The Epic Column 10.13.07
Posted by Nathan Grayson on 10.13.2007
On this week's edition of The Epic Column, humanity fails to appease the whims of a psychotic dictator and suffers for it. Meanwhile, Electronic Arts spends money, games with obtuse titles are released, and monsters of a huntable variety take over the Wii. And it's all written with the wry sense of humor you've come to expect from your favorite (and only) 411 role playing game column!
You'd better be grateful. I'm not playing Final Fantasy Tactics: War of the Lions right now so that I can write this column. This has caused me to go into what could more or less be described as a state of withdrawal. Suffice it to say -- stop staring at me!! Ah, jeez, sorry about that it's the un-sated addiction talking. Or maybe the addiction's causing me to develop Tourette's syndrome. Whatever the case may be, I'm really disappointed in all four of the people who read this selection of words I write each week. I offered you participation in the Epic Column a single, radiant shot at unsurpassable glory and this is how you repay me? What do I mean? Well, you've probably guessed by now that no one responded to the question at the end of last week's column. On a more serious note, I probably should've allowed my readership to build up a little more before relying on it for a hypothetical section in the column. Nevertheless, you're going to be punished. This week, the Epic Column is under the rule of a tyrannical empire. So drag your grimy feet and slovenly hands out of the monster-ridden slave pits and get readin'.
Capitalism? I maniacally cackle at it. You won't be buying these new items!
Fury (PC)
MMORPGs and fast-paced, arena-based FPSes: two types of games that couldn't be more different even if they were called "chocolate" and "ketchup," respectively. Yet Fury aims to prove that they're two tastes that don't cause spontaneous vomiting when mixed together. Fury takes its character-building and high-fantasy setting from MMORPGs and mixes it in with the pacing and arena-style levels of a FPS. What we're left with is something of an elaboration on WOW's battlegrounds, except they make up the entire game, in this case. Character-advancement seems fairly flexible, with players able to acquire different skill sets as they progress and use them to ruthlessly humiliate their opponents. It all seems very interesting, but hopefully it won't end up being only that. The game is purely PVP-based, and thus, it could quickly become boring. Of course, the mark of great game design is in a game's ability to keep its player enthralled despite the fact that they may be doing the same limited action repeatedly. So who knows? This could become Counterstrike for the renaissance faire set.
Avatar: The Last Airbender The Burning Earth (XB360, PS2, Wii)
Aang and pals are appearing in another game, only this time that game's title contains both a colon and a double-dash. Really, with names like these, why would anyone even use a numeral-based naming scheme for a game ever again? By making the title long and convoluted, the super-duper naming team reduces the chance that any gamer should ever forget the title of the game! It makes so much sense I can actually taste it with my ears! It's that incredible of an idea!
Title-ranting aside, Avatar looks to be almost exactly like its predecessor gameplay-wise, but with a new story and levels to accompany it. In other words, Avatar is a quaint action-RPG with almost no depth and characters that are nearly interchangeable outside of some obligatory special attacks. If you're a member of the Aang Gang (totally awesome because it rhymes!) then you'll probably find some redeeming quality in this obvious cash-in. If not, well, you probably aren't even reading this section of the column.
Things that happened while I was quashing your rebellious uprisings and torturing your so-called saviors
Bioware Taken Over by Kefka I mean, Electronic Arts
In the gaming equivalent to having your birthday cake spit-on by Godzilla and then trampled by a recently-escaped pack of wildebeests, Electronic Arts bought Bioware-Pandemic this week. Bioware, creator of such titles as Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Nights, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, and the upcoming Mass Effect, is one of the greatest RPG developers of all time. But why is the buy-out bad, you ask? Oh, where to begin?
First, and most obviously, the recent Bioware-Pandemic merger was heralded as a paragon for independent developers everywhere. "We're not succumbing to mega-conglomerations," they said, "we don't play by the rules!" They wanted to avoid this exact situation, but what actually happened could only be described as "epic fail." Now, opportunities open to other independent developers will no longer be trick-or-treating in Bioware's territory. For instance, if Bioware wasn't independent, do you think we would've seen them collaborating with LucasArts to create Knights of the Old Republic? Probably not, because the two companies (EA and LucasArts) would've been in direct competition with each other. Ditto for the as of yet unreleased Sonic the Hedgehog RPG.
