Unlockable Content 12.06.06: Remaking the License
Posted by Will Scott on 12.06.2006
Licensed games usually suck. Ever wonder if you could do better?
Well, it's been a while, but I'm finally back with another edition of Unlockable Content. It's been a month since the last time I checked in, but what a crazy month it's been. No internet access for yours truly, thanks to a dispute between mother nature, myself, and the cable company. Now that everything's hooked up again, I've waded through a giant pile of e-mail and I'm back on top of my writing responsibilities here.
The good part about missing a month of the internet has been the ability to get back to concentrating on playing off-line video games. Rather than my usual addiction of World of WarCraft, I've knocked out a fair number of rentals and purchases. Sprinkled liberally amongst the wonderful and/or innovative games like Shadow of the Collossus and Marvel Ultimate Alliance have been some real disappointments. The worst part, for most of these games, is that they were licensed properties.
Granted, I suppose we shouldn't be surprised by things like this any longer. If the last twenty years or so have taught us anything, it's that TV or Movie to game translations generally don't work out too well. Sure, we occasionally get winners like Battle for Middle Earth II or the previously mentioned Ultimate Alliance, but we're more often left with steaming piles like Family Guy or even (god forbid) Superman 64. For the most part, these games have been seemingly been quickly thrown together pieces of garbage meant to capitalize quickly on the success of a hot franchise. As gamers, we're always slightly disappointed because we know they could've been better. Why, that sounds like an idea for a column, doesn't it?
So here's what I'll give you, over the course of the next month - how four games could've been done better. Two are brawlers, one's a hybrid, and the last is...well, a piece of crap, to be honest. I don't even know what to call it. Each'll be reviewed, dissected, and put back together.
But before we get to the good stuff...next week...let's take a look at the runners up, each from a different category.
Not Quite Up to Standards - Star Wars: Force Commander, Rogue Squadron III
Honestly, quite possibly the game that's disappointed me the most that didn't make the list. Poor camera, poor story, poor unit selection. However...this already got fixed by a later game, didn't it? Empire at War, in quite a few ways, can be looked at as the apology for this game. Rogue Squadron III, on the other hand, is simply a poor excuse of a flight game that's eclipsed by LucasArt's earlier flight games, such as TIE Fighter or X-Wing. Because the Star Wars universe has covered so much ground, almost every idea that's faltered (with the exception of the one I'll be covering) has a counterpart that's succeeded earlier or later in the series.
The vast majority of licensed games fall in to this category - games which are conceptually fine, but are lacking in the control, graphics, or story department. These games seem to be just on the cusp of doing something decent, but a lack of effort or budget (or perhaps just the necessity of rushing out the game while the property is hot) destroys the fun of the product.
Missing the Point - Superman 64
The epitome of the bad video game won't be altered here, because I've not yet played Superman Returns. Damn Blockbuster and their X-Box 360 rental policies...but I digress. Regardless, Superman Returns seems to at least promise most of the fixes I could come up with.
A number of licensed games simply miss the point of the license itself. A desire to adhere to the standard video game formula simply doesn't fit with these sorts of games, but these games aren't usually made to push the bounds of gamemaking.
Before Its Time - Jurassic Park
You know, these games weren't so much bad as disappointing. They were product of their times, and can't be judged too harshly for that. Nothing I can think of actually does justice to the concept - which is probably why the games don't feel right.
The early days of video games saw a glut of cheap licensed game, starring everyone from E.T. to the Noid. The games were generally greatly limited by the technology they were created to be played on. It's hard to say what these games should have been, simply because technology (and most of the licenses) have simply moved on.
Family Guy
This represents the vast family of video games that have no right being made. Face it - not everything translates in to a video game concept. I don't see anyone trying to make "Old School: The Official Game", even though the movie's funny as all get out...because it just doesn't work. I actually wracked my mind to figure out a TV show that works as poorly as a basis for a video game, and came up empty. Even Grey's Anatomy could work on as a dating sim/Trauma Center clone. I'd just like to throw in...somewhere, Seth McFarlane owes me seven bucks for having to sit through that game. It's my fault, I know, for renting it...but man, it was bad.
Regardless, those are the runners up. The four that made the cut are all good franchises that could have easily been improved, by either tweaking the format that was chosen or by trying something different.
In the mean time, enjoy your gaming and drop me a line. If you've got any personal favorites you'd like to see taken apart, or if you've got an idea of how to improve something, you can always get in contact with me. My e-mail inbox looks empty now, after checking several weeks worth of mail.
