Angry Gaming 07.17.06: Kiss & Spell - The Growth of MMO Dating
Posted by Damian Sarcuni on 07.17.2006
At first, it was cute. Then, it started getting silly. Now, it’s an epidemic. And very soon, it might just be the future of romance as we know it.
Welcome to Angry Gaming, a jaded, traditionalist look at the evolving changes modern video games are going through. I am your host, Damian Sarcuni and I've seen video games go through all sorts of changes from old school straight shooters like Golden Axe to whacked out insanity like Katamari Damacy. Sometimes changes are acceptable. Most of the time they aren't. Let's thin out the video game industry's crap together!
Kiss & Spell: The Growth of MMO Dating
The Situation
At first, it was cute. Then, it started getting silly. Now, it's an epidemic. And very soon, it might just be the future of romance as we know it.
Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games (MMRPG's or MMO's) are a giant leap in the evolutionary process of video games as we know them. When video games were first popular, a kind of society built around them – kids buying gamer magazines, hanging out at arcades, going over each other's houses to play. MMO's, however, allow players to form a society WITHIN the game. Now, often for a small fee, gamers can jump online and literally create their own virtual life with their friends. In addition to slaying the usual monsters and going on the usual adventures, gamers now buy clothes, build houses, and even… *gulp* …find love within the game.
The houses and clothes are just game elements, pixels on a screen, and innocent enough. But the love is disturbingly real. Since MMO's base themselves around real player interaction, virtual boy meets virtual girl is now an all too common love story. Literally hundreds if not thousands of relationships have formed in games like EverQuest, World of War Craft, Final Fantasy XI, and Lineage 2. While some of these relationships remain as strict fantasy, most cross over into the very real world of phone calls, in person meetings, all the way to real life marriage. Sometimes these online relationships even usurp existing real ones!
While I am an avid MMO player, I have never been in an MMO relationship. In the past I always wrote them off as hokey, nerds-in-love sort of situations. In the beginning, I may have been right. "/Kiss" is kind of a lame way of showing affection, and "you stole my rare drop item" is not the kind argument a healthy human relationship should be having. However, the sheer volume of online relationships is growing in number every day, and game developers literally have schedules backed up with things like online weddings and special in game features for couples. MMO love is here whether we like it or not, and no one can tell just how big it's going to grow.
The Investigation
As a 411 writer, I view it as my sworn duty to investigate and uncover the truth behind this growing geek romantic phenomenon. For starters, I present to you an interview I did with a real anonymous online couple (Heavily paraphrased with apologies to them. These two are of legal consenting age but still a few French Fries short of a happy meal, I admit it.)
DS: Ok, let's start with the beginning of the relationship in game form. What were you doing when you first met?
She: I remember our first meeting. He however doesn't.
He: Not true. A friend of ours asked me to go help some of his friends with a quest they were doing.
DS: MMO's focus on fantasy though, including the ability to create characters with different sexes. How did you both know the other person was really a boy/girl?
He: That's easy. From the way she types.
DS: Oh? Explain.
He: Uh... I don't know man. It was just like super girly writing.
She: I didn't know for sure at first... but his attitude towards others showed me that he was either a guy in real life or a girl with a foot in her ass.
DS: As far as gameplay, has it helped your relationship to grow at all? Have you experienced anything together such as final bosses, in game weddings, quests etc.
She: Weddings... no, we can't have one because the game developer's schedule is too backed up. Bosses and quests, yes, we did more together in one week than I did with my other friends for the past 8 months.
He: We've shared a lot both in game and in real life. We've had our rough spots but we've gotten through them and done lots of cool stuff together.
She: I think he's a tool in real life... but a good guy none the less from our experiences together overall.
DS: When did you first decide to contact each other outside of the game and how did you do it? Who initiated it?
She: We just sort of swapped phone numbers and had some "web cam" ventures following. But he asked for my info first, so I'd say he initiated it.
He: It was a little into our relationship. A phone call followed by web cam meeting. I guess she initiated it. I just followed up.
DS: So it wasn't long before you decided to move from a strictly game relationship to a real relationship?
She: It took some time... we grew into it really.
He: Again, it was a little into the relationship. It took some time but not forever.
She: We had to work out a lot of stuff before it escalated to that level though, but made it eventually.
He: And I'm awesome right?
She: No.
DS: Has anyone approached you in real life since you both met and have you turned them down because of it?
She: Yes, I've had several guys approach me, but I always blew men off to begin with, so that's nothing new. But being with him has given more "reason" to my actions.
He: Nope, I haven't but then again, I just tell everyone that I'm taken before they can say anything so it clears that problem up fast.
DS: Who would win in a fight, a raptor or a yeti?
He: Chuck Norris!
She: T-rex. Nah really though... a Raptor would own a yeti.
He: I'd have to agree there.
DS: Obviously there is a distance issue in most fantasy relationships. What are your plans upon meeting? Do you want to form a permanent relationship such as living together/marriage/etc as soon as you meet?
He: YES!!!!!
She: He does. With my real life, it's hectic and hard to say at this point in time to be honest.
