The Silicon Valley 10 & 1 03.03.10: Top 10 Most Disappointing Movies Based on Video Games!
Posted by Steve Gustafson on 03.03.2010
From Doom and Hitman to Mortal Kombat and Final Fantasy, 411’s Steve Gustafson ranks his Top 10 Worst Movies Based On Video Games! Plus, Selma Hayek is your &1 Hot Chick of the Week! It's all in the latest edition of The Silicon Valley 10 & 1!
Hello and welcome back to The Silicon Valley 10 & 1!. My name is Steve Gustafson and this is the spot for a mix of all things game and pop culture. A place to complain, debate, and throw in your suggestions. Whatever you want, I don't judge. But comment at your own risk!
But before we do, make sure you're not missing any Steve at 411mania! Check me out: Monday:Big Screen Bulletin. EXCLUSIVE interview with George Sirois! Wednesday:The Silicon Valley 10 & 1. Top 10 DC Comic Characters That Should Be Video Games! Wonder Twin powers...ACTIVATE! Saturday & Sunday:The Hollywood 5 & 1. Marilyn Monroe vs. Lindsay Lohan. Plus the usual. If you missed it, shame on you!
You all crack me up. Seriously, some of the comments are hilarious, some sad, but all are appreciated. Keep them coming and keep the emails coming as well (stevethegoose@gmail.com).
Let's take a look at...
You take the time to comment and vent. I take the time to read and laugh. Let's take the time to look back at what people were saying about last weeks Top 10!
10.kurruption:If you involve the vertigo line as well then Preacher should have his own game, along with blood, guts and f-bombs. The wondertwins? Really, the co-op would suck ass when one gets to change into tigers and other beasts and the other player becomes a puddle of piss or a bucket of water!
9.Guest#9850:Green Lantern needs a movie too. So many people would watch it.
8.guest318:the current blue beatle. he has powers similar to spawn. the entire green latern corp should have their own game. it can like marvel ultimate alliance.
7.j boykin:Solid list, though I don't know a thing about DC characters...I think there aren't a lot of strong DC games because their characters just don't have the same exposure that Marvel characters do, so making the games sell would be a lot harder. And I agree with Jim on the Superman point; even though I f***ing hate Superman, he deserves a game that doesn't suck. Something to remedy the screeching terror of Superman 64. But if they put Robin in Arkham 2 someone's gonna have to pay.
6.Michael:Who'd want to play as the Wonder Twins? Imagine one player getting the power to turn into a wildcat and the other the ability to transform into...a sponge.
5.Mekt Ranzz:Long live the Legion.
4.Todd Vote:'Superman has had several great games." Dude, you can't be serious with a line like that. Superman has had one good game. Superman Returns was a step in the right direction for the character, but still needs a lot of work. Read this weeks 411 Games Top 5 to see which one was the good Superman game. *Cheap Plug*
3.Guest1976:HOLY $%&@, someone else on this planet is into DOCTOR FATE! There were only two comic books I read and collected in my youth, and they were Iron Man and FREAKIN' DOCTOR FATE! I doubt this game would ever be made, but it would be awesome.
2.Scotty Flamingo:I'd hate to have to read your pull list. Your taste in comics is crap. Legion as #2? Over Flash and Superman (who has yet to receive a worthy game)? Your Atom and Green Lantern ideas are great though.As goofy as he is, I think Plasticman would make for a fun game.
1.whoa420:Maybe we don't need more characters in games, but traditional characters in different roles. How about Batman; Red Rain? Kingdom Come? Crisis? btw they really screwed the pooch when they didn't come out w matching video games for Death of Superman and Knight's End.
Thanks again for everyone who left a comment or sent an email. Let's get to it!
I mentioned in a previous column that the "movies based on video games" genre has yet to find the winning formula for a really good/successful film. They've come close but don't have anything to compare to the "movies based on comic book" selection. It's only a matter of time. Someone is bound to get it right and lead the way someday!
I purposely label this as "disappointing" and not "worst". These are all movies we've rooted for and they've missed the mark. NOTE: I was harsher on newer movies because they should know better. They've had more years to study other genres to get it correct and yet, still failed. Let's look at the...
Top 10 Most Disappointing Movies Based on Video Games!
Another NOTE: Regular reader's know I'm not a fan of horror movies. Too much of the "been there, done that" for me. Hence you won't see any on my list because I avoided it. Hey, I'll leave it to YOU to discuss in the comment section below!
