No you didn't suddenly sleep through Monday. My news report is now going to be on Mondays. My secret plan to slowly take over 411Games is coming to fruition! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha! Anyways, with a new day comes new stuff as I am working on some new weekly features and trying to be more opinionated on the news as lately I'd just say one sentence and move on.Also, with the almost sudden change of date I won't be covering the final part of the CGI until next week. Besides, I have something much more interesting to talk about that you've probably been hearing from your friends. A new energy drink on the market called "Cocaine", hyped as giving 350% more energy than Red Bull. I was actually able to find and drink one, and after the news I shall share with you my "Cocaine Chronicles".
Big News
TODAY'S "DUMBASS SENATOR OF THE DAY" AWARD GOES TO... [credit: Gamasutra]
The US Senate has proposed new legislation that would place tougher requirements on the ESRB, including mandatory hands-on time with rated games, and put the body under the watch of the Government Accountability Office. The bill, known as the "Truth in Video Game Rating Act", was proposed by Senator Sam Brownback.
This act would acquire people of the ESRB to actually play the games thoroughly instead of just watching video demonstrations. One can only imagine how much people it's going to take to cover EVERY SINGLE GAME getting released and having to be played hours and days on end. Take a look at our October Games Roundtable. Now, imagine having to play every one of those games through. This to me would make rating games WAAAAAY more difficult. The only people would play hours and days on end are real gamers, and real gamers are probably the worst people to rate games. Think about it: you take a real gamer that's used to playing Halo and Resident Evil so many times that the violent content in games to him isn't much, and so an M-rated game will probably wind up getting an E-10+ rating. I see nothing but problems if this bill passes. Between this and the Net Neutrality act, the US Senate and Congress really suck.
And what does Brownback have to say? "The current video game ratings system needs improvement because reviewers do not see the full content of games and don't even play the games they are supposed to rate," said Brownback. "For video game ratings to be meaningful and worthy of a parent's trust, the game ratings must be more objective and accurate."
Translation: We still can't over the whole Hot Coffee mod and have to blame everybody we can as soon as possible.
THE MADDEN CURSE STRIKES AGAIN! [credit: Gamespy]
This curse has been running for so long that you'd think professional athletes would learn their lesson by now. But alas, Seattle Seahawks' Shaun Alexander decided to grace the cover of Madden NFL '07. Then last week, Seahawks coach Mike Holmgren announced that the star running back will be benched indefinitely due to a cracked bone in his left foot.
So beware football players and fans alike, for the Madden Curse is real! Seven years straight of the best football players having a bad season because they grace the cover of that damned game!
I OFFICIALLY KIND OF CALLED SOMETHING SORT OF MAYBE! [credit: Gamespy]
Here's what I wrote from my Gaming Trends column on "Drunk Uncle" games: Halo has always been a perfect franchise so far, so it's just bound to eventually "Jump the Shark" (or maybe "Jump the GameShark"?). Microsoft has announced it's own portable device, so Halo may be ported over. My prediction? It's going to suffer major problems. Like some PSP games, the handheld may not feel right because of the different controls and could have horrible graphics. The storyline will have little or nothing to do with the canon. Bungie, already tired out from making three Halo games, may wind up just half-assing this one or just letting some unknown developer take over that have no idea what they're doing.
And then what do I hear news about? That another Halo game is going to be made, an RTS spin-off called "Halo Wars". The game will be a sort of prequel and takes place during early UNSC encounters with the Covenant. You'll lead the crew of the UNSC "Spirit of Fire" into combat and have access to Halo vehicles such as Warthogs and Scorpions.
Of course it wasn't exactly like I said, but I did sort of mention of how another Halo game would be made. So technically...I'm like 10% right! While that's not good enough to do a Larry Csonka style of gloating, I'm sure it's good enough for like...uh...a Shawn Struck style of gloating?
YET ANOTHER GTA MURDER LAWSUIT [credit: Chicago Sun-Times]
Yep, seems someone else played GTA and went on a killing spree. This time it was a 14-year-old kid in 2004 named Cody Posey who killed his father, stepmother, and stepsister. The families of the victims are suing Sony, Take-Two, and Rockstar in a...well this is just hilarious..."civil conspiracy" to train Posey to be a killer and are suing for...you've got to be kidding me...$600 million. So, like, if they knew this kid played such a game, did it NOT occur to them to do something before this happened? And guess who the lawyer is? None other then the person known for making fun of gamers themselves, both alive and dead, Jack "Ass" Thompson.
