Gaming's 3R's 6.23.10: E3 2010 Edition

Posted by Jordan Williams on 06.23.2010

The Biggest Event in the Gaming world is officially over...but how did the press conferences stack up? Let's find out.

Welcome to the #1...wait...wait...

This isn't Working Title. My bad.

Either way, just like last year, your resident ranter (me) is back to present the 3Rs for E3. Seeing as E3 is pretty much the biggest gaming event we have, it deserves its own special little ditty of a column.

But wait? Doesn't someone else do the 3Rs for the games zone? Why am I doing it? Because I did it last year...and I've been here longer. So eat it.

I'm sure you all are well aware of how 3Rs work, but for the new booty a quick refresher...



Right
Pretty self explanatory. What was right about the conference down to the types of games they announced, to what they showed and didn't show and even some great moments.

wRong
What was just not right, either the game didn't need to be at E3, or they didn't show enough of it or whatever.

Ridiculous
Well. Fucked up. Pretty much stuff that had NO place on that stage or just some flat out STUPID moves overall.



So now that you all have been all caught up, let's just kick it off in order...

MICROSOFT

• THE RIGHT

Call of Duty: Black Ops
They started the show off with Call of Duty: Black Ops, which makes a lot of sense seeing as that game has gotten them a BUTT TON of money of the years. The gameplay demo looked pretty great graphically and it looks like it plays fine, too. But the main reason this is the right is because this is the direct product of all of the (Workie Award Winning) Activision vs. Infinity Ward drama. Treyarch has always been seen as the second banana to IW and this game looks like they might actually get out of IWs shadow

ESPN Live
This is not me endorsing ESPN 3 (Live) at all, but I do sort of like how they got such a big name network on board. Whether everyone else wants to admit it, this will be the first chance to see if a true Network TV On Demand service will work on XBL.

Metal Gear Solid: Rising
Last year when they had the SUPER short announcement or MGS: R, I was a bit underwhelmed because...well...I don't like Metal Gear Solid too much after 3. But now that we know a little bit more about the game and how it will function, and it looks fun as hell.

Xbox 360 Acute
Yeah, they didn't exactly call it the Xbox 360 Acute (still #1 hit on Google!) but at least they knew if they wanted to keep the 360 around for another five years they had to redesign it. Plus it actually looks like they listened to what people wanted. It's quiet, it's black (although I hate the glossy finish) it has BUILT IN WI-FI and a bigger HDD. I was totally expecting a giant price tag for it...but it's the same price as the current SKU...and it's out now. Actually...I got one earlier. It's nice and purdy.

• THE WRONG

Kinect, it's like the Wii but...it's like the Wii!
Alright, time to bash on Kinect. I love the technology and I really think it can work...but...there is nothing that the Kinect did during that conference that goes "Man, I NEED to get that" or convinced me to get it over a Wii. There are problems that are SUPER obvious from the get-go. All of the games they shown are simply games where I stand and move like I am on fire. How am I to control a 'real' game with this? Even the Star Wars game they showed was obviously on rails the entire time. 150 dollars to buy a camera that turns everything into a real game? You gotta interest me more.


Xbox 360 Exclusives look weak
Microsoft made a big deal about the exclusives, which is always good to get out in the forefront...but then the exclusives they showed were weak. Fable 3 got a 2 minute trailer, and Halo: Reach showed only Space Battles. Everything else consisted of stuff we have already seen or is exclusive by virtue of Kinect. It put a really bright light on the fact that although exclusivity might be dead, that Microsoft doesn't have too much in the way of console exclusives to offer people this year.

