Four Player Co-Op 08.19.09: Brock Lesnar In EA MMA, Birthdays, Charities and Cliches, More

Posted by John De Large on 08.19.2009

Do you want Brock Lesnar in the new EA MMA game? Would you give your earnings to charity? Do you like the Genesis or Gameboy? Do you want clichés gone? Do you want another brand spanking new Co-Op? Then check out the full column for all the details!

John De Large has joined the game.
Drew Robbins has joined the game.
Chris Lansdell has joined the game.
Ramon Aranda has joined the game.
Ramon's Unibrow & Moustache has joined the game.

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1. Randy Couture is going to be added to EA's new MMA game, but the man you're really hoping to play as is Brock Lesnar (with taunting ability), just admit it.

John De Large

I'd rather have Brock Lesnar in an FF7 remake. Imagine him getting drunk, headbutting Barrett and then giving Cloud an F-5 and taking over as the leader.

What do you guys mean I'm the only one who wants to see that? Well anyway, I brought it up because I won't be getting the MMA game (even though I wrote the question) and I never played as him in the wrestling games (though I did manage to pin him using Maven in SvR Shut Your Mouth), so here's where I think he'd do best in a game.

Drew Robbins

I'm not an avid watcher of UFC, nor a casual watcher. As a matter of fact, I can't recall ever sitting down and watching an event of that nature. However, I have played the UFC game, and you bet that Lesnar was a big part of my enjoyment. Not playing as him, per se, but more beating him down in an online match. It seemed like everyone used the guy, so I had started to get accustomed to beating Lesnar's face in. I'll miss that with EA's MMA game.

Chris Lansdell

I shall not! I admit nothing! I've done lots of taunting as Brock Lesnar, what with UFC Unleashed and Smackdown vs Raw. No, the man I'm really hoping to play as is Ken Shamrock at his prime. Making bitches tap is fun. I think a more poignant question is "Will Dana White get sand in his wrinkly bits and pull Couture from UFC 102?" You can't blame him if he does, I mean if I started writing articles for IGN I doubt Ramon and Ashish would keep me around very long…

Ramon Aranda

Yeah, it would be nice to have Brock in the game, but Dana isn't going to allow it. White has been pretty vocal about EA in recent weeks given that they supposedly gave the UFC no play when he was trying to push for a game to be made.

That being said, it would be pretty funny to have him be able to taunt the hell out of an opponent while spitting all over the place like Daffy Duck.

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2. Pokemon Gold and Silver are being re-made for the DS as Heart Gold and Soul Silver and will be released in Spring. The games will feature improved graphics, sounds and the addition of new touch-screen controls. Don't you think they should leave well enough alone?

John De Large

It didn't have touch screen controls before, why does it need them now? Just because you can put 24 inch rims on the car doesn't mean you have to, Nintendo. Then again, just because you can give a car a paint job and makeover doesn't mean you have to either, but let's face it: we're all looking forward to the new graphics and sound that'll be in new Gold and Silver.

Drew Robbins

Outside of the occasional desire to play Rhythm Heaven or Elite Beat Agents, I hardly ever play my DS. It was getting to the point where I was considering just selling the device, but Gold and Silver changed my mind. The Pokemon games were virtual crack back in the day, and Gold and Silver were the best of the bunch. So to answer the question, no, don't leave well enough alone, Nintendo!

Chris Lansdell

Why no, no I do not. Progress is good, JDL. Progress is good. They're not giving it a tummy Pokétuck, some Pokétox and some silicone Poképlants. They're just putting on some makeup and giving it a new handbag. Touchscreen controls could be great for those times when a wild Abra appears! And you try to throw master ball, but wild Abra uses Teleport! Wild Abra escaped! RAGE~! Or, or, when you're Bulbasaur, because Bulbasaur is cool, and you meet Charizard! And you want to change to Blastoise and use Water Cannon, because it's super effective! But you can't find the bugger in time, and you get roasted like a Californian forest. Yeah, never been frustrated by this game at all. I will actually buy a DS JUST for this game. Well, I'll buy my son a DSi for Christmas and bogart his old DS, but that's good enough, right?

