Elimin8 3.04.10: The 8 Worst Utilized Sidekicks

Posted by Josh Boykin on 03.04.2010

From Tails in the Sonic series and Ms Pac-Man in the Pac-Man games to Waluigi in Mario Tennis and Navi the Fairy in The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time, 411’s Josh Boykin breaks down the worst utilized video game sidekicks in the latest edition of Elimin8! See which sidekicks made the list and why!

It's the first Thursday of March! That means another Elimin8! ::the crowd goes wild::

Of course, we have one of these EVERY Thursday, so I guess that's not the point...regardless, welcome back to another edition of Elimin8, the column where I count down the worst 8 (insert subject here) each week for your reading pleasure (or displeasure).

We're starting off strong this week with the responses from last week...here we go, another section of...

COMMENT COMMENTARY

BBM (Guest) added a cliché I missed:
1). The worst gaming cliche has got to be "the guy/girl you think is your ally is actually a BADDIE!" I hate that, and so many games use it these days... I'll use an example that isn't a spoiler; Wesker in Resident Evil 1.
Well spoken. My favorite non-spoiler version of this one is Kain from FFIV (you find out about that one REAL FAST)...of course, he's the "guy you think is your ally is actually a baddie 'cause of love and mind control," but that's beside the point.


Loki (Guest) called up a good point:
" The point of a game is to have an enjoyable time, not to create the conditions for a brain aneurysm or rage-induced stroke. "

Then, erm... don't play the game on Hard mode.
Or at least play through on Normal to get the full story, then play through in Hard mode for the challenge.

But don't moan that HARD mode is HARD - it's supposed to be HARD, that's why it's fucking called HARD (or is it Spartan in GOW?)!!!

And as for the "LONE STAR - I am your father's brother's sister's cousin's former roommate" cliche, I notice it hasn't been done enough for you to cite any examples.



Lanoit (Guest) replies in one part:
Loki-

There's a difference between being hard, and being unbearable. For instance, why no saves between the boss stages? It can still be hard as hell, but not giving the User the ability to save in the middle of the battle is a bit ridiculous.

I think a bigger gaming cliche is the "the game isn't harder, your guy just sucks now" style of difficulty increasing seen in sports games. On easy, you make every shot. On hard, you can't hit a wide open layup. That's not the game getting hard, that's your guy being forced to suck.
I'm not one to play sports games much, but I can see how something like that would be frustrating. Regardless, you bring up great points about GOW's conclusion; even just having to sit through the cutscene time and time again was excruciating. And though Loki brings up a valid point because I DID do my first play-through on hard, I've found that I have to do that more and more often with games because the "normal mode" isn't challenging. For instance, a friend of mine and I are playing through Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2, and I could almost sleep through the normal mode right now. I still want to feel some satisfaction after beating a boss, 'ya know...


Comment Board Poster(Guest) notes:
" The problem with your number one is that Mario has never (except the occasional RPG) been about the story line. Mario has always been about the gameplay.

So, why bother with a story? Every story is "Go from A to B and acomplish this." In Mario, they simplify that part and just get to the playing.
You know, I have to agree there. Not every game is about the storyline. But I think we can both agree that the "rescue the princess" storyline has been used by many other games too...perhaps "rescue the princess" is code for "no real plot?" I just feel that the gaming community wants more out of its stories than a simple "Go to A and rescue B" if there's going to be a story at all.


A little frustration vented by 16s (Guest):
I never understood why girls get mad at ridicously unrealistic vg girls [myself, i like the more homely/normal ones] yet they can fawn over hollywood actors and musclemen and us guys are supposed to be fine with it/not feel threatened. double fucking standard.

Let's follow with a counter from MissyNEVERWearsSocksWithShoes (Guest):
Not all of us do. Unfortunately, the use of us as an object and little more is very prevelent and is way more visible. I make jokes in the wrestling section about being a columnist and posting pics of John Cena and getting wet, but that's actually sarcasm. You are right, it is a double standard.

