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Angry Gaming 02.26.08: How to Make Porn Stars in Soul Calibur III
Posted by Damian Sarcuni on 02.26.2008



Welcome to Angry Gaming, the Hattori Hanzo blade that cuts down the gaming industry's Yakuza swarms. I am your hate master, Damian Sarcuni, and this week I need you all to pray to whatever god or gods you believe in for my benefit. Why, I can't say, but all thoughts and sacrifices would be much appreciated.


How to Make Porn Stars in Soul Calibur III

Due to a hectic schedule, Angry Gaming is switching to a more relaxed format for this article. We'll be back to normal next week, but for now here is a list of details on how to make porn stars using the edit mode in Soul Calibur III.



Look, I was bored, ok? Just be thankful I didn't do this in Fire Pro Wrestling Returns like I originally planned.

Obviously you will need to unlock some items in edit mode before you can do these exactly as described. To create each character you need only input the settings described, everything else can be left blank or set to "nothing".

Also, I apologize in advance for any tinting and saturation issues as I assure you I am quite color-blind. I'll never forget the day modern science confirmed that one. In junior high school my fellow students and I had to go for hearing and vision tests. The teachers put these thick glasses over my head and held a photo frame filled with a glob of color in my face. "Grab the tiger." They said. "What tiger?" I responded. And thus I was declared color-blind.

But I digress. On to the teen rated pornography!


Mika Tan



Job Class: Thief

Hair: Semi-Long (Straight) 02,02
Lower Torso: Leather Corset 35,13
Upper Legs: Miniskirt Upper Legs 35,13
Face: 03
Eyebrows: 24,04
Lips: 35,19
Eyes: 02,05
Skin: 16,13
Underwear: 34,19
Voice: Girl 2

Notes: For an amusing effect, switch the voice from Girl 2 to "Woman" mode. When Mika Tan gets into her more…ahem…intense moments, her vocal octave lowers down to something similar to this sound.


Jenna Haze



Job Class: Barbarian

Hair: Curly Sides 07,25
Chin: Blush 02,17
Lower Torso: Leather Brassiere 08,10
Arms: Dancer's Bracelets 14,16
Neck: Brooch Choker 02,01/02,20
Lower Legs: Barbarian Underwear 08,11
Socks: Type X Socks 18, 14
Face: 07
Eyebrows: 04,07
Lips: 36,17
Eyes: 04,01
Skin: 03,21
Underwear: 27,27
Voice: Girl 1

Notes: A lot of Jenna Haze's videos seem to be shot in these old medieval and 19th century settings, so I decided to go with the curly side hairstyle she uses in those scenes. You can switch up the hairstyle to just about anything though, she's worn it all at some point other.


Aurora Snow



Job Class: Monk

Hair: Long Hair (Type X) 04,19
Lower Torso: Thief's Bustier 05,20
Mid Torso: Dancer's Jacket 13,19
Arms: Dancer's Rings 11,19
Neck: Bell Choker 01,03
Lower Legs: Cloth Bikini 26,19
Face: 03
Eyebrows: 05,19
Lips: 30,17
Eyes: 12,02
Skin: 05,15
Underwear: 20,18
Voice: Girl 1

Notes: This one is a pain in the ass because of the color matching between the bustier and the dancer's jacket. I like the type X hair here as it's the closest thing available to Snow's real life length, and the dancer's rings provide a nice contrast no matter what color you make them.


Sasha Knox



Job Class: Thief

Hair: Medium Length 09,17
Lower Torso: Decorative Brassiere 01,14
Lower Legs: Barbarian Underwear 01,14
Socks: Tabi 19,14
Face: 05
Eyebrows: 09,03
Lips: 36,14
Eyes: 16,11
Skin: 06,15
Underwear: 32,17
Voice: Girl 2

Notes: Knox has done a wide variety of hair colors in her career so you have some leeway there. I'm particularly proud of the face in this one, and the socks are a good indication of the type of roles she usually plays.


The Anger

Please don't ask me why I wrote this, and I won't ask what you do after you've created these characters and saved them. Deal? Deal. Until next time, embrace the hatred.


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Comments (6)

 
Quite possibly the most amazing, useful, and socially beneficial column to ever be created on the inter-webs.

Posted By: Greg Bruno (Registered)  on February 26, 2008 at 12:28 AM

 
 
THis column is the definition of RANDOM!

Not to mention awesome, in a weird way.


Posted By: Brad (Guest)  on February 26, 2008 at 04:42 AM

 
 
Damian has way, way too much time on his hands (pun intended).

Posted By: Ty Huston (Registered)  on February 26, 2008 at 10:06 AM

 
 
Awesome. Now all I need is a CAS of Asia Carrera for Raw 2 on X-Box!!!

Posted By: Ultimate Gene (Registered)  on February 26, 2008 at 10:07 AM

 
 
Rock on man!!

Posted By: Methoes (Guest)  on February 26, 2008 at 07:39 PM

 
 
I don't think that's time on his hands Ty...

Posted By: twf's sdc (Guest)  on March 03, 2008 at 11:34 AM

 


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