Angry Gaming 07.23.07: Diary of a S.T.A.L.K.E.R.

Posted by Damian Sarcuni on 07.23.2007

I waded through a pond of waist-deep toxic ooze and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.

Welcome to Angry Gaming, the Chris Benoit that stran-wh-what do you mean it's too soon?! The toxicology reports came back last week! It's over! Anyway, I'm your hate master, Damian Sarcuni and I'll touch you with the jab. Let's get it started.

I got some feedback from last week's article that deserves some print.

Hey,

I wanted to say that you're exactly right on pretty much all accounts. I love playing co-op games, but rarely do good co-op games happen. Army of Two looks promising, but what happens when you wanna play that game alone. Are you outta luck? Are you paired with a crappy A.I. teammate?

Some of the best gaming experiences I have ever had have happened when playing online games and your team actually pulls off a great plan that wins/opens up the game.

I played the Halo 3 beta a bunch when it was out, over 800 games played, and I loved it for the most part. However, if I ever got saddled with horrible teammates, or a team-killer I didn't want to quit for fear of losing RP points. In Halo 3, you can boot players for team-killing, but it seemed to work randomly. I would get team-killed three times before I could boot the guy, but when I kill someone once, accidentally, I would get booted, I know Bungie is still working ou the kinks, but it was very frustrating. At least you can mute players at will this time around.

Anyway, I think one problem with gaming in general, is that since every game rewards players for individual stats, no one ever wants to be the guy who just drives, or the guy who sacrifices his own life for the greater good. I always want to be the guy who sacrifices himself, but never do I ever get thanked/rewarded for it, even by my own teammates.

And another thing, (I know, soapbox time) I was THIS close to buying FFXI for 360, two of my best friends have it as well, but I didn't get it. The reason was, I knew I'd be frustrated trying to find parties and/or trying to do quests alone, so I didn't bother. Turns out it was a good move. I've watched my friends sit for hours and try to make the perfect party, only to gain little XP because someone has to leave the game for the real world.

Anyway, I think that the gaming culture (players and developpers), need to move in a co-operative direction if they truly want to further the gaming industry. Don't get me wrong, there are some great looking single-player games coming soon (Drake, GTA IV, MGS 4, for starters), but with the increase in online play and the power of these systems, the best way to play is to share.

Sincerely
Nathan S.

It's sort of funny but all those great upcoming single player games you mentioned would, in my opinion, benefit from co-op multiplayer modes even more so than some existing games would. Sure GTA IV looks great, but wouldn't it be so much cooler if you could go online and sign on with the Triads or the Russian mob and battle for control of Liberty City in a real time, 24 hour struggle for territory against other gangs. What about a mode in MGS4 where Snake and the Ninja finally team up to take down the Metal Gear super weapon once and for all? Hell even Drake screams FPS Double Dragon.

I agree with all of your points, and while I do think Bungie was smart to come up with their own voice muting system, the point is they shouldn't HAVE to. Xbox Live, at this stage of the game, should be refined enough to where purist gamers don't have to worry about trolls or team killers before heading into a match. As far as MMO's are concerned, while I do think companies are aware of the team play issues people have experienced, its gonna be a looooong road before we see a decent team play system incorporated into all of them. I actually think we'll see a World of Starcraft first.


Diary of a S.T.A.L.K.E.R.



Have you ever sat down with a copy of a new or newer computer game after having deftly researched its premise and read through the rave reviews of both professional game critics and your closest buddies? I have, and lately in lieu of my new home built computer system I've found myself doing that a lot more often. The great thing about PC's is that they open up a whole new world of mediocre games, cheap to buy and great to waste time with. In particular, I've been craving some survival horror action. So scarce are the decent survival horror games these days that I'm willing to play just about anything that involves mutants and zombies.

Enter S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl.

S.T.A.L.K.E.R. is a first person shooter which is awfully reminiscent of The Elder Scrolls with its wide open areas and various side quests. It focuses on a post-nuclear meltdown area known only as "the zone". There are lots of whacky things going on in the zone, as you can probably tell just from the skinless face on the cover of the game's box. After doing the necessary background work on the game, I loaded it up, ready to plunge myself into a world of freaks and post-apocalyptic horrors designed (like most games with nuclear-based premises) to teach me some ultimately useless life lesson and impart some warning that will leave me panicked with fear and make me a better person.

What I got was something different entirely. This week I would like to submit a record of my progress throughout the game of S.T.A.L.K.E.R. and hopefully figure out exactly where the game went wrong on me. Not that the game itself is awful, but as I played through it I became less and less enchanted with all it had to offer. Today, we find out why. Be warned, from here on in there be spoilers about.



