Leveled Up News Report: 01.15.10

Posted by Joshua Richey on 01.15.2010

Splinter Cells gets delayed...again, Mass Effect and Assassin's Creed are already working on sequels, and Microsoft has unveiled yet another service that you'll never use. All of that and more in the debut edition of the Leveled Up News Report.



Oh hey.

My name is Joshua Richey, and this little piece of Internet poontang is what I like to call the Leveled Up News Report. Here I'll be discussing games of the video variety. Now I'm going to warn you, this column is lengthy, so you may want to go take a piss right now. What's even more impressive than the length of this column is that, despite the amount of words I use, I somehow manage to say nothing at all.

I want my column to be different than the others that you would read on this site. To do that, I'm basically going to throw as much shit as I can against the wall and see what sticks. Not literally, of course. I'm going to share my opinions on some news, I'm going to review a game, I'm going to rant on a thing or two, and then I'm going to make sexual advances on your sister. I'm going to do all that while also trying to be slightly less annoying than all the damn pop-up's on this site.

So enough of the teasing, let's get to some news.

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GamePro Magazine May Not Suck Anymore
John Davison, who recently sold his start-up, parent-targeted gaming site What They Play to IGN, will assume the role of executive vice president of content for the company's editorial initiatives. The veteran editor told Kotaku he hopes to "reboot" one of gaming's oldest editorial brands. (via Kotaku)

GamePro magazine hasn't been relevant in years. I think my last copy of the magazine had Earthworm Jim on the cover and reviews written by Johnny Ballgame and Scary Larry. That must have been back in the early 90's or so.

Anyhow, now that former EGM editor, John Davison, is taking over the magazine, I'm actually looking quite forward to checking it out. For anyone that's familiar with John's work, you already know how awesome he is. I wish him the best of luck, because the current state of video game magazines is dreadful.

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Snake? SNAKE? SNAKE?!?! NOOOOOOOO!!!!
It looks like a Metal Gear Solid movie won't be happening for a long time. Collider caught up with producer Michael De Luca recently and asked him about the status of the Metal Gear Solid movie. Unfortunately De Luca didn't have any good news. "I don't think it's going to move forward because I got the sense that there may not be enough of a coordinated will at this point on the side of certain parties to see a movie get made." As in, Konami, the creator of the game, isn't that interested in any of Sony's ideas. (via FirstShowing.net)

Once you get over the initial disappointment that you'll probably never see Solid Snake on the Big Screen, you should begin to realize that it's probably a blessing in disguise. We all love the Metal Gear franchise, but, seriously, what were the chances that it would have been done right? I don't have a whole lot of faith in Hollywood these days.

Had a Metal Gear movie come out and been anything less than epic, it would have been a bummer and wouldn't have done the franchise any favors.

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Mass Effect 3 and Assassins Creed 3 Already Balls Deep Into Development
Casey Hudson, the man at BioWare in charge of the Mass Effect franchise, told IGN that "We are already at work on Mass Effect 3, building the first bits of the story, putting that together. We always wanted to make sure that we got the entire trilogy of games done within this console's lifecycle. We didn't want to take forever with it." (via Softpedia)

Ubisoft's new Assassin's Creed game (which we're taking a punt on being AC3) will again star Italian hero Ezio, Ubisoft has confirmed - and will be created by the same studios behind AC2. CVG reported yesterday that Ubisoft was hard at work on a sequel, which the company is due to release before March 2011. A Christmas release is looking likely. (via CVG)

I know that there was like 23,000 people working on Assassin's Creed II, but could they really be releasing another game that quickly? CVG says that it could be out as soon as this Christmas! That's crazy. I just hope these games aren't being rushed. They're probably my two favorite franchises at the moment and I would much rather see them take their time and make a stellar game.

