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 411mania » Games » Columns

Working Title 03.17.12: Working Angry Rant: Capcan't
Posted by Jordan Williams on 03.17.2012

You're #1 Source for F-Bombs and S-Grenades since 2007. Seriously, I cuss a lot.

Welcome to the #1 Column to not give two shits about all of this Mass Effect 3 Drama, WORKING TITLE. Holy pyjack licking Krogan balls is the internet just a whiney and fucked up place nowadays? Last week I got Mass Effect 3. All last week and most of this week I have been playing Mass Effect 3. I've played about 29 hours of single player and 8 of multiplayer. I am having fucking fun. So if you are looking for a column to join in on the of painfully entitled and increasingly whiney Mass Effect 3 Wars then you have some into the absolute WRONG place. Call me a Biodrone. Call me out for using the "Screw you, I'm having fun" argument. But whatever, on this day...not a care was spared, no fucks were given, and there were no hoots left in this man. However…if you want to read what can be seen as an increasingly entitled and whiney rant about something ELSE you've come to the right place.

Also for those who read the last column about the Death of Split Screen/Couch Co-Op I have some fun news for you. Shortly after the column went live I got an email:

Hey Jordan,
Just read your column about split-screen gaming. Ironically, we did a similar one back in November of last year on the same assumption. After doing a little digging though -we were surprised to find it's actually GROWING.


Nick Puleo
Owner and Managing Editor
"Your Prime Source for Co-Op Gaming"

Go ahead and give that story a read. On top of it being better than mine (He does things like…research…and not cuss) it does show that despite how it may look it does seem like Co-Op isn't as dead as we thought it was.

Now on that cheery note let's get onto Working Backlog before I actually rant on a company that cannot seem to get shit right no matter how hard I wish.

Working Backlog

Mass Effect 3 : If my opening wasn't clear enough. I like this game. So I'll just touch on some stuff lightly.

  • I like that I can dodge roll.

  • Not terribly missing the ME2 characters outside a few, but the ME2 characters I cared about got proper usage (I.E Everyone not named Jacob and Thane).

  • Planet Scanning = Still bad.

  • Multiplayer = Not as bad as everyone thought or is saying. Some classes are super kill-stealy though.

  • New Squad Member that is not James Vega has some fucking hilarious dialogue.

  • New Squad Member that IS James Vega is not as big of a meathead that everyone thought.

  • I like the new difficulty but dislike that Squadmate A.I went back to being retarded. Turn *OFF* Power Usage just like in ME1.

UPDATE: By the time this went live I beat ME3. I saw the ending. Scroll alllllll the way down for my reaction to it.

Street Fighter x Tekken: Since this game will be mostly the focus of today's rant in the larger scheme of things I will go ahead and outright say that the GAME is pretty damn fun. I haven't spent as much time with it as I have wanted to but in the time I have spent I did manage to find a team I like (Bob and Ken) and have learned that for some reason I like the Tekken characters a lot more than the Street Fighter characters. I think it's because out of the original roster of SF characters there is absolutely NO ONE in that list I like enough to play with.

I know a lot of fighting game players (not all) always go by tiers and "play who will win" strategy. I have never been a fan of that strategy. For me I actually have to LIKE the character first to even bother picking them up. So...the reason I picked Bob was because goddamn his story is just funny. I am not the biggest Tekken fan and I do NOT know the storyline behind most of the characters but I went ahead and looked up Bob's storyline and the fact that he was a martial artist who got his shit handed to him by an obese person...so he decides to become obese because he thinks THATS why he lost is fucking marvelous. That and he is a rush down character I love that.

Gems and all of that aren't really factoring into my games so much as it just seems that everyone is playing the cheap/easy to use/Day 1 characters. Online is filled with Hugo's who will maul you if they land one clap, Rolento's who will rekka you to death until you press a button, and Ryu players who are just loving the fact that Capcom went out of their way to pretty much make Ryu broken. His ground tatsu, shoryuken, and donkey kick are safe, he can link crouching mid-punches together and pretty much has an anti-air that beats pretty much everything. But hopefully someone exposes these characters so I can have fun online.


You know...if online was actually handled decently by Capcom for a change. Or...if launches were handled by Capcom well for a change. But you know what? No matter how hard I try to deny it...or how much I play devil's advocate...I just can't do it anymore with Capcom. Just...why the HELL can't these get some of this simple stuff right!?

