Working Title 02.14.08: Games That NEED A Sequel II Part 2

Posted by Jordan Williams on 02.14.2008

..The games that DON'T need sequels. For every forgotten game that desperately needs a sequel, there is a game that would be better off never appearing again. What are those games and why should they stop production? Come find out.

Welcome back to the #1 Column to have its HD fried FIVE DAYS before his income tax money arrives, WORKING TITLE. Sorry about the missed week folks. My HD has been giving me trouble for quite awhile and I was hoping it would hold out until the IRS gave me my tax money, but I guess it just couldn't. Either way, I'm BACK.

When we left off I did a sequel to a column about sequels in which I pointed out which games needed sequels. From the comments it looks like the column was a huge success and I will yet again NOT have to murder a puppy. This week the column takes a twist in its second part. I'm going to highlight some games/franchises that do NOT need sequels.

I mean, let's face it. There are some games out there that can be left better off dead. Or at least were good enough that trying to make a sequel would just ruin the effect of it. But the big problem is that even with the extra week to think about this, I couldn't for the life of me think of five games that really DIDN'T need a sequel. I mean I can think of horrible on-off games. But not like an actual series.

So you all will have to settle for just three. If you don't like it feel free to add more. If the last few weeks have taught me anything it's that you all are very vocal when given the right topic...or when I threaten to murder a cute and innocent animal.

With that out of the way, let's get this shindig on the road.

Get ready for a really long and contrived title.....NOW!


Working Sequel: Games that NEED Sequels II part 2: The Games that DON'T need sequels.

Conker's Bad Fur Day

Release Date: 2001-2005
Original Platform: Nintendo 64, XBOX

Oh Conker. You cheeky little chipmunk...or squirrel...whatever the fuck you are. You and your potty humor, over the top violence, and quasi-sexual content were supposed to be a breath of fresh air for the then-dying Nintendo 64. Instead what we got was CBFD. I know a lot of people loved this game but I for one didn't care about it much at all, and I know a lot of people are frothing at the mouth for a sequel to this game and I just hope it never happens. To me this game was just all that was wrong with the gamer stereotype. Sure, I get that it was SUPPOSED to be just as vulgar and tasteless as it set out to be but it was all just too much and too cheesy. I mean I laugh at any good dick or fart joke but once you make them so painfully easy and forgo actually having a good game to go with them the whole thing just gets sort of pointless. I will say though that Conker did have some of the best multiplayer for it's time. I'd like to see THAT get a true sequel and ditch all of the cheesy humor.

As I pointed out WAAAAY back in Overrated/Underrated, this game was over for me at The Great Mighty Poo. TGMP goes down for me as one of the best moments in gaming history, but it also is the exact point where Conker outlived its welcome. After that the jokes were just lame, witless, and didn't do much. Why does anyone want to go through this again? I would think having GTA's brand of 'humor' which mostly consists of every single name of everything being a sexual joke would be enough for those types. Conker doesn't need a second bad day, hell. He shouldn't have even gotten the remake of the first.

Why it DOESN'T need a sequel: To put it bluntly, I don't think gamers are this stupid. For YEARS now we have been trying to get taken seriously and I think if a game like this hits the market and we all sit around yucking it up at it just paints the picture that everyone else has been painting of us for decades. Games like Pyschonauts, Monkey Island, and Portal have proved that gamers DO have a sense of humor that expands beyond laughing at a cartoon squirrel pissing on a fire demon. For as much flak as I give Rockstar, even then all of its humor isn't circled around the immature (despite them beating you over the head with it in GTA). The world is ready for another Conker, but frankly I think we've all grown out of it and if you haven't...you're a big doo-doo head.

Will it get a sequel: C'mon guys, it's RARE. It took them how long to crank out Perfect Dark Zero? Exactly. I don't think this game will ever get a sequel, and it's not completely Rare's fault. I think the industry knows that gamers have grown out of this type of stuff as well. Don't believe me? Look at how many rated M games hit the market since Conker's release. Now look at those and tell me how many were Rated M for potty humor and sexual innuendo rather than gore and graphic violence. Sure, it's not the best argument in the world to say gamers are more interested in graphic violence and rampant killing rather than potty humor and gross out gags, but then again if the shoe fits we might as well wear it.


Mario Party

Release Date: 1998-Present
Original Platform: Arcade, Nintendo 64, Gamecube, Wii, DS.

You know, with these types of things I usually try not to gun for the obvious choice (that explains why Good vs. Evil is never, ever, mentioned.) but sometimes a choice is just so glaringly obvious that it just HAS to be chosen.

This is one of those times.

Why? I seriously want to know why. I have no real beef for Mario Party. I just don't understand for the LIFE of me why we need 9 sequels of this game. I get it, Nintendo loves their minigames. Hell, -I- like minigames, but it doesn't mean I want 10 different versions of them. I'm sure this will catch a bunch of flack, and damn it I don't care. Mario Party needs to die. It's far too easy to fall into a rut sticking to what you're good at and Nintendo is making a home in that rut.

Mario Party isn't a bad game, for what it's setting out to do it's actually a really GOOD game, but in the same vein there's also a time when people just don't care anymore and I think that time passed about five games ago. Go back to the drawing board, think of a new twist to add on. Online play, create-a-game, an actual story. Give us a reason to care about this game beyond just seeing a new number behind and maybe then people won't use Mario Party as an example of over saturation...they'll just go back to using Megaman instead.