According to the suit, the game taught him "how to point and shoot a gun in a fashion making him an extraordinarily effective killer without teaching him any of the constraints or responsibilities needed to inhibit such a killing capacity."
You know, I've played plenty of shooting games over the years. Goldeneye, Unreal Tournament, GTA Vice City, and Silent Scope were some. But you know what? I seriously doubt that if I were given a gun, I can suddenly know how to shoot one. I may be somewhat good in Silent Scope, but I doubt I should go up to the army and promote myself as an elite sniper because I spent "hundreds of hours on Silent Scope lol." And I'm amazed that, with all these accusations of GTA as "murder simulators" that the government has decided not to use these to train our soldiers. Hey, if teenagers can became skilled killers with these games, why NOT use it on our soldiers? Maybe that's why Saddam Hussein wanted 6,000 PS2s. Could also explain why we're getting our asses kicked in the war against nobody.
Here's an item straight from the article at the Chicago Sun-Times: "Posey had told police he shot his family after his father, the ranch foreman, slapped him for not cleaning horse stalls fast enough. Prosecutors described Posey as a ruthless killer, but his lawyers claimed his father had abused him for years."
I have my own theory of why people think games cause kids to kill. What these people get confused is that violent games do not cause the people to kill, they just simply give them the inspiration of what they already feel. Let me give an example. Say someone who has absolutely no experience playing football decides to one day play Madden. If he played for hours and hours, do you think he'll suddenly be a great football player? No, because he doesn't care about playing football in real life. Now let's say this kid is actually someone who does play football, but needs some kind of inspiration to give him better ideas. Now that is when playing Madden a whole lot would probably do that, as this kid would pay a lot more attention to detail of what happens in the game. I believe after he had been put through, Posey already decided deep down that he wanted to kill his father. So when he played GTA, he suddenly started paying REAL close attention on how to do it. I believe that even without GTA he still would've killed someone, just in a totally different manner.
Anyways, I do feel bad for the families victims for losing their loved ones. But seriously, trying to pin it all on one video game for everything instead of actually investigating into the personality and mind of this kid is complete bullshit. And Jack Thompson is just senile.
Tidbit News
-A survey from Immersion Corporation suggests that since Sony's PS3 controller won't have the rumble feature, people won't buy the PS3. Then again, these are from the people who create rumble feature in controllers. So their survey to me is...well, for a lack of a decent metaphor...shit. [credit: Slashdot]
-Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion is coming to the Playstation 3 and PSP. One of these days I need to make a list of all the reasons to buy and not buy a PS3. [credit: Gamepro.com]
-Microsoft's Zune, a 30GB media player, is being released November 14th for $249.99. Sorry Zune, but my $249.99 has a "Reserved for Wii" sign on it. Oh who I am kidding, I don't have $249.99. [credit: Gamasutra]
-Capcom executive Kazuhiko Abe talked about how Capcom is thinking of reusing the same game engines to lower developer costs for the next-gen systems rather then create a new game engine for each game. Uh...don't they already do that? [credit: Gamasutra]
-DS Games are so popular in Japan (as if you couldn't tell by the Top Ten Sales every week) that Nintendo suffered a shortage in plastic packaging, so for now they're using cardboard box style packages of the same size for games. Nintendo could put their games in Ziploc bags and people would still freaking buy them. [credit: Gamasutra]
-Microsoft has finally admitted that they really did F-up the launch of the Xbox 360 by saying that the failure rates of the early systems were "higher than usual," so they're offereing free repairs and refunds. Now if only Sony could admit that their very cheap Blu-Ray player sucks. [credit: Next-Gen.biz]
-"Gamers The Movie" is coming out on November 5th for $16.99. This indy movie is a comedy about a group of friends that have played a role playing game called "Demons, Nymphs and Dragons" for the past 23 years and are trying to break the world record for playing over 74,558 hours. This movie has gotten lots of great reviews, so if you happen to see it, check it out. Perhaps one day you'll see a review for it here at 411Games. [credit: Dignews.com]
-Dragonball Z: Clash of Saiyans 2 is coming out for the Gamecube October 10th. Oh wait, I read that wrong. It says Naruto: Clash of Ninja 2 is coming out. Sometimes I get these two mixed up. [credit: Dignews.com]
-Capcom has announced another spin-off to the Mega Man franchise: Mega Man Star Force. It's basically Battle Network but with THREE different versions coming out instead of two. You know, because Mega Man didn't suck enough these days. [credit: Dignews.com]
-Rockstar announced a new game in the works called L.A. Noire, a quote "ground-breaking next generation crime thriller". So how long until Jack(ass) Thompson sues someone for this game? [credit: Dignews.com]
-Nintendo plans to have one million Wiis for the North American Launch and have four million Wiis sold worldwide by the end of 2006. Compared to Xbox 360's 358,000 unit launch and Sony's upcoming 400,000 unit launch for the PS3, the Wii launch is already looking good. [credit: Gamedaily, IGN, Gamasutra]
-South Park is going to an episode dealing with World of Warcraft. If the episode winds up sucking, at least you'll have chicken. Check out the preview. [credit: Evil Avatar]
The Other Crap
OMG FEEDBACK?