And now...The LIST!
10. Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
On paper this should have been a no-lose situation. I re-watched it for this article and it's the little things that make this movie fall apart. The ending. The villain. The lack of tension. I never cared about Lara Croft. The dialogue. All small things that added up to this movie being a disappointment.
In a way this is a good example of the type of movie we see regularly now. Style over substance. Croft is just eye candy for fanboys to enjoy without having to worry about a weak plot or solving the problem. I still remember that while this movie got torn apart in the media, it got a surprisingly positive one from Roger Ebert. He awarded the film three out of four stars and said, "Lara Croft Tomb Raider elevates goofiness to an art form. Here is a movie so monumentally silly, yet so wondrous to look at, that only a churl could find fault." Well, call me a churl.
9. Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within
When this first came out I thought the timing and marketing was the main reason for its failure. Watching it again, it's a little more than that.
Take away the beautiful animation and you're left with a bare plot and little reason to feel involved with this movie. I hate to use this word, but it's boring. The Final Fantasy franchise is anything BUT boring and you wouldn't get that impression by watching this movie. It would like dating a really hot model who is in a coma. Great to look at but not much to do.
8. Postal
I can just say this movie was directed by Uwe Boll and that will say it all. This is a video game adaptation in the slightest way possible. I got the bootleg of this and I feel I overpaid for it. A recently laid-off loser teams up with his cult-leading uncle to steal a peculiar bounty of riches from their local amusement park; somehow, the recently arrived Taliban have a similar focus, but a far more sinister intent. It's so much worse than this.
I'm not suggesting you watch this movie. It's not worth it. But what is worth noting is the marketing around it. It showed how out-of-touch Boll is with reality. From his cry of distributors being afraid to show it to it's limited opening one day after Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, which led to Boll heavily announcing that his film would "destroy" Indy at the box office; the hyping for this disaster was more entertaining than the movie.
7. Doom
Doom is another one that had HUGE potential to be a hit. Space Marines are sent to investigate strange events at a research facility on a distant planet but find themselves at the mercy of genetically enhanced killing machines. This could have been great. Could have. Yeah, they changed the plot from the game, but it wasn't as bad as it could be. But it went downhill from there. The action was limp, especially when you compare it to the game it came from. I almost wondered if they put the Doom name on it so they could use the first-person visual in the movie.
6. Max Payne
Are you sensing a pattern here? Most of the movies on this list stumble with the changes they made from the transition from game to big screen. I'm not a stickler but I want the movie to keep the strong points, the spirit of the game. I want to get the same excitement watching in the theater as I do sitting in my living room or bathroom (Don't ask) playing the game.
Max Payne. It's got style. Too much style. No direction. I have it on now and it's hard to pinpoint what's the biggest problem. From the changes to the flat performances...nothing clicks in this movie. As soon as it ends, I've forgotten about it. What was I talking about again?
5. Mortal Kombat Annihilation
The first Mortal Kombat made over $70 million, so you knew a sequel was coming. But nothing, I repeat NOTHING, could prepare us for this. I've never met anyone who enjoyed this movie and I will refuse to believe anyone in the comment section who says they did. Where to start? The plot? With what you can understand (The evil Shau-Kahn uses his powers to open the portholes between his dimension and Earth so the heroes have to stop him with Mortal Kombat) is horrible. A simpleton would be insulted. The characters? While the first did a good job giving some shine to the cast, this one took that formula, dumped it, and crammed as many characters as possible. Ridiculous. How about the game to movie transition? Too many inconsistencies between the storylines of the films and the games to mention. Again, the first one wasn't perfect but they kept it simple so even non-gamers could get into it. This one was a mess. FINISH HIM!
4. Street Fighter
In terms of dollars, this movie was a success. In terms of common sense...dead on arrival. A murky plot that was hard to follow, acting that was laughable (EXCEPT from the always solid Raúl Juliá!), and fight scenes that were lacking, to say the least. At the time it came out I was more focused on, "WOW! A movie based on my favorite game!" Now it's like, "Man, this movie is lame based on that game I used to play back in the day."