• THE RIDICULOUS

Learned all the wrong things from Nintendo
Okay. Let's just get this shit out in the open. Pretty much everything they did with the 'Casual Phase' that Nintendo had during their conferences. And I mean EVERYTHING. Having people come on stage and demo the motion control in very stilted and acted ways? Check. Having family friendly games geared towards the kids...and have kids demo them (HERE SKITTLES)? Check. Going out of your way to somehow make all of this relevant to the audience that is NOT IN ATTENDANCE? Check Plus Plus. I see what Microsoft is trying to do here, and there is a market for it. It's just that they are going about it the wrong way when they debut and portray the product like this. They showed a whole lot of games and things that the Wii can do right now for a lesser price. On top of that, they had a WHOLE SEPARATE event in which a lot of this type of stuff could've been shown, freeing up time and space to show more of the consoles offering. Sure, that part was private and non-televised, but most of the people who are really looking at that stuff (Investors, Dealers, and Developers) are the ones who are always at the closed door conferences. The ONLY things that people are coming away saying they NEED to try are the things not even related to gameplay such as controlling the dashboard and video conferencing.


...Do you even WANT to video conference? Does anyone else remember back when Uno Live was the original Chatroulette? Ugh.

Staged Gameplay, Stale Actors
This just goes without saying. I know that not every developer and what not are great speakers, but for the love of shit. If you are going to get the point across at how FUN a game is try to at least hire some good actors of people who make the game look FUN. So much of the demos (which used all girls, trying to get across a message there) were so...stilted. They tried so hard to pump up the fact that YAY WE ARE HAVING FUN despite the fact that they were doing the most mundane motions. By the way, look at the water! As for the Kinect gameplay...it doesn't take someone with 20/20 vision to see that a few of those Kinect Demos were a bit off. Everyone wants to say that there was some sort of latency between the TitanTrons and the Xbox, but even then there just seemed to be too many games in where moving didn't move you on the screen. Namely Kinect Sports where running in place was meant to make you go faster and jumping hurdles meant you had to hop...it looked a LOT like they were trying to time their hops with the hop of the Avatars on screen rather than making the avatars hop.

The 411
Microsoft is always the first one out of the gate, and they usually have a ton of stuff to show off...but this year game off very VERY stale. Not enough variety in the console offerings (Shooter, Shooter, Third Person Shooter) and the Kinect stuff did NOT demo well at all. I'm not sure who was in charge of the line-up this year, but they definitely dropped the ball this time.

This will be going by the 411mania Games rating scale:

0 - 0.9: Torture
1 - 1.9: Extremely Horrendous
2 - 2.9: Very Bad
3 - 3.9: Bad
4 - 4.9: Poor

5 - 5.9: Not So Good
6 - 6.9: Average
7 - 7.9: Good
8 - 8.9: Very Good
9 - 9.9: Amazing
10: Virtually Perfect

PRESSER RATING: 5.0

---

ELECTRONIC ARTS

• THE RIGHT

BulletStorm
So we have been hearing about this game from Epic and People Can Fly for about five forever's now, and it was revealed a few months back to be BulletStorm. At E3 they finally unveiled the first gameplay footage of it and I will say although the game seems to cater to the lowest common denominator with the humor and dialogue, it definitely looks like the gameplay will save it. Plus it looks like it's a first person successor to 50 Cent: Blood in the Sand and The Club, which I dig GREATLY.

Dead Space 2
Two years ago EA was really big about new IPs and getting them to stick with the audiences and avoiding the sequel-fest it was known for. Sadly it didn't work out TOO well because Dead Space 1 and Mirror's Edge didn't sell that well. But I like the fact that they are willing to take another chance with Dead Space 2. Although I don't think I like how Isaac has suddenly become Actionguy McBadass, I do like now that he (and you as the player) are way more informed on the Necromorphs and how to deal with them...which means the game will throw new shit at you.

Medal of Honor
We are going to get this one right out here in the open. This is 110% EA's rip-off of Modern Warfare. They can try to mask it and beard it up all they want to, but they are definitely trying to make this game to be the answer to COWADOOTY. Will it stack up? I don't know yet because I haven't played it...but Battlefield was a great alternative, maybe MEDAFANAH (Yeah, that doesn't work well) could work, too.

