Angry Gaming 10.01.07: Real People of Stupidity
Posted by Damian Sarcuni on 10.01.2007
A musical tribute to helmets, Halo, and quite possibly the largest group of impulse buyers ever known to man.
Welcome to Angry Gaming, the flood virus infection that turns the gaming industry into mutants that resemble cauliflower. I am your hate master, Damian Sarcuni, and it took all of 24 hours before I caved in to run out and pick up an unreserved copy of Halo 3. Hoo-ah!
NOTE: I had intended to write a full column this week that was supposed to get away from the topic of first person shooters, but with the release of Halo 3, this idea popped into my head and I knew I just had to write it. We'll be back to the normal format next week. For now, enjoy the parody.
Real People of Stupidity
Angry Gaming presents: Real People of Stupidity.
Reeeeeeeal people of stupiiiiidity!
Today we salute you: Mr. I paid $120 for Halo 3: Legendary Edition.
Mr. I paid $120 for Halo 3: Legendary Edition!
Your love for the Halo franchise is so strong, you preordered a copy of the game over six months in advance, at double the asking price.
Ya didn't know the release date!
While others were still speculating over Bioshock, you were taking the initiative, trading in games and laying down money to get that precious piece of paper that said "My games deserve the best frills money can buy!
Who needs Dead Rising anyway?
And what did your extra $60 get you? Why, a $20 DVD, and an un-wearable plastic toy helmet!
My head's too biiiiiiiiiiiig!
You could have spent that money on food, bills, gifts, another game, even strippers, but would any of those have a picture of Master Chief on them?
I'd love to see a pole a dance like tha-at.
So sign on to Xbox Live and frag away Mr. I paid $120 for Halo 3: Legendary Edition, because while your impulse buys may keep you in the poor house, watching you frag away your frustration on deathmatch mode keeps us from crossing the obsessive gamer line.
Mr. I paid $120 for Halo 3: Leeeeeeeeeeegendary EditioOoOon!
Opinions do not reflect the majority of 411mania.com. Halo 3 is a trademark of Microsoft industries. Rated M for mature. Embrace the hatred responsibly. Angry Gaming Hate Club New York, New York local 11214.
