Angry Gaming 02.18.08: Ode to the Capcom Five

Posted by Damian Sarcuni on 02.18.2008

A President’s Day salute to the biggest scum bag move in the history of video games.

Welcome to Angry Gaming, the virus that infects the gaming industry and subtly alters its DNA. I am your hate master, Damian Sarcuni, and if anyone ever asks me "Do you remember the last time you got sick?" like they asked Bruce Willis in the movie Unbreakable, I'll say "Yeah, last week, ass." then I'll beat them to death with their own shoes. I'm just saying.


Ode to the Capcom Five

The world is full of traitors. Not only are we constantly assaulted and plotted against by those with no scruples or loyalty in our daily lives, but we find them throughout history as well. Judas Iscariot, Cassius, and several other top tier politicians have made their mark upon the world not through great conquests or legendary feats, but by pulling off some of the diabolical power ploys of all time. History remembers a backstabber, because that is the attack that wounds us not just physically, but emotionally as well. It's a dog eat dog world out there, but what they don't tell you is that dogs apparently like to attack their prey from behind.

Certainly nobody explained this to Nintendo, the most loveable and innocent of the video game companies. Even when Nintendo releases or licenses an adulterated game the whole thing just feels out of place. These are the weak, frail, cuddly little Japanese executives who brought us such cutesy features as Pokemon and Animal Crossing. I don't think there is a single Nintendo game that doesn't have at least one big-eyed soulful innocent character designed specifically to hypnotize us with its baby-like charms. And yes, I'm including Killer Instinct in that list. Orchid was just soooooo cute!

When someone exudes innocence the way Nintendo does, they open themselves to a mass following of friends and fans that are impressed by the purity and kindness of their cherub-like souls. Unfortunately, this also leaves our sweet little protagonists open to the attacks of some of the most vile, evil, crafty and dastardly sons of bitches ever to walk the Earth. In this case, the ones wearing the top hat and black cloak while stroking oversized lengthy mustaches are the classic game developer group, Capcom.

In 2003, about 2 years after the release of the Gamecube platform, Capcom inked a deal with Nintendo for the release of five exclusive games to be made only for the Gamecube. It has been said that in business, there is no deal until a contract is signed. Nintendo and Capcom proved that saying to be pure nonsense, as in this case there was no deal even after said contract was signed.

Capcom, eventually coming to their senses and hearing the cries of their gluttonous wallets, cited miscommunication during the contract negotiation. What miscommunication, you ask? Well, when Nintendo said they wanted their games to be "exclusive to the Gamecube", Capcom representatives thought they had said "not anywhere remotely near exclusive to the Gamecube". When Nintendo said they wanted five games, Capcom did some quick math and came to the conclusion that 5 = 4, and produced 4 games. Lastly, Capcom took some creative liberties with the contract definition of the word "video games" and replaced it with the words "unfinished pieces of garbage".

Although the two companies did eventually kiss and make up (because Nintendo is a glutton for punishment) we at Angry Gaming shall never forget the Capcom Five. These games are a symbolic representation of one of the biggest scum bag moves in video game history, and on this not-so-grandiose occasion we remember the fate of the Capcom five.


P.N.03 – A lesson in economics



Product Number 3 the no-frills title of video games, was released in 2003. A pure shooter, P.N.03 followed the adventures of Vanessa Schneider, a bounty hunter assigned to eliminate an army of crazed robots attacking a facility or a city or something or other. The most attractive part of the whole thing was that the main character moved around like a stripper on methamphetamines while moving utterly slow and running through 12 short, uninspired stage areas.

P.N.03 was laughed at by critics for the most part, who mostly cited that the game was a throw back to classic arcade shooters. Others called it a clone of the Devil May Cry series, but without the inspired demonic lore to hold up the premise. Personally I never played the game, because Product Number 3 offered a simple lesson in economics.