3. Super Mario Brothers
The INFAMOUS Super Mario Brothers! This put back video game based movie 50 years! 100 years! The film follows Mario, played by Bob Hoskins, and his brother Luigi, played by John Leguizamo, and their adventures in a land ruled by King Koopa, Mr. Dennis Hopper himself. Darker and much different than the game, this movie is best forgotten by all who have seen it. The storyline is weird just to be weird. And the changes from the game are so...I don't know how to say it...unnecessary. And it's cheesy in the bad way. I have this on VHS and I can't even make it through the whole thing. Let's just move on.
2. Street Fighter: Legend of Chun Li
Ugh. I refuse to watch this again. The worst part? I was so hyped to see this! I thought, "I think they got it this time! I think this might be good!" So wrong...so...wrong.
Do I need to go over why this fails? Dull. Lousy. Generic. Watching this movie was a pain. How does this kind of movie get made? Did everyone involved think, "We're doing it! We got this!" Kristin Kreuk is hot but not hot enough to save this wreck of a movie. I never thought it was possible that a movie could be so bad that it makes another bad movie look better.
1. Hitman
I left the theater after seeing this in utter shock. I can't stand this movie. Horrible. No one will ever be able to convince me otherwise. I love Hitman. This movie took a great game and made it a paint-by-numbers action that doesn't even get that right. What should have been a layered, thrilling movie was turned into tripe.
The sequence at the start in which children are receiving tattoos and training is actual footage taken from James Cameron's series Dark Angel What the? I wanted to walk out at several points from the inane plot and just total lack of respect this movie showed it's source. You can easily get me riled up by trying to defend this movie but you will never...EVER...and I mean EVER...be able to change my mind on this. Horrible.
What about you? What makes YOUR list of Most Disappointing Movies Based on Video Games!?
Gaming has come a long way. From the dark basements it has come up and been embraced by young and old. Man and woman. And super hot chicks! Let's take a look at Salma Hayek!
It's Salma Hayek. How can you lose? Yes, I know I try to keep the babes movie related but she's been on my mind a lot lately. Can you blame me? Just enjoy...
Be honest! How many of you would still go for it, even with the beard? Don't front!
Silent Hill should be on the list. That was terrible.
Posted By: jeremy (Guest) on March 02, 2010 at 11:11 PM
Have to disagree with you on Hitman. I loved Hitman, and proudly own a copy of it. My little brother who is a bit of a movie snob(only watches critically acclaimed movies) fell asleep in the theater, however my other bro(whose a stoner) and my dad(whose a preacher) and I enjoyed it. I consider it a great movie, it's not Star Wars, but it isn't the street fighter movies or the resident evil movies(Now they suck).
Posted By: Nuttly (Guest) on March 02, 2010 at 11:19 PM
Final Fantasy has to be Number 1. It almost killed the company. They haven't been the same since either. Square-Enix has basically had a lost decade. Final Fantasy 10 and 12 did alright but that's it. The Bouncer was a huge flop and all their 360 rpgs disappointed.
The movie was cutting edge but since then Square has been anything but.
Posted By: Jim (Guest) on March 02, 2010 at 11:25 PM
Three points:
1. I love how you're writing a top 10 list, which is based completely on your own opinion, and then several times throughout the article you make mention of just how little other people's opinions mean to you ("I refuse to believe anyone in the comment section who says they enjoyed this," "You will never ever change my mind","You can easily get me riled up by trying to defend this movie," etc.).
2. You laugh at how stupid the plot of MK:A was, yet you seem to forget that the plot you described was actually the plot of the 3rd MK game. You then go on to complain how changes from game to movie really piss you off. Hmm. I'm not saying MK:A was a good movie (it was far from it), I'm just saying you could have some consistency.
3. In my opinion, if you watched the horror based ones, many of these would be bumped off. Alone in the Dark, House of the Dead, Bloodrayne, and RE:Apocalypse are all much worse than FF:Spirits Within, Tomb Raider, and Max Payne. Although I realize you titled the column "Most Dissappointing," I feel you wrote it as if it was a "10 Worst" list.
Anyway, this is all my opinion, so I understand if you disagree.
Posted By: SeanAltly (Guest) on March 02, 2010 at 11:28 PM
you forgot Bloodrayne
Posted By: jp (Guest) on March 02, 2010 at 11:45 PM
Hitman is worthy of celluloid, sheerly for the gratuitous Olga Kurylenko nude scenes.
Posted By: jrpaper (Guest) on March 02, 2010 at 11:47 PM
what about far-cry?
Posted By: Guest#7381 (Guest) on March 02, 2010 at 11:52 PM
Great list!
