The 10th Hour 10.31.09: Top 10 Resident Evil Monsters

Posted by Derek Robbins on 10.31.2009

We know Resident Evil has spawned some creepy monsters, but which are the creepiest of them all? From Cerberus the Zombie Dog and Las Plagas to straight up Zombies and William Birkin, 411's Derek Robbins ranks his Top 10 Resident Evil Monsters in the latest edition of The 10th Hour!

Hello and welcome to the 10th hour! Happy Halloween! Before I get started, allow me to hit on a couple of tangents.

-I took my time with it, but I finally beat Uncharted 2. From a writing standpoint, I will say it probably has the best ending ever. I felt really connected to the characters at the end, it was just emotionally satisfying. Maybe I am just a sap.

-This marks my last 10th hour until the month of December. I expect to knock out my top-25 games of the year in that month, so let's hope it is as fun as last year's list, eh?

-I get paid today and am going to try to buy Demon's Soul. That is if I can find it. Apparently it is sold out everywhere. I hope I am being mislead. I am usually on top of my niche Atlus games, so I am a little disappointed that I didn't already purchase this game.



The 10th Hour: Top 10 Resident Evil Monsters

In honor of Halloween, I am doing a list on the Top-10 monsters in the Resident Evil franchise. This is just my opinion, so feel free to contribute your own favorites. Before you ask, no, I do not consider Wesker a monster. I consider him Neo. So Wesker is not on this list and that is why he is not number one. Understand? Alright.

Well, this list is fairly straight forward so let's get it started already. Again, Happy Halloween!

10-) Zombie Shark - This one makes the list for simply being completely ridiculous and totally unnecessary. Resident Evil 1 and remake famously had a room where Umbrella was keeping a giant shark that was infused with the T-Virus. I suppose the T-Virus made the shark even more vicious than usual, but it really just makes one ask the question: why? Why would you need to zombify a shark to get your point across?

Look at it this way, let us say you work for Umbrella. You want to disperse medicine to the masses, but you also want to be deliciously evil. You capture a pesky spy or rival drug company or whatever and you decide to drop them in a shark tank for punishment. Now, wouldn't a normal shark get the job done? I mean, they could even do it right away if you made sure to cut the person you were throwing into the tank straight away. No, Umbrella wanted to go with a fucking zombie shark.

I guess it's more fearsome and slightly bigger or something? I don't know. Whatever the case, it is by far the most pointless creature in the entire Resident Evil franchise and that is saying quite a lot. Rebecca Chambers is in the Resident Evil franchise for goodness sakes! But I have a love for the absolutely pointless, because it just screams "Sharks with freakin laser beams on their heads"…so it gets on the list.



9-) Cerberus - AKA zombie dog. Yes, I am getting the animal kingdom out of the way. Cerberus has been a staple of the franchise ever since the beginning and is renowned for being fucking annoying. I mean, who wants to aim down to kill something, am I right? These things annoyed me the most in Resident Evils 4 and 5 where, when I saw a dog, I just knew it would take a chunk of my health away. I realize that could mean I just, you know, suck…but aiming down man! Aiming fucking down. Nobody liked that one guy, and you all knew a guy who chose him, don't even lie, who chose Oddjob. That is how I feel about Cerberus.

The dog makes this list though for having some of the most uniquely "jump do to surprise moments" in the series - namely, when a couple of them burst through the windows in the original Resident Evil. I am sure it was the case for a lot of other people and not just me, at least I swear to God it better be, but I about lost my lunch the very first time I saw the dogs break in through the glass. It was pretty much the scariest thing, to me at least, in the entire game. Yes, surprise dogs are scarier than zombie sharks and gigantic infected plants that can eat you.

Cerberus, proving one annoying lowered aim at a time that man's best friend can be a real bitch.



8-) Hunter - One of the better known monsters in the series outside of the default zombie, I would argue. The hunter replaces the zombie about half way through the original Resident Evil and shocks the user by not only being rather fast, but also deadly! The Hunter was able to decapitate the player and led way to a series of gruesome death possibilities for the Resident Evil franchise. Really, it was an annoying enemy to fight.