And now let's CCCCCOMBO with justwaveyourhandsintheair (Guest):
Thank you for mentioning the unnecessarily busty female & the unnecessarily busty female's non-functional combat outfit... not because of the videos, but because of the points you made about them. I don't really think designers are usually thinking, "What would these characters likely wear?" They seem to be moreso thinking, "What would we like for these characters to wear?" I'm not saying that's a bad direction entirely, but I think some designers become a little more selfish with the attractive females. I guess it may be a way (maybe a cheap one) to make sure we don't look at these women as sex objects entirely. "Wow, these women can kick so much ass with great ease... in THOSE outfits! And with THOSE bodies! Man, not only are they hot, but they're badass, too, and I respect that!"
Everyone is attracted to physically pleasing bodies, that goes without saying. But when the characters with those bodies go past the point of appreciation towards exploitation, whether male or female, that's unacceptable. I could write a whole article about how female characters have been held back in the game genre, and why they're treated like objects today...actually, I'll end up touching on that a little later. Aren't you in suspense now?


justwaveyourhandsintheair (Guest) had a second point:
And what about video game cliches in reference to structure: levels/stages, gaining power-ups/experience points, and fighting a mini-boss then a boss (or just a boss) during or at the end of each level/stage? They can definitely have a negative impact on the creativity of video games because they've become almost standards for video games.
You're mentioning a critical point on the line between cliche and standard issue. The game Shadow of the Colossus is refreshing because in that game there's no leveling, no item collection, no mini-bosses, no baddies between bosses...just thirteen FANTASTIC boss fights in an open, empty world. The game escapes the formula you just mentioned, and I think that's great. But I also feel that, in order to suggest some sort of character improvement over time, leveling and experience is fairly critical. Final Fantasy XIII is touting a new experience/leveling system that may change the way RPGs look at character growth...we'll see how that turns out next week!

Also, how would you feel if you read a book or watched a movie where there was no antagonist interaction at the ends of segments? I think the experience would feel a little empty... game designers must be original, but also must make a product that keeps the attention of the gamer and rewards them for effort, even if that's just a little bit of joy from conquering a mini-boss at the end of a level.


Perhaps you didn't read last week's column, and want all the cliches in a nutshell? Porfirio Diaz (Registered) wrapped it up in a neat little package:
Terrible cliches? That's BS. I can totally write a better more powerful column than this (because I can) but first I have to rescue this awesomely busty princess from Johnny Q. Masochist, the guy with golden bear arms and 36 cannons on his face. Normally I'll have an elite crime fighting team besides me but they find me trouble to work with due to my spontaneous temper. I guess nobody understands me.
:)


You know, this might be a fitting close for the section....Todd Vote (Registered) asks:

'but when was the last time you saw a MMA fighter as "well-developed" as Mai from The King of Fighters?"

Have you seen Gina Carano?
Uhm, Gina Carano was the SOLE reason I watched the 2008 American Gladiators series. Not to mention she's known for being exceptionally friendly in person, too. And let's not forget she's one hell of a fighter! But I think that she represents in reality exactly what female video game characters can be: sexy, smart, and respectable all at the same time. (For those of you who haven't seen her, picture is directly below...)


Source: MixedMartialArts.com


Uuuhhhh....what was I saying? I forgot, 'cause I was too busy fawning over Gina Carano...oh well, I'd better move on. Got a job to do, after all...

This week's Elimin8 topic comes from Jae Michels, so congrats to her! We've all played our fair share of video games with lovable lead characters like Sonic and Mario, and many of those leads have faithful sidekicks who are always there to lend a hand...sometimes whether you want them to or not. Often times bad sidekicks are the result of underdeveloped characters...so here are The 8 Worst Utilized Video Game Sidekicks, served up nice and hot.

Elimin8: The Worst Utilized Video Game Sidekicks


8. Bowser Jr.




Doesn't he look like he's got Peach's eyes? I mean, after all those times that Bowser's captured her and carried her off to his castle....and maybe there was some time that Mario got held up by some Hammer Bros. for about...oh, say. 9 months? Then again, Bowser Jr. is awful small...maybe he's a bit premature? Regardless, since his inception in Super Mario Sunshine, he's been nothing but a thorn in the side of Mario players. I also blame Bowser Jr. for Super Mario Sunshine as a whole, a game which I can't stand, and wish hadn't taken place.