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MOST SURPRISING NEWS EVER: 'Splinter Cell: Conviction' Delayed Again
In advance of announcing next month's final third quarter 2009-2010 financials, game publisher Ubisoft announced that it will again postpone Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell Conviction, this time until April. Originally planned for a late 2007 release, the game is now expected to hit the stores in April 2010. (via USA Today)

This delay isn't as bad as some of the others that we've seen with this game, but the fact that its been delayed again still makes me scream. The last Splinter Cell game came out in 2006. You're killing me, Ubi. Conviction has been one of my most highly anticipated games for what feels like a 10 years now. I guess I can suck it up and wait until April, but if it's delayed again...man, I'm going to go bitch about it on the internet.



Netflix Coming To Wii This Spring
Nintendo of America Inc. and Netflix, Inc. today announced an agreement that will allow Netflix members who are also owners of Nintendo's Wii™ home console to instantly watch thousands of movies and TV episodes streamed from Netflix directly to their TVs. Netflix is scheduled to go live on the Wii console this spring in the United States at no additional cost to Netflix members who have a plan starting at $8.99 a month, a Wii console and a broadband Internet connection. (via Niintendo)

Wii owners rejoice! You're finally going to have a reason to turn your Wii on come this Spring. I've re-read that last sentence six times now and it still makes me laugh. All joking aside, this is a good deal for both parties. For those of you that don't own a 360 or a PS3, and didn't have access to streaming Netflix, prepare to have your world shaken to its very core.

I give these next-gen systems a lot of shit for having features that nobody uses, but Netflix isn't one of them. Hell, I'd say that since Netflix streaming was released onto the 360, I've used it more for movies than I have games. It's a great deal, and that added with the current install base of Wii owners makes this a huge deal for both Netflix and Nintendo.

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Microsoft Unveils 'Game Room' At CES
Xbox Live Game Room essentially allows you to create your own arcade, offering titles from many classic developers such as Atari, Intellivison, and Konami. When the service goes live in late March, 30 titles will be immediately available, with five to seven new games being released each week. (via CNET)

I don't want to sound like Mr. Negative, but I'm not that excited for this thing. I like the concept, but I'm not going to pay for old Atari and Intellvision games. Now if they could somehow offer up some more recent arcade hits, like Crazy Taxi or Hydro Thunder, that would be a completely different story. But if they stick with Asteroids and Pitfall, this will just end up being another useless Xbox 360 feature.

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Weekly Review

Assassin's Creed II

If you're like me, you played through the original Assassins Creed and walked away saying 'ugh'. It wasn't necessarily a bad game, it just wasn't all that it was hyped up to be. The game got so repetitious after a while that it became annoying and a task to even finish.

Luckily Assassins Creed 2 fixes most of the problems. Not all of them, but most. You're no longer running around saving citizens and ease dropping on conversations. The game's story offers you more varied missions, a better combat system and more scenic setting. Oh, and you can now swim.

The only bad thing I can say about this game is that the "main" storyline, the one about Desmond and the animus, is such a buzzkill. Why can't this game just be about an assassin that runs around Italy killing corrupt church leaders? That's the fun part of this game. The whole animus thing isn't needed, and it makes for a lame ending. People that have beaten it will know what I'm talking about.

All that aside, Assassin's Creed II was one of the, if not the, best games of 2009. I give it 5 cannoli's out of 5.

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Weekly Rant

Gaming Resolutions for 2010

Go to E3

Going to E3 has been a dream of mine since the mid-90's. As a kid I would go through issues of EGM or Nintendo Power and just drool over the new games that were shown for the first time. The biggest perk of this gig at 411Mania is that I'm finally in the position to go to my first E3.