The first time you see a hunter might take you by surprise. Up to that point in the original Resident Evil, everything moved at a snail's pace. Even if you didn't have the ammo to take down your regular, run of the mill zombie, you could always run away and try to find some in another room. After all, the thing would just shamble. Hunters on the other hand provided a bit of a problem. They could run, jump and cause you problems. It was kind of befuddling, and if you were not properly prepared, kind of a pain in the ass.

I never was so much scared of the hunter as I was worried that it would kill me if I ran into one with very low health and ammo, but it has been in almost every single Resident Evil game, with the exception of 2, 4 and 5. For being so renown, it definitely earns a spot on this list.



7-) Tyrant - The tyrant is a fearsome beast. It has a blade protruding from its arm for very easy, well, you know – head slicin' action. Essentially, the tyrant is a killing machine and it is bred to be so. Only one in ten million hosts exposed to the tyrant virus have the capability to turn into tyrants, so I imagine the few that are out there would be killing machines. The T-Virus also caused some rather…interesting side effects. On top of the bladed arm, which I assure you was one of the perks, the host also got an acute decline in intelligence and a rather large increase in adrenaline, which caused the heart to expand and protrude from the chest. You know, for convenience!

The first ever human to show the potential to be a Tyrant was Lisa Trevor. Trevor's story is fairly sad as it involves her being abducted at a young age, exposed to pretty much every one of Umbrella's crazy viruses, and going through a mental and physical roller coaster ride. At the end of it, Albert Wesker ordered her to be killed so mistakes like that could never repeat themselves. Of course, if you know Lisa Trevor, she wasn't actually killed…she tried to kill Wesker in the storyline of Resident Evil, but failed as Wesker escaped the mansion. This is during the retcon timeline since, you know Wesker isn't fucking dead at the end of the original Resident Evil in this timeline.

The tyrant monster was also the final boss of the original Resident Evil. There are 15 different kinds of it in the Resident Evil franchise, but I will use this as sort of a generic label for all of them so they get their place. Well, except for one who gets mentioned later, but I am sure you can guess the exception…



6-) Iron Maiden/Regenerator - Without a doubt, the only scary monsters that can be found in Resident Evil 4. The Regenerator is a type of monster that can only be killed if you shoot specific spots on its body. You can see these spots with an infrared light, but if you shoot without that knowledge, you will notice that the regenerator, well, regenerates its limbs when you shoot it. As a result, these creatures may very well be immortal if you do not know how to deal with one and that is quite scary.

What makes the Regenerator even more of a fright is its random bursts of speed. The first time you encounter one, it appears to just shamble along like a normal, slow zombie…whom you know, makes it seem like not such an intimidating enemy. If it gets in range to attack you though, it can be frighteningly quick in its means of doing so. Not only that, the regenerator will randomly run at you and has an abnormally long reach. Really, if you do not know what to expect when fighting these things, it can be quite the scary experience.

The Iron Maiden is an expansion on this idea. The creature is slower than the typical regenerator, but has more spots on its body you need to shoot, if I remember correctly at least, and uses fucking spikes to attack you. If it gets close enough, it will pretty much impale you with these spikes. The first time you see it, the death is actually pretty unnerving.

These creatures deserve a lot of credit for being fairly scary in a game that really is not scary at all.



5-) Las Plagas - Las Plagas are a breed of parasitic organism that you see pop-up in Resident Evils 4 and 5 as the main villain of sorts. What it does is infect the host and makes the host basically lose their free will. They act like zombies, but they aren't actually zombies since the host is technically still alive…just robbed of their free will. This allows the host to use weapons and intelligent non-zombie strategies. Leon even makes sure to note after you kill your first plagas-infested person in Resident Evil 4 that what you just killed was not a zombie. You see, Mr. Kennedy has night terrors regarding his horrible experiences in raccoon city…

Probably the most memorable plagas infect individual would be the chainsaw guy. I think everybody remembers the first time they fought the big guy. The first thing you say is: "Oh. Fuck." Then you try to drop them with your shotgun you likely just acquired before you realized, "Oh my God, he is still moving." Then you probably got your head cut clean off. The first encounter with the chainsaw guy was definitely my most memorable moment from Resident Evil 4…

That and the initial Zerg rush Las Plagas/los Illuminados had on you in the village. I died on that part so many times my first time through it is actually pretty embarrassing. I would barricade myself in places and pick off Illuminados until my ammo ran out and then die a slow, horrible, horrible death. If I had been thinking, I would have realized just hanging out on the rooftops would have gotten the job on. Thinking is for losers though, pft. I was just too overwhelmed at the time!

