What If? 09.15.09: Natal Smackdown, Disney, And Price Drops
Posted by Greg Bruno on 09.15.2009
Check out the latest edition of What If? to see what 411's Greg Bruno and Company have to say about recent price drops, Project Natal, and who they'd like to date.
Welcome back to another titillating edition of What If? powered by the UNREAL Engine. I hope everyone had a nice first week of NFL action. I live in Chicago...so I don't want to talk about it. Speaking of not talking (see the irony in that statement?), I'm recovering from vocal cord surgery so I've been speechless for the past week. Let me tell you how awesome that isn't. Watching the Bears game and not being able to scream at the TV is my version of Hell. If you notice any (more) strangeness in this week's column, blame it on the pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pain pills.
Anyway, this week you're all graced with the presence of:
Jeffrey Harris: The self-proclaimed veteran 411mania Jack of All Trades; contributing to Movies/TV, Wrestling, MMA, and Games and provides you the best coverage of Anime Expo, Wrestlemania, San Diego Comic Con, E3, and movies, games, and MMA DVD reviews in the history of history. Jeffrey has decided to grace What If? with his presence to show that straight edge does in fact mean that he and CM Punk are better than you.
Todd Vote: Todd is the moderator of the chaos that is known as the Top 5. Each and every week he traverses the unholy lands that is the writers forums to scrounge up the best lists this side of the wrestling zone. When he is not giving all for that cause, he can usually be found drooling over pictures of Kelly Clarkson and Christina Hendricks. You may even catch him playing something on Xbox Live.
Greg Bruno: I'm the mastermind behind What If? Being that I'm the biggest Halo writer on the staff, I'll be doing a review for Halo 3: ODST in the near future. Also, I've been given special instruction not to mention Megan Fox for an entire column. So...hmmm...wow...yea....did...uhh...did anyone see the new Family Guy? It was funny...Not as good as Jennifer's Body starring Megan Fox. Fire me.
What if the MGS series focused more on gameplay than plot twists and cut scenes?
Jeffrey Harris:
The series might not have turned to overhyped mediocrity. Why is it that the actual best games of the franchise are the ones no one wants to talk about anymore? That being Metal Gear Solid and Metal Gear Solid: Game Boy Color. The Game Boy Color version is probably the most unsung video game of all time. No it doesn't have the graphics or two hour cinematics of all the PS2 and PS3 sequels, but the game simply delivers on every level. It has a strong story, but the game is fucking brilliant to play. Its challenging, and it features some clever things for a Game Boy Color game including CIGARETTES! Yes, Snake actually has to smoke to get past levels in this game. Metal Gear Solid as a video game series died with the Game Boy Color game, wallowing in ridiculous story plot twists and pretentious and endless cut scenes for years to come. MGS2, 3, and 4 are all overrated while fans continue to overlook the truly brilliant installment of the series.
Todd Vote:
Then it wouldn't be MGS. It's that simple. Fans of this game have come to expect top notch gameplay, hours upon hours of cut scenes, and plot twists that make you go "huh?". I'd hate to see what Kojima could do when he focused solely on game play. That shit would be sick!
Greg Bruno:
I haven't played any of the Metal Gear games for this reason. My brothers have always been into them, so I've seen bits and pieces of the series, but every time I'd walk into the room they would be watching a cut scene. Sure, cut scenes definitely help progress the story, but when it's the majority of the time you're spending on the couch...that game play better kick ass. Now that i own a PS3 (yea, I broke down and picked on up) I intend to go back and play these games that people keep calling "the shit". As for plot twists, I have no problem with those as long as they are creative. The point of a plot twist is to not see it coming, but if you head into a game expecting a plot twist, it loses its purpose.
What If the next WWE Game used Project Natal?
Jeffrey Harris:
I would hope there would be a way for me to play as HHH and manipulate the McMahon family backstage so I can take an undeserved main event spot at Wrestlemania 25 and ruin the entire show for one of the biggest crowds of all time. Not only that, I will prop up the new guys and talk about I'm behind them 100% and going to push them to the moon while I proceed to go out and kick the crap out of all of them and spit my bottled water onto the crowd where I could actually do the virtual spitting as well as the virtual procreation with Stephanie . . . wait scratch that.
Todd Vote:
Holy cow, that would be quite the workout. But the real question here is: Would a WWE game using Project Natal go against the whole "don't try this at home" mantra? It'd be damn hard to get kids not to pile drive their little sister if they had to do it for a video game. On the other hand, my living room would be wrecked, I'd probably spend a day or so in the hospital after a particularly grueling match, and us wrestling fans who hate being told it is fake can hook up natal and beat some ass to prove even though it's fake, it still hurts like hell.