• THE WRONG

The Old Republic: The Phantom Gameplay
This might be a bit controversial, but I am not digging how EA is showing off Old Republic so far. We know it's an MMORPG, we know it's Star Wars based...but unless you actually head to a game site or look up something about the gameplay, you don't know shit. For the last two years all of the focus on this game has been "HEY LOOK AT THIS TRAILER OF STUFF YOU CAN'T DO IN THE GAME IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM!" and everyone is wowed for it and gives applause...but there is no new information on the game that was had. It really REALLY seems like this giant assed gamble they are taking might blow up in their faces or that they don't trust the game to stand up on its own two legs and I REALLY hope that is not the case because I REALLY REALLY want to see a game dethrone WoW in my lifetime.

• THE RIDICULOUS

EA MMA Live
This idea sounds SPAZTARDED. I get what they are going for here and the general idea of it...but do they REALLY trust the fan base enough to put on LEGIT live matches? This would mean that EA MMA would have to be completely FLAWLESS in order for this to go off without a hitch. One Exploit that gives a player an edge over the other and it's all OVER. And are they REALLY going to get live commentators for this? I think EA is talking a HELLA big game on this one...and this is all with NO TRUE GAMEPLAY footage to show of it. I really don't know how this is going to end.

Sims 3 Lecture
Ladies and Gentlemen, your James Cameron Moment of E3 2010! Why in the HELL did we get a 10 minute lecture on the human psyche and destiny for a game that has already been out for two years? And after all of that talk they didn't show anything that we didn't already know about The Sims 3. So...what was the point of that?

Crysis 2 3D
I'll get on the Hard Sell on 3D later, but I will say that the idea of just putting the TRAILER in 3D and not the actual gameplay footage was a bit...dumb. If you were really trying to get the 3D gameplay over then maybe you should've shown some...GAMEPLAY? GENIUS!

The 411

So EA usually comes with the goods, and they did this year...but out of what they showed I don't necessarily feel like it's anything...new. That seems to be the common thread for this year's E3 as a whole. The stuff we are seeing is polished, well done, and looks great...but there isn't anything NEW here. Hopefully they are holding SOME stuff back.

This will be going by the 411mania Games rating scale:

0 - 0.9: Torture
1 - 1.9: Extremely Horrendous
2 - 2.9: Very Bad
3 - 3.9: Bad
4 - 4.9: Poor

5 - 5.9: Not So Good
6 - 6.9: Average
7 - 7.9: Good
8 - 8.9: Very Good
9 - 9.9: Amazing
10: Virtually Perfect

PRESSER RATING: 6.5

---

UBISOFT

• THE RIGHT

Child of Eden
It's Rez. With Kinect. What else do I need to say?

Rayman is BACK BITCHES
The fact that this game was made by five people is downright fucking impressive, that and it's the first actual real Rayman game in a long time that doesn't feature those goddamn rabbids. Although I don't know how they could make this a full retail release by how it looks, but either way...RAYMAN IS BACK! NO MORE RABBIDS! (Wait for it...)


Ghost Recon: Future Soldier
As a big fan of GRAW I do love how they are finally progressing this series along. Seeing as GRAW never really hit that level of futuristic that they were going for. I don't know it will do but the live demo especially the fact that you can straight up gank dudes while invisible and prop them up so the guards don't notice.

• THE WRONG

Your Shape: Fitness Evolved...Again
It's not really a knock against the game, since I actually think it's the strongest thing that Kinect offered (even giants like me can do it without fear of breaking it) but to see the same demo over again when everyone just saw it 4 hours earlier was just a tad redundant.

Raving Rabbids Travel in Time
Just going to sum this up easily, the Rabbids are fine...but...this just sort of seemed like the same old shit. And given that Rayman has made his return it seems like the Rabbids are sort of an afterthought now.

• THE RIDICULOUS

Laser Tag!?
DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THIS!? I mean Laser Tag is awesome and all but...but...in the words of a certain group on the internet...