They tried to replicate this in Resident Evil 5 and it was fun…but towards the end Resident Evil 5 just became a bad game, and I think the less that is said about it, the better. Especially since Resident Evil 4 is one of the finest games of all time.



4-) Nemesis - When I said one Tyrant variation made it onto this list, you had to know very well which one I was talking about. Nemesis, the main villain-like-figure of Resident Evil 3, never gave up on chasing Jill or the other members of S.T.A.R.S down. It was a relentless pursuit and the mother fucker just would not die. You could explode it, you could shoot it, you could convince it to slit its own wrists, whatever way you could think of to finally end the pursuit of Nemesis, it would find a way to survive.

That alone is pretty scary. The fact that Nemesis relentlessly pursues its targets and maintains a respectable amount of intelligence for a Tyrant is even more terrifying. Nemesis does not question his orders; he just tries to carry them out effectively. Until the very end of Resident Evil 3, Jill has to deal with Nemesis. Jill uses a high powered rail gun to put away the creature, but get this, it STILL isn't enough to kill Nemesis. As Jill leaves the room, the creature stirs. So, Jill channels her inner Revolver Ocelot and puts six-shots in whatever remains of its brain to put it away. Hey, it IS enough to kill anything that moves.

Nemesis is probably lower than some people would like him, but two of the creatures above him just freak me the fuck out and one of them is a zombie. I mean, really, you have to have the zombie somewhere on this list. It kind of is the basis of the franchise, ya know?



3-) Lickers - When I was younger and I saw advertisements for Resident Evil 2, the Lickers scared me more than perhaps anything else. Well, that and the big magazine advertisement for Clock Tower. You know the one that spread across multiple pages and read like a review? Fucking guy with giant scissors still freaks me out, I just don't get it. Looking back though, the licker probably is not THAT scary…but the kid in me is still horrified by this brute.

The Licker is a mutated variation of the Crimson Head. Crimson Heads are like regular zombies…but quicker. The Licker's differences are obviously its long as fuck tongue and the fact that it is completely blind. The Licker can tell where its prey is only by scent and sound. So when you see one in Resident Evil 2, if you just creep around it…you may get lucky.

If you fight one, well, good luck. The Licker has the ability to decapitate you with its ridiculously long tongue. It can also use the tongue as a whip-like-weapon to inflict light damage on you. Being attacked with a tongue is gross enough, but being decapitated by one? Now that is just going a step TOO far. The licker will also use its claws and teeth in attacking its foe.

I also hate how creepily silent a licker is. They tend to lurk along ceilings and such…and the only hint you have of their presence is their bones grinding against whatever surface they are on and a low hissing sound. It is a pretty, well, scary warning. If you have been surprised by a licker in Resident Evil, I imagine it would be a horrifying experience.

Lickers returned in Resident Evil 5 in the form of Licker Beta, but they are fucking lame looking in that one. No longer do they look like humans; they are like…lizard things with long tongues. They also lack their original stealth. They just kind of crawl along. More efficient? I guess maybe. Less scary? Yes. They are apparently still blind, but I call bullshit on that since I had a whole horde of them crawling towards me when I didn't so much as move. Whatever, Resident Evil 5 just ruins everything.



2-) Zombies - It's a zombie. If you have played a non-Resident Evil 4 or 5 Resident Evil, you are familiar with these crazy guys in the Resident Evil format. Obviously the idea of a zombie has been around far longer than the Resident Evil franchise, but these ARE your main baddies in the franchise, so of course they are going to be mentioned way the hell up on the list.

In the Resident Evil universe, a zombie is anything that has been exposed to the T-Virus that was not able to turn into a tyrant. So…most things. The zombies are relentless and only rely on their instincts. Mainly, they want to eat all the time. Resident Evil zombies don't actually need human flesh to survive, but they want it – so they have it. It is kind of creepy that a creature does not even need the flesh of humans to exist but still desires it. Yow.