The only movie on there I thought wasn't bad at all was Final Fantasy. True, the story was weak, but the visuals were stunning. Plus Ming-Na is hot even as a bunch of pixels.
Those Tomb Raider flicks are so damn empty. Jolie is fun, but theres nothing else at all. Watch U2's "Elevation" music video instead: it packs in more fun, thrills and coolness than both the Croft movies combined.
Only thing interesting about those two movies now is the leading man in the first movie is Daniel Craig, and thats Gerald Butler in the second. Geez, Butler can't catch a break, huh?
Certainly wouldn't say most disappointing, because I expected crap, but the worst vid game movies ever are Alone In The Dark and House Of The Dead. At least Bloodrayne had a pretty decent Billy Zane cameo. Haven't seen Postal yet, but I'm sure its as bad as you'd expect.
Posted By: Earl (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 12:03 AM
Solid list buddy, but I have to disagree on Final Fantasy, and to an extent, Tomb Raider. While niether are particularly good movies, they could EASILY be replaced and bumped up the list with Bloodrayne, Silent Hill, Far-Cry, or the third Resident Evil film that I can't even remember the title of properly.
Posted By: S. Masters (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 12:23 AM
God bless that first Salma Heyek pic
Posted By: Guest#9732 (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 12:33 AM
Far Cry was made by Uwe Bowll
You were never disappointed with his movies since you knew they were going to be terrible
Posted By: Martyn (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 12:33 AM
If there is one thing that separates Hitman & Doom from the rest of the pack it is this: they had the tenacity to shun the teen to preteen viewing audience by going with the R-rating, rather than pander to their constituents. I applaud them for that at least. I don't recognize Postal as an actual movie, merely for the fact it was a straight to DVD abortion.
Notable omissions:
Bloodrayne - hey, at least we got to see Kristana Lokken nude. Too bad she's a lesbian.
Tomb Raider 2 - Even Gerard Butler couldn't save that train wreck.
Double Dragon - how in the name of all that is holy did this film not crack the top ten?! Could've even made a case for #1!!!!
and finally....
House of the Dead - Is there really an explanation needed? Fine. I'll just let the first person footage FROM THE ACTUAL EFFING GAME spliced in to the movie speak for itself.
Honorable mention - Wing Commander and In the Name of The King.
Posted By: It's Vader Time!!!! (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 12:46 AM
Mortal Kombat Annihilation is one of the worst movies I've even seen. I know the first one wasn't a masterpiece or anything but at least I enjoyed it.
Posted By: Cap (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 01:11 AM
You could pretty much fill the list with nothing but Uwe Boll movies, that's not really fair. Better to limit it to just his worst.
Posted By: Deathpool (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 01:16 AM
Incredible comments so far!
SeanAltly, thanks for a great reply...especially done in a well written way. No joke. You could have said, "You suck," but you made some valid points.
I write this column based on my own opinion but also, to try and create debate & opinion. Like yours. I know that I'm wrong on some things but enjoy others coming with their angle. Do I got overboard? Of course! But comments like the ones you and many others make it worth it. Thanks!
Posted By: stevethegoose (Registered) on March 03, 2010 at 01:35 AM
holy fuck you better be trolling. Doom and Hitman were awesome movies
Posted By: Guest#8159 (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 01:48 AM
Wait, holy shit Far-Cry was a movie? and they screwed it up? How did I not hear about this. Talk about epic fail, that fucking movie writes itself. Dang.
Posted By: Guest#1310 (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 02:00 AM
The worst on the list is Postal by far. I tried to watch it and literally had to turn it off as it was just fucking horrid. However, in terms of disappointing, Hitman is about dead on at spot one as that seemed to have a story easier to translate to movie, that just seemed to scream awesome movie, and failed so miserably. I also would bump Final Fantasy up to number 2 as at the time it came out, FF was hugely popular, and had so many stories from previous games that could have been made into movie, and they go with what they did and fail epically. I mean, shit, remake the story from FF 2(US). It would have been short enough for a 2 hour film and totally kicked ass!!!
Posted By: Butters4Prez (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 02:27 AM
I enjoyed Doom. Sue me.
My wife loves Tomb Raider, although I am not sure why...
Posted By: Shawn S Lealos (Registered) on March 03, 2010 at 03:09 AM
Very very harsh on Hitman. Maybe it was because I wasn't a fan of the games but I enjoyed the movie when I took it for what it was... a dumb action flick. Plus the female lead was just incredibly hot.