Last week I asked if there are any Sony fanboys left. One man e-mailed me to provide inspiring words. This is Alex O'Keeffe, a Sony loyalist.
i wouldnt consider myself a fanboi, but i'm looking forward to the PS3's release....despite the fact that i probably wont see it till easter.
"why?" you might ask. Well I'll tell you. It's not a question of who's got the better system.. who's got the best games.. who's got the most money. No. None of that. It's all about loyalty.
Ever sinse i had the old grey box back in the '96 (wow, its been 10 years..bugger me) I've only been interested in it. It even nudged out the Sega Mega Drive in terms of play time... and I useta play that for a good long while (and still do... ok, maybe I am a fan boy). It had (in my opinion) the best range of games.. from the Crash Bandicoots to the Metal Gear Solids to the SmackDown!s to the Micro Machines..es. Nintendo 64/Game Cube was too kiddy (tho i do say that Banjo Tooie kicked ass) and X-Box was either Racing Games or Shooting Games. They are ok for a while, but to be honest.. once youve shot an AK in 1 game, youve shot it in every game with AK's.. and shiny cars crashing and going around corners gets old fast too. Does anybody still play Burnout?
See, the Sony had the characters, the controller, which in my opinon is good that its not changed because those playing the PS2 can adjust very quickly and most importantly.. because i said so!!!!
Ok, i probably made no sense, but my point is that its like... once you pick your side, theres no swapping... its like.. those Rock fans who long to hear " IF YA SMELL......" over the raw arena despite the fact that they know he's sold out for good..like those Pac fans who have everything crossed in anticipation for him to come back.. despite the fact that if he was alive, he'd not have kept quiet after Biggie got popped..and its like the Sonic Fans who cream at every new Sonic game before they realise that sega just dont care anymore..yet they still beat themselves off because he's still their hero.
so, to summarise... sony rulz my world 96 onwards, because I love it and always will. no likeie? suck my balls.
<333 Sony
Inspiring words indeed.
I KILL SHAWN STRUCK
Shawn Struck apparently dies a little every time I call the Wii Remote the "Wiimote". Therefore I will continue saying the word "Wiimote" until the man is driven to insanity! Then his Saturday Friday news spot will be MINE! Ha ha ha I'm so evil lol.
PROGESS GAMING:How far I got into the game I'm playing. Game I'm progessing in: Yu-Gi-Oh World Championship 2006.
Right now I'm trying to get 99% in the game (I'll never be able to complete the "Huge Revolution" theme because of a damn glitch.). The only theme duels I have left are "10x Counter", "Dark Scorpion Combination", and "Dark Sage". I don't really need help right now, but if anybody has this game and would like to offer some advice, drop me a line. Also, since I've unlocked Copycat I can face any of my own decks. Are your decks as good as mine? Send them in!
JACK(ASS) THOMPSON VS...
Uwe Boll kicked the critic's asses like he said he would. For that I now have a new kind of respect for the man, even if his video game movies still suck. Meanwhile, Jack(ass) Thompson is still complaining like a bitch about violent video games. Unlike Uwe Boll, he doesn't step up to challenge those who hate him in a fight, and in fact actually backed down from a challenge he created himself (the "modest proposal" scandel). So since Thompson isn't going to start a fight, I'm going to make them up. Here are some competitors I'd like to see Thompson go up against.
Jack(ass) Thompson vs. Penny Arcade
Thompson puts out a $10,000 challenge for big time developers to create a game where a gamer goes insane from playing too many games and kills other gamers. So while the big-time developers decided to ignore him, an independent developer called Thompsonsoft "consisting of 3 alcoholics and a foreign exchange student", decided to make their own game based on Thompson's idea. Thompson refused to give them the money because they weren't a big time developer. So the people at Penny Arcade decided to donate $10,000 in Jack's name to a children's charity. Thompson then tried to get those two arrested.
Hey Jack! Instead of trying to get them arrested, why not put up your dukes and fight like a man? To make this match even sweeter, the winners will get $10,000 to do anything they want with it.