Ramon Aranda

Yes. Look, I really enjoy the Pokemon franchise but when will it be enough? You're essentially doing the same thing each time out and quite frankly it's becoming pretty stale.

I do have Sapphire and it's great but just like Pokemon Red, I don't plan on getting a new version for a long time. It's become over-saturated and it needs to slow the f*ck down.

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3. This year marks the 20th birthday of both the Sega Genesis and the Gameboy. Which system did you have more fun with?

John De Large

I hated the Genesis. Only the angsty rocker kids who used to live next door to me and al the dumb wannabe gangster kids I went to school with played their Genesis outside of Sonic 3. (rant) The Genesis sacrificed sound and gameplay for some kinda cool graphics. All of the games that got ported to both the SNES and the Genesis ended up playing better on the SNES.(/rant) I prefered my Gameboy and the copies of Link, Tetris and ORIGINAL Pokemon Blue that I had gotten as hand me downs. Good times, good times.

Drew Robbins

Even as a child I wasn't much for portable gaming. Pokemon was the only thing I could be bothered with most of the time on the original Gameboy, and that got old after a while too. The Genesis, on the other hand, never got old. Still to this day I drag out my Genesis and play some Gunstar Heroes and Hyperstone Heist. For all of the praise the SNES gets, the Genesis was the system for me in the 16-bit days. I had both consoles, but with all of the campaigns it was hard not to take one side in the console war, and Sega had won me over with cheesy propaganda and a blue hedgehog.

Chris Lansdell

The Genesis, but only because I played it at a friend's house. I have some great memories of playing Double Dragon III as that ninja guy with the sword and going "SLICE! SLICE! SLICE!" during some incredibly hard boss battle, not to mention mastering the timing on the double cyclone kick and the fastball special. Then there was Gauntlet and California Games and Street Fighter II Championship…man, good times. By the time I bought a Genesis it was only for Sonic and I THINK Nights, which may have been out on Genesis but my recollection is a little blurry. And of course, Brian Lara Cricket. I had a Gameboy but only had Tetris, some random tennis game and some Marion nonsense on it, and only the first 2 ever got played. It was OK, but again I bought one after its heyday, right around the time of Game Boy Colour.

Ramon Aranda

Easily the Gameboy. A friend of mine had the Genesis when it came out and even though I played it from time to time (since Sonic was pretty sweet and the uncensored version of Mortal Kombat was pretty sweet), I still played the Gameboy wayyyy more. Once I had the Gameboy Pocket (which was slimmer and had longer battery life, not to mention it had a better screen) I rarely put the damn thing down.

There's just too many games that I was able to have fun with when I wasn't playing with the NES or the SNES.

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4. Sega has put together a poll that lets gamers choose what classic Sega game will be released next. Choices include Earthworm Jim, Golden Axe II, Shining Force, Revenge of Shinobi, Streets of Rage, Toejam and Earl or Wonderboy. What would you pick?

John De Large

Games for a system I hated? You know I'm going to say that I pick none of the above, right? Let's get some SNES up in here!

Drew Robbins

Oddly enough, most of these games Sega put up for this poll can already be played on a current gen console in some form. The Ultimate Genesis Collection (or whatever it was called) had a good majority of the games, but one it did not include was Earthworm Jim, a heinous crime if there ever was one. Talk about great 90's mascots, Jim had everything! He even had a cartoon show which I vaguely recall enjoying. Hard times have fallen on Jim, though, with possibly the worst jump to 3D outside of Bubsy the Bobcat. That doesn't change the fact that his original Genesis game needs to be on XBLA, and hey, why not bring it to PSN some time?

Chris Lansdell

Damn you JDL! How do I choose between Earthworm Jim, (one of the most underrated cartoons EVER), Shining Force (awesome in a cartridge), Street of Rage (scrolling beat em ups for the win!) and SHINOBI!!! Hell I wouldn't even complain about Golden Axe II. It just goes to show that they don't make ‘em like they used to. So now my loyal readers, you are to go and vote in this poll repeatedly for the game of your choice, and hopefully the response will be so overwhelming that Sega gives us all of them!

