The Casual Gamer News Report 08.25.06
Posted by Steven Masters on 08.25.2006
Brought to you by motherf*ckin snakes on a motherf*ckin plane!
Hey all, once again, it's the text behind your screen known as Steven Masters, misinterpreting the news so you don't have to. I kid. And if you didn't go see Snakes on a Plane, you should slap yourself right…. about…now. What should have been the biggest debut in Box Office history instead placed somewhere other than first and it's YOUR fault. But that's another satire for another time. Today's News Report features the monster snowstorms, final fantasies, the Console War Update from the Front Line and the announcement of my very own NextGen System.
A little more about me
Guru of Modern Rock and Movies.
Loves Chinese and Mexican food
News of the Week Past Game Releases, Updates, and other Tidbits
My personal top story for the week is none other than Final freakin Fantasy 3 being released on the DS this November. I've played every title but this one and I will buy a DS just for it. Call me sad, desperate, whatever, but I've waited ten years for this to come out.
Madden '07 came out Monday night/Tuesday and American Football gamers rejoiced everywhere. And so did I, until I tried the career mode (which happens to be the main reason I play Madden). And then I let out a string of words you could not say in church. Playing the actual games in career mode is the single most frustrating thing I've encountered in a football game. Not being able to pick your plays, having to sit at my NCAA '07 star's POV, to being the last pick in the 3rd round of the draft despite winning 3 Heismans (and by the 49ers no less) …just everything about this game annoys me. As it were though, I did get used to it and started my dominance and recreated the 49er's glory days, albeit with a running game instead of passing.
In other news, Blizzard made headlines Thursday with hinting at StarCraft 2 and announcing yearly expansions for the World of Warcraft. This could be good or bad. Good that Warcraft remains to be one of the most played online games and can afford yearly expansions. Too bad that everyone else will get sick of updating it every year and having to shell out at least thirty bucks for the expansion. It would probably be cheaper to create a system you gotta pay for the online subscriptions and expansions, as well as getting little freebies every six months, exclusive offers, etc. But hey, not my choice.
And like last week's reported "WiiDiet" game, Mario Strikers Charged has been announced, but nothing else. Nintendo remains shady about many of their products, but personally, I think it's the right idea. I mean, Sony saw the Wiimote's full 3D functionality and got rid of their DualShock in favor of a controller that seems like a cheap ripoff of the Wiimote.
Nintendo also confirmed my suspicions that the Wiimote would control Link's slashes in the upcoming Zelda: Twilight Princess. Initially, they said it would, then changed it to the "B" button controlling the slashes. Miyamoto announced earlier this week that they changed it back to make the game more interesting. The "B" button now shoots arrows instead. Miyamoto still stands by his word claiming this will be the best Zelda ever. I don't know about you, but when I play Zelda, I swing my sword a lot. I mean a lot. And at random times for now reason. This seems to be the cure for that, as I'm sure I will not want to be swinging that damn remote around like a moron all the time. If nothing, the Wii will be a private console.
Still on the WiiBoat, Nintendo has announced Battalion Wars 2 for the Wii. Looks interesting, as you get to command..well..battalions, drive tanks, and do the same things you do in every war-action game. Only different because, you see, it also relies on the Wiimote+Nunchaku combo. Get the 411 here
Finally reporting elsewhere, FIFA07 and PE6 look to be 360-exclusive. This is good news for Microsoft, due in large part to big sales of soccer games in every major region except the US. Because the people here don't know good sports when they see it.
Remember Area 51? That kickass game in the arcade with agents of the Gov. and aliens? Yeah, Midway has a sequel to that confirmed using the Unreal engine, as well as a game called Criminal on the same engine. Area 52 = good. Criminal, I'm not so sure about. But then, I haven't heard much on it, so it's a bit early to say. Want to know more?
Console War Updates: The Front Line
Sony (PS3, PSP)
Sony has announced they will launch 70k PS3s for every major region (US, Japan, Europe). The expect a lot of people to go home crying and empty handed because they don't get an overpriced media hub. They expect to ship 4 million by the end of the year. That's all fine and dandy for Sony…if they sell them all. Chances are, the casual gamer will walk in, see the price tag on the PS3, look behind them and see the tag on the Premium 360, and then go down three aisles and see the tag on the Wii and buy one of the latter ones. Or both of them for that matter, if they've been saving up for the PS3. Want to know more? Get the full 411 article here
X360
Nothing of note for the 360 this week....again.
Wii
The Wii at $170? Holy under-priced child hookers Batman! Whoops…wrong article. But seriously, this would give Nintendo a HUGE advantage over the 360 and the PS3. I mean, Sony's media hub is 600 bucks. Microsoft's 360 is 300 for the core model, meaning no playing Xbox games, gotta buy a memory card and a second controller for those multiplayer games and whatnot. The premium model is an extra hundred bucks and comes with the harddrive, headset, wireless controller, etc. Chances are with the Wii, the $170 will be tempting, but most casual gamers will probably be turned off by the lack of tradition is the controllers.
Goooo Readers
This is the part where I need a section. I have some ideas, but
I want to know YOURS first, to better entertain you, my loyal
pledges...err...readers. So, mail in an idea you have to toss in here and if I
like it, you may see it here as part of a weekly feature.
The Early Morning Stoned Pimp is Here Check out the other guy's columns from the last week