He: I have no idea where she'll be at that time. I know I'm gonna have to be the one to move 'cause she doesn't want to move up here to Canada…
She: FUCK CANADA!
He: But most likely, just like in the game, it'll be whatever she wants to do for plans.
DS: Can I have some money?
He: Real money or in the game?
DS: Either.
She: For sex, sure.
He: No!
DS: Too late. It's a deal.
She: Pwned.
Websites like RPGFACES.COM are also instrumental in the development of MMO dating as we know it today. As more players put up their pictures and make small profiles on these sites, anyone who wants to move from fantasy to reality in a game relationship doesn't have a hard time doing so. Gone are the days of wondering if that sexy little elfish girl with the hentai name is everything she's cracked up to be (or if "she" is even a "she"). At the same time, parental groups such as the NECF are advising parents on monitoring MMO's and online dating as they would a normal chat room or internet site.
The Comparison
All of this leads to the inevitable questions: Is MMO dating a viable and successful method of finding love in today's modern world? Is it better or worse than real life dating? And as MMO's grow, how many more tales of true romance will begin with "So we were fighting this dragon…"?
To find out, I did a direct comparison between previous dates I have gone on with the type of dating done online. When dating, people look to gain certain things and are willing to give certain things in return, and that is objectively what dating is made of. I've broken your average date down into 5 categories. These are Sex, Money, Conversation, Physical activity, and Emotional Attachment. Whichever wins the most of these 5 categories has to be the superior dating forum, no? Let the death match of love begin!
Sex - Let's just get this out of the way. Cam all you want, online dating isn't going to get you laid anytime soon. By the same token, unless your partner is rather "giving" *ahem* or you find a powerful connection, it's going to be quite awhile before you achieve sex while dating in real life too. In the real world, this could be for any number of reasons, but in an MMO relationship the only official reason is distance. I'd rather believe I'm not getting any because of distance instead of my own shortcomings, so MMO's win this one.
Winner: MMO's.
Money - Last summer, I took a date to an amusement park. Altogether the night cost me about $200 including food, entertainment, gas, and any extras used to impress the girl such as gifts or a minor fashion statement. The full date lasts approximately 7-8 hours if you are lucky and conversation is either present or forced. Bear with me on the math here: MMO's cost an average of $15 per month which works out to 50 cents a day. If you have the same 8 hour date on an MMO, with the same amount or more it costs approximately 16 cents. To be fair, extras which might impress your partner now include virtual items and in game money. Now, game money isn't cheap. Assume a date with items and cute little "extras" costs approximately 6 million in game money (generous, I know). That can run in excess of $110 U.S. dollars. Let's even go crazy and splurge $75 so you can wire your date some money to order a pizza and buy your own. That means that your average MMO date costs $185.16, whereas a real date costs $200.00+. MMO's are cheaper, and cheaper is better.
Winner: MMO's.
Conversation - Talk is talk, and MMO's offer just as much of an array of topics to discuss as a real date does. The difference here is in the conversational format. MMO's consist of a series of "emotes" or character motions, avatars and screen names. While some people are more conversationally open and honest behind a computer screen, this is no substitute for human mannerism's and features. If your date is naturally shy, then that is a real trait you have to either accept or look past. I apologize, but no matter how voluptuous and buff game designers allow your character to look, it will never replace the feeling of looking into a person's eyes while talking to them.
Winner: Real Life.
Physical Activity - While MMO's do feature a ludicrous amount of game content, filled with stunning visuals and even some great story lines, it is rare that a memory of a game surpasses a real life memory you share with another person. Whereas games offer an experience sort of like an interactive movie, dates can lead anywhere…roller coasters, walks in the park, clubs and dancing, prison (I'll save that story for another day). MMO's are repetitious in nature, and a million quests in a game is still just one game.
Winner: Real Life.
Emotional Attachment - While still in college, I heard an amusing anecdote about an army officer who was married. His wife played EverQuest, met some guy in the game, divorced the officer, ran off and got married to the new guy without ever having met him in person. Supposedly they were married happily thereafter. HA!! Gamer > Sergeant! Emotional attachment in MMO's is scary. I have watched online couples argue over whether or not they truly mean it when they say "I love you". Having had that argument with my real life ex's, I can't honestly say whether the comfort of MMO's or the experience of real life lead to more emotional attachment. I apologize for the cop out, but this category and the match overall end in a…
DRAW.
The Conclusion
Today we learned that MMO dating is just as viable as real life dating. That is definitely saying something. In the past, MMO dating was a joke, a cute little feature designed to sell more video games. Now it has become an actual romantic device. MMO dating is growing and so are MMO's overall. Looking to the future, it's hard to say for certain that MMO dating will eclipse real life dating. But numbers don't lie, and if the current trend continues, soon all of us will be trading pixilated wedding rings and receiving private messages of congratulations on the blessed event. Think twice before you call that online dater a dreamer or loser, you could be next.
Personally, I wish game designers would delve even deeper into this relationship fiasco. Finish what you started, Sony! Bring on the virtual babies! The in game past due phone bills! Special event visits to the in laws! Let couples see just how far their cute little "relationship" will go, and then we'll see if your virtual love is true or not! Oh yes, we shall see…