Jack(ass) Thompson vs. Joe Lieberman
Before Jack Thompson made headlines for hating games, that role used to be for Joe Lieberman. But honestly, to Lieberman's credit, the reason he was going after violent games what because there was no official way for regulating games to kids, and so it was partly thanks to him that we have the ESRB, which Lieberman has praised many times. Thompson thinks he's the modern day Lieberman, but even though Lieberman still hates violent games being made and marketed, he at least as the diginity to not personally attack gamers.
I'd like to see Lieberman just go up to Thompson and bitch slap him for making senators and lawyers look like total idiots about video games. "Jumpin" Joe Lieberman vs. Jack "ass" Thompson, live on pay-per-view!
Jack(ass) Thompson vs. Flowers for Jack
Gamers, in their immature state of mind, constantly prank call and leave death threats for Jack Thompson. Saying in a forum is one thing. Actually do it makes you an idiot and makes us gamers look bad. So two gamers decided to try and approach Jack in a mature way by sending him dozens of flowers and a letter requesting an open dialouge for him and the gamers. Thompson didn't even bother to read the letter and sent the flowers back to various companies he's suing against.
So even when gamers DO try to act mature, Thompson simply won't listen. Well, if we can't do this in a mature PEACEFUL manner, I say we let the people behind Flowers for Jack settle it in a mature VIOLENT manner.
Jack(ass) Thompson vs. The people of MetalGearSolid.org
With many gamers calling Thompson's house with pranks and death threats, it easy to call them immature for their actions. Thompson could easily make himself look like the truly mature and smarter one by not lowering himself to these standards. But guess what? He actually did something very similar. Back in January '06, a very depressed gamer had announced his suicide on the forum of metalgearsolid.org before committing in. Here's how Jack Thompson decided to reply:
Your "gamer friend" will find peace through the Lord, Jesus Christ, but sadly it's too late for that. There is a void in every heart. You can fill it up with the things of God, or the things not of God. This unfortunate soul chose to fill it up with combat games. The playing of these video games is masturbatory activity, meaning senseless self-stimulation. If you gamers could use a dictionary you would know that that term is not necessarily a sexual one. The real tragedy here extends beyond the life and death of this one fellow. There are literally millions of young people and young adults whose despair is deepend by turning to the things of this world and then finding them meaningless. All of you gamers need to put down the controllers and get a life. The utter inanity of the vast majority of postings here shows how vapid "gaming" really is. You are one of the cheerleaders for this wasting of time and the wasting of lives. Do you feel any remorse for having contributed to this "culture of death?" Of course not. Hey, let's all play MORE games, and ignore all the really productive things to do with our lives. Let's pretend to be shocked that a gamer might descend into deeper depression, as his gamer "buds," knowing he was killing himself, couldn't figure out how to call 911 themselves for him. That would have involved leaving their computers I guess. Sad. Sad for all of you."
Personal opinions about suicide aside, this was clearly the biggest low for Jack Thompson, and nothing would be sweeter then to have the entire MGS.org forum beat the living crap out of him.
Who'd you like to see Jack Thompson fight? Or better yet, what other person gamers hate would you like to see fight? Drop me a line!
OBJECTION!
Create your own Phoenix Wright "Objection!" speech. Don't like Phoenix Wright? Edgeworth, Karma, and about 30 different Mia Feys are also available. CLICKETY CLICK!
QUICKY OTHERLY GAME REVIEWS: Reviews of games not in video format. Today I'll be looking at one of the most popular flash games on the internet: Exmortis.
Exmortis 1 & 2
Format: Flash
Genre: Adventure/Horror
"What was, what is and what will be."
Story: You wake up in the woods with no memory of how you got there. The only thing you remember are these images in your head of people being brutally murdered. You find a house and decide to enter there to get away from the cold woods. Once in the house you start to learn of the people killed there and of these supernatural beings called the Exmortis, who want to take over the Earth as they did before humans were born.
The truly best thing about this game is the story. I won't go into details about it in an effort to not spoil it, but it's really awesome. The first game is a standard point and click adventure with a few horrifying moments. The looks and sounds of it definitely provides a horror atmosphere. Of course if you're used to horror movies and aren't scared easily, then the first game won't seem much to you. It also doesn't help when you can just press the tab key to find all the things you're supposed to click. Besides the gameplay flaws, the story is good so it's worth playing through the first one.
The second one, however, is when things get a whole lot better. For one thing, there are more times when you'll die if you take too long trying to take action, and don't think the tab key will help because that's been disabled. The story is a continuation of the first one and adds an even more horrific atmosphere to the game. With a better look, more different interactions, and a better challenge, the second version is a game worth playing through.