Plenty of worse films on that list and off it.
Posted By: Guest#1553 (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 03:56 AM
Super Mario Bros shouldn't be on the list purely because the casting of the Brothers is flat out inspired.
Posted By: caboose (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 04:35 AM
Sir, you fail. Do you know why you fail? Because Legend of Chun Li had Chris Klein as a tough guy, which makes it the worst thing ever.
Posted By: Incorrect! (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 05:31 AM
The ONLY good thing about MK:A was Cyrax.
Posted By: The Great Capt. Smooth (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 05:36 AM
I own all 10 of these movies and love them all. I own every Video Game Movie and find something good in each one. Screw you Haters!!!!!!
Posted By: Me (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 05:59 AM
Wow those are some really terrible movies although I did like Final Fantasy and Silent Hill and Bloodrayne should have def been on the list ova FF. Ill quote one of my friends that Michael Madsen in Bloodrayne one of the worst pieces of acting of all times. Woooooooooooooo it always makes me laugh when I think about it.
Posted By: Wisecracker (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 07:10 AM
I'm astonished that Alone in the Dark and Bloodrayne have been left off, but then, it's hard to be disappointed in an Uwe Boll film. Disappointment indicates expectations that aren't fulfilled, and who the hell expects anything from Boll?
And of course I'd still go for it, beard and all. What's a little thing like a beard when you have a body like that?
Posted By: The Tortoise King (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 08:02 AM
Hate to say your wrong but your wrong big time Hitman was great film it was a great action flick it would been an even bigger commercial flop if they had of stuck to the game story lines they are two slow for majority
Posted By: rOB (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 08:12 AM
Hitman was actually a good movie. They could have cast the main guy a little better but the movie was decent. Or maybe I just thought so because I watched it after I saw that shitty 'No Country For Old Men'.
The worst video game movie was that doc The King of Kongs. Talk about losers. At least that one guy has a family (who he neglects) the guy with the beard is just as sad as they come.
Posted By: Guest#5143 (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 08:38 AM
Postal, Tomb Raider, Hitman shouldn't be on the list.
Number 1 should be House of the Dead by Uwe Boll, anyone seen this shit? I did, he got better since then but God that movie was random.
Just my 3 cents
Posted By: slurper (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 09:40 AM
Judge Dread
Posted By: Muta Mark (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 09:53 AM
With the exception of the first Resident Evil... are there ANY good video game movies?
I mean I love Double Dragon as much as the next guy but let's be serious.
Posted By: Madcapunlimited (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 10:22 AM
Alone In The Dark?
Posted By: Joe (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 11:00 AM
I guess I'm odd. I was entertained by Street Fighter, Doom, Silent Hill and Final Fantasy.
And isn't that all movies are supposed to do, entertain?
Yeah, they weren't they best ever. But they were entertaining.
Posted By: Comment Board Poster (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 11:21 AM
I think this list could have been done solely with Uwe Boll video game movies.
Far Cry, Alone in the Dark, Bloodrayne, House of the Dead, Postal, Bloodrayne 2... Okay not quite ten, but you get my point.
Posted By: Todd Vote (Registered) on March 03, 2010 at 11:21 AM
I'd hit it and bust off on the beard.
Posted By: Talon (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 11:58 AM
Postal was awesome.
Posted By: Dr. Jones (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 12:08 PM
Alone in the Dark.
Nuff said.
Posted By: Steve B (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 12:12 PM
"Silent Hill should be on the list. That was terrible."
Why, because it was the most faithful adaptation of a video game ever? Idiot.
Posted By: Guest#8215 (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 12:52 PM
While MK-Annihilation wasn't the worst film ever made, or even the worst video game film, it was a convoluted mess in which it seemed the only thing the film-makers cared about was to get as many MK characters on the screen as possible. It didn't help that most of the original cast didn't return, leaving relatively boring replacements for most of the main characters (Raiden, Sonya, Cage, etc).
Posted By: Michael L (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 12:59 PM
You should make a list of ALL video game inspired movies and discuss why each one sucks. I enjoyed the first MK because it was everything you could ask for, accurate representations of the characters (unlike SF) and bunch of badass fights! (liu/reptile Scorp/cage)
I also liked Silent Hill, but never played the games.