The Problem: Bowser Jr. hasn't had the chance to really come into his own, though the comedy he provides in Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door is pretty funny. Bowser Jr., unlike Waluigi, has a lot of character and humor that could be harnessed in future titles if given the chance. He could be a fantastic brawler (no pun intended) in a future Super Smash Bros. title, since SSB is a somewhat casual, fun and funny fighting title.

How to be a Better Buddy: Expand Bowser Jr.'s usage! Give Bowser a rest, or maybe have a game co-starring Mario and Bowser Jr., a platformer where the consistent movement could take full advantage of his slapstick humor. And I'm serious about him being a playable character in the next Smash title...I mean, you can't tell me that wouldn't be fun.


7. Miles "Tails" Prower



Tails' introduction into Sonic 2 was both a blessing, and the most unholy of curses at the same time. On one hand, Tails introduction into the Sonic franchise allowed for some cheat-level two-player co-op, allowing one player to cautiously navigate worlds and then sit back while another player took control of Tails and fought the boss. No matter how many times Tails got hit, he never died...brilliant.

On the other hand, when Tails wasn't controlled by another human, he was a walking nightmare. I can't tell you how many times Tails' involvement in the bonus stages for that game cost me Chaos Emeralds as he snatched up rings and then clumsily dragged his ass into a landmine, tossing all the rings in the air...what a nightmare. Since those days, Tails' has developed some semblance of a personality as a Sonic groupie, following him into every situation with the intellectual depth of an 8-year old. There's a reason for that, because he IS 8-years old, and he's been that way since the series began.

The Problem: The Sonic games have steadily gone from bad to worse to abysmal to downright wretched once the series hit 3D. Each game introduced new characters into the mix., and each game took a turn for the worse. Miles has sat in the background this whole time, waiting for an opportunity to shine..and has never gotten it. Even though he's one of the most popular characters in the Sonic franchise, Sonic Team has never really taken advantage of his popularity to make a quality title.

The Solution: Go with who you know and make a Tails game. Sonic 4 is coming out soon (and it better kick ass), but another solid platformer could be created with Tails as the star. Tails has always been given the Luigi-esque, second-fiddle treatment here in America, but in Japan he's starred in his own games with various degrees of success. Given his history as an inventor and mechanic, there's a lot of potential to develop him as an older, wiser character not obsessed with riding Sonic's....well, you know.

6. Ms. Pac Man



Living in sin since 1981, Ms. Pac-Man was actually responsible for a revolution in dot-chomping, ghost-evading maze navigation. The eponymous game (the game with the same name as her, in case you weren't sure) featured many improvements on the classic Pac-Man game, including new mazes, new ghost algorithms (so they weren't so predictable to avoid), and other improvements that basically made it better than the original in every sense. But since then she's almost been non-existent, making cameos in those really bad Pac-Man World games for a couple seconds at a time.

The Problem: Even though it was likely unintentional, Ms. Pac-Man has gone down as one of the best games of all time because of how well it improved on its predecessor. Where did that ingenuity go? Let's also remember that Ms. Pac-Man was one of the first female video-game protagonists, and she ran circles around those ghosts in mazes more complicated than Pac-Man ever thought about! Now what's she doing? Sitting at home watching Pac Jr? Give me a break.

Overcoming the Cliché: Give me some of that same ingenuity in a new Ms. Pac Man title. Pac-Man World titles aren't phenomenal by any means, but maybe if a team could unleash some of that same creativity that made the original Ms. Pac-Man so much better than its predecessor, Namco could get those titles on the map. A Pac-Man reboot might not hurt...maybe something like this?



Ok, don't really do EXACTLY that...but you see my point, right?


