Working Title 10.04.10: Working Mini-Rant Double Spectacular

Posted by Jordan Williams on 10.04.2010

Why are we flipping out about the possible price of the 3DS? Why are we flipping out about Opposing Forces?
In the end we all know we are going to buy one and shoot the other.

Welcome to the #1 Column to think that 2010 is the year for the Forgotten Games, WORKING TITLE. Look at it, we have gotten Duke Nukem Forever announced, a new Steel Battalion game, Kid Icarus and now out of fucking NOWHERE we get a Megaman Legends game? What the fuck is going to happen next? Are we going to get a new Power Stone game? A new Doom? Perhaps we will finally get that Shenmue 3 all of the Dreamcast Fans have been wanting so badly. But that is a topic for next week when I go over all of the "Forgotten Games" we are getting soon and what ones we might be getting. This week is about the usual amounts of HIZZY that is thrown around on the internet about some big gaming announcement or news. Because you know we can never all agree on one thing, there has to be a black and white side to each story. So we get two mini rants about overreactions on two different sides of the spectrum, one of them about a new handheld that is going to fucking take the world by storm whether we like it or not, and the other about a name change that really wasn't needed at all.

You know, I figured I'd have a more clever lead in than that...but I got nothing.

So instead you get a picture completely out of context.

Yeah, that'll work.


Working Title Double Mini-Rant Spectacular: 3DS and the Attack of the Opposing Force



The 3DS and You

Usually I get all cryptic and foreshadowy and stuff while I try to make my point, but this time I am just going to come right out and say it.

Even if the 3DS really does cost 300 dollars USD, you fuckers are still going to buy it. Nintendo is going to rape your wallets like the dirty whores they are...and you'll LIKE IT.

Okay, that might've been a little harsh but it's true. People can go on and on about overprice-this and gimmick-that, but Nintendo has proved time and time again that they can pretty much put shit inside of a candy colored case and people will snatch it up. That is not a knock against Nintendo either. They are just really fucking good at marketing their hardware. Plus the 3DS taps into the 3D market that is the buzzword, is an upgrade of the DS which to this day is still selling like a motherfucker, plus it has 'hardcore' games.

But people are mad because it MIGHT be 300 dollars?

Is 300 bucks a bit much for a handheld? I will agree that it is, but it's not outside of the realm of what people are going to do. Everyone pretty much under the sun has a DS or a DSi or a DSi XL, right? GameStop loves its trade in values. If you thought for one second that they were never going to do some sort of TRADE YOUR OLD SHIT IN TOWARDS OUR NEW SHIT deal then you are off of your rocker. Then on top of that...IT'S NINTENDO. BITCH, MOAN, COMPLAIN, and make up every little excuse you want.

"It's too gimmicky"

"The launch line up sucks"

"Nintendo always makes a new version"

Now while those all might be true for various reasons, it's just a simple little mantra I have been saying since E3 of this year. It's something that I know some of the older and more hardcore gamers out there might not want to hear. We still love that gaming is supposedly this giant all encompassing club where we can sit on the inside and look out at all the casuals who still can't operate two thumb sticks at once. But it's something that needs to be said.

WE ARE NOT THE ONLY TARGET AUDIENCE ANYMORE

Yes, the average gamer is in their late 20s and early 30s. Yes, we do have the most disposable income. Yes, we are the ones who write the reviews, wait at midnight launches, and all of that. But we are NOT who Nintendo is aiming for when they put out things, ESPECIALLY the handhelds. They want little Timmy who is going to bug the shit out of his parents for the next four months until he can get it for Christmas. Nintendo wants the parent who wants to get a video game for the child so they just grab the nearest thing that says Nintendo on it. Yes, we might 'appreciate' the games more than others, but we all know Nintendo has shifted focus.

With that being said, 3DS' line up looks a lot more 'hardcore' than the previous outings, a lot of the games being from the golden era of the N64 and Playstation 2. But all of these means ABSOLUTELY nothing if the 300 dollar price tag isn't justified. And while most analysts are already saying Nintendo won't dare go above 250 USD (and I am inclined to agree) even with the most-likely bundled game...I think that 250 is justified for this handheld. I might eat my words in a year but with almost every Nintendo Handheld that has come to the market, there have been GLARING problems that needed to be fixed right away. DS Phat was too big and clunky, the Lite had no didn't fix much except a new case and a better light. The DSi was probably the most complete DS made (and the XL was just the one for giants like myself). Right out of the box the 3DS has all of the things the DSi has on top of the (optional) 3D, the Thumbstick, more space, the cameras, a better online model, a wider screen, better buttons, a better mic, AND super backward compatibility.

It's almost like Nintendo is saying this 250 is...it. No 3DS Lite. No 3DS XL. This might just be the 3DS to end them all, especially with the firmware updates.

Who knows? Like I said I could be wrong about it in the end but for people to get all balls to the wall because they announced that the price is 300 USD when converted from Yen? C'mon now. We're better than that.



Attack of the Opposing Forces!

So EA caved to the controversy and decided to rename the Taliban faction the 'Opposing Forces' in Medal of Honor so they wouldn't offend anyone in/anyone who know someone currently deployed.

I'm all for political correctness and not trying to offend someone but that is some Grade-A Spazztarded BUUUUUUSHEEEEEEEET.

In the end it's just a cosmetic name change that really won't affect the game in anyway when it finally does come out but it's such a lame ass bullshit move that it's just...a waste of time. The game was already effectively banned from being sold on U.S Army Bases and there was the letter writing campaign and what not, but where was all of this fire and brimstone when war movies come out? You never see a press release saying that a movie has changed The Taliban to Opposing Force as to not offend. Sure, this is interactive entertainment and what not but this late in the game and especially after everything seemed to have cooled down what was the real point behind this?

We've had a 'war' game every year for about the last DECADE. While I understand that we are far removed from any of the WW2 era Wars and things of that nature, all of the games still focus on one military power shooting another. If it's not 'the Taliban' it's the Russians, or the Chinese, or sometimes other Americans. It's not so much that the name change bothered me; it's that the way everyone is making it seem like "Oh, as long as it's not people playing as THE TALIBAN and shooting US Soldiers it's okay". So that means its okay for everyone else to shoot at the U.S Soldiers? Name or no name there is still someone controlling someone else shooting someone else.

Don't get me wrong, I love my shooting games. I love my violence. But all of the complainers somehow saying the violence means less or is any different when there is a different name attached to it is just fucking silly.

Opposing Force, Taliban, Cookie Monster, Nexus? Who gives a fuck. They are online avatars who will be shot down. Is it offensive? It might be to some. But a name change isn't going to change that.

With that being said...Medal of Honor doesn't look like it's going to be THAT big of a game anyway, so let's just move on, eh?

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Working Question

Let's keep it simple.

If the 3DS does somehow launch in the West at 300USD (or equal to) would you still buy it?


I know these last few columns have been short, but when you are filming a movie time is fuckin' SHORT. Who woulda thought playing a giant zombie who has no lines and about 30 minutes of screen time would take two months? Oh well.

Until next time, I'm Jordan Williams and...as much as I dislike Kojima and his movies...he is doing well with Castlevania.
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