Also, if I remember, there was no fighting in the double dragon movie, plus it a had an obese Alyssa Milano.
I fell asleep during Final Fantasy in the theater! I've only played the snes versions prior, so I was expecting some swords and monsters, not some outer space saga more boring the Star Trek!
I would loooove to know what those behind the Super Mario Brothers movie were thinking! Did Nintendo have ANY input? Why hasn't it been redone!?
Posted By: Mare E O (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 01:11 PM
Did you forget Double Dragon movie? That movie horrible!!!!!
Posted By: Guest#9060 (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 01:20 PM
Ohhh forgot Spy hunter
Posted By: Guest#7364 (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 01:20 PM
anything uwe boll did!
as german and cineast, i am ashamed of him
Posted By: Guest#8054 (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 02:12 PM
how is Double Dragon not on this list? That movie blew chunks the size of Mt. Everest
Posted By: da juice (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 02:13 PM
I don't know how Double Dragon and Silent Hill don't make this list but Tomb Raider does. Both of those are easily worse than Tomb Raider and Double Dragon should be contending for the top spot on this list.
As for Street Fighter, Raul Julia single-handedly kept that movie out of the top spot. "For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me... it was Tuesday." Classic.
Posted By: Cory (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 02:21 PM
Well respect the fact that you treated the column as your opinion from the beginning. You went into it knowing full well no on will fully agree and can respect that. Sometimes other columnist don't do that.
I will assume the other movies mentioned in the comments like BloodRayne, Silent Hill, etc...didn't make your list because you weren't overly hyped to see them or expecting them to be good anyway. IF thats the case you were dead on right.
As for Mortal Kombat....not saying they were good movies but I think Annihilation suffered from skipping the second game for the plot of the third game and having no want to explain the storyline behind the addtional characters which were explained in the second game. I mean that was atleast my problem with it there....I know the plot of the 3rd game was ripe with possibilities but that skipping the second for the 3rd was just done terribly.
As for Tomb Raider... the game had action but be real, a lot of people had that game for the eye candy of the lead character and Jolie fit eye candy perfectly. So that movie did its job there with attempts at action done in between. The ending though......yeah it was like here it is the end...tip your waiter...refill your popcorn get the hell out.
Hitman was better than I thought it would be. It could have been a helluva lot better but, by this time after the crap that was Streetfighter.......I never go into any videogame movie with high expectations.
Posted By: Guest#8962 (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 02:33 PM
I KNEW people would defend Hitman. It was NOT that bad of a movie, Olga Kurlyawhogivesafuck was SMOKIN', and Tim Olyphant was perfect for that role. I don't know how a movie could ever hold true to a game where you basically just go around shooting and killing people. In the movie, he went around shooting and killing people. Click HERE for my review of Hitman... http://www.411mania.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=59335 33&an=0&page=2#Post5933533
Posted By: Big Mike Watters (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 02:51 PM
I can't believe Street Fighter is only at #4! The ones below it are pretty horrifying as well but I remember watching Street Fighter with a few friends and passing a bottle of Jameson around- As soon as Van Damme said "IM GOING UP DE RIVAR AND KICK BYSONS ESS" I fucking lost it- ripped the dvd out of the ps2 and broke it to pieces on a nearby pool table cutting my hands up pretty badly, drawing a blank on the rest of the afternoon but yeah. TL;DR - the movie is fucking horrible
Posted By: Ultra Gepetto (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 03:02 PM
i liked Hitman. i love the source material too, so i'd be offended if there was anything to be offended about.
Posted By: Guest#6481 (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 03:10 PM
"Super Mario Bros shouldn't be on the list purely because the casting of the Brothers is flat out inspired."
I agree there.
"Judge Dread"
Was a comic book, not a video game.
Personally, I thought Hitman was the best movie on that list (though I admittedly haven't seen them all). But, again, I've never played the games. And while I haven't seen the Final Fantasy movie, if it's as boring as you say, then it'll match the tone of the games perfectly for me.
Posted By: G-Walla (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 03:28 PM
How did only one Uwe Boll movie make this list?
Posted By: Guest#7059 (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 03:49 PM
The list is okay, but putting Hitman at #1 is a ridiculously over-biased failure.
The fact that you state that no argument will sway is just your way of putting your hands over your ears, shouting "la la la la" and being a child.
Extremely unprofessional.