Day 1

11pm - The game opens up with an enchanting visual. A truck is driving through a violent electric storm carrying several dead bodies in the back. The person driving (the main character) looks to be in a real panic as if trying to get to or away from something as fast as possible. Then, disaster strikes. A bolt of lightning from an anomaly strikes the truck and knocks it over, sending several of the dead and the driver onto the curbside. A man appears, realizes the driver is still alive, and brings him back to his boss. They revive him, and it is revealed that our hero is carrying a palm pilot on him which lists out his very simple mission: "KILL STRELOK". Unfortunately the driver has amnesia so not much else about his mission is revealed, but the locals agree to help you out provided you work for them. Keep in mind the game clearly offers you an image of both the main character and Strelok to go on. This will be important later.

And so the game starts. I listen to the introductory dialogue and make way for the outdoors. At this point my game settings are set to high. Foolish mortal that I am, I set them to maximum and exit the pause menu. After a period it becomes apparent my computer has crashed.

Midnight – Having rebooted my system and sat through the entire introduction again (this time at high graphics) I set out about town to talk to everyone in sight. The area is strangely grassy, not what I would expect a nuclear wasteland to look like at all. After receiving all the additional information I could possibly need I set about the task of figuring out my PDA map so I can understand where the hell I'm going. It takes about 10 minutes before I realize that the game is bugged and my map marker has magically shut itself off.

12:35am – I wander off to the bandit camp, avoiding a pack of vicious dogs in the grass. And here I was expecting mutant dogs, silly me. I also notice that the game has a very Diablo-esque equipment system. Carry too much and it slows you down or stops you altogether. This is why everyone made such a big deal about Elder Scrolls?

1am – I finish clearing out the bandit camp and return for my reward. It suddenly occurs to me there's no women in this entire game. Lazy developing or homoerotic commentary on the future? You decide.




Day 2

10am – I'm supposed to get past some sort of army blockage, but to do that I have to first get past a dark, sinister tunnel. When I go into the tunnel, I get shocked to death. I can't go around the tunnel, because then the radiation kills me.

11am – Ohhhhh the lightning disappeeeeears. Now I get it!

1pm – I finally get through the tunnel.

1:05pm – Words flash across my screen…MISSION FAILED. So apparently there's a time limit on side quests. Nice.

1:35pm – I head into the next "town" area and enter into an arena setting. I wind up losing my armor and weapons in the 2nd round. Then the game crashes again.



INTERNET CHECK 1 – I look through several online FAQ's to try and find out if the side quests are necessary to get the good ending of the game. After wading through several poorly written jokes about how great the FAQ writer is, it turns out there's 6 different endings and they all are really depressing. This is going to be great.

2:30pm – I'm up to the third "level" of the game and I've yet to see a single zombie. The mutants also leave something to be desired.

11pm – The game sends me into a scary dark sewer. I blow through it in about ten minutes, up until the end when I run into some super creature that has the ability to shoot mind bullets at me. Realizing my gun is having no effect, I run like the dickens.


Day 3

3pm – After several hours of play I'm finally surrounded by zombies. Unfortunately, the game also decided to make this area particularly devoid of ammo.

INTERNET CHECK 2 – It's 6pm and there's a big flashy thing in a lab shooting poo gas at me. All the doors are locked and I need to find an exit, turns out I have to shoot the big invisible flashy thing. It also turns out that the game manual has some special command that fixes the game's graphics and lengthens the loading times. It works. Why did they just not make this a part of the original installation?


Day 4

4pm – I'm coming up to the final mission of the game, which is some special stage that has me surrounded by deadly accurate soldiers. They're able to strike me down in one shot and there's a five minute time limit for me to reach my goal. I'm hidden behind cover, but every time I try to get out of cover or make a run for the goal I get killed and have to hit the quick load button. I'm a little worried because I know that hitting the button too many times or getting killed too fast will crash the game.

4:01:35 – I hit the quick load button.

4:01:45 – I hit the quick load button.

4:01:56 – I hit the quick load button.

4:01:59 – I hit the quick load button.

4:02:09 – I hit the quick load button.



INTERNET CHECK 3 – I'm now officially downloading a trainer for the game, allowing myself unlimited ammo and health. Running through a perpetually red screen, I make it to the goal and into the game's final stage.

4:36pm – There would NOT be this many people inside of a damn nuclear reactor.

5:01pm – I run up to the wish machine and push the F key. A cut scene showing the main character pops up. He says he wants the zone to disappear. Then he closes his eyes and the zone starts to disappear. Then he opens his eyes and they have no retinas. Then the credits roll and I mouth the letters "W T F."

INTERNET CHECK 4 – So I look up the other endings and read about how depressing they are. It also turns out that the game never answers whether or not you can kill Strelok, because apparently you ARE Strelok, despite the fact that there is a picture of Strelok and a picture of you and the two are completely different. The game also never explains why Strelok would be carrying around a PDA that says "Kill Strelok".



The Anger

And so I finish S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl with a sense of utter confusion and disappointment. The game wasn't particularly bad but was incredibly frustrating and convoluted in the end. I've heard there are already plans for a sequel, and I'm sure its possible more will be revealed about the story and the character of Strelok, but this made such a poor impression I doubt will be along for the ride. Until next time, embrace the hatred.