The SIXAXIS 03.06.07
Posted by Andrew Mellick on 03.06.2007
We got news on what Sony has planned for the PS3, some more bad news for Europe, another old person who doesn't like video games, and the end of fierce battle. All that plus more, so what are you waiting for? Come on in!
It's where John Wayne would have gotten his Sony news.
Well this non stop ride to a frozen apocalypse just keeps on picking up speed. The fresh foot of snow was accompanied by another foot five days later. What's next? Most likely hail followed by famine. I love Minnesota.
On with the show!
From the Author: Can you find the quote from a bad horror movie in this weeks issue?
Sony News
The war is over!
After years of appeals, legislation, and maybe a few tears the lawsuit Immersion brought against Sony for its vibration feature in its controller is settled. Sony has agreed to give peace a chance to the tune of $150.3 million dollars. However, despite the whole suing thing, both companies have settled this on good turns and look to work together in the future.
"We look forward to exploring with Immersion exciting new ways to bring the largest and best range of game-play experiences to our customers," said President Kazuo Hirai
Victor Viegas, chief executive of Immersion, said he was "pleased to have put this litigation behind us." Going onto say "Our new business agreement with Sony Computer Entertainment is specifically intended to enable advanced vibration capability for the benefit of the PlayStation gaming community."
Interesting, so if I've got this right the vibrating controller is a last gen feature until you get your lawsuits settled, then it's the waive of the future. I wouldn't be surprised to see the "SIXAXIX vibrato" or something to that affect here within the next year. But what then? What exactly are advanced vibration capabilities? Could it be a vibrating PS3, something that will shake your very house? Could we be looking at electric shock? The possibilities are endless. But in the end gamers will all be asking the same question, "Can I stick it down my pants?" No? Just me? Oh, I'm so alone.
DOA girls: Can we play? Sony: Whore's don't get backwards compatibility!
Sorry Europe…again. So the whole backwards compatibility thing is going to hit you guys too. The story now is that Sony will be launching only PS3's without the "Emotion chip" that makes BC so easy. So, no choice, you simply take what Sony gives you and you damn well like it.
But fear not my British friends, Sony has a plan. A brand new idea, patches and updates, yes glorious patches and updates. Sony knows that there is nothing better than paying out the ass for a system only to have to download God knows how many updates to play games that your PS2 could run without a problem. I know consoles are trying to take over the computer market but this isn't really the part we gamers wanted to see in our systems.
So another day, another way Sony screws the Brits. But hey, it's not like you guys are used to making your own choices anyway. It's not a Democracy…is it a democracy? Oh, I'll be getting a curt letter from my history professor for this one.
Mama, Mama I'm comin' home
According to internet rumors, Sony is planning to launch something called "Playstation Home" very soon. It will be an avatar based interface that combines parts of Wii Miis and Xbox 360's Achievement system.
Here is how it'll work. You will play games like normal, however after you complete certain objectives you'll receive items based on that game that you can put in your "room". All this sounds very interesting, but perhaps the most interesting part is the fact that it's mandatory. That's right; all PS3s will have to work with this new enhancement.
So for all you guys out there, you better hope you can put a few of your "items" under your "bed" otherwise the world will know your My Little Pony Adventure fetish. No? Just me again? Damn it!
Imagine all the games you could buy with that money. I'd figure it out, but math is too hard.
Mr. Jay Cohen is the head of science and technology research at the U.S. Department of Homeland Security. He is blessed with a whopping $850 million dollar budget! However, even with that budget, he can't buy smart. Much like the Scarecrow in The Wizard of OZ he laments over the shortage of brains. Not because desires to be smarter or because he is a zombie and needs them for sustenance. No, the problem seems to be us. It's our brains that will cause the downfall of this country.
There's "a crisis in this country," said Cohen, which he described as a "PlayStation generation" of students who want immediate gratification and avoid math and science because it's too hard. He didn't back up his theory with any type of hard evidence, although in his defense he probably knew we wouldn't understand it anyway.
Video games are the new gangsta rap music for politicians it seems. Not that I agree with this guy, but hey at least we are mainstream right? At the end of the day it's just another cop out. If Mr. Cohen really believes what he says, then he should sink some of those big funds into creating a video game about homeland security. I can see it now "Resident Indifference".
New Releases
PS3
Another big week of launches for the PS3.
Motorstorm: I've been ogling this title for quite some time. I hope it can live up to the hype.
Def Jam: Icon: The third installment in the Def Jam series, makes its PS3 debut. I'm curious to see if it'll have any new tricks up its baggy sleeves.
NBA Street: Homecourt: Another successful series makes its first showing on the PS3. I hope this is better than the dreadful NBA ‘07. Of course a sixty dollar box with a cd of "Bill Walton life lessons" would be better than NBA ‘07.
PSP
Burnout Dominator: Reports say this game is more of a return to the roots of the series. Sounds like a blast.
Pimp my ride: Finally a game for the PSP worth playing. I have a feeling this game will pimp my dumpster.
Carol Vorderman's Sudoku: I can understand getting a celebrity to endorse your game, but who is Carol Vorderman? Are they just making up names now, like we will believe she is a Sudoku master? Watch out next week for "Dart throwin' with Handy Jack flash".
Prostroke Golfer: I didn't know there were any golf games with out Tiger or Woods in the title.
Survey of the week
This entire backward compatibility hullabaloo got me thinking will it really affect Sony's business? I ask you.
How do you think the PS3 launch in Europe will go?
Sellouts, long lines and violence like the US 6%
Successful but much less controversy 34%
Little more than a blip on the radar 27%
A huge steaming failure 33%
Wow, quite a few of you think it will be a failure. That's interesting. Personally I fall into the "Successful but much less controversy" group. I know it's an expensive system and all. But it's new and with all the anticipation I really don't see it not selling out in relatively short order. I guess time will tell.
Bargain Bin
WHAAA?!?!?! First Nintendo now Xbox, have you gone mad? No, no, no, the SIXAXIS has love for all good games. Of course the vast majority of those games are for Sony consoles, there are a few who slip through the cracks and fall to another system. This is just one such title.
Jade Empire is an action RPG coming out of the Bioware camp. The same People that brought you Knights of the Old Republic bring you a lesser known adventure set in ancient China.
You are a student training under the watchful eye of Master Li at the Two Rivers Academy. You are a very gifted warrior but your path is not yet chosen. It is up to you whether you will follow the "way of the open palm" or the "way of the closed fist". Your actions in the game determine what road you choose and have a significant affect on the outcome of the game.
The story is deep and the characters are multifaceted and interesting. The voice acting goes a long way to flesh that out. The game play, while not the most challenging, is fun and with a wide variety of upgrades and level ups the action doesn't get repetitive.
With a great story, fun game play, and lots to explore Jade Empire earns its spot on the coveted Bargain Bin roster.
Ebay: $ 8.99
Youtube Theatre
Here is a look at Def Jam: Icon. The graphics look pretty amazing, I hope the gameplay follows suit.
I don't want to cram pimpage
Damian comes in this week with a look at a few things gamers can expect/hate in the coming year. Check it out!
The Sam Fisher to my Snake brings you more Nintendophiles
Corri Moore brings you some fun on the hard wood (hehe, I'm dirty) in The Fun Factor.