Ramon Aranda

Earthworm Jim....

Except we just heard this week that Gameloft has signed on to publish Earthworm Jim as a downloadable title, so I guess I'll have to pick a different one! Toejam and Earl it is then. The game was quite comical and just seemed fresh in comparison to other titles that were out at the time.

I was never big on Golden Axe and though Streets of Rage was cool, I preferred Final Fight anyway (JDL: Damn right, you did!). So yeah, let's stick with TJ and Earl.

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5. Recently, 411mania was invited to an UNO tournament where the prize was a $1000 donation to the winner's charity of choice. If $1000 to the charity of your choice was on the line, what game would you pick to play and what charity would you donate to?

John De Large

It wouldn't be a tournament that I'd play in. If I'm raising money for charity, how about if I play TF2, pick The Spy and backstab as many fools as possible (with each sponsor donating a dollar for every backstab I get in one sitting and a lesser amount of money for all the other points earned seems fair) in the name of charity, then give my winnings to the Susan Satriano Foundation. If you're wondering what they do (since the website is still under construction and doesn't say what they do), the Fdtn seeks to increase awareness about breast cancer and they donate scholarships and scholarship money to families where a parent or other crucial relative has breast cancer. I lost my aunt to breast cancer and I miss her lots, so the SSF could gladly have my winnings.

Drew Robbins

I feel like I've answered a similar question some time in recent 4PC history, but I shall reiterate, I suck at video games. My last answer had something to do with competitive Elite Beat Agents, but that was a little far-fetched so I'll ground this one in reality. Mario Party, yeah, thats the game I can win at. Luck based? That sounds like the words of someone who just got beaten down in a good old fashioned game of Mario Party. For charity, I"ll take the obvious route and go with Child's Play...because it was the first charity that popped into my mind, and it goes towards a good cause, too!

Chris Lansdell

"I don't want your charity…." Ahhh Skunk Anansie. That woman's voice was so unique. But I digress. The game would, without a doubt, be Killer Instinct. I would be Orchid, and I would dominate. ULTRAAAAAAAAAA COMBOOOOOOOOO!!!! Once I won, the $1,000 would go to a local charity that is building low-cost boarding houses in the region for out-of town patients and their families who come here for treatment.

Ramon Aranda

Well I was there at the UNO tournament as you all know, so my choice was the Children's Hospital in Oakland. These guys could really use some funding and I was glad to choose them. As for a different game, clearly I want something that I'm pretty damn good at so I'd pick from one of the following choices: Battlefield 2, Bases Loaded, Tecmo Bowl, Fight Night Round 4 or WWF No Mercy.

Yeah I know there's some old school flavor in there besides FNR4 but I'm damn good at them.

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Bonus: What over used cliche do you never want to see in a video game, ever again?

John De Large

Androgynous heroes make my skin crawl, but the idea of having children save the world is my least favorite cliche, although there are one or two good games that have kids saving the world ('Sup Earthbound? 'Sup Chrono Trigger?). For runner-up, let's go with "OMG, the hero and villain are related!" or "OMG these two characters know each other, but it isn't common knowledge!" or any variant available.

Drew Robbins

How many Japanese RPGs have you played where the story revolves around an androdgynous character who is some sort of chosen one that is destined to save the world from some unworldly evil? So many of them stick to this archaic format, which is one of the main reasons I keep a safe distance from the genre at large. There are original titles out there, but for every Persona 3 there are about 10 "Tales of The Chosen One" games.

Chris Lansdell

"Rescue the damsel in distress". Seriously, I've lost count of the number of times I've had to fight off hordes of evil baddies to rescue some dumbass chick who's only going to go and get kidnapped in the sequel.

Peach? I wanted to just stand there and let Bowser eat her or whatever he was planning to do. Zelda? Triforce to the face! Come on games people. Be creative!

Ramon Aranda

You're the weakest in your group but humanity is doomed and you're the only one left to right the wrong.

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UNTIL NEXT TIME....

Here's something unusual from my past.


Peace!