Nintendophiles 01.06.10 : A New Year in Gaming
Posted by Jacob Lopez on 01.06.2010
It's the first Nintendophiles of the new year. Jacob Lopez is here to bring you the Nintendo news (and commentary) of the week.
Jay is back in for for this week's edition of Nintendophiles, the column that still has no designated writer. He had the pleasure of being emailed by Ramon just hours before the column was set to go live. Being the good sport that he is, Jay decided he would give it a go.
First, a couple of tidbits:
~ Yatterman-2 confirmed for Tatsunoko Vs. Capcom
~Mark Salmela is Happy At least he should be. A terrible FMV game, just like those old western shooters by American Laser Games has been released for the Wii. It's only five bucks. He said something was missing, but since I don't listen to half of what he says, I am not sure what he was talking about. Either way, it's an FMV game, and a game only a mother—or The Salms—could love.
Now for more stuff you may--or may not--have known:
I found this image when I googled Satan. It was just too good to pass up.
Videogames Were Invented by the Devil
~ Videogames Were Invented by the Devil Maria Jo Fisher who is actually the real life mother of Sam Fisher of the Splinter Cell Series*, and angry mom blogger, recently wrote a blog post in which she states that she believes videogames were created by Satan. Apparently, playing games turns kids into "drooling, glassy-eyed stooges."
She then goes on to write about her lonely childhood and how much she enjoyed reading. She said that through her reading she was able to learn a bunch of shit and get a job writing for a living.
I actually had a similar experience, but it went like this: I played videogames, decided to write about them, then got asked by my local paper's publisher to come aboard. Now I also get paid to ride around with cops, go to football games and play the occasional videogame. I also travel to Los Angeles to play games and meet people who play big roles in major companies and throw a quick blurb about it in the paper. I am only half her age. Not bad for a drooling, glassy-eyed stooge.
Oh! Don't forget to thank Satan for creating the wonderful form of interactive entertainment we call videogames.
*That part is actually 100% bullshit.
Love that sly smile?
Nintendo Happy with Their Holiday Sales Figures
The NPD data won't be available until January 14th, but Nintendo's internal numbers indicate strong numbers for the month of December.
Nintendo bigman himself, Satoru Iwata announced the US numbers straight from Japan.
According to Nintendo's estimates, the Wii sold over 3 million units in the states alone during the month of December.
The DS line, which includes the DSLite and the DSi, is estimated to have, set all-time system sales records for 2009.
Nintendo's numbers also indicate strong sales for New Super Mario Bros. Wii, which launched on Novemebr 15 is approaching 4 million units sold. The also designated a sentence (or two) of their press release to talk up their other hot holiday titles like Wii Fit Plus and Spirit Tracks. Actually, Spirit Tracks deserves to be talked up. I am working my way through it right now, and you probably should too.
Source: Nintendo Press Release
I'm back, bitches!
ESPN: EA to Announce NBA Jam for Wii
Remember that Wii game from EA Sports? Well, if ESPN's sources are to be believed, EA will be resurrecting the NBA Jam series. This time the game will come to the Wii.
What we do know comes straight from ESPN:
- It will be a retail game.
- Mark Turmell has been consulting the development team over at EA's Vancouver studio.
- Tim Kitzrow A.K.A. the voice of NBA Jam is also on board.
Of course, all of this comes from their sources, so we can't be 100% sure that EA has aqcuired the rights to the franchise and decided to release it on the Wii. I, however, am willing to bet it's true.
The following is lifted directly from Nintendo's Weekly email:
Nintendo DSiWare
Trajectile Publisher: Nintendo Players: 1 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) Price: 500 Nintendo DSi Points Description:Trajectile is a puzzle game that's as much about firepower as it is about brainpower, requiring you to line up your shot and launch a flurry of missiles at enemy targets. Three types of missiles are at your disposal, each one with its own characteristics - but all of them can bounce off walls on their path to smash, blast or drill through enemies and blocks. Along the way, you'll find item blocks just waiting to be destroyed so that you can obtain special power-ups ... and cause even more destruction. Be careful though, as missile type and position are predetermined and you get only a limited number of launches per stage. Complete multiple classes containing numerous individual stages, earning medals when you clear stages in fewer than the given number of turns. Are you ready to take aim at becoming a Trajectile master?