Why it DOESN'T need a sequel: This is just plain and simple. It's just getting flat out old. We get a new one almost every year and for a company that's so high on innovation one of its best selling games has a surprising lack of it. It's a fun little diddy of a game for the first few hours, but then you realized it's the same thing you played 7 times before just with a new color on the box. Nintendo really shouldn't charge full price for this.

Will it get a sequel: You know it will, as we speak Mario Party 9 are in the works. I can decry this game until I am blue in the face but it won't change that people WILL buy it, people WILL play it, and people WILL like it. But for every one of those people there will be people like me who think that if there is a series that is in desperate need for some creativity, it'll be this one.

Portal

Release Date: 2007
Original Platform: Xbox 360, PS3, PC

Put the pitchfork and torch down. Hear me out.

Yes, that means you.

Portal, one of the best surprises of 2007 does NOT need a sequel. Usually when a game calls for a sequel the story usually leaves it open for such. There's some lose ends that need to be tied up or something they might not have touched on. None of that was in Portal; the ending seemed fairly closed to me. Sure, we got a hint that GlaDOS was still alive, but to me that's not enough to warrant a Portal 2.

It's enough to make Chell, GlaDOS and Aperture Science a part of Half Life 3, whenever that happens. I mean if you look at the big pictured at the end of Portal Chell is free. She's now on the loose with this prototype technology that is just DYING to fall into the wrong hands and GlaDOS is still alive. Despite what the song says you'd best believe that she's pissed about how that relationship ended and just won't let it slide. This leaves a lot of room for Chell to show up in Half-Life 3 and join everyone's favorite crowbar wielding maniac for some fun.

The more you think about it, the more it makes sense in the long run. A Portal 2 WOULD be awesome as I'm sure a lot of people want a second dose of the crazy puzzles, but I think they stand to do a lot more with it if it gets sucked into the Half-Life lore.

Why it DOESN'T need a sequel: It's a rare case when a good game doesn't need a sequel. This game wasn't bad, it wasn't a waste of time, it wasn't a missed opportunity, and it wasn't something that's been done to death. The game just simply doesn't need a sequel. The story and characters they've set up, along with the portal gun and the escape just set this story up to be put into the main story of Half-Life 3 more than being the next chapter of Portal 2. That's all there is to it.

Will it get a sequel: I honestly don't know. On one hand, with Portal being such the surprise hit and cash cow, Valve might just feel obligated to give the vans a second helping of Portal via Portal 2. But on the other hand, Valve has shown with Half-Life that they are willing to piss a few people off if it means that Half-Life gets a richer and better story. I really can't tell what direction it would go in, but at least either way you will have an awesome game.

And that's that, I only had three...but they were a good three. Now the rest is up to you. I know there's A TON more games out there than the ones listed that don't need anymore sequels. Go ahead and let me hear it.

Working Feedback

Due to the new format of which we at 411 receive feedback, it makes it a bit harder to highlight as specific one. So I'll just answer some general questions/feedbacks I've seen.

"Since you made mention of rare, and Conker, you just have to include a sequel for Conker's Bad Fur Day on this list!!! One of the greatest games ever made and it needs a sequel! Conker deserves another adventure!! And I'm not counting the Xbox remake." - Robert

Uh...whoops?

"Any thought out there on more from the "Mutant League" series (football and hockey)? Really, being able to off the other players with mines, chainsaws and other weapons or just through vicious hits would rock on the next gen consoles!" - Spabb

You sir, are a genius. There's another game that I actually forgot about that really needs to be brought back. Given my earlier assessment that right now gamers are jonsin' for more blood and guts, a game that does it with sports would sell huge.

"I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I still like and watch Attack of the Show, so you've just moved down to #3." - JP Prag

You know what, JP? I'm going to smack you in the mouth.

Working Question: Flavor of the Month

Yet another new space filler feature I'm rolling out. Just a new way to see how you people out there are doing. I'll end some columns with a question and you can respond in the comments or drop me an email.

As I've said before, I've had my Xbox 360 for about four months now, and I've noticed that while I only have a small set of games...I keep seeming to have a flavor of the month. I played Oblivion a lot before I even got a 360 and then I finally bought it about a week after I got it. I played it for a bit, but I ended up getting some new games and it collected dust.

A few days ago on a whim I popped Oblivion back in and I haven't been able to put it down. This has happened many times before. Last month for some unknown reason I decided to start playing Saints Row again, and then Marvel Ultimate Alliance. Despite me having new games like Mass Effect, Assassin's Creed, and Turok to dick around with.



I just wanted to know does this weird 'flavor of the month' gaming cycle happen to anyone else, if so, what are the biggest culprits? Just wanna figure out everyone's playing habits.

Next week...

Well, that finally ends this series which means next week you are all in for a good old WORKING RANT. I've got some ideas in mind for it, but next week also kicks off GDC 08 so depending on something BIG happening there I may end up talking about that.

Until next time, I'm Jordan Williams...and I finally played Call of Duty 4 and Capt. Price isn't as cool as people say he is.