I feel I should just go ahead and throw this out here that this is going to be a rant. Go ahead and look up the definition of rant real quick.

rant (plural rants)
1. A criticism done by ranting.
2. A wild, incoherent, emotional articulation.

See the second meaning? That's going to be what goes on here. I am just going to type about Capcom and whatever comes out comes out.

Also cuss words. Man, a lot of cuss words.

Working Title: Working Rant - Capcom = Capcan't get it right

Every time Capcom has released a fighting game this generation I have been a part of that apologist army that defends Capcom for making bonehead decisions. No lobbies in SF4? Oh that is something they could just patch in for free. AE comes out? Oh well they added in all these new characters which is why the money is worth it. I even defended Ultimate Marvel for some reason. But with SFxTK I can't do it. I simply can't defend of FATHOM WHY Capcom can't seem to get a handle on this.

Jus to be clear, this is NOT about the fact that the 12 DLC characters for SFxTK are on the disc. It's about how Capcom went about doing it and the piss poor way they've handled the situation (and other situations). I actually understand Capcom's reasoning behind this...somewhat. In fact I was already to defend the fact that they had the models(pay attention to that phrasing.) on the disc to save the download time for later and to make sure everyone's version could handle it when the time came. I had a column idea all ready to chew out the internet for jumping the gun and being little babies about it.

And then an hour passed and everyone who had hacked the game revealed that it wasn't simply just the models for the characters, but the entire characters. All of the move sets. All of the voice files. All of the cutscenes, balance changes, dialogue...just pretty much everything having to do with the DLC characters are on disc.

I defended Day 1 DLC.

I defended Project 10 Dollar/Online Passes.

I defended Used Games.

I defended The Virtual Boy

But Capcom...what in the ACTUAL FUCK did you think was going to happen once people found out that you literally had *12 FULLY PLAYABLE AND BALANCED CHARACTERS* on the disc? Did you really think people were just going to shrug and go "Oh, that makes sense" and move on? Are that daft? Yeah. I just used the word DAFT. The fact that you literally have all of these characters locked until the *FALL* for a PSVita release just baffles me....and you want people to play for them after this fact is even more crazy.

If you had just left it at the polygons and gray data that were there to ensure a seamless download and compatibility patch down the road I would've been right there with you fighting all of the internet idiots with a stick as they called for your head. But the fact that you did this...and didn't even BOTHER to hide it better knowing full well that someone was going to look (because the way you handled Street Fighter IV and Marvel vs. Capcom 3) for it?

I mean...there IS a precedent and a reason for going this route. Anyone who followed Mortal Kombat and its DLC problems know that putting out DLC without making sure that all versions can or will be compatible with it leads to some seriously fucked up shit that can go wrong and for the longest time MK9 suffered for it. One way around that issue is to put some of the data on the disc in order to ensure everyone has the 'must have' parts so essentially the DLC they will be downloading/paying for could just plug into or complete the raw data to make sure everyone can play with everyone. THAT makes sense.

Putting 12 fully functional, fully balanced, fully playable, fully complete and integrated characters onto the disc...and then simply putting a code in to keep them hidden from appearing on the character select screen is NOT THE SAME THING. That's the type of shit that makes people question DLC in general. That's the type of shit that gives fuel to the "DLC is the Devil and game companies just want to nickel and dime you" argument. That's the type of shit that squanders the little bit of trust people have in Capcom.

Yes, the game does ship with a LARGE roster of characters already. No, the game does not feel 'incomplete' without them. But the simple fact that Capcom hasn't learned from ANYTHING and just slap this onto the disc, behind flimsy code and a solid excuse is what is wrong about this. They say they are doing it to make sure that SFxTK is the only version of the game...not Ultimate SFxTK or Super SFxTK. Every update and download will come via DLC. That is admirable...but putting said updates ALREADY ON THE DISC COMPLETELY DEFEATS THE POINT OF HAVING SAID UPDATES BE UPDATES. If it's done...RELEASE IT. If you don't want to release it right way…HIDE IT BETTER AND HANDLE IT BETTER. Now some might say Sony is to blame for this because they are forcing Capcom to hold these characters back for the PSVita version and if that is the case than Sony can eat the same dick Capcom is eating right now from the other side so they meet in the middle Lady and the Tramp style...but it still doesn't excuse the fact that Capcom handled this poorly from the jump. Slapping the complete playable data on the disc and then not even bothering to even try to hide it better is just...it's just lazy.