R.E. zombie symptoms generally start with itchiness. If you are feeling abnormally itchy and you live in Raccoon City, you probably want to sort out your estate. Also, the means of transformation can vary. You can become a zombie hours after you are infected or days after. It'd kind of suck knowing you are going to turn…but hanging on for a few extra days.

Interestingly, sufferers of the T-Virus can witness neurosis prior to dieing. Necrosis is the name given to the unnatural death of cells and living flesh. One of the more infamous diaries in Resident Evil history depicted the tale of a researcher slowly transforming into a zombie. It detailed him scratching a chunk of flesh from his arm. That is…really creepy. I think they have tried to copy the scheme for this diary in most every other Resident Evil game. It is always creepy, even in Resident Evil 5.

So yeah. Zombies. Everybody fucking knows what a zombie is. So there you go.



1-) William Birkin is the main antagonist of Resident Evil 2. He is able to develop the G-Virus in Umbrella laboratories using Umbrella funds to do so. For whatever reason he wants to hold onto this virus for himself, but Umbrella agents just aren't about to let this happen. Why shouldn't they get a piece of the action? Birkin was an Umbrella employee and was only able to create the virus as part of his job. Without Umbrella, there would be no G-Virus. Whatever though, Birkin refuses to give up the virus so Umbrella sends agents out to take it from him. BY FORCE. Out of fear, Birkin accidentally drops a cup of coffee and the agents open fire on him. You know, because the coffee made a loud noise. In order to avoid death, Birkin injects himself with the G-virus and turns himself into a horrible freak of nature. Birkin then kills the agents and somehow, in the process, knocks some of the T-Virus into Raccoon City's drainage system. This would cause Raccoon City's outbreak in Resident Evil 2.

Yes, that's right, Resident Evil 2 was caused by the knocking over of a cup of coffee. Bravo Umbrella, bravo. I guess if Birkin hadn't been so greedy with his G-Virus, none of this would have happened, but hey! He needed that credit, dammit! This zombie outbreak and transformation of Birkin leads to his wife wondering around the underground secret Umbrella base. I think she might be trying to kill the mutated Birkin – for a reason that will become apparent soon– but it's never really explained. She just stumbles into our heroes and talks about how great her husband is before she tries shooting them and misses every time.

Also wondering around is Birkin's daughter, Sherry. Sherry was sent by her mother to the zombie and licker infested police station because it was apparently safe there. Uh…okay. Anyhow, Claire and Sherry form a bond throughout Resident Evil 2 and Claire is tasked with protecting her, you know, since her mother is too busy stumbling around the underground. Unfortunately, Sherry gets away from Claire all the damn time. This is not good, because she's being pursued by a monster who she thinks attacked her father.

The thing is, the monster IS her father. You see, the monster has an uncontrollable desire to implant his embryos in things. He does this successfully to Police Chief Irons, but apparently his embryos are only compatible with beings that share the same DNA structure. Wait a minute; Sherry has the same DNA structure! You are reading this correctly, the antagonist of Resident Evil 2 wants to infect a 12-year old girl – who happens to be his daughter - with his embryos in order to spawn other spawns of Satan. That is just insane.

So not only does Birkin's transformations get more and more ridiculous as you proceed through the game – sorry, I just don't get the point of a fucking gigantic eye in your shoulder – but he actually manages to get his embryos INTO SHERRY. I believe this was passed from some sort of tentacle to mouth ritual. This is just…unheard of. I know we joked about Chris and Claire earlier. We even assumed stuff about Alexia and Alfred (Wait, why do they all have the same first letter? Jerk parents), but we never got any concrete proof. THIS is actual incest…and it's just wrong.

Seriously, I can't think about Birkin's role in Resident Evil 2 without being creeped out. That's just ridiculous. I'm just glad Leon was able to do away with him because, really, the less tentacle rape incest the series has the better, you know? I guess Capcom really likes those kinds of scenarios, huh? Birkin is by far the best monster the Resident Evil series has created.



Well, that's it for this week. I'll see you in December!

-til the crossroads