The Wonder Years 12.20.07: Week 35 - Daze Before Christmas
Posted by Owain J. Brimfield on 12.20.2007
Mercilessly cashing in on the Christmassy theme...
Welcome to the column where all gamers of a certain age come to wallow in 16-bit nostalgia. I'm your host, Owain J. Brimfield, and I'll be discussing some of the hidden gems and instant classics of gaming's golden era. Some of these games may crop up on the Wii's Virtual Console at some point, some may be consigned to the annals of history. Either way, they're worth tracking down if you missed them first time round, or replaying if you were lucky enough to catch them. Let's take a trip to:
DAZE BEFORE CHRISTMAS
(Sunsoft, Genesis & Super NES, 1994)
It's going to be a short one this week fans, partly because as usual when Christmas rears its red-capped head family troubles are rife, but mostly because today's game of choice is actually pretty unremarkable. But what the heck, it's Christmas-themed so I'm going to run with it anyway! As I'm sure most gamers are aware, very few Christmas games tend to see the light of day, primarily due to their limited sales potential and the fact that Santa Claus isn't exactly a beguiling protagonist. The only other ones I can think of off the top of my head are the Xbox's Nightmare Before Christmas and the add-on to Worms that included an array of wonderful Christmassy levels. But nevertheless, Sunsoft saw fit to release upon the world a seasonal platformer aimed squarely at the younger demographic. Coded by Funcom (Scandinavian developers, natch), Daze Before Christmas is a simplistic romp through a variety of side-scrolling levels, as ol' Saint Nick races to foil an evil snowman who has kidnapped all his elves and is holding all the presents to ransom. Original, this is not. The game's plot unfolds in rhyming couplets between levels, which although unbearably twee is actually a nice touch and very inkeeping with the game's spirit. Plus, you have to love the horrendously amateur nature of the rhyming couplets: "He Tore the Presents Open / And On Them Cast A Spell / That's When Santa Woke Up / --Something Wasn't Well!"
As might be expected, Santa's adventures through Daze Before Christmas take the form of a very traditional and generic platformer. Traveling through 24 festively flavored levels (don't let the number fool you - some of the so-called "levels" can be completed within the space of a minute), Santa uses ice and fire magic as well as the obligatory butt-stomp maneuver to rid the world of nasties such as giant rats and evil snowmen. Murderizing these vile creatures causes them to drop the presents they have stolen, which are placed into Santa's bag o' fun and distributed around the world in some tacked-on minigames between levels. In a somewhat bizarre and defiantly un-family friendly twist, the game also seems to feature flying penises as enemies in a few of the levels. Or possibly I'm misinterpreting the visuals on that one. Anyway, the gimmick (for every sub-par platformer needs a hook, doesn't it?) is that Santa in his normal form is as relatively harmless as you'd expect from the beardy old funster - however, should he down a shot of coffee/potion/something, he morphs into a horrendous blue beastie known as the Anti-Claus. Clever, no? Devil-Santa is nigh-on invincible, and can dispatch enemies easily with a hefty swing of his sack. It's a pretty unnecessary option given the game's overall lack of challenge, but it's kind of fun (for a few minutes) to see cuddly Saint Nick unleash hell on a hoard of willy-things. As a game though, Daze Before Christmas is about what you'd expect from a seasonal tie-in coded by a team of four blokes.
I have to say, I'd put good money on this game being lost to history and a few gamers' fond (or otherwise) memories. Given the subject matter, the cartridge's original print run was more limited than most, and I sincerely doubt that sales were high enough to warrant many more iterations of the title. Really, your best bet should you wish to play a copy of Daze Before Christmas is to download the ROM file - given that one can legally own a ROM for 24 hours, that should give you plenty of time to sample everything the game has to offer. I know I've railed against the game for most of this column, and that degree of criticism is probably undeserved. It's a solid, hassle-free platformer that's done nothing more than try and inject a bit of seasonal fun into the genre, and for that I suppose, it should be applauded. Keep it quiet, though, for fear of Santa starring in his own gaming franchise. For the kids, this would probably have been a decent Chrimbo present, even if it's more stocking filler than big-box-under-the-tree. Anyway, I need to wrap things up now [zing!] because as well as the aforementioned family troubles, it seems that our propane tank has developed a leak and the gasman will be here soon, probably to evacuate us from the household into the bitter winter night. Merry fucking Christmas, everybody!
Daze Before Christmas trivia
The game was the final title released by Sunsoft USA. It's a shame their legacy ended with something this mediocre, really.
Apparently, the Super NES port of the Genesis original was completed by one sole programmer. Thrilling!
Daze Before Christmas is, well, nowhere near my official all-time Top 100 games. Watcha gonna do?
The Videosphere
Let's take a look at this week's video highlight. In the spirit of the season, and to take a short break from our usual subject matter, here's a video of British cock-rock band The Darkness performing the greatest Christmas song ever written: "Don't Let the Bells End". Enjoy!
General indulgences
Every week in this section I'll endeavor to provide you, the faithful readers, with a fascinating insight into the various forms of entertainment currently dominating my spare time.
This week, I have been mostly enjoying:
Pro Evolution Soccer 2008, or at least the demo of it on PS3. Is it just me or has this franchise not really progressed at all over the past three or four games? If only ISS was still around in its original incarnation.
Led Zeppelin I, which I've finally bought as part of my quest to persuade the world that I'm not musically uneducated and I do own some of the classics. A lot bluesier than I'd predicted, this one, and it's interesting to see how the band have diversified over the years. Check out some songs from their recent reunion gig on YouTube.
Equilibrium, recently viewed as part of an attempt to stop my housemate Mantonia going bored. It's a hard task, and the movie didn't quite deliver for him, which is a shame as it's an underrated if simplistic action/sci-fi flick.
and Dream Theater Live in Bucharest, available as part of the band's Ytsejam official bootleg range. Although the Romanian production work is predictably shonky (ignoring Petrucci's hands during the intro of "The Glass Prison" is unforgivable), the concert is up to the band's usual impeccable standards.
And finally…
As always, reader feedback and suggestions are welcome, I respond to everything so just drop me a line. You can also check out my science fiction column "The Flux Capacitor" over at 411 Movies. Next week in "The Wonder Years" - it's probably going to end up being some sort of imagination-free review of the year... but 16-bit themed! Until then - keep it real, keep it retro.