NOT VIDYA.

This seemed SO much more like a CES announcement rather than an E3 announcement. It was just...what the fuck.

Michael Jackson Dance Battle!
And...um...yeah...what the hell else can I say here?

The 411
So Ubisoft is slowly becoming the PresCon that will always be fucking far out and weird...but this was just...yeah. I like the games they showed, but it just seems like Ubisoft tends to forget where the hell they are sometime. Either way, they are entertaining no matter what. And I did not forget Assassins Creed: Brotherhood. It's just that with so little we saw at the Con it looked EXACTLY like AC2 so...Yeah.

This will be going by the 411mania Games rating scale:

0 - 0.9: Torture
1 - 1.9: Extremely Horrendous
2 - 2.9: Very Bad
3 - 3.9: Bad
4 - 4.9: Poor

5 - 5.9: Not So Good
6 - 6.9: Average
7 - 7.9: Good
8 - 8.9: Very Good
9 - 9.9: Amazing
10: Virtually Perfect

PRESSER RATING: 6.0

---

NINTENDO

• THE RIGHT

Kirby's Epic Yarn
I love Kirby. I love new Kirby games. I'm not sure how I feel about the gameplay of it yet but I like the art style like a motherfucker. I think that is the Wii's best strength is the fact that although they do not have the best graphics, they constantly have to do little art style changes and flavors so the games look at least different from the Brown, Grey, and Bloom.

Flipping the Script on Microsoft and Sony
Okay, I will say this...during Nintendo's Conference I think they came off as the biggest trolls in the fucking universe towards Microsoft and Sony. After three years of CASUAL THIS and CASUAL THAT. Having Cammie shilling the motion control and the Family. MS and Sony saw this made Nintendo a BUTTLOAD of money, so what do they do? The bite the fuck out of that style and do the same show. So what does Nintendo do? GAMES. TONS AND TONS OF GAMES. I can just imagine some Sony and Microsoft exec watching that conference and going "FUCKERS".

3DS
This. This is why Nintendo owns the handheld market. They managed to get ahead of the curve (again) and show everyone that it WORKS. Of course we couldn't see the 3DS 3D, but the fact that it was OPTIONAL and that they are bringing a TON of people on board to show this thing a proper launch...it's just...wow. Plus the actual device looks like a BEAST. It looks like the DSi but it has a control nubbin! And the graphics power behind that thing is DAMNED impressive as well. I think the PSP is all but dead now, folks.

Goldeneye Remake
Some people don't like the idea of a Goldeneye remake seeing as how bad Rogue Agent turned out, but it seems like Activision has a handle on this so maybe it won't be complete and utter HORROR like Rogue Agent was. Plus I can throw HATS as Oddjob.

ODDJOB.

THROWING.

HATS.

SOLD.

• THE WRONG

No Love for Other M
Other M is going to be out in two months after being delayed and all we get for it is a trailer? Given how awkward the control scheme seems to be for the press that has played it, that definitely seems like that has to be something you want to demo on the live stage to at least ease the fears of the fanboys out there that worry that their precious game is finally getting some sort of a personality.

Legend of Zelda Live Demo
Although we now know that the demo was fucked over by technical problems (interference and the fact that the sensor bar was a lot farther down than it should have been) it was still something that they should have worked out prior to this or during it. Hell, they could've had a mirrored version of the demo running backstage and flipped to that or SOMETHING. It just hurt really bad to see Miyamoto up there struggling with HIS creation to get it to work.


No Love for DS
Seeing as the 3DS is still about a year off, I was expecting to see SOMETHING for the DS here but there was nothing outside of the underwhelming Golden Sun. Wasn't there supposed to be a new Pokémon game out soon?

• THE RIDICULOUS

WHERE THE FUCK WAS CAMMIE!?
I DEMAND MY SEXY CAMMIE BE RETURNED TO MY TV DAMMIT. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HER REGGIE!? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?