5. Otenko



K, so the odds that many of you have own/have played Boktai: The Sun is In Your Hand or its sequel, Solar Boy Django are pretty slim. I get that. But I, owning both of them, have come to the knowledge of a floating, flower-looking "Master" in these games by the name of Otenko. The player, as Django, wielder of the Gun del Sol, is guided by Otenko, the mystical floating sunflower, to combat zombies and other dreaded undead villains. The game concept was really cool, as the cartridge had a chip in it that reacted to sunlight and affected the game...but that's not what this is about. This is about what happens when you try to sell a game in America that features a boy with goggles and a red scarf being followed around by a floating flower.

The Problem: A floating flower should NEVER give me fighting advice of any kind. In fact, unless the floating flower is teaching me how to decorate my room to get maximum Fung Shui, I probably should never be talking to a floating flower in game. Sure, many games have done the non-functional-but-always-there companion trick, like Okami's Issun the Wanderer. He was a small bug that rode with you throughout the game, and he at least had some humor to him! But there's no way that a company, even if the game has been worked on by Hideo Kojima (creator of the massively popular Metal Gear Solid series), can expect to sell a game very well in the States if the character design isn't appealing.

How to be a Better Buddy: Odds are that the Boktai storyline ended with the release of Lunar Knights for the DS, but if they were to redesign the original Boktai games for maximum effect, Otenko would need to look like...something other than a flower with an awkward oblong nose. Though the games sold well in Japan, I personally can't take a floating flower seriously, or respect a floating flower as the master of anything. I feel like a large portion of the American public may feel the same way. Packaging a game with a floating flower on the cover contradicts any theme the designers could have been going for when making a vampire/zombie slaying game.


4. Waluigi



I still remember seeing commercials for Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins during after-school cartoons and thinking, "Hey, that's kinda cool. That Wario guy seems sorta scary, but he makes a cool rival." Then I got an unpleasant surprise when I played Mario Tennis and found that Wario had a new counterpart: Waluigi. The doppelganger to the red-suited Italian plumber's brother, Waluigi is obnoxious from head to toe; every part of him from his awkward character model to shrill voice begs for someone to remove him from gaming existence.

The Problem: He exists for no real reason. Mario, Luigi, and Wario all got their start in legitimate Mario games, but Waluigi was tacked on to increase the character roster in a spin-off Mario Sports title. Even Daisy, Princess Peach's double and Luigi's girlfriend, at least showed up as the damsel-in-distress in the original Super Mario Land. Even though Mario games don't have any real stories, it still rings false to have such an antagonistic character appear for virtually no reason.

How to be a Better Buddy: Give Waluigi a REAL personality, and maybe make him the antagonist in a Luigi-starring game. Hell, I people probably would have accepted him if he'd somehow been behind the plot in Gamecube-launch title Luigi's Mansion. Right now, instead of giving us something to build off of, Nintendo has just told us this: Waluigi is a DICK. For no reason. And he has nothing better to do than wait for Mario to throw a party, then tell people to "suck it" while in soccer tournaments. Unfortunately. Waluigi can't be simply removed from the Mario canon, so Nintendo should take some time to try and make him a more likable character.


3. Yuffie Kasaragi



Have you ever taken a long trip with someone you just met? Have you ever been annoyed almost to tears by that person? Or, better yet, have you ever met someone, had them join your group of friends, then turn around just to find out that THEY STOLE ALL YOUR MATERIA? Well, maybe you don't personally have any materia, but that's beside the point. Yuffie Kasaragi from Final Fantasy VII joins your party only to steal ALL of the items you use to power up your party in game. Later on you catch her and get your stuff back, but by that point you're so angry with you simply want to cleave her into pieces with Cloud's giant Buster Sword and get on with your life.

The Problem:: I should never feel like I ABSOLUTELY ABHOR the existence of any member of my party. Yuffie simply drops in from a tree and engages in baffling dialogue that 90% of the time results in you getting your stuff stolen. It's outlandish. Then later she joins your party. At this point I feel inspired to get into randomly generated battles just so I can attack her and watch her fall over into an unconscious heap. In games I want to feel like I, in some way, need to have the characters in my party around me, and, even if I dislike them, still have some sort of respect for their existence. Yuffie broke that.

