Going 8-Bit 3.06.08: Nintendo Fixes

Posted by Jacob Lopez on 03.06.2008

Back in the NES days everyone had their own trademark moves to get their system working when it coughed up. You can still buy the NES and many of its games on Ebay, but what do you do when they don't work? You go 8-bit.




While I work on a column about the 16-bit era , I figured it would be nice to give you a small 8-bit update.  Some of you old school gamers may remember these moves, but the newer generation may
not have even heard of some of these.  When our Nintendo crapped out on us, we usually had quick little fixes that would more often than not get the game running again.



Disclaimer: Most of these things probably did more harm than good.  Except for the NES cleaning kit.  Don't try the following if you have ANY doubts...in fact, don't try them at all; it's just a column.

      
           
               Symptoms:

              
           
  -Instead of a title screen you get a jumbled mess of random letters and numbers



              
           
      -The game works, but you tons of vertical lines running through the screen.

Things to try:



The Blow:



You will need: An NES, A Cartridge, Lungs



Sometimes, the game wouldn't work right away.  The contacts in the cartridge would become dusty if you didn't store them in the plastic sleeves.  This was usually the first remedy in the long line of quick Nintendo fixes.  Many times, this was all you had to do to get the game
on.  This was accomplished by simply blowing into the bottom of the NES cartridge a few times to blast out all that dust that had collected.


Shake, Rattle and Roll:



You will need: An NES, A Cartridge



This technique consisted of inserting the NES cartridge about a quarter of the way in.  Then pushing down and releasing to that the spring mechanism built into the NES popped the cartridge up, do this continuously until the game is all the
way in.  This "trick" probably didn't do a damn thing, but in our minds, it was a sure way to get your NES running again.





The Shock:



You will need:  An NES, A Cartridge



Much like the shock, in involved a bit of rough play with the NES
and the cartridge.  You would insert the cart almost all the way in, and slowly push it down, if it was just about a millimeter over the edge of the cartridge bay, you were in the right spot.  Then push down, the game should "snap" into place.  You will hear a loud "click" if it was done correctly. (please read
my disclaimer above)







Hitting the NES:



You will need: An NES, Your Hand.



Usually out of frustration, many of us would hit the console, amazingly enough, sometimes it actually worked.

Symptoms:

-the title screen flashes, as if self-resetting, over and over

Things to try:


The Reset Button:





You will need: An NES with a working reset button, Your Finger



When the game keeps starting up, then self-resetting, something is wrong.  For whatever strange reason though, hitting the reset button one or two times would usually solve the problem.

Symptoms:

-The mechanism that holds the cart in place is broken.  Every time you insert the cart and push it down, it pops up and will not lock in place.

Things to Try:

The Double-Stacker:



You will need: An NES, 2 Cartridges



The double stacker was an old, and is probably the best known of all the fixes on the list.  All you had to do was insert the game you wished to play, push it down, and then slide any other game in your
library on top of it.  This held the game down just enough to keep you playing.









The Stack and a Half:



You will need: an NES, 2 cartridges, and an NES game sleeve



This was when the double stacker wasn't quite enough.  You had to perform the double stacker, and then add one of those protective game sleeves to the top of the stack; this provided enough pressure to hold the game down.  It also ruined many NES sleeves.

Symptoms:



-Nothing shows up onscreen, just black

Things to try:



The Twist:



You will need: An NES, A cartridge



The game would not read for some reason, you tried blowing, the shock and you tried the shake rattle and roll…still nothing works.  Sometimes, when this happened, it meant the game was not inserted correctly.  You had to push in on the cartridge from one corner just slightly so that the contacts would meet. Turn the console on, then off, play.

Any or All of the Above Fail:

When all of the above failed, there were only two things left to do…

Homemade Cleaning Kit:



You will need:  An NES, a cartridge, 99% rubbing alcohol, Q-tips



Most of us resorted to this at one time or another, and it worked really well.  Just soak the end of the Q-tip in rubbing alcohol and rub it along the inside of the cartridge, cleaning the little metal contacts.  The Q-tip
was usually left pretty dirty, so it was a good idea to do this a few times with clean tips until there was no more black stuff.



Official NES Cleaning Kit:



You will need:  an NES, a Cartridge, and an NES Cleaner



This was the granddaddy of them all…the NES Cleaning Kit.  In it was a small bottle of alchohol, some cleaning swabs and the NES cleaner.  This thing cleaned the NES AND the games.

The games were cleaned with the cleaning tips and the alcohol, much like the homemade cleaning kit.  The system however, was cleaned with this thing that looked like a black cartridge with a handle on
it.  You had to put alcohol on the little cleaner and then slide the cartridge in and out of the system about ten times or so.  This usually got rid of any build-up within the console itself.



 

If none of these worked:

If none of these age-old secrets worked.  Then you where usually S.O.L. and your days of parachuting into the jungle, raiding alien bases and waging war with Red Falcon were over.  At least, it gave you an excuse to get a new game.