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 411mania » Games » Columns

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Four Player Co-op 4.02.14: Oculus Rift, Duke Nukem, Wolfenstein, More
Posted by Stephen Randle on 04.02.2014





Cara Alex Brown has joined the game.
Stewart Lange has joined the game.
Todd Vote has joined the game.


Quizmaster Greetings, and welcome to another edition of Four Player Co-op, the game that nobody cares about because there's WrestleMania, Opening Day, and the season premiere of Game of Thrones this week. But at least we're a close fourth in importance.

Start the game!




QUESTION ONE: So, the Oculus Rift, which started as a mere Kickstarter project (well, a mere 2.3 million dollar Kickstarter project), has now spawned an imitator in Sony's Project Morpheus, and more importantly, has just been sold to Facebook for over 2 billion dollars. Yes, with a "b". Aside from causing the creator of Minecraft to stop making a Rift version due to his dislike of being associated with Facebook, the important thing is that there is now serious money behind the future of VR gaming. Are you on board with the idea yet?

Cara Alex Brown - Honestly, I really really don't like the idea. I've been really looking forward to the Rift and what could be done on it, especially sandbox and MMORPG possibilities, and now Minecraft has pulled out when its format and play style already makes it ideal. Now, all I can picture is VR Farmville and I really don't want that to be the future of the Rift.

Stewart Lange - Jesus, I'm trying really hard to stop laughing at Mark Zuckerberg long enough to type this. 2 BILLION U.S. DOLLARS is the most ridiculous sum of money to spend on something that, using history as a reference, has no way of succeeding. I have genuinely no interest in VR gaming short of wanting to find a Virtual Boy for my personal collection. I'd love to think they have something cool in mind for this, but boy, does it seem extremely misguided right now. Someone, please explain to me why this is going to be a good idea for Facebook aside from them using it as a creepy stalking device.

Todd Vote - As I said in the past, I am not really against the idea of virtual reality, not in the least. But I don't like the idea of wearing a big bulky headset to accomplish said VR. The fact that Facebook has now bought Oculus kind of leads me to believe the Rift is going to be used as a Facebook version of Google Glass, only now you can play Farmville on it too. 

Quizmaster - Stewart, I'm not sure it's a wise move to laugh at a guy who can afford to blow two billion dollars on a whim, but they're your kneecaps. Todd gets 823 points for at least not being against the idea, but I'm not sure how he thinks VR can be done without a headset of some kind. And if he hates that, just wait until he hears about the full-body skintight sensor suits that come next.



QUESTION TWO: Well, the fight between 3D Realms and Gearbox continues to drag on, as both are claiming that they own the Duke Nukem trademark, due to 3D Realms saying that they never sold it to Gearbox, who you may recall were the ones who finally released Duke Nukem Forever into the wild. I guess what I'm trying to say is, does anyone actually give a crap about the Duke Nukem franchise?

Cara Alex Brown - Sorry, I genuinely didn't even look into this. No offence to any fans of the game but I've never played a Duke Nukem game in my life and I'm in no hurry to. They're bickering over rights to a title that I've not heard anyone praise since I was about 8. All I've heard about it in recent years is a lot of slander about the newer titles, so I've had very little interest.

Stewart Lange - Remember the episode of Friends where Chandler and Ross were arguing over the joke that Playboy published? Then, when one of the girls said the joke sucked anyway, they both denied all knowledge over having invented it? That's the stage this argument should really be at right now. Apart from that, where was 3D Realms' voice 4 years ago when the monstrosity that was Duke Nukem Forever was released?

Todd Vote - Nope. 

Quizmaster - Todd gets 1239 points for being both concise and correct. Stewart gets 329 bonus points for using Friends to make a point, even if I don't even remember that episode. Hey, did Ross and Rachel ever get together for good?



QUESTION THREE: Flying somewhere under the radar, Wolfenstein: The New Order is set to hit stores this spring, and of course, there's a collector's edition available. Titled the "Panzerhund Edition", it runs for about a hundred bucks and includes the usual stunning array of stuff that always gets people to buy collector's editions. Oh, except for one thing: it doesn't actually come with a copy of the game. All right, I"m going to go ahead and say that the entire concept of collector's editions has officially gone too far. Who's with me?

Cara Alex Brown - What the... Okay, I'll hold back as much obscenities as I can but this is ridiculous. I thought the Elder Scrolls Online nonsense where they're selling an entire race off in the collectors edition was bad enough, but a collection of random items for a hundred bucks and then the game on top of it? Screw that. I'm an art student, let's look this over from my perspective

- ""11 classified documents", so, bits of fancy paper with crap written on them or photographs? Wait until clear photos are released of the merchandise and remake them yourself. Publisher, photoshop, old fashioned paper altering effects and things as simple as a fountain pen and you could likely make better ones yourself since I'm willing to bet these documents are printed like posters.