How to Be a Better Buddy: DON'T TAKE MY SHIT! There are plenty of ways to play the "I used to be bad, but now I'm good," card when creating a sidekick, but for heaven's sakes, don't make me wish that I could end the quest of the game just to kill members of my own party. Nobody wins if that happens.



2. Roll



Roll, the "Robot Master" created alongside Rock, the robot who becomes Mega Man in the Mega Man series, has been around since the series inception, but, unlike Tails, has done virtually NOTHING to enhance or enrich the games. Particularly in the classic Mega Man series (but also in the spin-off series, X and Legends), Roll sits at home and worries while Mega goes out and takes on all the bosses, gains all the powers, and occasionally drives in cart races and is featured in 2D fighters. Roll jumps in for these side opportunities, but is generally little more than comic relief. What else can you be when you're basically the "Robot Master" of Dishwashing?

The Problem: Roll was supposed to appear in Mega Man 2 as a playable character alongside Mega Man, but the game developers decided against it because they didn't want to market a game with a woman protagonist to a dominantly-male gaming audience. Roll's appearance in that game as a RollBuster-wielding equal to MegaMan could have A) Introduced some fantastic two-player co-op action into the mix (or maybe that wouldn't have worked out; only time would tell), and B) could have done wonders for giving women an acceptable, action-hero-not-housewife role in games. But the developers wrote her out, and since then she's done almost nothing to help the franchise other than clerk a parts store and provide radio direction that really shouldn't be necessary in a game that's only got two directions: forwards, and backwards.

How to Be a Better Buddy: Use your characters to their fullest! A re-release of the classic Mega Man game for the PSP called Mega Man: Powered Up! features Roll much more prominently in the storyline and gameplay, and that's the way it should be. If you're going to take the time to call someone a "Robot Master," at least have them master something cool. But particularly when series staple is female and doesn't do much, it really limits the ability of the series to grow alongside society.


1. Navi the Fairy



I hate Navi. SO, SO, SO MUCH. Navi's appearance in The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time heralded a great step in the Zelda series: in-game help. Man, those games could get confusing, and having some in-game direction really helped to keep gamers pointed in the right direction. But Navi's obnoxious "HEY! LISTEN! LISTEN! LISTEN!" calls time and again, even when I was doing exactly what she was telling me to do make me want to toss Link off a bridge just to end the quest and the incessant calls. I always wanted to see this on my screen:


I'm so jealous of the Powerpuff Girls' Mayor. He did the one thing I wanted all game without even trying.

The Problem: There's such a thing as too much help, and there's such a thing as an obnoxiously resilient character. Combine the two and you have a deadly combination on your hands. Sure, there are some emotional moments conveyed by Navi in the forests of Hyrule, but the long times in between where you're just trying to shove a block into place and Navi's screaming at you about how Saria misses you and how you should be going somewhere different....they're called SIDEQUESTS for a reason, Navi...I do them on the SIDE of the main QUEST, and you need to shut up and deal with it.

How to be a Better Buddy: First, calm Navi down a bit, and give her a bit more personality. This happened somewhat with the inclusion of Midna in Zelda: Twilight Princess. Midna was obnoxious too, but had a stronger personality and a story that allowed for it. Midna also seems to be less incessant than Navi, making her much more enjoyable to have around. Regardless of the circumstance, a sidekick should always feel crucial to the story, and should enrich the overall game experience. I suppose that, in a sense, Midna (and the aforementioned Issun) both do what Navi should have done in Zelda; immersed me more deeply into the world of the game instead of feeling like a tacked-on, vague strategy guide.



Another Elimin8 here and gone, everyone. If you've got a cell phone (particularly a SIDEKICK), you should hop on over to Twitter and check these links out:

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Check back next Thursday for the next Elimin8. Any sidekicks I missed? What should I count down next week? Comment your suggestions, or send them to [e-mail]. See you next week!

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