The 411
It might seem like a broken record, but Nintendo definitely brought the A-Game this year. They kept the casual stuff to a minimum, and instead kept throwing games, game, and more games at us. Then the 3DS completely stole the show (and some say the entire conference) on how it actual made true on its promises. I'm just really happy they didn't do that Zelda demo last. That would've been a disaster.

This will be going by the 411mania Games rating scale:

0 - 0.9: Torture
1 - 1.9: Extremely Horrendous
2 - 2.9: Very Bad
3 - 3.9: Bad
4 - 4.9: Poor

5 - 5.9: Not So Good
6 - 6.9: Average
7 - 7.9: Good
8 - 8.9: Very Good
9 - 9.9: Amazing
10: Virtually Perfect

PRESSER RATING: 8.5

---

SONY

• THE RIGHT

Twisted Metal
Although this proves Jaffe to be a giant fucking liar, it's good to see that Twisted Metal is coming back. Is the world ready for another car fighting game after so long? Who knows. But the PS3 has been on FIRE with console exclusives, so maybe this is another that has been added to its belt.

Killzone 3
Speaking of console exclusives, it might've taken three games but it finally looks like Sony might have something to go up against Halo with. The last Killzone seemed to be really just a victim of being too little too late but now that they seem to be putting a ton of power behind this maybe it can finally give Sony the FPS exclusive they really need.

Kevin Butler

Why didn't he host the whole damn thing? Hell, why didn't he host EVERY SINGLE THING EVER?

• THE WRONG

Handicapping the PS3 Move
While I think the Move might be the better of the new motion controls, they have seemed to shoot themselves in the foot here. They are pushing the fact that the Move appeals to all audiences...but the price they are putting on it works against it as well as the fact that they are making 'real' games with Move Support. Yes, Move needs REAL games, but the thing about putting Move Support on traditional games is that NO ONE will look at Killzone 3 or Dead Space 2 and say "You know what? I want to play this with the PS3 Move!". When you are trying to get over a new way to play like this, you need to actual FORCE them to use it. Giving them the easy out option makes them NOT use it.


Marcus/PSP

• THE RIDICULOUS

Hard Sell on 3D
I'll leave this one pretty short because you can look on just about anywhere on the internet to see people bashing 3D, but the fact that Sony is REALLY pushing this 3D movement to a group of people who don't even HAVE 3D TV yet and in a market where 3D TV isn't necessarily proven to work just seems sort of dumb. It's not like HD where it was just a simple upgrade and an eventual step that was going to happen. 3D TV is a luxury, it's something that looks like a fad right now and even the early adopters aren't going to drop 3k on something that isn't proven to have staying power. Nintendo has the right idea. No glasses and a low (compared to others) buy in price. C'mon Sony. In the words of Marcus your new ad campaign...step your game up.

The 411
Sony always seems to shoot right for the middle, and while it seems like Microsoft was on the opposite end this year. Sony did just enough to stay relevant. While Sony has finally hit its stride, they still seem to be lacking that feel to where they can go "Yeah bitches, this is our year. GET A PS3 NOW" And the PSP? Man. Fuck that thing.

This will be going by the 411mania Games rating scale:

0 - 0.9: Torture
1 - 1.9: Extremely Horrendous
2 - 2.9: Very Bad
3 - 3.9: Bad
4 - 4.9: Poor

5 - 5.9: Not So Good
6 - 6.9: Average
7 - 7.9: Good
8 - 8.9: Very Good
9 - 9.9: Amazing
10: Virtually Perfect

PRESSER RATING: 7.0

---

I know I've left out a TON of stuff, but this event is so large that to do a 3R's of the entire event and it would be hella long. So what does that mean? You all get to tell me in the nicest way possible what I forgot and what you agree/disagree with. Who do you think won? Who do you think had the best showing? Go ahead and let me know because...well...

That's what the comments section is for.