Posted By: SeatsPro (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 04:18 PM
You haven't found anyone who liked Mortal Kombat Annihilation? Unfortunately my wife likes it a lot. I don't know why? Then again she loves The Pirate Movie and Big Bad Momma II so I think that explains it!!!
Posted By: Lord Keedik (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 04:43 PM
Hitman did just take a big ol' dump on a great stealth series.
Posted By: Guest#0627 (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 04:57 PM
your insane Mario Bros was the shit
Posted By: Guest#7333 (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 05:03 PM
The scene of Jax fighting the dragon was so bad it was hilarous. Easily MK:A's highlight.
Posted By: Guest#0613 (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 05:06 PM
There IS a good VG movie...Final Fantasy:Advent Children is awesome. It sticks to Final Fantasy's "aura" better, and is visually gorgeous. The fight scenes rock, and if you can handle the dubbed version, its all on one disc!
Posted By: FFAC (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 05:25 PM
The Resident Evil trilogy ring any bells? Add all 3 of those movies together and they completely ballsed up the games story... Plus they had a Tyrant TALK FFS! I hope RE's 4th movie sorts it all out.
Posted By: Guest#4685 (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 06:11 PM
I think that is the first time I've ever seen an advert for Campari. I've had a bottle behind my bar for 5 years and I haven't sold a drop. Campari is so nasty, if Salma Hayek poured it all over her chest, I wouldn't lick it off.
And Max Payne wasn't that bad. Wasn't that great, either. But it definitely doesn't deserve to be on the Worst 10 list.
Posted By: Guest#0638 (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 06:18 PM
I would say House of the Dead... but I actually think it could pass as a good comedy. The first person shooter scenes, had me rolling on the god damn floor .
Posted By: Steeler27 (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 06:23 PM
Judge Dredd was a comic book. Spy Hunter got stuck in production hell and was never made.
A lot of these movies can be defended. I mean, let's get real: how can you have high expectations for a movie based on a video game about plumbers who get bigger when they eat mushrooms and fight Goombas?
Any movie based on a video game released before the launch of, say, the original Playstation, really shouldn't be held to a standard. The stories in the games were just as flimsy and two-dimensional(pun intended) as the films they inspired.
Posted By: Joe (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 06:43 PM
I liked Hitman as well and it looks like many on this board liked it as well. Too bad it's sitting at 14% on rotten tomatoes. Guess most of those critics aren't fans.
Posted By: cap (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 07:05 PM
I can't decide if Chris Klein is just a terrible actor, or if he knew he was in kind of a shit movie and hammed it up because, well, who cares in a shit movie?
If it's the latter, then Chris Klein is the greatest actor alive.
Posted By: Used (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 07:26 PM
How is SMB "disappointing?"
I'm not disputing that it's a shit movie...but...what could you have expected, *really?* The games' stories are paper-thin and laughably cartoony, featuring plumbers at war with a giant turtle.
This is more "Here are 10 lame movies based on videogames."
Posted By: Guest#4040 (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 07:31 PM
The ONLY good thing about MK:A was Cyrax.
Posted By: The Great Capt. Smooth (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 05:36 AM
Uh, no? He was on-screen for what, two minutes?
By the way, Steve Gustafson has to be the worst writer on this website. All of his descriptions read like this: "I don't like this movie because it sucks." Next movie.
Posted By: Robert Heenan (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 09:39 PM
There is no comparison between Mario and the other films. Probably the most anticipated video game movie of all time, and a complete failure on every front. There are worse game movies, but few going in with the same expectations.
...But if we're talking quality of film? Alone in the Dark. After House of the Dead - people know what to expect from Uwe Boll, so you can't say it was a huge disappointment... but as a film it's worse than Gigli.
Posted By: Bill21GigaWatts (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 09:49 PM
Street Fighter and Super Mario Bros were pretty horrible. Im surprised you didnt put the Resident Evil 2 on there. I enjoyed all 3 of the RE movies but alot of people shit on the RE series.
Posted By: dogpound7382 (Guest) on March 03, 2010 at 10:20 PM
Has there ever been a good video game based movie? Not that I can recall.
Posted By: Guest#1075 (Guest) on March 06, 2010 at 12:45 PM
Super Mario has to be number one. Everyone I know could ,t wait for it, and, well, we all know how it turned out.
Posted By: Guest#7249 (Guest) on March 06, 2010 at 12:58 PM
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