Speaking of lazy...

All of the problems with the net code on the and the Xbox 360 related problems. This is pretty recent but it still bears mentioning. How in the hell does Capcom somehow not manage to figure out how to do guest/local tag play online when off of the top of my head at least 10 games including last year's Mortal Kombat that have come out in the last 5 years have done it? And then they honestly go on to BLAME MICROSOFT for why the feature wasn't included.

Really? You are going to blame Microsoft for not being able to support local guest play when Halo, its flagship first party title, has online guest play? The most recent being Halo Reach which has online guest play for UP TO FOUR PLAYERS ON THE SAME CONSOLE?

Nope. Not buying it.

They recently released a blog post saying that 'during development issues came up that prevented us from implementing the feature in the Xbox 360 release of SFxTK". What sort of issues? Why didn't you say this the first time instead of pretty much marketing that feature to the masses for the last six months and then having us find out post-launch that it wasn't in the Xbox 360 version of the game?

Since the lack of this feature doesn't affect me as much I don't have AS much hate and vitriol for it but again this just reeks of Capcom being lazy, cutting corners, and then giving half ass excuses when called for its BS. Nothing stopped them from trotting out all of this media garbage like Cross Assault and all of these other things to make the game look good (or some might argue, better than it really is) but when it comes to damn near anything that can portray the game in a negative light it seems like Capcom's go-to defense is "Oh, well we knew this would happen...so we just let it happen". It's a known fact that The Internet Gaming Community can more often than not be a fickle, entitled, and sometimes downright uncompromising beast but a little goes a long way in sometimes helping people understand what was going on.

Had Capcom simply put out a developer blog pre-release stating that the Fall DLC characters (partial data or whole) would be on disc to avoid problems down the road it would've done them wonders. I can't say it would've calmed the hordes down completely but it would've given people a frame of understanding. Same thing with the whole "no local tag online" problem on Xbox. Just SPEAK and people WILL listen.

People love to say it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission, but like most things that require some form of logic and rational thinking it's all thrown the FUCK out of the window when it comes to The Angry Internet.

This is the part when I'd say "Get your shit together, Capcom" but we all know by now that they have no intention of doing it. So why bother?

Let's just sit back and watch the next launch they mess up and laugh at the attempts to fix it.

UPDATE: Just before I submitted this rant for upload Capcom announced that they will be issuing a patch to fix the online issues and the Gem System times. They also announced that the costumes for each character will be 1$ a piece with the option to buy a bundle for one side (SF or TK) of the roster at a discount. They also announced that the 12 new characters would be available in the Fall for $20.00 USD.


For comparison purposes – Street Fighter IV: Arcade Edition was $15 USD and came with four characters (Yun, Yang, Oni, and Evil Ryu). So from a dollars perspective getting 12 full characters IS a steal. It still dosen't change that Capcom went about this the wrong way. Also given how it all went down I am not nessecarily sure if I agree with the $20 price point for something that was on disc from Day 1. Even those four characters from AE had to be downloaded.
It looks like I got myself a…

Working Question
You've already read my rant. What could Capcom have done to make this better? Do you agree with having the full roster on the disc? Do you agree with having ‘partial' content on the disc and the rest later?

Until next time, I'm Jordan Williams…and I don't have anything really good to close with today so I'll just say this:

It's still going to be Game of the Year.

Right Click > Open Image in New Tab/Window. Highlight the next lines for explanation.

I didn't like it, but it didn't ruin the game or the saga for me
The way the masses are going about this makes the image ring true. When did we get so entitled? When did we magically gain the ability or the right to demand that someone change their creative property because "Aw, I didn't like it". If you didn't like it...rate it bad. Review it bad. Move the fuck on. We want to be accepted as a serious form of media (and even want to be accepted as ART) and we throw a bitch fit over something not ending the way we wanted it to? Give it the criticism you think it deserves and let it be. Go pull that shit with a film or a book and see where it gets you. I hope BioWare dosen't cave to this bullshit.

That is...assuming the leaks about "The Truth" aren't true. If that's the case the amount of crow that will be eaten will be glorious.


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