Catchup on backlog

I did a lot of gaming in 2009, but apparently not enough. There are still so many games that were released last year that I've still either not finished or not started at all. One of my goals for 2010 is to go back finish that backlog while at the same time not ignoring the 2010 releases. Here's an example of my backlog just going off the top of my head:

Nearly finished
Killzone 2
Dead Space
Metal Gear Solid 4
Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories
Fallout 3

Not even started
Resident Evil 5
Red Faction Guerrilla
Left 4 Dead 2
Uncharted 2
Borderlands

Get out of my gaming comfort zone

I tend to play a lot of action/adventure games, first-person shooters, and sports games. If a game doesn't fit into one of those genres, then I don't really give it the time of day. In 2010 I'd like to change that. I want to sit down with a game like Final Fantasy 13 or Diablo 3 and enjoy it like so many others do. It's just a matter of getting outside of your comfort zone, and hopefully in 2010 I do just that.

Play more multiplayer

It's extremely difficult to be decent at multiplayer games any more. It's not that I suck at them, it's just that I have a job, a social life, and other hobbies that take up a lot of my time. So when I finally find the time to hop online with Modern Warfare 2, I'm just completely butt-raped by a bunch of kids that do nothing but play Modern Warfare 2. It's really bad for my self esteem.

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What I've Been Playing

Metal Gear Solid 4 - Guns of the Patriots

I finally got a Playstation 3 this past Christmas, and one of the first things I did was immediately start playing through the Sony exclusives. I played through Uncharted (the first one, not the second) and walked away quite unimpressed. It just seems like that game got worse as it went on. After beating that, I borrowed Killzone 2 from my friend Chupacabra. Now I played those games first because I was wanting to save Metal Gear Solid 4 for last. It's my favorite franchise, and I can't even begin to tell you how frustrating its been to not be able to play through it while others could. I assumed I was going to be blown away by MGS4, so that's why I've held off on playing it. It's kind of like when you push all the marshmallows in your Lucky Charms aside so that you can eat them last.

Now I'm only in Act 2 - about to fight with Laughing Octopus - but I gotta tell ya, I've not been as blown away as I hoped I would be. Act 1 just didn't feel like a Metal Gear game. I don't know if it was the wide open environments, the new menu system or what it was; it just didn't feel right. It just seems that despite the fact that you've got a camo suit, there's less of an emphasis put on stealth. Hopefully that was just Act 1 and things start picking up, which I heard it does.

Also, I've played through all of the Metal Gear games, so I'm used to the games ridiculous storyline and cheesy moments. But I'm finding it harder and harder to sit through these scenes like the one where you run into Meryl and her team for the first time. Kojima, I get it. Johnny has irritable bowels, you don't have to keep making references to it over and over again during your 20-minute scene. It was mildly amusing the first time. The twelfth time, not so much.


Mass Effect

With Mass Effect 2 coming out in about two weeks, I've been going back and playing through the first Mass Effect again. I've beaten the game twice before, but I wasn't able to spare Rex's life in either go through. If you're able to spare his life and talk some sense into him during that heated moment in the first game, you'll see Rex in Mass Effect 2 - though I've not heard how long of an appearance that is.

So when I finally get Mass Effect 2 I should have three Shepard's to play through the game as. That's not good news for my social life.


God of War III (demo)

I got the E3 demo of God of War 3 with my Blu-Ray copy of District 9. I've been playing it a lot and trying to decide whether I like it or not. It's basically the same God of War, just with better graphics. Is that enough? I want to say "yes", but weren't we hoping for some huge leap this generation?

Or maybe I should just STFU and enjoy it.

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Are you a sexless nerd? Do you want everyone around you to know you're a sexless nerd? Well have I got the sweater vest for you!

I'm kidding. I happen to think that this Super Mario Sweater Vest is amazing. Sure it looks ridiculous on this kid, but if P. Diddy or Bob Saget were seen in public with this thing, everyone would want one.

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So that should just about wrap it up for my first News Report. What did you guys think? What changes should I make? Give me some time to work on the kinks on this thing. I need to see what works and what doesn't. Hopefully it wasn't a complete epic failure and you'll come back next Friday to check me out again...

...oh, speaking of epic failures.



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