Walk into any video game store and browse the latest next-gen titles. If you see a game that appears brand new and is on sale for less than $10, AND isn't being advertised largely enough so that cosmonauts lost in orbit can see it, its probably too good to be true. P.N.03 dropped below the $10 mark faster than any other Gamecube game ever, and this is basically the same thing as slapping a warning sticker on the box that reads: "WARNING: INNATE BOREDOM APPROACHING". Suffice to say, Product Number 3 did not sell well, and plenty of money was lost all around on the game's release.


Dead Phoenix on arrival



Little is known about the mysterious Dead Phoenix title, because the damn game was never released. Early screenshots suggested that the game was designed to be set in a mythical world full of demons and monsters, and critical speculation implied that the game's themes would be similar to that of the Nintendo classic Kid Icarus. Capcom cancelled Dead Phoenix in August of 2003, and made no attempt to reopen or replace the project as per Nintendo's contract. That's basically the same thing as walking into a store, grabbing a soda, and going up to the counter, paying your money, and letting the clerk keep both the item and the pay. Not a smart business move to say the lease.


Killer 7 – Sweet mystery of life



Ok, I won't lie. In my humble opinion, Killer 7 is one of the few good games to come out of Capcom 5. I personally enjoyed Killer 7 very much and playing it turned me into a huge fan of its creator, Suda 51. That said, the release of this title was far from smooth or profitable.

Killer 7 was originally slated for release in December of 2003, but was pushed back all the way to July of 2005. While the game did develop a cult following from those who had the patience to play though it in its entirety, it met with very mixed reviews. This is mostly due to the fact that Killer 7 was purposefully made on a very restrictive "rail" system, a forward-back directional system that made a mockery of actual first person shooters. On top of that, the plot line for Killer 7 is so obscure it is almost impossible to understand from the outset. There is no way that a game reviewer can play through the first stage of Killer 7 and actually understand its appeal.

As such, the title was plagued by poor sales and became yet another stain on the Capcom 5 contract. To add insult to injury, Capcom released it on the Sony Playstation 2 at the exact same time as the Gamecube version. Exclusivity you say? Sorry, didn't hear you properly. I was too busy counting all this money.


Viewtiful Joe – Why even bother?



While Viewtiful Joe did garner positive reviews from game critics, its sales did not live up to expectations. (Remember those "Viewtiful Day" ads on the back of every freaking magazine available in 2003? Advertising like that costs quite a bit of money.) It also failed to catch on with the mainstream gaming public, because the premise was, well, stupid. Basically, a guy's girlfriend is kidnapped and taken into "movieland", and Joe follows her into the film and turns into a superhero by saying some stupid catchphrase in some stupid watch. Yeah, you can tell I was turned on by the premise.

Viewtiful Joe was still pushed by Capcom despite the lack of sales, and an animated feature even appeared on Saturday morning cartoons. This outing of Viewtiful Joe also failed miserably. More salt in your wound, sir? Capcom re-released the game on the PS2 in 2004 with more characters, after Nintendo struck ANOTHER deal to keep Resident Evil 4 exclusive to the Wii…


Resident Evil 4 – Guess how this turned out!



Resident Evil 4 is considered the only success story of the Capcom five, and even this title was marred with controversy. Capcom announced the release of a PS2 version of the game, promising more content and bonus missions even 2 months BEFORE the release of the Gamecube version! Who the hell undermines their own sales just to hype another version of the exact same game?! This was the true knife in the back from Capcom, tricking Nintendo to negotiate two exclusive deals, neither of which remained exclusive and were sabotaged by Capcom's own press.

On the Gamecube, Resident Evil 4 sold 1,000,000 copies worldwide and won acclaim from several reviewers and most game media. It was also re-released on the Nintendo Wii and was met with even more praise due to the addition of even more content and the use of the Wiimote controls.


The Anger

Scumbags! I usually have a summary or a moral in this space but the bottom line is Capcom pulled a serious dickhead move on Nintendo with the Capcom Five fiasco. This is an example of bad business at its worst, and I pray I never run into anything like it in my professional career. Capcom has been a mixed bag for me in recent years, between the shame of the Capcom 5 and the accepted racism in Dead Rising they are probably the only company that legitimately pisses me off. Considering my column is called Angry Gaming that is saying something. Until next time, embrace the hatred.