Greg Bruno: Officer: So, you're saying you didn't mean to Pedigree your mother through a table? Greg: No, like I already told you, I was Smackdown Vs Raw 2011. Officer: Yea, we get that. What we don't get is why she got Pedigree'd through a table. Greg: She walked in right as I was using my finisher. I had been waiting the entire match to use it. Officer: On her? Greg: No, on Randy Orton. Officer: ...I hate Randy Orton. Greg: I know, right?
What if Sony's big price drop would have put their price point below that of Microsoft and on Par with Nintendo's Wii?
Jeffrey Harris: I don't think it could hurt. In this economy all the big chains are trying to prove who gives the best value and bang for your buck, and that's something Nintendo has really had over everyone in the gaming industry for a while. Giving gamers some economic relief isn't bad and I think it can only encourage sales instead of maintaining unrealistic, premium costs in such a horrible economic time. Either that or they can figure out a way to make a public option for video gaming.
Todd Vote: The internet would shit a brick. Microsoft would be freaking out, and I'm betting Nintendo would as well. Mandatory downloads, and all the BS aside, I have no problem admitting that Sony probably has the better system. If they put the price point on par with the Wii, this generation would be shaken up beyond belief. Sony would finish number one, Nintendo would be a solid #2, and Microsoft would be stuck holding their dicks in their hand wondering what the fudge just happened.
Greg Bruno:
They didn't have to. I'm sure that pretty much everyone who was holding out on the PS3 will pick one up at this price point. Hell, I'm a dedicated Xbox fan, but I went out and bought one last week. It's a good system and a great blu-ray player. Microsoft and Nintendo would have been a little upset if the price went below theirs, however. i don't think they would have countered with another drop, but probably some killer bundles. For instance, Microsoft could bundle Gears 1 and 2 in with systems; Nintendo would have....umm...Wii Sports and Wii Sports Resort bundled? I don't know. I'm still having problems with admitting the Wii is anything more than a drinking-gaming system.
What if your favorite game company was bought by Disney?
Jeffrey Harris:
Well . . . they just bought my favorite company. Marvel Entertainment Inc., they don't really count as a game company right? I mean they do have an Interactive Division. I don't know, I think I would like with Marvel incredibly, and extremely mixed. I mean, Pixar has played a Disney merge to their benefit. Things go very well for Pixar. However, the Pixar and Disney relationship was pre-established beforehand and they released numerous movies together. I'm just worried about any influences Disney might assert over the company I like to spoil the pot or rebrand it.
Todd Vote:
Who says Disney is not already my favorite gaming company? Don't go assuming shit Greg... You know, first I would have to have a favorite game company. I'm not one of them types of folks that will swear by anything a studio does just because they had one or two massive hits. I'm the type of gamer where who makes it is one of the last things I notice. Now, I've come to accept that Infinity Ward just makes better Call of Duty game, and I can usually expect good things from certain companies. But that in no way makes them a favorite of mine. But let's say for shits and giggles that Midway was my favorite, and they were bought by Disney instead of Warner Bros. The "if it ain't broke approach" wouldn't really work here. So it would only be a matter of time before I seen Scorpion and Sub-Zero in the next Kingdom Hearts game, and that would make me a sad panda.
Greg Bruno:
Hmmm...If Disney bought Bungie I think we'd be in for some pretty interesting games. I think a brand new Lion King game would be in order. Except instead of a 2D side scroller, you play as Simba, the last genetically enhanced lion of the pack. Bungie is used to having games set in Africa, so this would be pretty easy. Simba's artillery would include nothing but his teeth, claws, and daddy issues.
**BONUS**
What if you got to date any female video game character who's name ISN'T Lara Croft?
Jeffrey Harris:
I'd be happy in not having to deal with such a loose, condescending, high maitenance chick like Lara Croft who probably only goes for Duke Nukem types. Lara Croft is an overrated TnA video game babe. I'd be more interested in Rachel from Ninja Gaiden. Rachel has got it going on. Also Trish and Lady from Devil May Cry, damn. Strong, confident badass chicks that wear leather are hot.
Todd Vote:
Simple decision. Maya from Killer Instinct 2. That chick is slamming in every sense of the word. She's wearing a top that is akin to a built in wardrobe malfunction... rather busty, and an ass that won't quit... It helps that she can whoop the sass out of any street fighter female character(obligatory shot at the Robbin's brothers complete)... Now just to get rid of that pesky Tusk so Maya and I can rock the cat box together. That muscle-bound He-Man wannabe is pushing up on my virtual chick.
Greg Bruno:
Cortana. Hands down, Cortana. She's sexy, cocky, and already naked. What's not to love? If not Cortana, I'd choose that girl Cloud from that one Final Fantasy game.
She could hack my system anytime.
That'll bring us to the end of another column. Don't worry kids, we'll be back. Remember to leave your own questions below to be used in a future edition.
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