Hardcore Haven 09.08.06: Feedback
Posted by Joel Beggs on 09.08.2006
Let's see what some readers think is hardcore, then get on with the EXCITING task of waiting for next week's BETTER column!
This is your Hardcore Haven, clocking in with a decidedly less hardcore column than usual. Yes indeed, the ravages of a stocktake have had their effect; counting 53 copies of Brute Force and 9,725,045 dirty old Halo's has hampered my creative output.
To pad things out, here's a little bit of feedback from last week, as people clamoured in vain to have their most hardcore moment of all time broadcast to the masses. This first missive was delivered by "Matthew", who took personal issue with Aeris' death taking the top spot.
Mr. Beggs,
My name is Matthew. I've been reading 411 for years. I read the wrestling zone 3-5 times a day and when there's no new news, I peruse the movies and games section. Overall I enjoy the vast number of writers and takes on pop culture.
I have never written anyone on this site. EVER. Oh I've been tempted, big issues like Eddie's death, to little ones like spelling mistakes....never written till now.
I read your articles on hardcore gaming. Being so 'hardcore' I have a Mortal Kombat logo tattoo on my shoulder. I've played everything from atari on up. I read your list...
Gimmie a break.
When I read #2 River City Ransom, I knew you were smart. Only Ultra hardcore players know of that game, and the fact there was no save feature meant you were dedicating a NIGHT to trying to beat it. When I read that I felt a kinship... no problem I already knew what number one had to be...scroll down...
WHERE THE FUCK IS STREET FIGHTER II?
You know, the game so hardcore they managed to re-release it like 100 times and STILL players played it? the game that managed to release itself on SNES THREE times and post over 1000000 copies sold of EVERY version? Nothing against FF7, loved it, and very hardcore, but an omission like this is terrible. Turn in your nerd badge.
Recognising the sheer ass-kicking, jaw-smashing, eye-poking brilliance is undoubtedly a true sign of the hardcore. But unfortunately there is just no room in hardcore heaven for this dead old series. I have long held the point of view that there are only three truly hardcore elements to the Street Fighters.
1. Balrog's multiple head butts.
2. Balrog's shirt ripping off after a well-fought victory.
3. Balrog.
Perhaps if the Street Fighter franchise could have branched out into something more Balrog-centric. It's always good to share the love for River City, but suggesting that the likes of Edmund Honda and Zangief should be ranked above it is preposterous. My nerd badge is staying locked away in the drawer that houses my hardcore gaming related possessions. It'll stay in there alongside my mint condition penis and my sociability. The only way you're getting that badge is if you can pry it from my cold, dead hands (once the heart disease kicks in).
Other feedback saw 411 Games mainstay Sean McCabe proffering viewpoints of his own.
It's that guy from the Retrospective here, and I want to talk about two of the harcore moments from this week.
Ninja freakin' Gaiden. The Chuck Norris of action games as far as I'm concerned. (Devil May Cry is the Mr. T) I fortunately am no average Xbox gamer (I detest Halo and Bioware RPGs for two things) and therefore I was able to beat this game. It almost broke me in the first Alma battle though, but once I finally defeated her, the rest of the game clicked, and I proceeded to slash my way to the very end and make the game my bitch. A very fun, very hardcore game definitely.
And the other moment I wanted to talk about... Aeris's death. I yawned during it personally. She was really bland... so was Cloud, so it's hard to care about her death. Any guy in their right mind would have lusted after Tifa anyway. She had breasts.
No, a true hardcore emotional moment is the ending to Shadow Hearts, and the ending to it's sequel, Covenant. Now I'll admit that Alice wasn't really any more interesting than Aeris, but Yuri on the other hand has real character, probably the only main character of a J-RPG to be something other than a punk kid loser or a stereotypical badass loner (Though he was a badass loner, just not a stereotypical one). Seeing his attempt to bring Alice back to life in Covenant fail is the epitome of sadness really. And what luck, some searching on Youtube brings up the very scene I am talking about
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIuo6s5_YeM
Watch and realise, that this is a game that is a game with superior writing to just about any Final Fantasy, or any Square Enix game for that matter. I mean, what is hardcore about FFVII? Everybody's played it. That is a lot more hardcore as far as I'm concerned. And I actually did cry a bit during the games bad ending, which was far more definite and tragic than FFVII's ending. I challenge everyone reading this to try and find both Shadow Hearts and Shadow Hearts: Covenant, play them through and beat them, and say I'm wrong. And it does have to be both; it's basically a two part story.
This McCabe fellow seems to know a thing or two of the hardcore way. His columns are worth checking out, if you can ignore the obvious hard-ons that he gets from playing Zelda games.
As for Shadow Hearts, some guy offered me the chance to buy a copy of it for like 20 bucks, and I thought that was pretty cool and I almost went for it. But this other guy standing next to him had heaps and heaps of Doritos for the same price. I made my choice and I stand by it, but these games seem worth checking out at some stage. So if you're looking to pad out your hardcore resume then Shadow Hearts might be the way to go.
Now that we've established which games you should all be playing, and which fictional boxer should be appearing in your dreams (Hint: It's Balrog). It's time for you all to get off your computer chair and do what you do best: wander over to your couches, plop your fat, hardcore arses down and play some damn games.
Many thanks go to Matthew and Sean for writing 70% of my column for me. Maybe next week I'll have something to say about the hardcore wait I'll be enduring, as the Playstation 3 makes it's agonisingly slow trip to Australia. Or maybe I'll spend the next six months thinking of Aeris and crying into my pillow. :(
