some of the Ratchet and Clank feel, Quest for Booty is perfectly priced at $15. Now if only more franchises would take this route between big full budget releases.

9.) Mortal Kombat 2 – The second best Mortal Kombat game ever behind Mortal Kombat Trilogy, MK2 is an amazing fighter that is an absolute steal for $5. The game itself is incredible, and while it's not exactly an HD Remix, the game was cleaned up by Sony Online and it looks crisp.

8.) Echochrome – The best puzzle game on the PSN. Echochrome will literally tickle your brain. It doesn't matter whether you're a gamer or not, Echochrome will make your jaw drop when you see all of the crazy shit you can do.

7.) Bionic Commando Rearmed – The remake of the NES classic is everything I wanted in a 2D platformer. While the lack of a jump button can be annoying, it would totally break the game. I understand that and respect the grappling mechanic.

6.) Flower – The poetic journey of a flower. Oh how the man inside of me is embarrassed to love this game so much. Flower nails everything it sets out to do, and is absolutely beautiful while doing it. While I hate the whole "are games art" debate, there is no doubt in my mind that Flower is a work of art. It appeals on every emotion.

5.) Pixel Junk Eden – Pixel Junk Eden may not be fun to play co-op, but this game is absolutely addicting single player. I love the concept of the game, and it is relaxing while challenging. It's a great game to play between big releases.

4.) MegaMan 9 – Who says old school isn't cool? While the DLC may have ruined part of the game for me, I can't deny how much I love the concept of making a new game on old hardware. Rather than focusing on having "amazing HD graphics" MegaMan 9 forced Capcom to develop an amazing game with tremendous gameplay. Now if only Sega would get the memo.

3.) Super Star Dust HD – This is the best dual-stick shooter on the market. It kicks Geometry Wars ass. Super Star Dust HD is an amazing game that begs for a sequel.

2.) Wipeout HD – This game could have easily been a full retail release. This is quite possibly the most beautiful looking download-exclusive game on the market. Wipeout is a hell of a lot of fun, and seizures aside, this game kicks ass.

1.) Pixel Junk Monsters – Pixel Junk Monsters kick started the tower defense genre, and I have yet to see or play a game that has come close to matching the original formula. Plants vs Zombies was really good, but PJM is still king of this genre.

That's all for this week. Agree? Disagree? Be sure to let me know what you think, and feel free to leave me your top ten PSN titles. About a month from now I will make a new version of the top ten PS3 disc-based titles. I just want to wait until after I've had time to play, beat, and reflect upon Infamous so I can properly include or exclude it from the list.



The 411mania Empire~!



The Full Circle by Joe Roche.
Nintendophiles by Theo Fraser.
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly by Armando Rodríguez.



Signing Off!



What do you think? Solid Snake replacing Nariko? Maybe I'll do a healthy rotation, who knows.


This week's B3yond the Report is dedicated to the fine people at Factor 5. Thanks for coming guys, Lair was awesome.



Stop being a sarcastic asshole Salmela.

Quiet Shaqy!

Salmela, you're just as insane as Sony is.

That's true, but isn't that kind of fitting? An insane writer writing about an insane company? After all, we're like two peas in a pod. Sony believes the PS3 is priced right, and I believe a 4 time NBA champion is guest writing in my column. Wait, what am I talking about? Shaq IS guest writing in my column.

Get your hands away from me Salmela! I'm not letting you touch me again.

Chill out Shaqy, I'm nowhere near the danger zone. Put the phone down. Anyways, that's it for me. Be sure to let me know what you think of the new changes to B3yond the Report. I realize some people may be disappointed that I won't be mentioning all of the news pertaining to the PS3, but this will allow me to interject more of my personality and opinion without making this column drag on forever. Be sure to let me know your thoughts. I can be reached via the comments section below or at [e-mail]. Feel free to add me on the PSN, my name is Fester. Cya in 7!