And just as pressing, where does this leave other independent developers? Why grow and expand if you're just going to be bought out and lose your creative freedom, and maybe even your unique identity? For all we know, EA could be planning to pull a Bullfrog and absorb Bioware into their overall framework, demolishing Bioware as we know it today. Even if EA doesn't say it now, it's still a possibility down the road. And of course, Bioware isn't exactly known for constantly creating sequels. EA, on the other hand
Here's some interesting supplemental reading on the topic:
Firing Squad takes an insider's look at what went on at Bioware on the day of the buy-out. Put simply, Bioware employees didn't even know about the buy-out until it had already happened. Elevation Partners, the proprietors of the Bioware-Pandemic merger, had sold off Bioware-Pandemic quickly and unceremoniously.
Xbox360 Fanboy takes a look at the ramifications of the buy-out from Microsoft's point of view. Will the Mass Effect trilogy remain exclusive to the Xbox 360? That's hard to say. EA doesn't typically create exclusive titles if they can avoid it, and the only thing that's stopping them from abolishing this one is Bioware's previous agreements with Microsoft. But even the future of the trilogy itself could be in danger now. If EA wants to scrap remaining titles in the series because the first one isn't profitable enough, they can. I'm scared. Will someone hold me?
Gods and Heroes Leave this Mortal World; Probably Aren't Coming Back
Following up on a recent development mentioned and extrapolated upon in an earlier edition of this very column, Joystiq reports that Gods and Heroes, Perpetual Entertainment's mythology-based MMORPG, has been put on "indefinite hold." In other words, it's been cancelled, never to know the joys of thrusting a blade into the eye of a Cyclops surely it's jealous of God of War. This is hardly surprising, however, as delays and development team downsizings always signal trouble. Perpetual is now in the process of restructuring; hopefully their next endeavor will end on a more positive note.
Bet'cha Didn't Know the Wiimote could be used for Hunting Monsters 1up recently broke the news of Capcom's announcement that the next iteration of the Monster Hunter series will be coming to the Wii not the PS3 as Capcom had previously indicated. Believe it or not, this is not only big news, but also not entirely unexpected. So let's go in order. Why's it big news? Well, it may not seem like it in this wonderful country that's slowly being economically surpassed by Canada, but Monster Hunter is ridiculously popular. In Japan, the Monster Hunter games have inspired large-scale events, lines on release days, and have managed to sell more than just about any other title on the PSP (Monster Hunter's primary platform prior to this announcement). The Wii makes another megaton-sized gain. And that segues into why the news isn't really out-of-left-field at all: the Wii is more popular than a theoretical combination of McDonald's, Starbucks, and The Cheesecake Factory, the PS3 not so much. Don't freak-out if you see this happening fairly frequently from now on developers stand to benefit a lot more from working on the Wii than they do working on the PS3 (and in some cases, the Xbox 360). The PS3 is expensive to develop for and has an installed base that could be described as "comparable to Panzer Dragoon Saga's American circulation." Ok, not really, but you get the idea. Meanwhile, the Wii is now the number one selling next-gen platform in the world, yet it retains Gamecube level development costs. The choice seems like a no-brainer.
And that's it for this week. Now then, I'd be happy to abolish this silly yet delightfully empowering "evil" empire if someone would just email me a well thought-out response to last week's question. You don't have to, of course, but the slave pits are only the beginning of my tyranny, if you know what I mean.
As for Final Fantasy Tactics: War of the Lions, I've only just begun playing it, so I can't really say much in the way of detailed impressions. Don't worry though you'll be hearing me gush about it far too much in the next couple of weeks, both here and in a review. But for now, I'll leave it at this: the game is most certainly a must-buy if you own a PSP. And with that, I return to my gigantic, ominous, and somewhat spiky lair to set obtuse traps for any heroes that may try to kill me. After all, I've destroyed quite a few seemingly harmless villages lately.