Animal Puzzle Adventure Publisher: Aksys Games Players: 1 ESRB Rating: E10+ (Everyone 10 and Older) - Mild Suggestive Themes Price: 500 Nintendo DSi Points Description:Animal Puzzle Adventure is a simple puzzle game where you have to lead various animals to their respective barns placed on the map, while avoiding pitfalls and cliffs and using the objects on the field to your advantage. There are 10 stages per level with a total of five levels, creating 50 stages in all. After clearing a stage, you unlock a piece of a photo. Once you clear all 10 stages in a level, the wallpaper for that level becomes unlocked and you can then view it in the gallery. With so many puzzles to unravel, you'll find yourself immersed in the puzzle-riffic world of Animal Puzzle Adventure.
Hell's Kitchen Vs. Publisher: Ludia Players: 1-2 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) Price: 800 Nintendo DSi Points Description:Hell's Kitchen Vs. is based on the U.S. TV phenomenon where world-renowned chef Gordon Ramsay puts aspiring chefs through rigorous culinary tests. The game recreates the show's pressure-cooker atmosphere as two players battle head-to-head in an arcade-style kitchen challenge. Try to conquer your opponent in each time-management test, while taking the heat of Gordon Ramsay judging and rating your performance at every stage of the game.
WiiWare
Heron: Steam Machine Publisher: Triangle Studios Players: 1-4 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) Price: 500 Wii Points Description:Heron: Steam Machine is a game about a factory where rubber duckies are being produced by a large steam engine. On this steam engine, there are four different gauges which you will have to watch carefully. By connecting the pipes, you will earn points and relieve some of the pressure, keeping the machine running just a little bit longer. If one of the gauges reaches its maximum, the machine will eventually blow up, and the game is over. If you were lucky enough to achieve a high score, make sure you enter your name in the list so other players can compete with you. In Multiplayer, you are able to cooperate with friends in maintaining the steam machine. When you play with two, three or four players, the screen is divided into sections with different background colors. Each player is able to solve his or her own part of the puzzle. Players are restricted to their own section of the screen, so you will have to work together to make the pipes fit properly. (Additional accessories are required for multiplayer play and are sold separately.)
Pub Darts Publisher: Big Blue Bubble Inc. Players: 1-4 ESRB Rating: E (Everyone) - Alcohol Reference Price: 500 Wii Points Description:Pub Darts is a simple darts simulation which uses the Wii Remote controller's unique controls to mimic dart-throwing motion. The game is set in a local pub where the players will settle in to play some of their favorite dart games, including 501, Cricket, Around the Clock, Killers and Baseball. Controls function just like throwing a real dart. Players are able to create their own personal profiles, including selecting their avatar image from a collection of creative characters and the design they would like displayed on the dart flights.
Fast Draw Showdown Publisher: Digital Leisure Inc. Players: 1-2 ESRB Rating: T (Teen) - Alcohol Reference, Violence Price: 500 Wii Points Description: When it comes to fast draw there're only two types of people: the quick ... and the dead! Now you have the chance to find out where you stand, or lie, as the case may be. You'll go up against the best quick draws in the business, including one of the world's fastest, Wes Flowers. Unholster your Wii Remote controller and show 'em who the fastest draw really is, in this live-action shooter. You can even take on a friend in multiplayer modes, and see which of you has the quickest draw. You'll need some serious speed and awesome accuracy to take on these gunslingers ... so get ready for some real fast draw action.
Virtual Console
Final Fight 3 Original platform: Super NES Publisher: Capcom USA Players: 1-2 ESRB Rating: T (Teen) - Animated Violence Price: 800 Wii Points Description: Following the defeat and subsequent disappearance of the Mad Gear Gang, a small group known only as "Skull Cross" is responsible for a new uprising of vandalism, terrorism and death. The government of Metro City is at a complete loss. Metro City's mayor, Mike Haggar, and Guy are prepared to take on the new gang, but before they can act, the door bursts open, revealing Lucia, Cody's old friend. "Metro City is under attack!" she shouts, "Skull Cross is loose, and they've got something up their sleeves." But before any of them can move, a mysterious man appears in the doorway. "My name is Dean," he says. "I know Skull Cross inside-and-out, and I hate them more than anything. I can help you, and you can help me. We must go!" All four fighters vow to bring Skull Cross down. It will be a tough assignment, and may even be their final fight!
While your here, drop by some of our other columns and see what those wonderful people have to say.
Lee Price delivers Retronomicon as he looks at Sonic The Hedgehog. (The "The" in Sonic's name was actually trademarked in caps as part of his name. Not sure what ever happened to that, I should look into it again sometime)