Overall, these are two games that you'll really enjoy, and I can't wait for the third game in the series.
Guys whose jobs I will steal! Mwa ha ha ha ha!
Your NEW 411 Game News Team:
Tommy Coloma with The Negative Edge
Shawn Struck with his FINAL ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A (Start) News
Caleb Newby with News from Bitopia
Select your Column:
Will Scott now discusses about the PSP
411Games' Top 5 -
HERE COMES A NEW CHALLENGER!
What's this? Apparently we have a new writer here at 411Games. His name is Theo Fraser, and he's going to be doing a column based on a certain company. Tune in this week for our new columist.
Jordan Williams goes Hollywood in Working Title
Reviews:
Mega Man ZX by Damian Sarcuni
Disgaea 2: Cursed Memories by Shawn Struck
Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Rescue Team Blue by Sean Garmer
Previews:
It seems Armando Rodriquez has taken over the preview section. Check out his previews of:
Excite Truck
Project Sylpheed
Madden 07 for the Wii
Elebits
Well, there's the new look for the Select and Start News Report. If you're interested in hearing my chornicles of drinking the "Cocaine" energy drink, read on. See you next week.
One man's journey of finding a drink said to be 3.5 times greater then that of Red Bull (with over-dramatic overtone to boot).There I was in the student lounge, relaxing from the classes with my fellow brethen (I used a big word lol) when one person claimed that a new drink was hitting the streets with a very strange name. The name of this drink was "Cocaine".
The others looked at this man as if he had been taking the drug of the same name. A drink called Cocaine? Impossible! Never! Who would create such a drink?! But after spending time deeply researching this man's claims (aka spending a minute on Google), sure enough, the drink was REAL.
But it wasn't just any drink. For it was an energy drink that claim to be 3.5 times more powerful then Red Bull. More powerful then Red Bull? The drink that was already known as "cocaine in a can"? The drink which one man claimed to have stayed up for three days straight from consuming? It was madness! No sane or intelligent man would buy such a drink entitled "Cocaine"! Who would dare take such risk?!
I took that dare.
I quickly found a location that this drink would supposedly be found. It would be residing on an island with 8 million inhabitants with thousands of paths and distractions that would throw you off. I carefully drew out my map, prepared my supplies, and at 30 minutes before the strike of noon, I went off.
The journey was actually quite a peaceful one, though it was indeed long. As I was approaching my destination, I was came across something that had attacted the attention of many. I couldn't help but force myself to behold what was causing the stir.
Impressed by such a site, I could not help but give this man some compensation (aka I gave him a dollar). I went back to my path. Finally, I had reached spot X. The drink was there guarded by a merchant. After an exchange of $2.75, I journeyed home.
I had arrived back at the student lounge two hours after noon, where I took out the drink and shouted "Behold! I have found the mythical new drink!". The men were astounded by my find. The man who had originally brought up the tale of this drink quickly shouted "I dare you to consume that which is said to be a curse!" After deciding to showboat my discovery, I found myself having no choice but to take such dare.
There on the side were the markings of it's claim.
I openned the drink and looked inside. There it was, a purple-pinkish color, in all of it's 8.4 FL oz. glory.
I slowly lifted the can, poured the Cocaine in my mouth, and savored the taste before swallowing. Very quickly my mouth felt as if it had been burned! A little drop that had reached the back of my throat was starting to cause me great pain! I felt as if I needed water to wash away this curse!
But no! I decided to take it on full bore without the aid of natural water! Slowly but surely, I consumed all of that purple-pinkish liquid known as Cocaine. The burning feeling it had caused traveled down to my heart, then to my stomach, until about an hour later when the feeling subsided. But now what was to become of me? Would I stay up for days going mad? Would I be bending over a toilet in the restroom? I kept myself from letting the paranoia caused by the tales of this drink to get to me.
In the end, I did not a feel a sudden rush of any kind go through me. I did wake up at about 4:30 into the morning without feeling tired at all, but I rub it off as pure coinsidence.
(End overly dramatic overtone)
So yes, I found the drink, drank it, and felt weird for a couple hours but that was it. I don't know if it's because I have some kind of tolerance to caffeine or because it's how much I weigh or what. So if you decide to have this drink, be warned: Your mouth will burn and you're going to get some weird feelings. Thank you for reading my chronicles. Take it away mini Micheal Jackson!
Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it!
No one wants to be defeated!
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight!
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right!
Just beat it!