- "4 alternate reality vintage postcards" Wait until the photos are up, make them into a postcard, get them printed off at a print shop. Done.

- "Three patches" There's enough places online to upload designs and get replicas made, or you could make your own knock offs with some good material and fabric glue. Seriously, a couple of iron on patches isn't justifying this ridiculous package yet.

- "Dog tags" Seriously? You can buy and get dog tag necklaces engraved almost anywhere for next to nothing And these ones don't even look like dog tags, they look like weird gold coins on the end of yellowish rope. Buy some polymer clay and rope, or buy normal dog tags

- "steelbook case" ask any collector of this kind of stuff ever how to make your own knock off, almost every collector knows how to make a good looking storage piece.

- "8 inch fully articulated Panzerhund statue" The one thing that actually holds a substantial amount of worth here.

So you're going to shell out 100 bucks for a statue and some stuff you could easily make knock offs of, and then even more for the game? Games companies really are turning into con artists with all this crap.

Stewart Lange - Is this week's set of questions just meant to be annoying me? Wow. Well, if someone wants to spend $150 on a Wolfenstein game (that have been distinctly "meh" for 20 years) then more fool them. It's not my money they'll be wasting.

Todd Vote - Wait, what? A collectors edition that does NOT include a copy of the game? WTF would be the point of that? Please don't tell me that the collectors edition already has pre-orders. I just can't really even wrap my head around this concept... I clearly need this explained to me by someone smarter than I am. Guess that means I can't ask the Quizmaster for clarification... 

Quizmaster - Cara goes the opposite of concise, but remains correct, so she gets 2184 points. And Stewart, don't be silly, I don't tailor questions to annoy you. I tailor them to annoy Todd. On that note...



QUESTION FOUR: And just because I feel like this might irritate certain members of our little group, it was recently revealed that Volition, the Saint's Row guys, cancelled a new IP that was supposed to be for next-gen consoles. Oh, and that IP was a open world, post-apocalyptic, western setting. So, you know, something like a futuristic Red Dead Redemption. And now it will never happen. Please react appropriately.

Cara Alex Brown - Jeez I'm not being very interesting this week... that doesn't particularly bother me. Sorry, I'm just bored of zombies, first person shooters and the apocalypse and this would likely be 2/3.

Stewart Lange - FUCK. 

Todd Vote - That is unfortunate.. I could get behind this idea. Sounds a bit like the old movie from the 70's, starring Yul Brynner, Westworld. Robot quickdraws, mechanical horses... Damn it Volition... I'm willing to forgive this as long as we get more Saints Row games. 

Quizmaster - Aw, I was hoping there would be more anger, but Stewart gets 3153 points for trying. Where's my Red Dead Redemption 2, Rockstar?



BONUS QUESTION: Dammit, I had something for this...talk amongst yourselves.

Cara Alex Brown - Okay I'm actually just gonna use this space to give an update to anyone who actually read/reads my column about what's been going on. I suffer with a fatigue illness that's gotten pretty horrifically worse the last couple of months, so I've been able to write my column the last chunk of weeks due to not having the energy on top of college and everything else. It absolutely sucks but I've just not been well enough. However, I'm looking to try and start it again as soon as possible at at least a bi-weekly status for the time being. I was meant to start it again this week but I had some really bad days. So yeah, that's where Overlooked has been. It sucks, and sorry for the sob story, but at least this has given me a chance to let anyone interested know. Once I start writing again I'll likely be writing about the overlooked titles in big series (e.g. the least popular/most ignored ones) or things of the like to make things a tiny bit easier on myself until I can get back into the swing of things. Sorry for stealing up your bonus section Stephen, but thanks for still including me this week and for having a bonus question that meant I could steal up this space!

Stewart Lange - Forget it. I'm addicted to Titanfall despite promising myself I wouldn't get it. Bye!

Todd Vote - Um... What is there to talk about? Let me see... I guess I could talk about the Fact or Fiction Tournament of Great Significance that is currently taking place over in the MMA zone. The tournament that I am still in. So if you like MMA, head on over to that zone and check out the tournament. I believe it winds down this week and next week so be sure to vote for who you think the winners are, but also remember, I am reppin' the games zone...



HIGH SCORE


PLAYER 1 WINS
WE'RE JUST LIKE DR PHIL
EXCEPT WE DON'T ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS
ACTUALLY, WE'RE MORE LIKE DR. HOUSE
HEY, HE GETS RESULTS.
COME BACK NEXT WEEK TO TRY AGAIN






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